Darcy's Passions (10 page)

“And I you,” Bingley responded. “We were on our way to Longbourn to deliver an invitation to my ball, and, of course, to inquire on Miss Bennet's health.”

“I am nearly fully recovered,” Jane Bennet extended her regard in his direction.“I am honored by your concern.”

Elizabeth rejoined, “Gentlemen, may I present our cousin Mr. Collins.”

Darcy totally focused on Elizabeth's face during this exchange, memorizing every line and every gesture. He now diverted his
attention to those others in the party. There was Jane Bennet and two of the younger Bennet sisters; a militia officer, Mr. Denny, was in attendance too.The man identified as the Bennet cousin, Darcy noted, was a somewhat pudgy clergyman. Then his eyes fastened on the third male member of the group. Shocked, Darcy felt revulsion run through him. It was George Wickham! He was here in Hertfordshire—his former friend! The man whom he hated the most in this world stood on the streets of Meryton talking casually to the woman he found most exciting.What a twist of fate this was! How could God send him such a trial? The maligned feelings must have been obviously written on his face for he noted the surprise in Elizabeth's eyes as she observed Darcy's and Wickham's silent exchange. Wickham recovered from the initial revelation quicker than did Darcy.With a smirk, he tapped his hat in an extemporaneous greeting. Darcy's repugnance would not allow his returning the greeting; instead, he stiffened from the contemptible display and spun Cerberus away from the group.

 

Bingley's horse finally came abreast of his, but Darcy did not look at his friend for several minutes. “Darcy, what is wrong?” Bingley asked most gingerly.

Swallowing his anger, Darcy turned to his friend; speaking sternly, “Bingley, do you remember your promise to repay me ten times over if I stayed for your ball? Hopefully, you meant what you said for I am going to call in your debt. Please promise me the gentleman we met on the street just now with the Bennet sisters will not be a guest at your ball.”

“Which gentleman, Darcy? Mr. Denny? The clergyman?”

“No, Bingley,” Darcy steeled himself, “the other one, George Wickham.”

“Anything, Darcy,” Bingley considered his friend.“I planned to issue a general invitation to Colonel Forster's officers, and Mr. Wickham, according to Miss Bennet, will be joining the militia here in Meryton, but I will let the colonel know Mr.Wickham is not welcome at Netherfield.”

“Thank you, Bingley,” Darcy released some of the tension he felt upon the encounter. “I know this is an unusual request, and I am not at liberty to explain all of my objections to Wickham. I will only say I have known him since my youth. His father was my own father's steward, but Wickham betrayed my family's trust in him upon several occasions.”

“Even without your explanation, Darcy, I would meet your request.Your objection to the gentleman would be enough censure for me. I respect your opinions on such matters.”

 

In the solitude of his room, Darcy could not conceive how Wickham could be in Meryton. Every time he thought himself to be free of Wickham, the man rose from the ashes. It was unbelievable this spurious man could insinuate himself into Darcy's life once again.Was he here in Meryton because he knew Darcy was here? That was impossible! He could not have such knowledge. He was probably in the country because of some indiscretion he committed in the city. Leaving gambling debts and broken hearts in his wake,Wickham's infamous reputation followed him.
Broken hearts? Could Elizabeth be Wickham's newest triumph?
Darcy felt as if someone struck him in the stomach, the ache deep and painful. For once, Elizabeth's poor connections gladdened him.That might save her from Wickham's notice; normally, he preferred women with a substantial inheritance.

When Bingley and his sisters called at Longbourn later in the week to inquire once again on Miss Bennet's continued recovery, Darcy declined to accompany them. He feared because of the younger Bennet sisters' propensity for military officers he might find Wickham among the guests of Longbourn. No, he would bide his time until after the Netherfield Ball, and then he would quit Hertfordshire,Wickham, and Elizabeth Bennet.

