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Funny, how their relationship had basically started here, on this piece
of furniture, when he‟d arrived with his cousin Deke last summer for a
seductive ménage that had quickly morphed into an explosive pairing when
Luc‟s cousin left. Would it end here, too?
“Do you want something to drink?” What was on his mind? She
needed to know . . . yet feared it.
“No, thank you.” He pulled a thick, folded document from his jacket
pocket and handed it to her. “This is yours, regardless of what happens.”
The gravity in his tone crashed to her hollow stomach. She took deep
breaths. With shaking hands, she unfolded the crisp white papers and
scanned.
“It‟s . . .” She blinked once, twice.
Seriously?
“A custody agreement?
You‟re giving me sole custody?”
“If you decide to proceed with the annulment, I‟ve asked for one week
a year and either Thanksgiving or Christmas. I think it‟s important for any
child to know his or her father. There‟s a financial support agreement as
well. I took the attorney‟s recommendation for an annual sum and added
fifty percent. I hope you think it‟s fair, but we can talk if you need more. I‟ll
never tell you how to parent. I‟ll never get in your way. I‟ll never ask you to
share more of the child than this and an occasional phone call.”
Tears came again. Not just tears, but sobs. The foundation of her life
was falling out from underneath her, crumbling, and the pain was
paralyzing. Luc was letting her go and giving her control over the life they
had created together—the child she knew he wanted more than anything.
“Why?” she managed to get out.
He closed his eyes, jaw clamped, as he fought his own tears.
“Because I love you, and I want you to know that no one will ever be more
important to me than you, not even our child.”
“But you‟ve wanted a baby for years and—”
“I have, so badly I manipulated people I love, deceived them—without
even thinking how they would be affected. And I regret that so deeply. I
never want you to believe that I married you only for the child. I was stupid
when I didn‟t tell you that I believed the baby to be someone else‟s. I can
only say I‟m sorry. I know better now.” He sighed. “I realized I wasn‟t
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lacking a baby, but someone to share my life with. Someone amazing and
strong, smart, ambitious, and wonderful. My other half.”
Alyssa sobbed harder. He meant her? He wanted her
more
than their
child?
Luc eased off the sofa and onto one knee at her feet. “I need
you
.”
“And you‟re willing to give up custody of the baby to prove it to me?”
He nodded, and the agony on his face hurt her in return. “No strings
attached. I want to stay married to you more than anything and be a family
in the true sense of the word, but not if you‟ll always have doubts about
how important you are to me.”
Oh. My. God
. Never in a million years had she expected him to give up
the child he‟d sought and schemed for. And to do it for her.
“Think on it,” he commanded softly. “If I don‟t hear from you before the
annulment is final in the next few months, then this may be the last time
you see me. And I‟ll miss you like hell. I‟ll love you. Always.”
He kissed her mouth gently. It lasted for only a heartbeat, felt like a
gossamer breath, but it impacted her heart like a battering ram. Then he
was gone.
ALYSSA paced her living room, wringing her hands.
Any minute
. . .
After Luc‟s departure Friday night, she‟d longed to call him back
immediately. The scared girl-woman inside her shouted for caution and
prudence. She‟d stayed up late and read the entire custody agreement he‟d
proposed—and signed—then left in her hands. He‟d been more than
generous and left himself minimal rights, save those he would exercise in
the event of her untimely death. He‟d also added a clause for reversion of
custody in the event she remarried to someone who turned out to be
abusive.
The fact he‟d taken her experience to heart touched her.
She‟d spent a sleepless Friday night knowing she had only two
choices: End the marriage and raise the child alone, always wondering if
she‟d made the biggest mistake of her life by leaving the man she loved, or
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embrace the future and do everything in her power to ensure their marriage
grew strong.
Luc said he loved her. Since he‟d handed her this custody agreement,
Alyssa finally more than hoped—she believed—that was true. She loved
him so much, getting through a day without him felt unbearable. Nights
were even more hellish.
Still, experience had taught her to be cautious. She‟d spent all day
Saturday thinking about her options . . . and coming back to the same
conclusion. How bleak would her future be without Luc? He couldn‟t have
apologized more eloquently, been more contrite. It wasn‟t as if she‟d never
screwed up.
Besides, she‟d gone into the marriage tentative and afraid. Failing at
lifelong commitment was inevitable without giving both heart and soul. She
hadn‟t done that. Yes, Luc had withheld his “sterility” from her, but she‟d
withheld her past with Joshua. If Luc hadn‟t accidentally scared her, would
she have ever told him her secret, ever?
She winced. Probably not.
Didn‟t she owe it to them to try this marriage for real, holding nothing
back?
She‟d called him early this Sunday morning and asked him to come
back to Lafayette. He hadn‟t asked questions, and she hadn‟t offered
information. They both knew that whatever had to be said should be done
in person.
The chime of the doorbell interrupted her musings, and she smoothed
a hand down her black wrap-around blouse, holding a palm to her
trembling insides. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door.
Luc stood on the other side, expression pensive. “I‟m glad you called.”
Alyssa nodded, trying to calm her runaway heartbeat. “Come in.”
