Desired in December (Spring River Valley Book 12) (8 page)

Audrey shot her a sympathetic look. “I’m supposed to meet Max for
an early dinner before my shift starts, but I can hang around if it’ll help.”

“No, I’m fine. There’s so much going on. Lots of distractions.”

“Did you polish this whole kitchen by yourself?”

Cassie laughed. “Every inch of it, twice in fact. Frustration is a great motivator.”

“Come on, then. Come with us. You could definitely use a break.”

“I can’t, really. I’m fine. I’ve got the decorations for the walls, now I have the curtains and the rods. The walls are almost dry and the last of the tile is down. The place is practically done. I can put the finishing touches on it tonight
, and Monday I can call the health inspector. If everything goes well, I can technically be open by Wednesday, so I don’t want to blink, much less take a break.”

Audrey squared her shoulders and eyed Cassie sternly. “Don’t make me get my nurse on, young lady. You need to rest. Don’t burn out before you even get started.”

“I won’t.” Cassie grinned and held up the nearly empty box of coffee. “I’ve been drinking this, right from the box, and carb loading, so I’ve got
tons
of energy. I’m saving my complete system meltdown for the week after New Year’s. It’ll be epic, and it’ll probably include hallucinating from exhaustion, breaking things, and lots and lots of crying.”

Audrey cocked her hip and scowled. “I’d laugh, but I think you’re serious. You’re going through a lot right now, so cut yourself some slack.”

“I will. I am. I’m fine.” Cassie shooed her friend toward the back door. “Go, have dinner with Max. If I get finished tonight, I’ll call you tomorrow, and he can come over and take the last of his pictures.”

“Promise you’ll get some sleep,” Audrey said, snatching the last muffin on her way out the door.

“I promise, Nurse Audrey. I’ll get a full eight hours…broken up over the course of the next three days and mixed with liberal doses of caffeine.”

“Stop being facetious.”

“I can’t help myself—and what’s with the muffin? Aren’t you going to dinner?”

“I’ve got a date with Max
, and I need energy, so I’m carb loading.” Audrey winked.

Cassie groaned. “Oh, gross. That’s my cousin you’re talking about.”

“Sorry. Seriously, I’m coming back here with a B12 shot.”

“Put it in a highball glass with vodka and a twist of lime
, and you have a deal.”

“Cassie!”

“I’m joking. For heaven’s sake, get out of here before those carbs wear off.” She waved Audrey out and let out a loud sigh as she closed the back door behind her. If only she’d been kidding. She really did plan to work nonstop until everything was ready to open the shop. This was her real debut, the beginning of her dream job, and she couldn’t stand the thought of delaying it for even a second.

She spent the next few hours unpacking supply boxes she’d brought over in the van and stocking the kitchen with gleaming pots and pans. It was after six when she gathered the brass rods and gingham curtains Audrey had dropped off and headed out front to see if she could get one of the workers to install them for her.

The place was empty.

“Wow.” Turning a complete circle, she marveled at how much the place had changed in a week and how completely self-absorbed she had to have been not to realize it was well beyond quitting time for Mr. Walkowski’s work crew.

Maybe Audrey was right. She needed some downtime. After all, the health inspector didn’t care about curtains. The kitchen was spotless, the refrigeration cases worked beautifully, and all the appliances passed muster. That was all that mattered right now.

Setting the curtains and rods on one of the
wrought-iron tables, she turned back toward the kitchen and nearly collided with James. She let out a short scream and jumped back a step. “You scared me. I thought everyone was gone.”

“I was just washing up. I think you had your head in the oven again when I walked past you.”

“I did not.” Well, maybe she had. The pilot light needed one final check.

James glanced at the curtains and rods. “Need help with those?”

She wanted desperately to say yes, not because she wanted to keep James around now that everyone else had left—and she’d stick to that story on pain of torture—but because the prospect of measuring everything and getting all the hardware in the right place gave her a headache. She liked to cook, to bake, to decorate, not mess around with hammers and nails and screwdrivers.

Stay strong, she told herself, and waved off his offer. “No. I’m fine. Besides, it’s late and it’s Saturday night. I don’t want to be charged for overtime.” She tried to make her voice light so he’d know she was just joking.

He scowled anyway. “No charge. Consider it a favor for…an old friend.”

The words
stung her heart. Wasn’t she so much more than that? “It’s fine. I don’t mind doing it myself. Besides, I’d like to do some decorating and just enjoy the quiet.”

“You’re going to stay here alone?”

“Sure. Why not?”

“It’s dark out.”

“It’s six fifteen. It’s not like it’s the witching hour.”

“You still shouldn’t be here by yourself at night.”

Cassie laughed. “It’s Spring River Valley, not New York City. It’s perfectly safe.”

“Still, it’s better not to be alone. I’ll stay with you.”

“You really don’t have to.”

James crossed his arms over his chest. “You could call your boyfriend. If he’s a standup guy, he wouldn’t want you working alone at night either.”

The fight she’d been gearing up for about how an independent woman could take care of herself at six o’clock on a cold dark evening drained out of her at the mention of her “boyfriend.”

Having her lie tossed back in her face made her feel like a
—well, like a liar.

She let out a long, slow breath. Odds were she wouldn’t have James rattling around the store after tonight since all the construction work was done, so this would be a good time to tell him the truth. “There is no guy.”

“Hmm?” He leaned forward slightly as if he hadn’t heard.

“I said, I don’t have a boyfriend. I lied to you the other night.”

“I know.”

She eyed him sidelong. “You know?”

