Demons of the Sun (21 page)

Jax’s face dropped, and she realized he thought she wasn’t answering because she didn’t trust him. She put her hand on his cheek. “I know you’d never give me up. I’m not worried about you.”

The tension drained from him. “Good. Because you’re right. I’d never do anything to hurt you or the Order.”

And what would you do if it came down to choosing one or the other?
That question was far too loaded to get into. It would take a lot more explanation from her, explanation she wasn’t ready to give. She didn’t know if she’d ever be ready to give it to him.

Her eyes burned from all the crying she’d done, and after losing control at Isadora’s apartment and rehashing one of the worst days of her life, she was completely exhausted. Just getting to the bedroom was going to be a challenge.

“I’m going to go to bed.” She stood, thinking how nice it would be to crawl into her soft, warm bed.

Where the nightmares would be waiting for her.

That thought made her stomach clench. They’d been getting worse and worse, and if it got much worse than last night…

I don’t know if I can make it through another one.

She looked down at Jax. “Telling you about the night I lost my family, and with everything going on…” Her heart was hammering so hard it hurt. “I keep having nightmares, and I was wondering…Do you want to come now, or would you rather wait until I start screaming?”

Jax swallowed, like it took great effort, and she was afraid he was going to say no. Then he stood and draped his arm over her shoulders. “Let’s see if we can avoid the screaming part.”

Her anxiety washed away.

Then, like always, came the guilt. She didn’t want to lead him on, and she didn’t want to betray Adrastos. But she needed one good night of sleep to recover, and having Jax next to her would help with that.

She’d deal with the guilt later.

Sunlight peeked through her window and Persephone rolled away from its brightness as her last moments of sleep drifted away.

Jax covered a yawn with his hand. “Any nightmares?”

The realization she hadn’t had one sent a mixture of relief and happiness through her. “No nightmares. Actually, that’s the best sleep I’ve had in a long time.”

“I’m happy I could help, even if it’s only with bad dreams.”

“Well, they’re awful enough I’d rank them right up there with demons.”

His eyebrows drew together as he studied her. “What could be that bad?”

She sat up, because she still couldn’t bring herself to tell him about the nightmares, even after all he’d done for her. He’d never understand. Not without knowing about the demon blood running through her. Not without telling him she wasn’t as good as he thought she was.

He shifted and she expected him to leave. Instead, he sat up and brushed her hair over her shoulder. “You don’t have to tell me, and I’ll still be here every night if that’s what you want.”

Warmth filled her chest and a lump formed in her throat. She turned and looked into his eyes. She was playing with fire. Very cute, attractive fire.

“What’s this?” He ran his finger over the spot where the trefoil knot was etched into her skin. “You’ve got a tattoo?”

She threw her hand over it. “Oh, yeah. Anyway, we should—”

“Did it hurt?”

Persephone remembered Adrastos’s lips against her neck, the heat it had sent through her. His words replayed in her mind
. No beginning, no end, just always and forever.

“It didn’t hurt at all.” But she hurt now. Her heart ached when she thought of Adrastos, and how he’d feel if he knew she’d been cuddled up to a handsome Warrior for the last two nights.

I was really hoping the guilt would wait at least until after breakfast.

“So what’s it mean?” Jax asked.

“It’s a trefoil knot. It symbolizes immortality, forever. It’s…” Her throat had gone dry, and it hurt when she tried to swallow. “Adrastos gave it to me.”

A crease formed between Jax’s eyebrows. “You let him tattoo you? That doesn’t sound like you.”

She scooted to the edge of the bed. “We wanted to have a symbol of our commitment to each other. He’s got one, too.”

“I want to talk to him. There’s something you’re not telling me about him, and I don’t trust the guy.”

“That’s because you don’t know him, and all that matters is I trust him.” Persephone walked around the foot of the bed, and Jax stepped into her path.

“I don’t like it,” Jax said. “The mystery, the marking you. Something’s off about this guy.”

“Lots of people get tattoos, and you’re making a bigger deal of it than it is. And by the way, it doesn’t have anything to do with you, so you don’t have to like it.”

“Nothing to do with me?” The muscles along his jaw tightened. “That’s right, I’m just the temporary fill-in until he gets back. You keep telling yourself that, Persephone.” Looking completely disgusted with her, he shook his head. “I’ll be here to protect you, to help you guard the dagger, no matter what. But next time you need someone to hold you, why don’t you call up your boyfriend.”

***

Jax was so angry he couldn’t think straight. He wanted to slam his fists into the wall, kick over the plant, grab the door, rip it off the hinges, and toss it aside. To keep from destroying the place, he burst out of the house and stormed down the sidewalk, the blood boiling in his veins.