 

Realizing today would probably be the last time he would see Elizabeth, Darcy began to feel his resolve fading all over again. He wanted to leave her with a positive regard for his behavior toward
her; he could not stand to believe she would think poorly of him. With that thought, he decided to request a dance at the ball this evening. After all, he still owed her an apology for his snub at the assembly. Recognizing her worth by honoring Elizabeth with a dance—a dance with a man of his standing—should go a long way in making amends. Of course, having the opportunity to converse with Elizabeth for half an hour, to feel the warmth of her hand, and to gaze into her eyes had nothing to do with his decision. He convinced himself he simply wanted to apologize properly.

 

Darcy's anticipation increased dramatically as he waited impatiently for the Bennets' arrival. He debated whether to approach Elizabeth for the first dance set, but he decided against it. Bingley's neighbors could easily misconstrue his escorting her into the church and then requesting the first dance. He would wait until later in the evening.

Dressed in a white, Empire waist muslin gown, Elizabeth's appearance took on classical lines. Beaded hairpins reflected a halo quality, and Darcy gulped for air as he witnessed her entrance into the drawing room. He watched as she circulated about the room, obviously looking for someone in particular. Of course, he hoped the person might be he, but it was not to be. She briefly acknowledged his polite inquiries but quickly moved on to find her friend Charlotte Lucas.

As the dance began, the pudgy clergyman came forward to claim Elizabeth's hand. Darcy watched with initial amusement as Mr. Collins, who obviously thought himself to be adept on the dance floor, spent most of his time apologizing instead of attending and often moving wrong without being aware of it. Such a disagreeable dance partner should not be wished upon anyone. Collins's ineptitude would amplify Darcy's prowess later; however, Elizabeth's distress and mortification became so severe, it was all Darcy could do to not interfere and replace Collins in the set somehow.

Elizabeth next danced with an officer, and then she returned to Charlotte Lucas's company. Darcy decided it was now or never, and
his approach took her by surprise.“Miss Elizabeth, may I apply for the pleasure of the next dance?” he said as he bowed to both ladies.

“Mr. Darcy, I . . . I . . . I would be pleased.”

Not wishing to allow her the opportunity to change her mind, Darcy took his leave, but when the dancing recommenced, he returned to claim her hand. As they took their place in the set at the top of the line of dancers, a place of prestige, Darcy could not help but hope the uniqueness of the situation impressed Elizabeth; her neighbors recognized the honor he bestowed on her; he only danced with Bingley's sisters up until this point. Singling her out made a statement to the amazement of all who observed it.

As the dance began, Darcy planned to make amends for his earlier cut, but within her presence, he found himself to be embarrassed by those actions and was tongue-tied. She broke the silence first, commenting on the dance as they waited their turn. He replied and again fell silent. “It is
your
turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. I talked about the dance, and
you
ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples.”

He smiled. “Tell me what you most desire to hear, and I will happily comply.”

“Very well.That reply will do for the present. Perhaps by and by I may observe that private balls are much pleasanter than public ones. But
now
we may be silent.”

He nearly laughed out loud. She obviously demanded the long overdue apology, but he would make her wait a few more moments to take her by surprise when he did offer his amends. Instead, he said,“Do you talk by rule, then, while you are dancing?”

“Sometimes. One must speak a little, you know. It would look odd to be entirely silent for half an hour together; and yet, for the advantage of
some
, conversation ought to be so arranged, as that they may have the trouble of saying as little as possible.”

So, she noticed his bias for silence.Was Elizabeth suggesting he did not enjoy their conversations? “Are you consulting your own feelings in the present case, or do you imagine that you are gratifying mine?”

Taking a jab at Darcy's haughty humor, she responded, “Both, for I have always seen a great similarity in the turn of our minds. We are each of an unsocial, taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak, unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room and be handed down to posterity with all the eclat of a proverb.”

The verbal warfare was back. God, he missed this foreplay during the ten days since they last spoke! He would not let her win this skirmish, though.“This is no very striking resemblance of your own character, I am sure. How near it may be to
mine
I cannot pretend to say.You think it a faithful portrait undoubtedly.”

