Dark Spirits (23 page)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Paige

I ran all the way to Cannon Beach, wiping the tears from my eyes so I could see the road ahead of me. The image of Cassondra kissing Nathan stayed frozen in my mind, like a scene in a movie stuck on pause. I wanted to scream “Why?” but my ragged sobs stole my voice.

How could Nathan have done this to me? I just didn’t get it. I knew he loved me, and what we had went far deeper than the ocean.

Something flipped inside me, and all of a sudden I wanted to turn around, go back and confront him. I wanted him to answer those questions. But then I felt like screaming again and the desire to face him left me as quickly as it came, making me realize my feelings were going haywire.

Stupid, immortal emotions.

But right now I couldn’t rein them in. It was just too much. My mind did a loopback on why he would he cheat on me? I bet the phone call earlier was Cassondra, and he had the nerve to act like it was somebody else. Oh, he had to pick up my surprise.

Yeah. Right.

He probably already had it tucked away somewhere and then made up that bullshit excuse so he could see Cassondra. He may not love her, but it was obvious she could appease him in ways I couldn’t.

When I reached Cannon Beach, dotted lights flickered in the distance from quaint cottages and bonfires. Fortunately, this part of the beach appeared to be vacant, but even if it wasn’t, I’d still stay. It may seem silly, but I felt close to my parents here.

I jumped on the same craggy rock I stood on when I’d released Mom’s ashes. There was a round indentation in the center. I sat inside it and hugged my arms around my legs, resting my forehead against my knees and bawled. The cool breeze brushed along my bare arms and through my hair, causing me to shiver. The gentle sound of the waves rushing against the shore and rocks briefly soothed me with its tranquil rhythm. I could smell and taste the sea salt on my lips or was it tears?

Paige. It’s not what you think!
I quoted Nathan in my mind. But what was I supposed to think? Cassondra kissed him. Granted, his arms hadn’t been around her–they’d been by his side. But he didn’t stop her, not until I’d made a sound, busting him in the act. So what other way should I have taken it? If Brayden tried kissing me, I’d pull away from him, like I’d done earlier. And yeah, I had feelings for Brayden, but I have never acted on them because I was in a committed relationship.

Was.

That tiny insignificant word felt like a hot poker on my heart. I clutched my arms around my chest and rocked. I never thought a word could have such an impact on me. But then again, I’d never thought a lot of things would happen, and they had.

I tilted my head back and gazed at the moon, a beautiful bright orange color, reminding me of the coming harvest. Silently, I asked it what I should do? I didn’t want to go home. Although, I knew I had to. I had no money or my driver’s license. But then what?

My gaze dropped to the ocean. A tail the same color as the moon snaked across the inky surface. In the distance a shrimp boat bobbed. Like me, it was all alone, adrift in the sea of life. It had two choices: do nothing and see where the tides would take it or decide on a destination and take charge. Those were also my choices. I could sit back, hoping things would turn out fine or move on and take control of my life.

This was
my
life, and I’d be damned if I was going to sit around, brokenhearted, waiting. I took a deep breath and ran my hands over my face, holding my hair back. I couldn’t allow Nathan’s deception to destroy me. I had the power of Solomon’s ring. I couldn’t ignore or put it aside because it never rests, not even for my shattered self. I needed to find the incantations, but first I had to find out where they were. No. Actually, what I needed to do first was to get some of my things without bumping into Nathan, then go somewhere where I could meditate or do a rite of consciousness. Maybe my psychic ability would aid and direct me in the right direction. One could only hope.

But Nathan.

I buried my face in my knees, crying again. I couldn’t imagine life without him. But how could he love me so much yet share his body and warmth with somebody else? To me, the body was a sacred thing, and when you shared it with somebody, it meant something special. I knew if I told Carrie that, she’d giggle at me. She’d call me a prude, for sure. To her, having sex with different people was no big deal, just as long as both parties weren’t cheating, and they were responsible. I guess I could see her point, but I didn’t know if I could ever be like that. But I guess Nathan was and didn’t seem to care about monogamy.