I’m such an idiot! She told me she was in love with someone else, but I convinced myself she was in denial. She has a freaking tattoo!

Which means she’s either stupid, or she loves him more than I realized.

It felt like he’d been punched in the gut. Because Persephone wasn’t stupid.
Why did I let myself fall for her? I’m supposed to protect her, not win her heart.

Was it so bad to hope that both things were possible?

Last night she’d fallen asleep in his arms, and he thought that life couldn’t get any better. He’d been right. It had taken a nosedive.

He thought he’d be okay with just being close to her, even if she was thinking of someone else. But now he was miserable, and he realized he cared.

Not just care, I love her. I’m freakin’ in love with that girl, and after the way I acted, she’ll probably never talk to me again.

Somewhere along the way he’d taken a right and ended up several blocks from her house, drifting into the business district. He sat on a bench and propped his head in his hands.

After spending a good fifteen minutes sulking and feeling sorry for himself, he tried to think of the right thing to say to Persephone. Something that would undo the damage he’d done.

In theory, if you really loved someone, you wanted them to be happy. And he did want Persephone to be happy. He just wanted her to be happy with him. That other guy didn’t deserve her.

Yeah, that’s probably not the best thing to say to her if you want her to talk to you ever again.

Five more minutes without coming up with anything he thought would work, he realized he’d just have to go back and try to diffuse the situation. Truth was, he’d never know the right thing to say, and even if he did plan it all out, he’d probably screw it up when he got there. Nope, he’d have to suck it up, go back to the house, and deal with the fact that he loved a girl who was never going to love him back.

Jax closed the front door and called out for Persephone.

She didn’t answer, which wasn’t surprising. She was probably still mad. He looked into the open bathroom—not there—then knocked on her bedroom door. “Persephone?”

No answer.

“I lost my temper and I’m sorry.”

Nothing.

He opened the door. Empty. Her cell phone was on her side table, though, plugged into the charger.

He walked back to the living room and looked outside. The car was gone. The clock on the cable box showed it was early for school, but he knew how she felt about being on time. He decided he’d take a quick shower and then make the walk to school. At least that would give him time to come up with a decent apology.

Jax scanned the halls of the school for Persephone. She wasn’t by her locker, like he’d hoped she’d be. He cracked his knuckles, watching and waiting, feeling jittery and restless. He walked over to Dean and tapped him on the shoulder. “Have you seen Persephone?”

Dean looked at him for a moment before responding. “I don’t think she’s here yet.”

“Well if you see her—” Danielle stepped into view, and Jax rushed over to her without bothering to finish his sentence. “Have you seen or heard from Persephone this morning?”

“No,” Danielle said. “Did she get away from you again?”

“We…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “We had a fight.”

Danielle raised an eyebrow. “How bad?”

“Pretty bad. You know about her boyfriend?”

Her expression went from half asleep to wide awake, eyes glowing with excitement. “
Oo
. Did he finally show up, because I’ve been
dying
to meet him.”

Jax clenched his fists, struggling—and failing—to keep the bitterness at bay.

“Sorry,” Danielle said, apparently noticing the news didn’t exactly make him happy.

“It’s my fault. I should’ve realized…” Jax shook his head. “The fight was about him, anyway. I’m not sure if she told you that I…Well, I kind of have a thing for her.”

“Actually, I told her. It’s pretty obvious.”

“You’re just full of helpfulness this morning, aren’t you?”

She offered him a pity-filled smile.

“Anyway, she left her phone.” Jax dug it out of his pocket and showed it to Danielle, like otherwise she might not know what he meant. He’d grabbed it because he figured Persephone might need it. And okay, maybe so he could find out more information about her boyfriend, even though it held nothing helpful—the only calls were to and from Dean and Danielle and a nearby pizza place. “So now I can’t get a hold of her, and I’m starting to worry.”

“You want to know where she’d go?”

He nodded. “Please.”

“I know she sometimes goes to Carrefour when she’s upset. It’s that little restaurant on Decatur. I’d try there first. If she’s not there, she might be on the moonwalk or even wandering around the square.”

Carrefour. Of course. She told me about it last night.
“Thanks.” Turning his thoughts to how he was going to get there—for the love of Zeus, this no vehicle thing was getting annoying—he turned away from Danielle.

“And Jax?”

He twisted back to face her. “Yeah?”

“I know she acts tough, but she’s had it rough. Take care of her.”

“I will. Whether she wants me to or not.”

Persephone stared into the surface of the scratched mahogany bar, where countless others had sat, trying to drink away their worries. Her head ached, and her heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vise. The fight with Jax had been awful, and the most devastating thing about it was, he was right. She wasn’t being fair to him.