Darcy's Passions (30 page)

On their appearance, Elizabeth blushed, but she made both gentlemen a curtsy before returning eagerly to her needlework. Mrs. Bennet warmly welcomed Bingley, offering him her favorite chair and refreshments. Barely civil, she acknowledged Darcy only by name. He moved to the side where he could see both Elizabeth and her elder sister. Jane Bennet looked a little paler and more sedate than he expected; but she received them with tolerable ease and appeared to be accepting of Bingley's presence at her home. If Jane Bennet held no resentment, Charles stood a chance with her. Darcy wished her sister would show him some preference.As far as he could tell, Elizabeth ventured only one glance in his direction. He wanted to be alone with her, to hear her voice, to see her smile; he wanted only to profess his continuing love. Instead, he swallowed hard and forced himself to say,“Miss Elizabeth, may I inquire about the health of your aunt and uncle?”

“They are well, Sir,” she stammered.

“I am pleased to hear it.”

“They were,” she tried to look at him, but, in reality, she spoke to the floor, “so pleased with Pemberley. My uncle still speaks fondly of enjoying the sport he found there.”

“He will always be most welcome there.”

Before the conversation could continue, however, Mrs. Bennet
interrupted with a declaration of the benefits of having a married daughter so well situated.The mention of Wickham's name sent a shiver down Darcy's spine with the remembrance of the circumstances in which he found Wickham and Lydia. Too mortified to look at Darcy, Elizabeth notably stiffened as Mrs. Bennet asked Mr. Bingley if he read the wedding announcement in the news; however, Darcy could not force his eyes from her.

“I did see it; may I offer my congratulations,” Bingley replied. Darcy did not join the conversation for fear his tone would betray his thoughts of George Wickham.

Mrs. Bennet lamented Wickham's removal to Newcastle. “Mr. Wickham has been stationed in the North. I have no idea when we might see our dear Lydia again.” Darcy, had she known, rejoiced in Wickham's removal.The commission he purchased for his former friend was under a very strict commanding officer, and Darcy hoped the officer would break Wickham's insolence. Mrs. Bennet's next remark offered another cut leveled at Darcy.“Thank Heavens, he has
some
friends, though perhaps not so many as he deserves!”
If Mrs. Bennet only knew what Wickham truly deserves
.

Her words forced him to once more turn his back on Elizabeth's family in order not to respond to the woman, but if he looked at Elizabeth, he would have seen her shame. His having to bear her mother's feeble command of social graces made her miserable, and she could hardly keep her seat. Seeing him thus treated forced her to exert herself and speak, “Mr. Bingley, do you plan to stay long in the country?”

Her words reached Darcy as nothing else could; even the simplest phrase added to the image he drew of her.The words she said did not fascinate him; it was the way she responded to each situation—how she knew him—had known he needed her at that moment to deflect her mother's attention. He turned back to add to
his portrait
of Elizabeth Bennet.

Nervousness echoed in Bingley's response; Darcy for a moment forgot he should also observe Miss Bennet's reaction to Charles.“I hope to stay several weeks, Miss Elizabeth—for the shooting. Several
weeks would be most gratifying.” Bingley hesitated as he shot a quick glance at Jane Bennet.

Both Elizabeth and Darcy saw how Bingley's response to Elizabeth's question affected Jane Bennet. Darcy wondered why he never saw the admiration she held for Bingley before. Elizabeth glowed with seeing the spark between Jane and Bingley being rekindled. Darcy wished she would look at him with such persuasion. Elizabeth tried to protect him from her mother but was that because she feared further censure of her family or because she had feelings for him?

When Bingley and Darcy rose to take their leave, Mrs. Bennet issued an invitation to Mr. Bingley for dinner in a few days' time. “You are quite a visit in my debt, Mr. Bingley, for when you went to town last winter you promised to take a family dinner with us as soon as you returned. I have not forgot, you see.” A less civil invitation was also issued to Darcy. “Of course, you may join us too, Mr. Darcy.”The gentlemen were shown to the door.As the Bennet family gathered around, there was no way for Darcy to speak to Elizabeth again. His bow and her curtsy were all they could manage.