I rolled onto my side and curled into myself, whimpering and sobbing at the same time.

I didn’t want to be with anyone else. I wanted Nathan.

But Nathan wanted both worlds. Why wasn’t I enough? Maybe I wasn’t sexy enough because I didn’t have long legs like Cassondra, and I wasn’t blonde. Maybe in his eyes he saw me as innocent and pure, and he didn’t want to defile me with his obscene cravings.

My cries turned into wet hiccups, and I went into a coughing fit. I pushed myself into a sitting position and wrapped my arms around my stomach. Leaning over, I coughed harder. My face and head felt like they were going to explode from the pressure of hacking, and my throat felt like hot sand. My stomach muscles began to ache.

I couldn’t picture Nathan being like that. I just couldn’t. But I also couldn’t turn a blind eye from what I saw.

Paige. It’s not what you think!

A weird barking noise came out of my mouth as I coughed and gasped at the same time. I couldn’t breathe. Red and purple dots danced before my eyes. I knew I needed to calm down before I passed out, but I couldn’t get air into my lungs. My throat felt tight–really tight.

And then I heard an unfamiliar voice.

“Relax, Paige. Listen to the surf and
become
it. Feel yourself touching the shore, slowly releasing your breath, then drawing it back in. The rhythm is continuous–slowly releasing and inhaling.”

The voice came from a far distance, and although I didn’t recognize it, I did what it said. A minute later, I could breathe again. I tried to swallow and grimaced. Then my ears rang, alerting me the voice had to be a dark spirit. I leaped off the rock and saw a man dressed in blue jeans and a white button-up shirt casually walking toward me. He had an arrogance in his stride, and the way he carried himself clued me in on his identity.

The “old one.”

My body jerked when the thought of fleeing entered my mind, but my curiosity got the best of me, so I remained where I stood, watching him. And to be honest, I wasn’t afraid. He needed me, and I knew he liked me. Also, this would be the first time I could really talk to him as him, and I wanted to see if I could get any information out of him. I remembered the first time I confronted him. We were in history class, and I told him I
knew
who he was. When I’d told Nathan about it and that I wanted to talk to the “old one” some more, Nathan was totally against it. But now, it didn’t matter since we were no longer together.

“Nice to see you again, Paige.” The “old one” smiled, revealing perfect white teeth.

A gust of cool air rose between us, swirling my hair about, causing it to stick to my drying tears. I swiped a hand across my cheeks, pushing my hair back. He stood a few feet away and looked genuinely pleased to see me. I tried not to imagine him as a dark, sinister being, but it didn’t help when his blue eyes glowed. I glanced away, but then drew myself up, squaring my shoulders. If I were going to do this right, I had to be strong and not scared or intimidated by him.

“You must have a penchant for tall, dark-haired, blue eyed guys.” I made a sweeping gesture at him.

“Absolutely. I do admire those attributes in a human male. It seems women do as well.” He gave me a coy look. For a second my mind flashed on Matt giving me the same look, teetering between seriousness and humor. I wondered if it was the “old one’s” true personality or just a facade.

“When you were
borrowing
”–I made air quotes with my fingers– “Matt’s body, was that your personality, or um . . .” His eyes were smiling at me, and I had a creep factor moment. “Don’t look at me that way.” I pointed at him and scowled. “It gives me the heebie-jeebies.”

He laughed. “You’re the only one who has ever said such a thing to me.” He sounded delighted, which seemed weird to me considering his true identity. Shouldn’t he be offended instead of amused?

“Really?”

“Yes. I do enjoy how forthright you are. It’s refreshing.” He paused and ran a hand along his chin, looking thoughtful. His features softened, and a friendly expression settled on his face. “To answer your question . . . yes, my persona is the same. However, I modified my vocabulary to fit the age and environment of the vessel.”

