Defenseless (32 page)

Mark reclines with ice packs on his face and several other areas of his body, but he doesn’t complain. He keeps his gaze on me as much as he can. He dozes in and out, and each time he awakens, he searches for me.

Hours pass and I hear nothing from Mandi. I didn’t think I would, but her silence is driving me insane. After we pinpointed exactly who was involved in Christopher’s clan, we were able to make our move. Dominic contacted someone he trusted, and the mission began. The key is for me to remain underground until it’s safe. I refuse to hand over my father’s information until I know Christopher is detained.

I sit by Mark’s side, hold his hand, and pray each time he falls asleep that he’ll wake again. We stocked this house, prepared it for whatever condition he’d be in. I never imagined he would be this bad, though. I didn’t think Christopher would ever go to these lengths. He must think there’s more in that file than just a few photos and notes in some random code.

My heart rattles around in my chest as I envision what they had to do to cause this damage. I worry about internal bleeding, broken bones, and so much more. He needs to get to the hospital, but they’ll kill us both before we get there. I have to pray I know enough to get us through the next few days.

I check my phone again, but there’s nothing. I worry about all the things that could’ve gone wrong. My type-A personality is spazzing out. I need some kind of news before I wear a hole in the floor.

Mark stirs a few times as I treat his wounds, apply arnica lotion, and ice the swollen parts of him, which is basically everywhere. The swelling goes down a little, then right back up once I remove the ice packs. After a round of clean bandages and a few hours of repeating the process, he appears a little better.

Observing him like this makes me hate myself. For the first time ever, I wish I were simply an antiquities dealer—no smoke and mirrors, no crazy job. Just a normal girl who doesn’t have a death certificate waiting on her.

Everything inside me hurts—my heart, my head, my muscles. I need sleep, but I can’t leave his side. If there’s one thing I learned, it’s that we’re stronger as a team. When we’re divided, that’s our weakness. There’s nothing more I want than to curl up in his arms, but I can’t. So I climb next to him, tangle my fingers with his, lay my head on his shoulder, and fall asleep.

I wake to him jostling back and forth. “Charlie,” he moans my name.

“It’s okay,” I say reassuringly. “I’m here, Mark. Just open your eyes.”

He opens them both, but the other closes immediately. “Tell me something only you know. I need to know you’re real.”

“I hate sharks, and you made me go in that stupid water.”

He coughs. “Tell me what vineyard we went to.” His eyes close as he fights exhaustion.

“Keswick,” I say automatically.

“Glad you remember because I couldn’t.” He smirks.

The half giggle, half cry escapes my lips. He’s still my Mark. They may have hurt him, but they didn’t destroy him. Relief floods my heart as I gaze at him. I could’ve lost him. I almost did.

“I’m sorry for all of this.” I brush his hair back as I break down. “It’s the way it had to be. I couldn’t tell you anything. I was so lost, Mark. I was so intent on finding out more about my dad that I almost lost everything. I almost lost you.” I press my lips to his shoulder as I let it all out. Years of pain and stuffing it down come bubbling up. “I didn’t want to care about you. I knew this couldn’t be good, no matter what, but you pushed me and pushed me. You made me look at you like you were everything. You have to forgive me. You have to understand why I did it.”

“Charisma.” His hand finds my wrist and he grips it. “Stop.” My lips close as he struggles to open both eyes. “What is going on with you? You’re crying, which I didn’t know you could do, and you’re going on and on about other nonsense, and you wouldn’t take the damn medication. Why are you so worried? I’m here, I’m safe. You’re here, you’re relatively safe.”

In this moment, three words fill my world. “Because I love you, and you have to love me. I can’t lose you again. I don’t want to do this alone,” I say the words and all sense of time stops. I’m afraid he won’t love me anymore. I’m afraid he never did. I’m terrified that I’ve broken my only chance at a life I never dreamed of. I don’t know how to handle all these emotions. I don’t like them, either, if I’m being honest.