When she stepped back, he entered. But his eyes never left hers, as if
he hoped to read her decision on her face. She looked away and walked
into the living room. Luc followed, and Alyssa could feel him at her back, so
achingly close—yet still so far away.
Please God, let this turn out happily
.
On the table beside her rested two documents. She picked up both.
“I‟ve read your custody document.”
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He hesitated; then disappointment crashed over his face. He clenched
his jaw and finally nodded. “Do you have any objections?”
“Have you read the annulment papers?”
“Yes.”
His tone gave her more hope. “You spit that out like a bad word.”
Luc anchored a hand around her waist, then brought her closer to him.
Their bodies nearly touched . . . but not quite. Then he lay his forehead on
hers, his breath tightly controlled. “It is. Ending our marriage is the last thing I want.” He took a deep breath and stepped back. “But I‟ll respect your
decision, whatever it is.”
He left everything to her, put the power in her hands. If he cared only
about himself and his chance to become a parent, he‟d never do that. Ever.
He‟d push and coerce, threaten, cajole . . . anything but let her make the
ultimate decision.
“I love you,” she whispered.
The next split second of silence terrified her, especially as both hope
and disappointment mingled on his face. What was he thinking?
“I love you, too. So much I . . .” Luc sighed and cupped her cheek. “I‟m
empty without you.”
To others, it might sound like a greeting card, but she knew exactly
what he meant. He‟d helped to heal her past wounds, fill in her tomorrows.
Luc had made her whole. If she did the same for him, she‟d rejoice and
hold him close for the rest of her days.
“Ending this marriage is the last thing I want, too,” she confessed.
To prove her point, she gripped both the annulment petition and
custody papers, then ripped them both in half. She dropped them to the
ground between them.
Luc glanced at the torn documents, then up at her. His eyes flared,
burning fiercely, as he grabbed her and kissed her as if nothing would ever
mean more to him.
Not opening to him was impossible, and he sank deep into her mouth,
the burn between them his own brand of possession. Though it had been
less than a month since she and Luc had shared a bed, the ache racing
through her after this one kiss made her feel as if it had been forever. She
needed this, needed
him
.
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Tears burned her eyes as his lips worshipped her. There would be
important events in their lives together undoubtedly, their coming child—
and maybe others someday—but Alyssa knew deep in her gut that nothing
would ever mean more to her than this moment and their love.
When he lifted his head, she looked at him and melted.
“I need you,” he admitted hoarsely. “To love you. As much as you‟ll
give me. I need to feel that you‟re really mine. Please say you want that,
too.”
Alyssa nodded. “I do.”
Caressing his cheek, she pressed her lips to his and swept into his
mouth. When he rewarded her with a slow kiss full of devotion, she
trembled.
Not even lifting his head, he laid her across the sofa, her back warmed
by the buttery leather as he covered her body with his own, wrapping his
arms around her. She felt safe, loved, as she sighed against him, desire
growing. He compelled her to touch him in return—his face, neck, taut
shoulders and back.
Soft demand filled his next kiss, seeming to reach deep inside of her to
embrace
all
of her, even the broken parts. Luc brought light to the places in her soul that had been dark since Joshua‟s attack. He made her whole
again.
His next kiss started like gossamer, then grew more urgent with every
brush of lips, every swirl of his tongue, until it was deep, hard, burning.
Alyssa couldn‟t breathe, couldn‟t think of anything but Luc and the silent
promise of devotion between them. She opened to him and gave him
everything inside her, secure that there were no more secrets between
them.
Drowning in Luc‟s hungry kisses, she trembled as he slowly removed
her top, her jeans, her frilly under things, then spread kisses all over her
body. He sucked her aching nipples, palmed her hip, stroked her needy clit.
She burned. Luc always had that effect on her. From the moment they‟d
met, Luc had impacted her as no man had.
Alyssa was dying to have the same effect on him.
With a gentle nudge, she persuaded Luc to roll onto his back. Without
a word, she removed his shoes, his shirt, his pants, and everything
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beneath. Then she was staring at his gorgeous, naked body, masculine
shoulders, rippling abs, and hard, imposing cock. She shivered, and her
mouth watered.
Kneeling beside him, she threw her hair over one shoulder and bent to
him. Luc tensed. When her tongue curled around his dick, she tasted him,
harsh and hot and so salty male. Then she took him deeper with a moan.
“Sugar, yeah,” he hissed, filtering his fingers into her hair and
anchoring against her scalp. “Damn, you‟re incredible.”
So was he.
Alyssa savored him, reacquainting herself with his body and the
pleasures of feeling him hard in her mouth. He arched his hips, sinking his
stiff flesh deeper, and she gladly took every long inch of his urgent thrusts,
loving the fact she could make him so hot.
Moments lapsed into long minutes. His need grew, and he began to
shuttle into her mouth with deeper, faster strokes, writing, moaning,
needing. He pulsed against her tongue.
Then suddenly he cursed and stopped.
“No.” He lifted her away from him suddenly, and his expression told
her that he refused to take pleasure from her, but insisted on sharing it. “I
want to be inside you, sugar.”
Yes. The sooner, the better
.
When he rose to his knees and eased her to her back, she went more
than willingly, parting her thighs for him without hesitation. Luc groaned,