Crossing the Line (23 page)

She smiled, and twirled several strands of his hair around her finger. “I was thinking about the hair on your chest.”

“Ah. I do have a lot, don’t I?”

“You do. But I like it.” Megan propped her head up to rest on her hand while she continued playing. “You know, this is the first time I’ve seen you without a shirt. Even when you were sick, you always wore a T-shirt.”

“Habit. When Chloe was younger, there were a lot of nights I’d have to go into her room for one reason or another. It was easier to already have something on than to fumble around for clothes in the middle of the night.”

“And before Chloe?”

“Um. No.”

“So . . .”

He rolled onto his side to face her. “After I moved out of the college dorms, I got used to sleeping in the nude. Going back to pajamas was an adjustment, but it doesn’t bother me anymore. It’s all what you get used to.”

“Do you think this is something you could get used to?”

Paul raised his eyebrows in question.

Megan didn’t want to push, but she also remembered how unsure he’d been earlier. Had that all disappeared? “Us, I mean.”

He searched her face, and then shrugged. “I don’t know. This,” he gestured between them, “is new to me—different.”

“Because of your wife.”

“Partly, yes.”

She edged closer to him. “I know I said this before but I do understand that you’ll always love Melissa, and I’m okay with that. But Paul, she’s not here anymore, and I am. I want to be part of your life, and not just as your daughter’s nanny.”

Paul caressed her cheek with his thumb. “I hope you realize after this afternoon that I don’t just think of you as the nanny.”

Megan smiled, and closed the distance between them. “Good to know.”

The kiss was teasing, and full of possibilities. She felt him growing hard against her hip. Megan was ready for another round.

When Paul leaned back, she groaned.

He laughed. “You know, I wasn’t joking earlier. I’m an old man. I need recovery time.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re not old.” 

Paul raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, you’re
older
. That doesn’t make you old.”

“If you say so.”

Megan pushed him onto his back, placed her hands on his chest, and rested her chin on top. “I do.”

He was quiet for a long moment. “Did you have somewhere you wanted to go Friday night? I haven’t been on a date in over five years. I’m a little out of my element.”

She tilted her head to the side. “You still want to go?”

“On a date? Sure. Why wouldn’t I?”

“It’s just . . .” Megan gestured to their current nakedness.

“You thought because we slept together that I’d change my mind?”

Megan shrugged and looked away.

“My word. What kind of jerks have you been dating?”

She didn’t answer.

Paul tilted her chin back to where she was looking at him again. She was somewhat embarrassed. Most of the guys she’d dated in the past weren’t jerks exactly, but they weren’t what you’d call gentlemen. They hung out and had a good time together, which often included some down and dirty sex. She had no idea what Paul was seeing as he looked at her, but she felt almost guilty. It was new, and she wasn’t sure she liked it.

Hoisting her further up his body, Paul pressed their foreheads together so he was looking her straight in the eye. “Megan, I have no idea what’s going on between us. This,” he mimicked her gesture from before, “is only part of it. If all I wanted was a quick roll in the hay, I could have gotten that years ago.”

“Of course you could have. You’re hot.”

He laughed. “You’re not making this easy, you know.”

Megan smiled. “Sorry.” 

“What I’m trying to say is that there’s more to what’s between us than physical attraction. At least, I think there is.”

“Are you trying to say that you like me?” It was so easy to tease him sometimes.

“Possibly.”

She bracketed his head with her forearms, and kissed the tip of his nose. “I like you, too. But what happened to you thinking you’re not good enough?”

“Oh, I still think I’m not good enough for you. I messed up before, and there’s no guarantee I won’t do it again.”

“You didn’t mess up.”

“Megan—”

She cut him off with a kiss—one she refused to end until she felt the tension in his body melt away. Releasing his lips, she began working her way along his jaw, and down his neck. “Think you’re ready to go again, old man?”

Megan let out a squeal as Paul rolled them over. Heat flared in her body as his mouth blazed a trail down her torso to the space between her legs. For the next thirty minutes, Megan didn’t think about much of anything, which suited her just fine.

Chapter 18

After their second round of amazing sex, they lay holding each other until they both drifted off to sleep. Over the years, Megan had learned to sleep almost anywhere and in any position. She also trained herself to wake up at a moment’s notice. That’s why when Paul began to jerk and twist beside her, she was instantly alert.

His eyes were closed, so she was fairly sure he was dreaming. From the look on his face, though, it didn’t look to be something pleasant. “Paul?”

There was no change. 

“Paul. Wake up. You’re dreaming. Paul!”

Paul’s eyelids flew open in panic, and he held his body rigid. The only exception was his chest, which continued to move up and down rapidly. 

Megan had no idea what was going on, but she knew better than to touch him. That was a sure fire way to end up getting slapped or punched. 

She decided to wait him out. It didn’t take too long before he realized that there was no immediate danger. He shifted his gaze to the side, and noticed her for the first time. 

“Did I hurt you?”

“No.” Megan scooted closer. She’d been in a few situations similar to this in the past—one of the hazards of sleeping next to guys she didn’t know all that well. On a scale of one to ten, this situation ranked low on her fear meter. 

Paul sat up and held his head in his hands. Beads of sweat glistened off his back.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

He sighed and shook his head.

“Okay.” Megan was at a loss. Something had happened and he was shutting her out. She knew this thing between them was new, but it still hurt.

Without looking in her direction, Paul threw the covers off him, and began gathering his clothes. Unsure what was going on, Megan followed his lead. He was finished dressing before she had her jeans halfway up her legs. 