“Do what alone?”

“The rest of our life.”

“Then you should know how much I love you, Charisma Erickson.” He tightens his fingers around mine. “I would’ve died if it meant you’d live. When he told me they killed you, a part of me broke. When you pushed me away, I never knew pain like that. That beating . . .” He pauses and looks away. “Was nothing compared to the day I left you.”

I know what he means. The three weeks he was away were torture. I’ve been starved and made to do unthinkable things, but not knowing how to find him was the worst time of my life. I couldn’t
do
anything. I had to sit, wait, and hope to God the others found him. Mandi, Frank, and Dominic worked every angle while I fed them clues and remained completely hidden.

“You need to rest,” I say and then press my lips to his forehead.

“Charlie,” he rasps. “You’ve been shot. You need the same thing as me.”

“It’s nothing. I’m not bleeding anymore, and I took a Tylenol. You have to stay still. You have to listen to me.”

“Bullshit. You were just as freaked out as I was. I’m in bad shape, aren’t I?”

We both know that he needs a hospital. The extent of his damages could be far worse than we know, but for now, this is keeping him alive. It’s like plugging a tire with bubblegum. I pray this will be enough until I can get him real help. As soon as Mandi calls, we’ll be on our way there.

“It’s beyond my training. I’m doing what I can, but you’re covered in bruises, I don’t know if you have any damages I can’t see.”

“That’s because I was their punching bag. I much prefer when you hit me.” He tilts his head with a sly look.

He’s unreal. Even after all of this he can still joke. “Princess,” I say with love clear in my voice. “You can’t handle my jabs.”

“You hit like a girl.”

“You act like one,” I joke. This is normal. This is us.

“I’m tired again. What the hell did you put in this IV?”

“Pain killers, vitamins, and a lot of love.”

Mark lets out a short laugh. “Look at you.” His head falls to the side. “Being all romantic and shit. Maybe you should get shot more often.”

Idiot.

The thing is that he doesn’t see how unnerving this all was for me. “You don’t know how scared I was that he shot you. I don’t get scared, Mark. I live this life, this job, and I’ve known it my whole life. It’s all I’ve ever had. But everything is changing. Everything is different. You barreled your way into my world and forced me to love you against my will.”

Mark closes his eyes and expels a deep breath. “I thought you were caught by them. I thought you were being held, beaten, and then killed. I gave up at the end. I was willing to let them kill me because I failed you. Don’t think this wasn’t hard for me, baby. Don’t think you weren’t the only one who didn’t want to love. Because you aren’t. I knew the risks, but you’re worth the reward.”

I smile as my heart accelerates. Everything inside of me beams. “I need you to make me a promise.”

“Anything.”

“No matter how hard it gets, no matter how much I drive you insane, no matter the cost, I need you to keep fighting. I need you to give everything you have to be okay.”

His eyes both flutter open. “I’ll fight to the end of the earth for you.”

“Good.” I kiss his cheek. “You should know something.”

He gazes at me with apprehension. “I don’t have a good feeling about this . . .”

“It’s not bad, per se. It’s just, well, a little . . .” I stumble on my words. How the hell do I tell him we’re having a baby?

“What the hell did you do?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you’re stuttering and have that guilty look.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

I’m not guilty. He was there for all this, too.

“I’m not the one acting like I did something wrong. Let me guess, you’re going to do something while I’m stuck here? Just like the old Charlie, so much for a team.”

Now I’m ready to punch him, but I clearly can’t. Indignation rises within, and the need to set him straight builds. I wanted to be delicate before. Now I no longer care. So, I spit it out the only way I can think of.

“No, you giant asshole. I was going to tell you that you knocked me up.”

He shifts to look at me better. “What?”

Not exactly how I planned this, but he should know. My eyes start to tear. These hormones are making me a hot mess. I close my eyelids, take a deep breath, and whisper the words, “I’m pregnant.”

