Dear to Me (29 page)

 “Here, kitty. Let me see what’s in your mouth,” Mama said, reaching for the cat.

 Melinda didn’t know who was more surprised, her or Mama, when Snow dropped the wad of paper at Mama’s feet.

 “Well, what do you know—she listened to me for once.” Mama bent down and picked up the paper, pulling it apart with her fingers and laying it flat on the table. “Now, what is this?”

 Melinda froze as her gaze came to rest on the item in question. It was the results of her failed GED test.

 Mama’s forehead wrinkled as she studied the piece of paper; then she looked pointedly at Melinda.

 “I—I can explain.”

 “I certainly hope so.”

 Melinda moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue. “Uh—as you know, Dr. Franklin thinks I have a special way with animals.”

 Mama nodded.

 “He believes I would make a good vet or certified veterinarian’s assistant.”

 No response.

 “And…well, he suggested I take the GED test, which I would need in order to sign up for some college classes.”

 “You want to go to college and become a vet?” Mama’s voice sounded calm and even, but Melinda could see by the pinched expression on her mother’s face that she was having a hard time keeping her emotions under control.

 “As you can see by the scores on that paper, I failed the test.”

 “Does that mean you’ve given up the idea?”

 Melinda toyed with the handle on her teacup. “I–I’m not sure. I’ve thought about retaking the test.”

 Mama released a sigh. “And you’ve been planning all of this behind your daed’s and my back, sneaking off to take the test without ever saying a word about it?”

 Melinda’s eyes filled with tears as a wave of shame and regret washed over her like a drenching rain. “I was planning to tell you.”

 “When?”

 “After I passed the GED test.”

 Mama grabbed two fingers on her left hand and gave them a good pop. “Have you thought about what it would mean if you went off to college and got a degree? Have you thought about how it would affect everyone in this family?”

 “Of course I have, and it wouldn’t be easy for me to leave.” There was a tremor in Melinda’s voice, and it was all she could do to look her mother in the face.

 “After all the things I’ve told you about my life as an entertainer, I wouldn’t think you would even consider becoming part of the English world—not when all your family and friends are Amish living here in Webster County.” Mama sniffed deeply, and her quivering chin let Melinda know she was close to tears.

 Melinda stared at her untouched cup of tea. “I—I don’t really want to leave home, Mama, but becoming a vet would allow me to care for so many hurting and sick animals. If I have a special way with animals, as Dr. Franklin says I do, then wouldn’t it be wasted if I didn’t learn how to care for them in the best possible way?”

 “I guess you’ll have to choose what’s more important to you—the animals you think need your help, or your family and friends who love you so much,” Mama replied without really answering Melinda’s question.

 Melinda blinked against the tears blurring her vision but made no comment.

 Mama leaned across the table and looked at Melinda long and hard. “I’m not saying these things to make you feel guilty. I just don’t want you to make the same mistake I did when I left home.” She slid her chair back and stood. “Please know that as much as I would hate to see you go, I won’t try to stop you. It’s your life, and you will have to decide.”

 Melinda felt as if she were in a stupor, and seeing the distressed look on her mother’s face only made her feel worse.
I should have told Mama sooner—maybe even had Dr. Franklin talk to her and Papa Noah. I shouldn’t have let her find out by seeing my failed GED test. That could have been avoided if I’d burned the silly thing.

 “I…uh …need to check on my animals in the barn,” she mumbled, pushing away from the table.

 When Mama made no reply, Melinda rushed out the back door and headed straight for the barn.

Faith let her head fall forward until it rested on the table. She’d held up well while Melinda told of her plans, but now that Faith was alone in the kitchen, she could allow herself to grieve. How could this have happened? It was like reliving the past, only this time it wasn’t Faith wanting to leave home; it was her own precious daughter.

 Stinging tears escaped Faith’s lashes and dribbled onto her cheeks. “Like mother, like daughter,” she murmured as a burning lump formed in her throat. “My selfish desires and wayward ways have come back to haunt me.”

 “Faith, what’s wrong? What are you mumbling about?”

 Faith’s head jerked up. Noah stood staring down at her with a look of concern. She had been so caught up in her sorrow over Melinda that she hadn’t heard him come in.

 She rushed into his arms. “Oh, Noah, I don’t know how to tell you this, but we’ve lost our daughter to the world!”

 Noah pushed Faith gently away from him so that he was looking directly at her. “What are you talking about? How is Melinda lost to the world?”

 Faith drew in a shaky breath and quickly related about Melinda taking the GED test, failing it, and wanting to leave the Amish faith and become a vet. When she finished, she gulped in a quick breath of air and collapsed into a chair at the table.

 Noah took the seat beside Faith and reached for her hand. “No wonder our daughter’s been acting so
fremm
lately. I’ll bet she’s been planning this for some time.”

 Faith nodded. “I thought Melinda’s strange behavior was because she was upset over her and Gabe breaking up. I should have realized with her unhealthy preoccupation over animals that something more was on the wind.” She sniffed deeply. “Oh, Noah, this is all my fault.”

 “How can it be your fault?”

 “If I hadn’t been so hard on Melinda, always scolding her for spending too much time with her animal friends, maybe she wouldn’t have become discontent. Maybe—”

 “Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Noah gently squeezed her fingers. “We’ve both gotten after Melinda, and neither of us figured she’d ever want to leave home to become a vet.”