“Are you hungry?” He didn’t wait for her to answer. “I’m going to see what I can dig up downstairs. Maybe call for a pizza.”

Megan stood there completely dumbfounded as Paul rushed out of her room. What the hell was going on?

She finished putting her clothes back on and headed downstairs. Paul was sitting in the living room with phone in hand, talking to the pizza shop. 

“Yes, I’d like a large supreme pizza. And can you put extra black olives on half of it?”

That made her smile. No matter what was going on, Paul had remembered she liked extra black olives on her pizza.

Paul gave their address, and then hung up. He set the phone down on the coffee table without looking in her direction. “The pizza should be here in about forty minutes.”

“Okay.” Megan leaned back against the doorjamb observing him. If she didn’t know him so well, she would have thought she’d imagined what happened in her bedroom. He sat casually on the couch with his forearms resting on his knees. The only real giveaway was the way he held his shoulders. He wasn’t as relaxed as he appeared.

Megan wanted to do something to make it better, but she was at a loss. She wasn’t even sure what had happened beyond he’d had a nightmare of some kind. Was it work related? Was it about his wife? Either was a distinct possibility. 

He reached for the remote and turned on the television. Apparently, he was planning to ignore the elephant in the room. 

Megan decided to play along for the time being. Crossing the room, she sat down beside him, and tucked her feet under her. 

Paul glanced briefly in her direction, but then went back to flipping through the channels. He settled on a sitcom.

They watched in silence, sitting side by side yet not touching, until the pizza arrived. Paul got up and paid for their dinner while Megan busied herself in the kitchen getting them something to drink. He brought the pizza to the table, and they both took their usual seats. 

When Paul reached for his third slice, Megan decided she couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Are we just going to act like nothing happened?”

He stopped mid-chew, but didn’t answer her.

“Did you have a nightmare? Was it about your wife?”

Paul dropped his pizza back into the box.

“I thought we were going to try and make this work between us. How can we if you shut me out?” Megan was trying to remain calm, but the way he was acting was beginning to scare her. 

“It’s not a big deal. It was only a dream.” He sounded defeated.

Megan reached across the space between them, and covered his hand with hers. He stared at her with a blank look on his face. “I want you to talk to me.”

He shook his head.

“Please.”

For a long time, he said nothing. The silence was almost deafening. “Yes, it was about Melissa.”

Megan breathed a sigh of relief. He was talking. Anything else she could deal with, but if this had any hope of working between them, they had to communicate. “Okay.”

Although she wanted to know more, she decided not to push. Instead, she shoved away from the table, and walked over to put her arms around his neck. It was a simple gesture, but Megan recalled many times in her life when all she had needed was a hug and her world made sense again. She was hoping maybe she could give that to Paul.

At first, he didn’t react. Then something changed, and she felt him release the tension in his body. He circled his arms around her and pulled her down onto his lap. She held on tight, and reveled in this new connection between them. 

“Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked. “I’m not such a catch, you know. I have a lot of baggage.”

She hugged him tighter. “So do I.”

He leaned back so that he could look her in the eye. “I’m serious, Megan. I don’t know how to do this with you. With anyone. Melissa was . . .”

“The love of your life.”

Paul hesitated. “Yes. I thought I’d be with her forever.”

Megan nodded. It wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear, but it wasn’t as if she hadn’t known. No man remained celibate for five years after losing a woman he wasn’t over the moon about.

He snorted. “I’m not doing so well, am I?”

“You’re doing fine. I knew what I was getting myself into.” Megan tried to comfort him. 

“What I don’t understand is why you would want to?”

She framed his face with her hands, and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. “Because I think you’re worth it.”

He sighed, and rested his forehead against hers. “So what do we do now?”

“Well . . .” Megan straddled him and brought her mouth to hover above his ear. “We could finish eating the pizza you ordered, or we could do something more . . . fun.”

Paul’s chest vibrated against her.

Megan gave him the most innocent look she could manage. “What?” 

“You have a one-track mind.”

“I don’t know what you mean. I was thinking if you were full of pizza, maybe we could play a game or something. That’s all.” She kept a straight face, but inside she was struggling to stay composed.

“Sure you were.” His tone was serious, but she could see the twinkle in his eye. He was having fun. More importantly, the haunted look that had been plaguing him since he woke up had disappeared.

Reaching behind her, Megan tore off a bite of pizza, and popped it in her mouth. She made sure to lick her fingers nice and slow, teasing him.

It worked. His brown eyes dilated, and she felt evidence of his interest against the inside of her thigh. She repeated the process, and watched as his eyes grew perceptively darker. 

When she went to take her third bite, Paul stopped her. “You’re a tease, do you know that?”

Megan grinned. “Only if I don’t plan to put out, which I do.”

“Oh you do, do you?”

“Yep.” 

She ran her tongue along the seam of his lips, and he groaned. “Maybe we should wait.”

“Wait for what?”

He sucked in a breath. “It’s . . . Chloe . . .”

That got her attention. Megan glanced up at the clock and sighed. She sat up, but remained straddling his lap. Paul was right. Chloe would be calling any minute. It wouldn’t do them any good to get all hot and heavy, and then have to stop in the middle to answer the phone. There was no way Paul would miss his daughter’s call, and Megan would never ask him to.

Paul was having a hard time remembering why he couldn’t take Megan back upstairs and bury himself deep inside her—a very hard time. When he made the decision to ask her out, he never imagined that less than two hours later they’d be in her bed. She was full of sexual energy, and it was all directed solely at him.