Dark Side of the Moon (27 page)

And before he realized what he was doing, he was speaking to her about his nightmare. “It's always the same memory…” he whispered. “I'm meeting Isabeau by the lake where I first saw her. She was a merchant's daughter in the town that wasn't far from our village. She and a small group of her friends had been picnicking when my brothers and I were passing through. They'd waved to us, and Dorian had headed for them.”

Ravyn could still see that day so clearly in his mind. It'd been an absolutely perfect warm spring day. The three of them had ridden to town for supplies and were on their way home. He and Dorian were on horseback while Phoenix drove the cart.

The women had been laughing and drinking wine … a
lot
of wine. Before Ravyn and his brothers had ridden by, the women had been bathing in the lake. Then they'd climbed out to sun themselves on the banks. Half-dressed in soggy chemises that kept falling off their bare shoulders to expose their better assets and giddy from their play, the women had actually catcalled to him and his brothers.

But he left those details out of his story as he told it to Susan. “Since Phoenix was mated, he'd gone on ahead while Dorian and I joined the women. They offered us food and wine.” And other things best left unsaid. “I don't know why, but I was instantly attracted to Isabeau. There was something about her that seemed more vivacious than the rest of her companions.”

Susan felt an inexplicable stab of jealousy at his words. She didn't like the idea of him cavorting with another woman. But she didn't say anything while he continued to talk.

“After it started getting late, the women packed up to return home. So Isabeau and I made plans to meet again in a few days. Alone.”

“You were on the make.”

“Yeah, and she wasn't a virgin.” He gave a short, bitter laugh. “She was a woman with a hefty appetite and I didn't mind being her main course.”

Susan had to force herself not to yank a hank of his hair at that.
Bastard.

But then, he'd paid dearly for his dalliance with the little tart. It was something Susan wouldn't wish on her worst enemy.

Ravyn took a deep breath before he continued. “One thing led to another and the next thing I knew, we'd set up our meetings fairly regularly.”

She frowned at his words. “Weren't you afraid of making her pregnant?”

“No. Weres can't have children with anyone but their mates. Since we weren't mated, there was no chance of that.”

Susan would give him that, but pregnancy wasn't the only thing to be concerned about. “Not to be rude, but what about STDs? Given how quickly she threw herself at you, weren't you afraid she'd give you a gift that kept on giving?”

He snorted. “No. Again, my people can't get those diseases. Our magick keeps us immune from the rest. The only human diseases we share are cancer and common colds.”

Lucky you.
Susan had to bite back the sarcasm. She didn't want him to pull away while he was telling her his story. “So how long did the two of you keep meeting?”

“About four months. And after a while, I was really infatuated with her. She kept asking me to marry her and I kept putting her off.”

“Because she wasn't your mate?”

“Exactly. There was no point in bringing her into my world when she couldn't really be a part of it. And I didn't want to tie myself to someone who wasn't my mate. I used to have this stupid idea that one day I'd have a mate and kids and live happily ever after.”

Susan's heart jerked at the hurt that underlined those words. “It's not such a stupid idea, Ravyn. You know a lot of people have the same exact thought.”

“Yeah,” he said in a tone that told her he thought those people were fools. “Anyway, when the mark finally appeared on our hands, I thought it was too good to be true. She'd been telling me for months that she loved me. I wasn't sure if I loved her or not, but I enjoyed her company so I proposed as soon as I saw the marking. Isabeau was scared, of course. She thought it was the mark of the devil and I tried to tell her not to worry, but she ran off before I could explain it.”

“You went after her?”

“No,” he said to her surprise. “Something in my gut told me to leave her alone … she'd been really hysterical before she took off. So I went home and that night my mother saw the mark on my palm and asked me about it. I told her the truth and tried to make her understand just how distraught Isabeau had been. She assured me that Isabeau was just taken by surprise. And that I owed it to both her and myself to tell her the truth about who and what we were. She was sure that a woman who loved me would accept the truth of it and join us.”

