Dark Secrets (57 page)

I flung my door open
to a dark room, slamming it shut with my heel. “David?”

“
Ara.” Dad waltzed in
without even knocking, and flicked on the light.

“
Dad? What’s up?” I
quickly checked around my room.

“
Just wanted to say
goodnight.” He smiled warmly, resting his shoulder on the
doorframe.

“
Oh. Well, you
should’ve knocked, Dad. I was just about to get
changed.”

He looked at my
clothes, his eyes going wider. “Oh, I’m sorry, honey. I forget
you’re all grown up now.”

“
It’s okay.” I walked
over and gave him a quick hug.

He kissed the top of
my head, patting my hair, then stood back. “I’ll see you in the
morning.”

“
Night,
Dad.”

“
Night,” he said
again and closed the door.

I spun around a few
times, but the quiet emptiness of my room remained the same. Maybe
David was waiting until my parents actually went to sleep. So, I
took a shower, washed my hair, and slipped into my nice pyjamas—the
ones that actually matched—then jumped into bed to keep warm in the
cooling air.

The cold turned to
frost and my tired eyes felt sandy by the time Dad and Vicki
finally shut their door. Then, with a stealthy silence that even
the cat on the end of my bed didn’t pay attention to, David slipped
through my window, lifted the covers and snuggled down beside me,
pulling me onto his chest.

“
Hello,” I
whispered.

“
Hello.”

“
Mmm.” I breathed him
in deep; he smelled sweeter than he did before—a more concentrated
version of his scent, kind of like a Terry’s Orange Chocolate
treat. “What’ve you been doing? You’re all hot and you smell so
nice.”

“
Do you really want
to know?”

“
Were
you…hunting?”

“
Would it bother you
if I was?”

A minute’s silence
passed in a second. “I’m not sure.”

“
Just don’t think
about it, sweetheart.” His long fingers swept my hair back over my
forehead, leaving behind a warm sensation under the tingling
cool.

“
So, that smell—it’s
the blood you just had?”

He laughed a little.
“Kind of. It’s how my body
interprets
the blood, which is
unique for every vampire.”

“
I like
it.”

“
That’s because you
like me.”

“
So, it’s also why
you’re so warm all of a sudden, then?”

“
Yes.”

“
Then, why are your
hands cold when the rest of you is so warm?” I traced a line over
his index finger.

“
Because it’s cold
outside. I’ve been waiting for your dad to go to bed.”

“
Why? He wouldn’t
have known you were in here.”

“
I wouldn’t be so
certain about that, my love.”

“
Mm. I like it when
you call me that.” I smiled and slipped my fingertips under David’s
shirt, resting them on his belly. “I like it even more in
French.”

“
I know,” he
said.

“
How do you know?”
I’ve never let
myself think that around you.

“
Your body
temperature changes when I speak French.”

“
Hm.” My eyes
narrowed with a disapproving grin. “I’m not sure I like
that.”

“
Don’t fall in love
with a vampire, then.” He kissed the top of my head.

“
Okay. I’ll remember
that next time.”

“
You had better,” he
said, sounding a bit English. “Staying human to be with a human is
one thing, but if I ever find you in the arms of another vampire,
I’ll turn you myself.”

“
Duly noted.” I
kissed his chest, smiling to myself. “So, what did you say when you
were leaving tonight—when you said ‘Until then,’ and added a whole
string of words I doubt were in English?”

He laughed once,
combing his fingertips gently through the front of my hair. “Until
then, you are in
all
my thoughts.”

“
And then you went
hunting?”

“
Yes.”

“
Do you think of
me…when you hunt?”

“
Sometimes.” He let
the word hang for a minute then added, “But not in the way you
might think.”

“
In what
way?”

“
I imagine you with
me, enjoying the uh…the life of a vampire.” He paused and lifted
his head off the pillow a little to look at me. “Does that bother
you?”

Hm, does it?
“Not in the way you might think.”

“
In what way,
then?”

“
I’m not sure.” Maybe it bothered me that I couldn’t really
picture him when he was gone. I mean, if he were human, doing human
things, I could picture him at home, on the couch, watching TV or
eating dinner with his uncle. But no, my boyfriend had to go into
dark alleyways and stalk my species. I didn’t
want
to picture myself beside him,
enjoying the…kill. I had tried a few times before, but it never
felt right. My mind would always go back, standing on the
sidelines, seeing his victim; the way he’d hold her, pinning her
down like he did to me when I tried to scream that day, seeing how
he’d bring his lips close to her flesh, and my blood would run hot,
watching, but not because I wanted her to die, because I
wanted…

“
Ara. Stop
it!”

“
What?”

“
I can see that. I
can see what you’re thinking.”

The blankets rustled
under me as I sat up to look at David, blinking to focus in the dim
moonlight shining through my window. “Does it bother you? I mean,
is it because I can picture it, or is it because I picture it
wrong?”

“
Neither of the
above.” He grinned.

“
Well, what
then?”

“
It’s because you
were picturing the victim—as you.”

I meshed my lips
together. “Oh. I was, wasn’t I?”

“
That’s it, isn’t it?
What you were trying to tell me in the kitchen tonight?” David sat
up and grabbed my arm, squeezing it gently.

“
Um…”

“
Ara? Is that what
you were trying to say—you want me to drink your blood?” His eyes
narrowed on the inner corners, his lip lifting over his teeth on
one side.

Without a word, I
lowered my head and nodded, letting my drumbeat heart fill the
empty silence that surrounded my awkwardness.