 

Arriving back at Netherfield, Bingley felt ecstatic, his hopes secretly coming true. Jane Bennet did not turn from his attentions as he successfully engaged her over and over. She smiled at him, laughed lightly at his attempts at humor, and made eye contact with Charles repeatedly.

Darcy, on the other hand, felt misery. Elizabeth appeared uneasy from the beginning; she answered his questions, and her voice got stronger with each response, but she barely looked at him and offered him no encouragement. His hopes were overturned as scenes from previous encounters at Netherfield and Hunsford flashed before his eyes.
You were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed upon to marry. . . . I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly. . . . I have every reason to think ill of you. . . . Had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner . . . .
All the old insecurities returned. Would he never be able to make her love him? He
thought positively when they were alone at Pemberley, but here she was so different. How was he to judge her sentiment? Maybe he should leave.The feel of the hand she offered him to be helped into her uncle's carriage said otherwise; the backward stare as they departed said she cared; the touch of the petals of the boxwood rose said she believed in constancy. Which images? Which images should he believe about Elizabeth Bennet? He would wait until after the dinner. Possibly, it was the shock of his being at Longbourn. Possibly, she was embarrassed by her mother's actions. Possibly, she was more concerned with Jane's welfare. All of these possibilities were characteristic of Elizabeth. He would try to be calm and allow things to take their course. Darcy would wait to see if she was different at the dinner; then he would decide whether to leave or not. Besides, he could assess Jane Bennet's estimation of Bingley before he confessed his deceit. He told himself all these things. Surely, if Elizabeth cared for him as he hoped she did, their hearts would find each other before long.

 

Several of the Bennet sisters welcomed Bingley and Darcy upon their entrance to Longbourn. Elizabeth took their greatcoats and briefly greeted Darcy with a hint of a smile and an obligatory curtsy.When they repaired to the dining room, Darcy hoped to be seated close to Elizabeth, but finding himself seated instead close to Mrs. Bennet dashed those hopes. Bingley found his seat near Jane Bennet; oh, for such pleasure with Elizabeth! He could hear nothing of what she said. Only once did he notice her attentions toward him. It was when Bingley placed himself next to Jane; Elizabeth gave Darcy a triumphant look, and he bore it with presumed indifference. The dinner included venison and soup. Darcy attempted to make conversation with Mrs. Bennet by complimenting her on the serving of partridge as part of the meal. She clearly made a statement with the menu, and his good breeding required he take notice, but he would rather take notice of her second daughter's eyes. Generally though, Darcy spoke very little to anyone at the table.

He hoped for the opportunity of some conversation with Elizabeth as the evening progressed; all he needed was a few moments alone. He would ask her to meet him privately, and then he would ask her once again to marry him. Useless and mundane time was spent in the drawing room with the gentlemen; he was anxious to return to the ladies. When the gentlemen entered the drawing room, Darcy planned immediately to approach Elizabeth, but she served coffee to the guests and was surrounded by ladies who appeared to be protecting her for they stood close by. He moved toward her, but one of the girls moved in closer, taking on a conspiratorial stance. He, therefore, took his cup and walked away to another part of the room.

The evening went badly, but, eventually, Darcy brought back his coffee cup. Elizabeth, thankfully, seized the opportunity of saying, “May I inquire about Miss Darcy?” She even forced herself to look at him.

“Georgiana is at Pemberley with Mrs. Annesley. She will remain there until the Festive Season.”

“Then her friends have gone to Scarborough?”

“They have, Miss Elizabeth.” Darcy was barely able to utter the words; her beauty enthralled him.

“I am sorry we could not dine at Pemberley as we had planned.” She struggled to express her regrets.

“Georgiana and I
both
regretted your sudden departure. We hope to see you at Pemberley again.”
Did she understand the double meaning of his words?