He rolled over onto his back to stare up at the ceiling. She could feel the guilt and anger inside him, reaching out to touch her heart. “You have no idea how much I wish I could go back in time and change that night. It's probably why Artemis stripped the ability to time travel from me. God knows, it eats at me constantly and I'm sure if I could, I'd go back and do something stupid.”

Susan rubbed his arm soothingly. “Is that what you dream of?”

He turned his head to meet her gaze. “In part. I always see my mother as she urged me to go to Isabeau and bring her back to our village, and then it shifts to the night I became a Dark-Hunter. I keep seeing Isabeau's terrified face in my mind as I killed her father while she screamed and cowered in a corner.”

She hesitated to ask the next question, but she wanted to know the answer. “Did you kill Isabeau, too?”

“Yes.”

Susan pulled back at that as her heart hammered. She'd seen Ravyn in action, but even so she hadn't thought that he could be
that
cold.

He winced as if he could still see the past. “While her father died, Isabeau found some courage. She grabbed a short sword from the wall and ran at me with it. I wasn't armed so I tried to dodge her swing, but she caught me across the arm with the blade. Acting on instinct, I knocked her away from me and cupped my arm. She stumbled back into the hearth and dropped the sword as the tail of her dress went into the fire. I reached for her to help her, but she bit me and went running for the open door as the fire spread up the back of her gown. As I ran after her, more of the men came between us and attacked me. By the time I'd killed them, it was too late for Isabeau. I found her lying in a heap not far from her cottage. As I rolled her over, I realized she was still alive. Her eyes flared as she saw me, then she spat in my face and died in my arms. I can't get the sight of her burned face out of my dreams. The hatred in her eyes as she spat on me. I keep thinking that I should have somehow known how it would all play out. That I could have done something to save all of them.”

“It wasn't your fault Isabeau was stupid.”

“No,” he said, his dark eyes burning into hers. “She was just a woman of her time who was convinced I was the devil out to steal her soul. I should have never touched her.”

“But then you wouldn't have found your mate.”

“Yeah, and what good did it do me to find her?”

He did have a point. Sighing, Susan squeezed his hand in hers. “I'm sorry, Ravyn. Everyone deserves to have someone who loves them.”

By his face she could tell that he didn't agree with that. Instead of hating Isabeau for her ignorance and stupidity, it was obvious that he hated himself for setting it all into motion. How she wished she could ease that guilt from him. But there was nothing she could do. He would have to learn to forgive himself someday.

“What about you?” he asked quietly as he played with her fingers.

“What about me?”

“Did you ever love anyone?”

Susan bit her lip as her own regret and sadness gnawed at her. “No. Not really.” And it wasn't from lack of trying on her part. She just couldn't seem to find anyone who was in sync with her. Someone who could make her laugh.… Someone she wanted to grow old with. “At least not like you read about in books or see in movies. I've always wondered what it would be like to be swept off my feet by some sexy stranger. To have that one person who I can't imagine living without come into my life and make me his.” She sighed wistfully as an image of it happening played through her mind. Oh, what she wouldn't give to have that feeling just once in her life.

“Yeah. It's such bullshit.”

“No,” she said seriously. “It does exist. I saw it with Jimmy and Angie. They were so in love that there were times when I would have to leave the room to get away from the jealousy I felt. It wasn't that I begrudged them their happiness, it was just hard to see them so happy while I had no one in my own life.”

Susan felt a sad smile play at the edges of her lips. “When I was a little girl, I remember going to see
Urban Cowboy
with my mom. Remember the scene at the end when John Travolta punches out the bad guy for hurting Debra Winger and then carries her outside? I always wondered what that would feel like.”

His callused fingers continued to play with hers. “Well, considering the fact that he doesn't carry her out at the end, that would be hard.”

Susan started at his words. “What?”

