Deep (10 page)

He laughed deep and dirty, hands sliding over my ass to lift me up. Genius. The man was a fucking gorgeous, bearded, bass-playing, oversize genius. My legs went around his waist and the smile on his face—shit. It was a total smirk. Just this once, he could have it, and for the record, it looked damn good on him too.

“Better?” he asked.

“Yes.” I attached my lips to his and shoved my tongue into his mouth and kissed the man stupid. Just like I’d been dying to do for so long.

He groaned, one hand cupping my ass, the other rubbing and caressing the back of my neck. Encouraging me or holding me in place, I don’t know. Either way, it felt sublime. What was going on between my legs, meanwhile, the hard length of his cock rubbing just so, pretty much drove me out of my mind. When had sex gotten so good? My six-or-so-year abstinence had a lot to answer for, and yet I was damn glad I’d waited.

I kissed him deep, tasting and exploring. The feel of his beard brushing against my face, the soft slip of his hair through my hands. In lieu of actual fucking, I’d done a lot of making out over the years. No one kissed like Ben, though. Though I’d started out in charge of the mouth-to-mouth, the battle was more of a draw now. His tongue slipped into my mouth, teasing and tantalizing me, turning me on even more.

I hadn’t even realized we were moving until my back hit the wall. The bathroom wall. We wouldn’t be making it to the bedroom this time, and all right, fair enough. His hand moved from my neck to fumble with his zipper, knuckles brushing against the damp crotch of my panties. Ratcheting up my excitement levels just that much more. Then his finger hooked the satin material of my panties aside and his cock was rubbing against me there. Right fucking there. Yes, yes, yes.

“Ben.”

“Lizzy. Shit. Stay still.”

“I’m trying.”

He pressed into me, the lips of my pussy giving, opening to take him. And there was a lot of him. His hips flexed and I squeaked in surprise. But it wasn’t long before we were both groaning, in both the good and the bad ways. The thick head of his cock was lodged inside of me, but going no further. Not without some serious pain, at least on my part. How damn wide was the guy?

Ben rested his damp forehead against mine, panting. “This isn’t working.”

“I’m not a virgin, it’s just been a while. It should fit!” I clung to him tighter, hiding my face in his neck. No way would I burst into tears, despite the current uncertainty of the situation within my actual tear ducts, fueled by both pain and need. How ridiculous. A hand rubbed my back in big, soothing circles.

“Shouldn’t have rushed,” he said.

I sniffed.

“Easy.” He lifted me off of him, and even that did not feel good. “’s okay.”

“I really wanted this.” I confessed into his neck. “You.”

“And you’ll have me. Shh.”

We moved again, this time into the bedroom.

“I had no fucking business being inside you without protection anyway.”

“It felt good. Until it felt bad.”

“I know.”

A hand searched for the zip on the back of my dress, tugging it down. The air-conditioning hit my skin, sending a shiver down my spine. Or maybe it was just the way he looked at me, all aggressive and tender at once. I was laid out on the mattress, Ben working busily to get me bare.

“We’re really not stopping?” I asked, lust burning bright once again. Not that it had ever really disappeared. How could it, with him around? My girl parts were sadly predictable like that.

“Fuck no.”

I smiled, wiggling and rolling this way and that, according to what would be most helpful. No hesitation. Off came my bra, the slick pointy-toed heels and thigh-high stockings, then he hovered over my fancy silk panties.

“What?” I asked, panting just a little.

Fingers stroked over the curves of my hips, my thighs. The man was probably used to models and starlets, women in no way normal. Of all times to get an attack of the nerves. I crossed my arms demurely over my bare breasts, biting at the inside of my cheek.

“Ben, what’s the problem?”

“No problem.” His gaze met mine. Then he noticed the crossed arms, covering my chest. “Don’t.”

My hands fluttered, unsure what to do.

He took hold of both wrists, bending over me to press them into the bed above my head.

“Keep ’em there,” he said, voice gruff, clipped, and eyes deadly serious. “’kay?”

“Okay.”

His hands traced down the length of my arms, over my armpits, then down my sides. The tension inside me seemed unbearable. My mind was whirling in circles, befuddled and aroused both. What was he going to do?