“I have a source, let’s say, who told me you’re not dating anyone.”

“Oh, really?” She filed that information away. Who was telling James her business? Did it matter at the moment? “Regardless, I’m sorry I lied. I shouldn’t have.”

He held up a hand. “It’s all right. I guess I deserve it, and I get why you did it.”

“No, I don’t think you really do.” Cassie’s heart hammered. Was this conversation really going to happen now?

Considering the renovations were done and she would probably have no reason to see him again, she had to take this one last chance to tell him everything before their lives diverged again.

* * * *

Believing Cassie had a boyfriend had almost been easier to take than the truth. James didn’t need to hear that she had lied to keep him at a distance. He deserved that, but the look on her face told him she needed him to hear what she had to say, no matter how painful it was going to be for him.

“So then why did you lie? Are you saying it’s not because you’ve given up and moved on
, and you don’t want the jerk who dumped you in a letter hanging around?”

Her eyes widened, and for a second, he expected her to just nod and dismiss him from her life forever. “No, I lied because
you’re more than the jerk who dumped me in a letter. You’re the jerk who broke my heart the one and only time it’s ever been broken, and you’re the jerk I’ve been desperately trying to forget for the past five years, and I don’t want to be that girl who never gets over the jerk who got away and spends all her time fantasizing that there’s still a spark between us.”

James gaped. Okay, so she’d called him a jerk
four times in one sentence, but hadn’t she also admitted she wasn’t over him and that she still hoped there was a chance for them? “It’ll always be more than a spark, Sassie.” The nickname slipped out, and her cheeks flamed.

She looked away. “Don’t call me that.”

“I’m sorry. Look, I own it. I made the mistake. I was so stupid and scared, and I told myself that I owed it to myself to go out there and see what life was like outside this silly little town, and I didn’t want anything holding me back. It took me about six months to realize that wasn’t why I broke up with you.”

“So why did you?” She sank into the nearest of the white metal chairs and folded her trembling hands on the table in front of her.

“Turns out it was because I knew I couldn’t hold on to you from halfway around the world. I knew there was going to be someone, maybe dozens of guys, who were going to be here, right here in front of you, being what you needed and being what I couldn’t be. It was easier to push you away than to lose you.”

“So you decided to break my heart before I broke yours?”

He nodded. It sounded so foolish now, but he’d realized in time his choice was actually justifiable. “Then I started hearing stories about the guys who’d gone home to their wives and girlfriends and lost them anyway because what you have to do over there, what you go through, it can change you. I realized even if I’d trapped you and made you wait for me, when I got back, I might not be the same person. I didn’t want to come home as someone you didn’t recognize and have you realize you wasted all those years waiting for someone who was never going to come back, even if he was standing right in front of you. I loved you too much for that.”

Cassie let out a shuddering breath
, and the tears that had been brimming in her eyes spilled over her cheeks. “But here you are. And I recognize you, at least on the outside. On the inside are you the same man who left?”

James shook his head. “No. And you’re not the s
ame either.” He laughed. “Look at this place. Look at you. You’re a force of nature. You create something out of nothing all day, and everyone knows your name and everyone looks forward to seeing you. I’m in awe of who you are now.”

Ignoring the compliment, Cassie stared at him. “But you’re
not
the same?”

“There’s no way I could be. I came back knowing I’m not invincible and knowing how fragile everything is and how easily we can lose everything. It scares me sometimes. I sort of miss being the clueless kid I used to be who thought the worst thing in the world was having to explain to my Dad how the door of his Fiat got dented homecoming weekend. I’m not the guy who doesn’t have a care in the world anymore, but I’m still the guy who loves you, and the one who hasn’t given up hoping maybe I can make up for my mistake.”

“What are you saying?” she demanded, eyes glimmering like jewels.

“I’m saying, I never stopped wanting you. Is there any possible way you still want me?”

The split second that she hesitated seemed like an eternity, but then Cassie was in his arms, warm and soft and vanilla-scented, crying and kissing him and erasing five years of doubt and loneliness and regret with a kiss that rocked his world to its foundations.

Kissing James
left Cassie weak and gasping. Wrapped in his arms, she felt complete for the first time in years, but also breakable as if she’d shatter if he let her go. She’d imagined kissing him again, a real, soul-stealing kiss like this one, fantasized about it so many times, but none of those daydreams came close to reality. She hadn’t counted on drowning in him, on being a hundred percent ready to lose herself in him and never surface again.

She pulled back first, and covered her lips with her fingers, as if by pressing the sensation of his touch into her flesh, she could keep it there forever. Her hand shook.

“Cass—”

“It’s all or nothing,” she whispered, dropping her hand. The conviction in her words shocked her. What was she saying? What was she asking for?
“If you want me, it’s all or nothing. You have to mean it and you have to be in it for good, because I don’t want to go through losing you again.”

He shook his head, a half smile tilting his lips and lighting his eyes. “You won’t. I came back for you. All I ever wanted was to come back for you.”

“Then kiss me again.”

He obeyed, crushing her against him with one arm and cradling her face with his free hand.

She clung to him, tears blurring her vision. She moaned when he backed her against the nearest wall, not caring if the paint was completely dry or not. She melted when he pressed his length against her, knowing full well, if he stepped away now, she’d fall. He was her strength, and she couldn’t stand or breathe or think without him.

When James trailed kisses down her neck and pulled her shirt aside to
allow his lips to travel lower, she whispered his name reverently. His hands roamed the waistband of her jeans, and hers dragged his T-shirt up, exposing the rock-hard ridges of his abs to her hungry touch.