“She gets carried outside at the end of
An Officer and a Gentleman.
Not
Urban Cowboy.
Bud and Sissy walk out arm in arm at the end of that one.”

“Oh.” Susan frowned as she thought about that. He was actually right and she was amazed that he knew that. She turned to give him a chiding stare. “By the way, I find it fascinating that you know this.”

His grin was wicked as he moved her hand to his chest while his thumb stroked her palm and sent little waves of pleasure through her. “Don't. Remember that I live with a girl who's recently gone through puberty. Erika watches those movies over and over again and then cries and carries on for hours about how men like that don't exist and how we're all insensitive pigs who should be neutered.”

Susan laughed. She could just see Erika tirading against poor Ravyn, who would most likely look completely baffled by the attack. “You know, she's amazingly astute at times.”

“Thanks.”

She rolled her weight playfully into his side. “I was just teasing.”

“Sure you were. Admit it, you agree with her.”

“Some days,” she joked. “After all, you guys are a little self-absorbed at times.”

“Yeah, like we're the only ones.”

Susan paused as she realized just how comfortable she was with him. She hadn't teased like this in a long time. And it felt really good. Licking her lips, she stared at their joined hands and wondered if Ravyn even realized what he was doing.

Ravyn's breath caught in his throat as he saw the tender look on Susan's face. As dark as the room was, he knew she couldn't see him all that well, but he had a perfect view of her face. And she was beautiful. Her blue eyes were tinged with dark circles, but they in no way took away from her angelic features. Her long blond hair was a complete mess and yet he'd never seen anything sexier in his life.

In that instant, he knew that he should get up and sleep somewhere else, but he didn't want to leave her. She'd been right, talking about his nightmare had made him feel better. A
lot
better. The haunting images were gone now, replaced by her hesitant smile and her gently teasing voice.

And deep in the back of his mind was the question of what his life would have been like if Isabeau had been more like Susan.…

Without thinking, he cupped her face in his hand and watched as she closed her eyes to savor his touch. Her skin fascinated him with its softness. Before he could stop himself he leaned down and captured her lips with his. The taste of her invaded every part of his body. Her kiss was tender and precious, and there in the darkness it chased away the shadows of his past and eased the pain that had lived way too long inside him.

Susan sighed as she tasted Ravyn. His whiskers chafed her skin and prickled her lips, making them both itchy, but still she didn't want to give up that mouth. There was something about him that she wanted to possess. Something that addicted her in a way she wouldn't have thought possible.

Her heart pounded as he left her lips to nibble his way down to her neck. Chills spread through her. His fangs gently nipped her skin, which had been made sensitive from his whiskers. She wrapped her arms around him, delighting in the way his muscles rippled and bunched under her hands as he moved. It felt so good not to be alone in the darkness. So good to just hold someone, but especially this man who'd protected and comforted her.

Desire pooled itself to the center of her body as she reached out for him. But as he shifted, his hair fell into her face.

Her nose started burning immediately as her eyes watered and she sniffed. Then she sneezed.

Ravyn let out an irritated breath as he pulled back. “You really are allergic to me, aren't you?”

She gave an extremely undignified sniff. “Only to your hair.”

“Fine then. I'll shave it off.”

“Don't you dare.…” She caught herself and the heated intensity of her voice. “I mean…”

His eyes gleamed at her with humor. “I know what you mean.”

Susan cocked her head as his hair was immediately gathered back from his face into a ponytail without either one of them touching it.

“How did you do that?” she asked in awe.

He winked playfully at her. “Magick.”

And before she could speak again, he returned to her lips to kiss her blind. Her body burned as he lifted up her shirt and exposed her stomach. He dipped his head down to tease her skin with his fangs. She shivered and groaned at the sensation of his hot lips on her cool skin. Nothing had ever felt better.

Ravyn growled at the taste of Susan. He wanted to bathe in her scent. To roll himself all over her until she coated every part of him. And when she reached down between them to cup him in her hands, he actually saw stars from it.