“
I’ll never do it.”
He dropped my arm and sat back.

“
I’m sorry.” My eyes
stayed on my knees. “Is it…is it bad of me to think that
way?”

“
Yes.”

Oh
. The awkward silence grew fatter and shrunk in around me.
“It’s just that—” How could I explain this?
“It’s just that there’s this strange pull…urging me toward
you in a different kind of way. I—I want to feel your teeth against
my flesh, I—”

“
Ara, stop
talking.”

“
But, why? I
just—”

“
Ara. I said stop
talking.” David stiffened.

It’s not fair. You
never let me finish my sentences.
I knew
it was wrong, and I felt really ashamed of myself, but at the same
time…it excited me—the thought, the idea of giving him what was
mine—to know it’d warm him and make him smell sweet, to know I’d
truly be a part of him.

“
Stop it!” David
disappeared.

My mouth hung open.
“What did I do?”

“
You can’t think like
that around me, Ara, it’s dangerous.” He leaned against my dresser
with his arms folded. “I will never do that with you, so get the
idea out of your head.”

Humiliation and
rejection tightened my chest muscles, spreading heat through my
limbs until it spilled out over my cheeks.

“
Ara, don’t cry.” He
appeared on the bed, wrapping me in his arms. “Please, I’m sorry. I
just—”

“
What’s wrong with me? Why wouldn’t you want to do that
with
me
?”

He took a deep breath
and smoothed my tears from my cheeks. “It’s not that I don’t want
to, mon amour. There are just so many reasons not to.”

“
Like?”

“
Well, I’d have to
cut you, for one, and I can’t use my venom to numb the flesh
first.”

I stopped blubbering
and looked up from his shoulder. “We could cut where no one would
see?”

“
How will that be any
different? I still have to cut you.”

“
I
don’t care. Something’s happened inside me, David. I feel confused
about it all, like, it’s really gross when I think about it—the
idea of drinking blood—but when I
feel
it—” I placed my hand in the
centre of my chest. “It just feels so right.”

“
I know. And, believe
it or not, it’s only human to feel that way,” he said, and his
breath brushed my cheek. “You’re instinctually drawn to me—to my
bite.”

“
Why?”

He shrugged. “Surely
you’ve watched documentaries on animals and insects that kill by
luring their prey?”

“
Yeah.”

“
Well, that’s why you
feel the desire to be bitten. It isn’t real, Ara, which is another
reason I will never share blood with you.”

“
But…you’re not using
lust as a spell now, are you?”

“
No. Of course
not.”

“
Then…why do I still
want you to drink my blood?”

Beneath his smile, his
white teeth gleamed; my eyes traced the sharp edges of his fangs
and the straight lines of the front teeth. “Maybe you’re more like
my species than you care to admit.”

I frowned. “What do
you mean?”

“
I mean—” He sat up a
little. “Okay, look, it’s a very intimate act—blood sharing.
It—”

“
Wait!
Sharing?”

“
Yeah.”

“
Sharing? For
real?”

“
Yeah.”

“
As in, like, I can
drink yours?”

“
Yeah. Of
course.”

“
But—” I pointed to
my neck. “You don’t bleed.”

“
I do
bleed.”

“
But I tried to…I
mean…I actually tried to cut you open when I bit you. You didn’t
break.”

“
You…” His eyes
widened, his head rolling forward into the cloud of disbelief. “You
tried to cut me?”

“
Yeah.” I
grinned.

He coughed out the
shock with a smile. “It won’t work. If I were to share blood with a
human, I’d have to make a cut myself—for them to drink
from.”

“
Oh, okay.” I looked
at his neck more carefully.

“
Stop thinking about
it, Ara. We can never do that.”

“
Why?”

“
Because it…it leads
to other things, okay? Not to mention, it’s seen as a bit bizarre
to do it with a human you don’t plan to kill.”

“
Why?”

“
Because…”

“
Because?”

“
Because it just is.
I’m not going into detail, Ara. You don’t need to know anything
else about my world. Now just drop it.” After a long pause, David
took a deep breath through his nose and let it out. “I’m sorry,
Ara. Okay. I just don’t want to taint you any further than I
already have.”

I sniffled. “You’re
repulsed by the idea of doing it with
me
.”

“
Repulsed?” His jaw
jutted forward. “Not in the slightest. Sweetheart, sharing blood
with the one you love is one of the most intimate exchanges of
passion. Lust and desire mean nothing in comparison to blood
sharing. God knows I want to do that with you. I just—”

“
Just?”

“
Just…I won’t.
Okay?”

My mouth filled with
saliva. I swallowed it down. “I wish I knew what you tasted
like.”

David released a
short, breathy laugh. “Well, I’ve been told it’s a little like milk
with too much sugar.”

“
What do you mean by
told
?”

“
I’m pretty old, Ara.
I have been with other—”

“
Wait!” I held my
hand up. “Don’t go there.”

He laughed. “Okay, I
won’t. If you promise to drop this blood sharing thing.”

I looked down at my
hands. “Are you afraid you might kill me if we did it?”

“
I don’t
know.”

“
Are you picturing
it?” I asked playfully.

“
I’m trying not
to.”

I watched his eyes, so
lost to thoughts I wished I could be a part of. “Why don’t we just
try it, like, maybe a small cut at first—just to test?”

“
Look. Stop it,
okay?” He firmly planted his hand to my shoulder. “I’m not going to
hurt you like that. I really love you too much to bear the thought
of you being in pain—especially just to please me.”