Thumbs hooked into the sides of my sole remaining piece of clothing and slowly dragged them down my legs. While his tickly bearded chin trailed down over my breastbone, between my pert breasts, and over my belly. Softly, he placed a kiss on my belly button, then dropped my underwear onto the floor.

“All good?” he asked.

“Y-yes.”

The man sank to his knees by the side of the bed, the palms of his hands stroking over my thighs. “Good.”

Without further preamble, he grabbed my hips, dragging me to the edge of the mattress to meet his waiting mouth. And yes, my legs were spread, they were wide open. With his head in the way, they had few other options. The feeling of his hot, eager mouth on my pussy … there were no words. Or at least, none sufficient to sum this up.

“Fuck. Ben.”

My back bowed, head pushing into the mattress. The pleasure was bigger than my body could contain. Every ounce of my consciousness was focused on the fast-building buzz between my legs. My heels pressed against his back through the fine material of his fancy dress shirt. He wrapped his arms around my thighs, holding me to him. As if I wanted to get away. His tongue dragged through my sex, lips sucking and teeth almost biting. Everywhere he went his facial hair followed, making my nerve endings tingle and my tummy tighten. Too much and not enough and give me more. Every now and then he’d give me a warning nip somewhere, such as the sensitive join of body and thigh, like I needed a reminder regarding who was in charge.

Who was doing what to whom.

He ground his face into me, eating me, going wild, and it felt fucking amazing. Mind-blowing, breath-stealing. Everything. I got it now. Beards were the best. His tongue was like a lick of heat, his lips silken smooth and so damn strong. That beard, however. Holy shit. Too many sensations, too much, and all I could do was take it. The man was damn skilled, but I didn’t want to think about how many women he’d practiced on. Forget that. Only now mattered.

I was so damn wet. He slid two thick fingers into me, working me inside and out. My whole body tensed unbearably tight, until it seemed like I might shatter. Just explode into chaos and love-struck confusion. Then he flicked his tongue back and forth across my clit, stopping to suck at it every other time, lips encasing my swollen, completely overexcited sex.

I couldn’t take it any longer. My whole body went
boom.

I came with a shout, eyes open wide but unseeing. He’d colored my world in sparkles. Multitudes of little flashy lights, filling my mind and lighting me up. I just floated, lost in the feel-good chemical haze he’d induced. The mediocre to bad sex I’d had during my juvenile, idiotic, wild phase didn’t even begin to compare. Nothing in common with how Ben worked my body. The pleasure he gave me. Damn he was good at oral. Scarily so.

When the haze of blinky lights faded, he was busy pulling his shirt off over his head. Apparently undoing the buttons would have taken too long. He wiped off his mouth, dark gaze glued to me all the while. Next he toed off his boots and ripped into the pants—belt, button, and zip. Plain black boxer briefs outlined a monster of a hard-on. No wonder it wouldn’t fit. And the way he looked at me, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to take a bite out of me or what. I don’t know. But his gaze slipped over me so warmly, belying the hunger in his eyes.

Then the boxers went down and he was climbing over me, hooking an arm around my waist to drag me back into the middle of the bed.

“Are we going to—”

“Yeah,” he said, then tore open a condom wrapper with his teeth. One-handed he rolled it on, the slippery, smooth latex rubbing against me between my legs.

“Good. That’s … that’s good.”

His moist lips covered mine, kissing me hard.

“Trust me,” he said, positioning the broad blunt head of his cock against my opening.

I nodded.

“Legs and arms around me.”

“Yes.” I did as told, wrapping him up tight.

“That’s it, sweetheart,” he murmured, flexing his hips.

His lips played with mine, tongue licking my jaw, my neck, as he worked his cock inside of me. Arms encircled my head and his beautiful face was so close, bristly cheek resting against mine, teeth nipping my ear. Now that I was plenty wet, things went smoother. But still, he was not a small man. He felt good, but … substantial. Thick. It might take me a while to get used to him.

And there weren’t enough words to explain how I wanted to get used to him, in all the ways.

“Wait.” I squirmed beneath him, tilting my hips to take him deeper. “Oh god, yeah. Like that.”

“There?” He surged forward, filling me, his hips pressing me deep into the mattress. I sighed and he moaned, his pelvis shifting restlessly against me.

“Yeah.”