I could hear his arrogance seeping into his tone and thought of him
adapting
enough to date Carrie. It was because of
him
Aosoth was able to possess Carrie, which still pissed me off.

I glared. “Why did you go out with Carrie?”

“I’m quite fond of her.”

I let out a sarcastic laugh. “You
used
her so you could trick her into opening her body to Aosoth.” I hadn’t thought about it in a while, but now that I did, I instantly became furious. Without further thought, I stepped into his space and shoved his arm back. “You had
no
right to do that.”

“I agree,” he said, massaging his arm, his eyes filled with humor.

I balled my hand into a fist, resisting the urge to punch him in the face.

“There was a justifiable reason for it though,” he said, “and I took every precaution to keep Carrie safe.”

“I don’t care. What you did was wrong.”

“Right and wrong is a matter of perspective, Paige. Was it immoral for men to go on suicide missions in World War II to annihilate their enemy? Or lead your ailing dog, who trusts you immensely, out to the field and shoot him in the head to put him out of his misery? I needed to remove Aosoth from this world for a while, and I knew unbeknownst to Nathan, he’d assist me in that manner, if she were to hurt you. I also was certain he wouldn’t hurt Carrie because of your love for her.”

My head spun. Everything that happened the day I became immortal had been preplanned, and I had a sneaky suspicion Anwar had something to do with it. I mean, how would the “old one” know when Nathan and I were going to be at Nathan’s house, unless Anwar told him? And then I remembered when Aosoth stuck the knife blade to my neck, and the “old one” pushed her hand away and told her to stick to the plan. I wondered what plan Aosoth thought they were sticking to, unaware the “old one’s” plan was to get rid of her for a while.

“Who
are
you?” I blurted when the thought crossed my mind of how devious and skillful that whole plan was.

“My name is Bael. And at the present moment, you don’t need to know anything else.”

I rolled my eyes and sucked my teeth in annoyance. He could continue with the secretive crap and play his stupid little chess board games, using people as pawns, but I wasn’t going to take part in it. “I’m not going to help you find those incantations, so you can forget it.”

The corner of his eyes crinkled as he stared at me, not bothered by what I just said, as if he knew I would do it, regardless of my unwillingness. He straightened his back, bringing himself to his full six-foot-two height. His shoulders were broad. He lifted each one in turn a few times, like he was testing them to see if they worked. Then he observed his hands. They were strong, callused, with some dirt beneath the nails. He scowled. “If I’d known this vessel had these rough hands, I wouldn’t have chosen it,” he murmured.

I didn’t say anything because I liked guys with strong, rough hands. When Nathan became immortal, his hands were like that from working on the farm, and they remained the same, except for the calluses.

Bael looked up, his gaze finding mine. “You remind me of a stubborn child, refusing to eat her vegetables. She may not like the taste, but in the long run, those vegetables will help create a healthy body for her.” He paused long enough for me to see his eyes glow again, but I didn’t waver and continued to look at him. “You may refuse to find those incantations for me, but eventually you will relent, once you realize how better off this world and others will be.”

“Brayden told me he agrees with you,” I said, just to see what he would say.

“Brayden is a clever guy, and I have to say, much more suited for you than Nathan.”

A sharp, stabbing pain went through my heart at the mention of Nathan. I looked away, trying to get a handle on my emotions. I knew Bael favored Brayden over Nathan, and of course he’d say Brayden was a smart guy. But if Brayden disagreed with him, it would be a different story.

“Well, Brayden is not your lap dog”–I turned to him, hoping I appeared stronger than I felt– “like Ayperos and Anwar, so don’t even think about doing a blood oath with him.”

He raised his hand and waved it in the air as if he were swiping at a swarm of nats. “You don’t have to concern yourself with Brayden. He’s only loyal to two people in this world–himself and you. I’m well aware and respect it.”