They were again silent until they went down the dance. He did not like the coolness the turn of the conversation took.Wanting to lighten the tension their need for dominance created, Darcy tried to steer the interplay in a different direction. “Do you and your sisters often walk to Meryton?”

“Yes, we do,” she added.“When you met us there the other day, we had just been forming a new acquaintance.”

Darcy's heart stopped; she was speaking of Wickham. He knew Elizabeth saw the exchange between the two of them. Wickham had, most likely, spoken of their relationship to Elizabeth; of course, he would not tell her the truth of their dealings. Darcy discovered jealousy at Wickham's intimacy with Elizabeth after only a few days' acquaintance. He could barely control his feelings when he next responded to her. “Mr. Wickham is blessed with such happy manners as may insure his
making
friends—whether he may be equally capable of
retaining
them, is less certain.”

“He has been so unlucky as to lose
your
friendship,” replied Elizabeth with emphasis, “and in a manner which he is likely to suffer from all his life.”

Darcy made no response. His anger came close to taking control of his tongue as well as of his mind; he searched for another subject. He did not want to spend his precious time with Elizabeth speaking of his worst enemy.

At that moment, Sir William Lucas cut through the set. “Mr. Darcy, may I compliment you on both your dancing and your
choice of partner. It will be my pleasure to see you repeat your choice in the near future.” Sir William gestured toward Bingley and Jane Bennet. Obviously, the Netherfield neighbors already spoke of the likelihood of upcoming nuptials. Sir William insinuated Darcy and Elizabeth would often, therefore, be thrown together.

Darcy barely heard what Sir William said, his attention drawn to Bingley and Miss Bennet. A force hit with the seriousness of the situation. Darcy realized he was so enamored with Elizabeth he did not try to stunt Bingley's growing attraction for Jane Bennet. He planned to leave Hertfordshire soon, but Bingley took up residence here. He could not allow Bingley to be so foolish; Bingley would quickly learn to regret Jane Bennet's bad connections.

The second dance approached; his time with Elizabeth grew short, and he still did not make his excuses to her. Recovering himself, he turned back to his partner and tried to reestablish some sense of dialogue. Elizabeth resisted his suggestions, decrying each hint of civility. Her thoughts wandered to their earlier conversation, and she exclaimed, “I remember hearing you once say, Mr. Darcy, that you hardly ever forgave, that your resentment once created was unappeasable.” She did not wait for the reply.“Would it not behoove a person to then be accurate in his judgments if there is no room to change one's mind?”

When she repeated his earlier contentions, they took on a coarser tone than Darcy intended.“May I ask if you have a particular situation to which you refer?”

“Merely to the illustration of
your
character,” she sallied; “I am trying to make it out.”

Their parley took an unexpected turn. “And what is your success?” Darcy heard himself challenging her.

Elizabeth shook her head as if confused.“I do not get on at all. I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly.”

Darcy wanted her to know the real him, but he had no way of changing the opinions she formed at the assembly hall; it was too late for that. Nor could he acquit her of the lies she heard without putting his sister's honor on the line too. Darcy would never betray
Georgiana.“I can readily believe that reports may vary greatly with respect to me; and I could wish, Miss Bennet, that you were not to sketch my character at the present moment, as there is reason to fear that the performance would reflect no credit on either.”

“Unfortunately, Mr. Darcy, if I do not take your likeness now, I may never have another opportunity.”

“I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours.What you ask are not my answers to give at this time, Miss Elizabeth. I would ask you to trust your inclinations to know what is true.” Their time together ended on this bitter note; they finished the second dance in silence and parted. The way things ended dissatisfied both of them. Elizabeth's natural curiosity initially told her things were not as they seemed, but she could not see past Darcy's earlier behavior to her to distinguish the truth from the lies. Darcy's hurt came from knowing he could never be anything more to her than he was at that moment; he forgave her for her disdain because he knew it was formed on half-truths. Instead, he directed all his anger on George Wickham.