The conversation staled at that point. Searching for something more to say, he stood by her, but what he wished to tell her could not be done so in public. He wanted only a few minutes' conversation with Elizabeth again, and he would be satisfied if only the opportunity occurred.The girl still listened in, and Darcy eventually walked away.

That was the last of their conversation for he was relegated to a table of whist at Mrs. Bennet's insistence; Elizabeth sat at a different table. Darcy's mind always searched for her rather than paying
attention to the game, making him play poorly. When the others began to leave, Mrs. Bennet tried to keep them for supper, but their carriage was ordered, and Bingley and Darcy were soon on their way to Netherfield.

 

Bingley rejoiced in the progress he made with Miss Bennet although he guarded his feelings from Darcy; memories of Darcy's censure of Miss Bennet required Bingley to be cautious. He wanted to retain Darcy's friendship, but Bingley also desired Jane Bennet's affection. Despite his own misery, Darcy knew the time for telling Bingley the truth neared, but he could not do so this evening. His own heart was breaking as he wrote a quick passage to his sister.

When Bingley entered the morning room, finding Darcy dressed for a journey surprised him. “Darcy, do you plan to leave Netherfield today?”

“I do, Charles.”

“Why? Are you not satisfied at Netherfield? I know country
society does not appeal to you, but I hoped you would find it more pleasurable this time.”

“Charles,” Darcy established the tone of what he had to say, “would you please join me at the table? I have something important to tell you.”

“Darcy, you sound so serious.” Bingley walked cautiously to the table and slid into a chair.

“Charles, I am not leaving Netherfield because of country society. In fact, I learned my lesson; some parts of the country can be very appealing.” The ambiguity of Darcy's speech confused Bingley. “I do have business to address in London, but that is not my main reason for leaving. After I say what I have to say to you, you will desire my going.”

“Darcy, this speech lacks sensibility; I could never turn away a friend such as you have been to me.”

“I have been a poor friend, indeed, Charles. You trusted me unwisely.”

“Darcy . . .?” he began, but his friend stopped him with a raise of his hand.

“Please, Bingley, I must say this while I still have my nerve. I gave you a disservice.” Bingley sat unresponsive, not sure where this conversation led. “I conspired with your sisters last fall to separate you from Miss Bennet; I did so because I considered you to be my best friend, and I believed at the time Miss Bennet was indifferent and did not desire your affection, but that is no excuse for what I did to you.”

“Darcy,” Bingley got up to pace the room,“am I to understand you kept me from Miss Bennet with some sort of lie or deceit? How could you? You knew how I felt about her.You hurt me, and what is worse, you hurt her!”

“Bingley, you are right to be so upset. I am without reason; my conceit at thinking I knew what was best for you is unforgivable.” Darcy, eyes lowered, sat dejected, realizing he ruined his relationship with Charles Bingley. Several minutes passed before Bingley spoke again.

“Darcy,” Bingley tried to steady his voice,“I am not sure how I will be able to forgive you, but I must assume some of the blame, this much I know. My nature is too changeable.What you did, you did for me, and I allowed it to happen. I should have returned to Netherfield as I planned to do; I have known that for a long time.”

Darcy let out a deep sigh, knowing how much he hurt his friend, but his conscience would not allow him to tell his friend only half-truths. “Bingley, you are good to offer your absolution; yet, I have something else to confess.”

Bingley's face showed he was seeing Darcy for the first time. Turning back and gritting his teeth, he said,“Please continue.”

“Miss Bennet was in London last winter for nearly three months; she stayed with Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner. Miss Bennet sent word to Caroline and even called one day. Caroline, with my permission, gave Miss Bennet a cut by not returning the visit for many weeks. She led Miss Bennet to believe you were interested in Georgiana. I was aware of her being in London, but I told you not. Again, I saw you fall in and out of love so often I did not judge your affections to be so constant. Since the time I realized you and Miss Bennet were meant to be together, I have tried to bring you back to one another.”