“Fuck you feel good,” he said, face buried in my hair. “So fucking good.”

I flexed my thigh muscles, tightening my hold on him. Given half a chance, I’d never let him go. In return, he groaned, easing back to thrust forward again, slow and easy. The motion smooth and precise. Ben fucked me so sweetly, working himself deep into me in sure, steady strokes. Accustoming me to his presence. His body trembled with the effort, sweat dripping off his brow. I’d never experienced anything more perfect than being in bed with him. Being the focus of all his attention.

It was like we were each other’s whole world. Nothing else existed beyond the bed.

His mouth took mine, his hand slipping down between us to explore where we were joined. Fingers caressing the stretched lips of my sex, just above my still sensitive clit. I gasped and he smiled, adjusting his angle slightly so he rubbed against it. He fucked me harder then, pushing me up and up toward climax once more.

“Ben,” I panted.

His arms tightened, caging me in, keeping me safe. A hand slipped beneath my ass cheek then traveled up my leg, sliding over my sweaty skin. He grabbed ahold of my thigh, hard, fingers digging in. The familiar ecstatic tension spread through me, completing me. It was out of control. Everything about sex with Ben was out of control. The way his hard chest rubbed against my breasts and the single-mindedness in the way he watched me, gauging every response. His big body covered me, his cock filling me. Pleasure was the only possible response.

I came, shuddering, biting into his shoulder. I shook and shook, and he held onto me even tighter. He drove himself deep and came, one hand in my hair and the other still wrapped around my thigh.

Nothing could ever compare.

Ben collapsed beside me. He hit the mattress so hard I bounced into his side and stayed there, curling up against him. It took a while for the world to stop spinning, for us both to catch our breath.

My insides buzzed. Hell, my whole body buzzed. I hid my face in his skin, grinning like a fool. How incredible for me and him to be in the same bed doing the postcoital bliss thing. I’d been this happy, this certain of something, precisely never in my life. It wouldn’t be easy but it would be worth it. Mal and Anne would adjust, because eight years was nothing, really.

I rolled onto my side and snuggled into him. The dude had more than enough body warmth for both of us in the cool air-conditioning. Then, from somewhere close, came a buzzing.

Ben stirred, reaching down to snag his cell from the pocket of his jeans before tossing them aside. When he saw the name on the screen his whole body stiffened. The buzzing went on. His thumb slid across the front of the cell and he held it to his ear.

“Hey.”

A faint voice from the phone.

“No, no. I dropped her back at her room.”

More from the caller.

“For fuck’s sake, man. When will you get it through your head nothing’s going on? Girl’s not my kind.”

My heart stuttered. It hurt.

“Ha-ha. Yeah, fuck off. Go back to your bride. I’m heading to a bar uptown. Shilly’s playing. Said I’d join for a while.”

More talk.

“Yeah, I’ll tell him you said hi. Later.”

Above me, the ceiling swam blurrily, my vision wavering. Silly me, always so surprised. When would I learn?

“Were you ever going to tell him?” I asked quietly.

“What?” Ben sat at the side of the bed, head in his hands. He was just having a moment, the sex had been intense and so on. All of us processed emotional moments in our own sweet way. “You want a drink or something?”

“No. I want the truth.” Strangely calm, I sat up, tugging the sheet with me. All of a sudden being naked didn’t seem like such a smart idea. “Were you ever planning on telling Mal about us?”

“We only just finished having sex. The man’s on his honeymoon. It’s his wedding night. You really want me to get into it with him right now?”

“No. What I’m asking is if you’re planning on getting into it with him ever.”

Ben looked away, wiping his face with a hand. “It’s complicated.”

“Yeah. But I’m not sure you lying to him helps.”

“And I’m not sure me telling him I just banged his little-sister-in-law would help, either,” he snapped. “Shit. Liz, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know. It’s complicated.” My voice seemed so small.

He looked back over his shoulder at me, face guarded. “Wait…”

“It was an accident. You got jealous when you saw that guy with me in the bar, overheated. I get it.”

“I didn’t mean—”

“You never do.” Without further ado I rolled off the bed, taking the sheet with me. “I’d like you to leave.”

“Lizzy.” It was right there on his face and in his eyes. The set of his shoulders shouted it, and those curled fingers just reinforced everything. Regret.