 Faith blinked against another set of tears. “What are we going to do? How can we keep Melinda from going English?”

 Noah let go of her hand and slipped his arm across her shoulders. “The best thing we can do is try to be more understanding and not push Melinda to do what we want. We also need to pray that the Lord’s will is done.”

 She nodded slowly. “Would you at least speak to her about this? The two of you have always had a special bond, even before you and I were married. If anyone can get through to our daughter, it will be you.”

 “I’ll do what I can, but I won’t press Melinda on this or try to make her feel guilty.”

 “I wouldn’t expect you to.”

 Noah pushed back his chair and stood. “Whatever Melinda decides, she needs to know that we still love her.”

 “Of course.” Faith sniffed. “I’ll always love my little girl, even if she does leave home.”

As Noah headed for the barn, he prayed that God would give him the right words to say to Melinda. He knew if he said the wrong thing, it could drive her further away and might make her want to leave out of rebellion, the way Faith had done when she was a teenager and thought her folks disapproved of her joke telling and yodeling. If Faith had only known back then that it wasn’t her jokes or yodeling they disapproved of. It was the fact that she’d fooled around and shirked her duties so often.

 When Noah stepped into the barn a few minutes later, he found Melinda inside one of the horse stalls brushing the mare’s mane.

 “Hi, Papa Noah,” she said, glancing over at him as he approached the stall. “Did you just get home from work?”

 He nodded. “I went into the house to say hello to your mamm first and found her sitting at the kitchen table quite upset.”

 Melinda dropped her gaze to the floor, and her hand shook as she set the brush on the edge of a nearby shelf. “She told you then?”

 “Jah.”

 “Papa Noah, I—”

 “Why, Melinda? Why did you keep your plans a secret from us? Wouldn’t it have been better if you’d told us right away?”

 “I—I didn’t want to upset you or Mama. And since I haven’t passed my GED test yet or made a definite decision, I saw no point in talking about what I might want to do.”

 Noah leaned on the stall door and groaned. “I know you have a special way with animals and would probably make a good vet, but have you thought about how your leaving would affect this family—your mamm most of all?”

 Melinda nodded slowly as tears slipped from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. “It’s affected my relationship with Gabe, too. That’s the main reason we’re no longer a courting couple.”

 “Did you ask Gabe to leave the Amish faith with you?”

 “Jah, but he doesn’t want to.” Her chin quivered. “I guess he doesn’t love me enough to want to be with me.”

 “Maybe Gabe feels the same way about you.”

 Melinda lifted her gaze to meet his. “Oh, Papa Noah, I feel like my heart’s being torn in two. I do love Gabe, and I love my family, but if God has blessed me with a special talent to care for sick and hurting animals, shouldn’t I be using that talent to its full extent?”

 Noah grimaced, unsure of how best to answer. Just as he enjoyed working with the fledgling trees at Hank’s tree farm, he knew Melinda enjoyed working with the animals that came into Dr. Franklin’s clinic. Even so, they were just animals, and he didn’t understand why she would choose a career that would take her away from her family just to help animals who couldn’t really love her in return. And to give up her Amish faith and become part of an English world she barely remembered made no sense to him at all.

 He stepped inside the stall and drew Melinda into his arms, knowing a lecture was not what she needed right now. “I want you to know that your mamm and I will be praying that God will reveal His will and show you what you’re supposed to do.”

 “I’m praying for that, too,” Melinda said in a shaky voice.

 Noah patted her back then stepped out of the stall. As he left the barn, he made a decision. He would not mention the subject of Melinda leaving home again. Not until she was ready to give them her choice.

Chapter 27

O
n the first day of deer hunting season as the Hertzlers sat around the breakfast table, Noah instructed Melinda and Isaiah to stay out of the woods.

 “But, Papa Noah, N
O
H
UNTING
signs are posted all over our property,” Melinda reminded him.

 “That’s true,” he said with a nod, “but there’s always someone who either doesn’t see the signs or refuses to take them seriously and hunts wherever he pleases.”

 “Your daed’s right,” Grandpa put in. “I remember when I was a boy someone shot a deer right out in our front yard.”

 Melinda gasped. “I hope the deer on our property will be okay and stay where it’s safe.”

 Isaiah grunted. “Like you can keep all the deer safe, Melinda.”

 “I can sure try.”

 “No, you can’t. The deer have a mind of their own, and—”

 Noah nudged Isaiah with his elbow. “Why don’t you eat your breakfast and quit being such a
baddere
to your sister?”

 “I ain’t bein’ a bother.” Isaiah wrinkled his nose. “She’s just verhuddelt, that’s all.”

 “I’m not confused,” Melinda shot back. “You’re the one who’s verhuddelt.”

 Noah lifted his hands as he shook his head. “Enough of the squabbling. You two are worse than a couple of hens fighting for the same piece of corn.”

 Grandpa chuckled, but Isaiah and Melinda both sat frowning, staring at their bowls of oatmeal.

 “Do like your daed says and eat before your food gets cold,” Faith said sternly.

 Melinda pushed back her chair. “I’m not hungry. If nobody has any objections, I think I’ll go out to the barn and see how my animals are doing.”

 Noah’s patience was beginning to wane, but he figured if Melinda wasn’t hungry he couldn’t very well force her to eat. “Go ahead to the barn,” he said. “But be sure and come back in time to help your mamm do the breakfast dishes and clean up the kitchen.”