I wait for some sign of emotion, some form of hostility or disappointment. The reaction any man would have to find out his girlfriend—if that’s what we are—is pregnant. I wait with nerves fluttering.

Instead, he does the opposite of what I expect. There’s no anger, accusation, or even a word. He simply looks content. Mark grips my hand, presses his lips to the top, and falls back asleep wearing a smile.

Smug little shit.

W
e made it through the night with no major issues. I slept off and on, made sure Mark was comfortable, and kept an eye on my stitches. Mark slept like a log, and that grin never left his face. He hasn’t said a word, but there’s a sense of ease around him.

When I realized I was pregnant two weeks ago, I lost it. Apparently, the due date for my next shot was wrong on my calendar. I blame Mark for keeping me away from my house for so long, along with the ridiculous amount of sex.

Of course, I freaked out and went into denial. Then something happened. I started to smile when I saw myself in the mirror. I’m having a baby. A tiny person is growing inside me, and it’s ours. I then became even further obsessed with finding Mark. Mandi had to rein me in a few times because I started acting on pure emotion, but there was no way I was explaining to our child how his or her daddy never knew. No, I was finding him.

“Hey.” Mark shifts and smiles, which causes his lip to crack open and bleed.

“Don’t smile, you’ll keep reopening it.” I grab the gauze and clean him again.

He nods as if he’ll listen. “I’ll take the pain if I get to see your face when it happens.”

“Oh, good God. Now you’re being all romantic and shit.” I laugh and use his words against him.

He grips my wrist and stops me from tending the wound. “You can’t fault me, Charlie. We’ve had a rough few weeks.”

“Yeah, we have,” I agree.

Rough doesn’t even cover it, and we’re not out of the woods yet. If Christopher escaped somehow or talked his way out of this, we’re in grave danger. Plus, we now know that Christopher has knowledge of the person behind all of Cole Security’s troubles.

I have no doubt that if they have Christopher, they’re trying to extract the information. Aaron was going to handle the interrogation since he knows the most about Mazir and has the tidbits I provided. I hope by now Mandi is digging deeper because from what I was able to find, Christopher doesn’t have children. He never married either, so this has been well concealed.

We won’t even get into the crap I’m battling from being shot, and having a critically injured man. Oh, and I’m having a baby.

Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up, which reminds me that Mark still hasn’t said a word about the baby. “Are we going to talk about this? Do you remember what I said?”

“I remember everything, Charisma.” A thrill runs through me at the sound of my name from his lips. I never imagined how it would feel to share that with someone. “You’re having my baby, you love me, we’re getting married, and we’re going to stop all the bullshit and be a team.”

“I never said the last parts.”

“Don’t,” he groans.

“You, don’t. You’re going to heal, Mark. This isn’t me being difficult. This is me saying there’s no way in your condition, you can do anything.”

He starts to move and grabs for the IV.

My hand shoots out to stop him. “Are you crazy? You’re not out of the woods.”

“I need to go to the bathroom. See if I’m pissing blood. I need to make sure my kidneys are fine. They took a beating,” he explains, and I lower my eyes.

“I should’ve gotten you sooner. I should’ve walked in there and given myself to them.”

Mark grabs my hand and squeezes. “And what? Put yourself and our baby in danger? I’d never forgive you.” He peels his lids open, and his eyes bear into mine.

“What?”

“You heard me!” he growls. “This isn’t only about you or me anymore.”

“Well, I’m not gonna just sit back while you get taken hostage and are beaten within an inch of your life. What did you expect me to do? Sit home and knit blankets? This isn’t the 1920s.”

“I expect you to take it easy.”

I huff. “Don’t get all alpha male on me now.”

His pushes his legs over the side of the bed, grips my arms, and carefully pulls me close. “I’ve always been the alpha male. I let you believe you had some say. Now that you’re having my baby, you’re going to stop this shit.”