Cross My Heart (21 page)

Elyse brought her feet up onto the couch in front of her
and wrapped her arms around her legs as she buried her face in her
knees. "Oh, God," she wailed.

Reba jumped up to head Clint off, but she was too late.
The door opened and he walked in, looking distraught. "Reba, have you
seen—"

His gaze moved to the couch. "Elyse!" He walked over to
sit beside her. "Honey, don't," he said, and took her in his arms.

She didn't lift her head or change position, but sat
stiffly in his embrace. Reba slipped quietly out of the room and closed
the door.

"I've been looking all over for you." His voice was low
and strained. "I couldn't find you anywhere. I was afraid…"

He didn't attempt to continue, but rocked her gently back
and forth as she slowly began to relax and uncurl. She put her feet
back on the floor and leaned against him. He was so strong and yet so
tender. She could feel his heart beat against her cheek.

She closed her eyes and tried not to think. Outside she
could hear the music—now an old Cole Porter tune—
and the muffled sound of voices, punctuated by an occasional splash as
someone dived into the pool.

Why had Dinah Jefferson come back? As far as Elyse knew
she didn't have relatives in the area. Had she decided she wanted to
marry Clint, after all? How did he feel about her reappearance?
Shocked, obviously, but did he still love her? Want her?

Of course he did. He'd practically said as much when he'd told Elyse about
their affair, but he'd been convinced that Dinah was
lost to him forever. Elyse had known when she'd agreed to marry Clint
that she wasn't the great love of his life, but she'd been willing to
gamble that they could be happy together.

All that had been less than an hour ago. Now, in the blink
of an eye, everything had changed. If she lost him she didn't think she
could bear it, but neither could she marry him if he was in love with
someone else.

Oh, God, why me? I've been through this once. I
lost a man I loved five years ago. Isn't that enough? Am I fated to
keep repeating the experience all the days of my life?

A sob tore through her, and Clint's arms tightened. "It's
all right, honey," he said soothingly. "Everything will be all right.
Do you want to leave?"

Yes, of course she wanted to leave. She wanted to run as
far away as she could get and never have to face the facts of life and
love and other women.

But Reba had effectively blocked that escape. She'd been
right when she'd pointed out that leaving now would only cause Elyse
more humiliation. At least if she stayed and brazened it out nobody
would have to know about her hopes and dreams where Clint was concerned.

For the first time she was grateful that he had been
reluctant to announce their engagement. She couldn't have gone through
the experience of calling off another wedding. No woman should have to
do that more than once in a lifetime.

She got a firm grip on her shattered emotions and pulled
away from Clint. "No," she said, "we might as well stay, unless you'd
prefer not to."

He looked surprised. "Whatever you want is all right with
me."

She stood, praying her legs were steadier than they had
been when she'd sat down. They were. "If you'll tell me where I can
find a bathroom, I'll freshen up a little and then we'll join the
others."

When she rejoined Clint she'd combed her hair and done
what she could to hide the despair that ravaged her eyes. She forced a
smile and took his arm. "I guess you'd better introduce me to Dinah,"
she said, and tugged him toward the patio.

Elyse recognized the other three couples as people she'd
met at Clint's headquarters the night of the election, and she nodded
and said hello as he led her through them to the stunning blonde in the
elegantly tailored blue dress that exactly matched her eyes.

Dinah watched them as they approached. "Dinah," Clint
said, "I'd like you to meet Elyse Haley. Elyse is my—"

"I'm his sister-in-law," Elyse broke in quickly. "His
brother, Paul, married my sister, Liz, last month."

Clint's eyes narrowed, and a frown creased his forehead as
Dinah smiled. "Oh, yes, I'd heard that Paul was married. I'm pleased to
meet you, Elyse."

There was a husky timbre to her voice that was unaffected
and incredibly sexy. Elyse wished she'd taken the easy way out and
left. "Thank you." She hoped her own voice wouldn't waver. "I
understand you've been gone for several years. Are you visiting, or are
you back for good?"

Elyse's stomach was tied in knots, but she was going to
get some information while she could still do it under the guise of an
interested newcomer to the ranks. She had to know Dinah's plans.

"Well, I'm not sure." Dinah glanced at Clint before she
continued. "I've taken a month's vacation from the American Embassy in Paris, where I work. I've
been… homesick… lately, and I decided to come
back and reassess my priorities."

Elyse felt Clint tense beside her, and for a moment she
was afraid she was going to be sick. She'd learned one important thing
about herself in the past few minutes. She was no match in the game of
wits with Clint's former fiancée. She wasn't sophisticated or mature or
tough enough to spar with this woman. If Dinah wanted Clint, Elyse was
pretty sure that all Dinah had to do was beckon and he'd follow, but
Elyse was damned if she was going to make it easy for the other woman.

She squeezed Clint's arm against her side and looked up at
him with a smile. "I distinctly remember your promising me a swim this
afternoon," she said.

"You bet I did." He grinned down at her. "And you promised
to wear a new and risqué bathing suit." He took her hand. "Last one in
is a rotten egg." They ran to the bathhouse, leaving Dinah watching
after them.

By the time they'd finished swimming Dinah was gone.

The tension eased after that, and Elyse made a determined
effort to appear lighthearted and happy. Dinner was served, and
afterward there was dancing on the patio and around the pool.

Clint seemed relaxed and held Elyse close, humming in her
ear as they moved to the rhythm of the music. For a while she could
almost forget that her future had just been destroyed, and enjoy being
in his arms.

The tension between them returned when they got in the car
and started home. For a while neither spoke. Elyse was tongue-tied.
With the specter of Dinah hanging over her she wasn't up to small talk,
but neither could she handle a full-fledged confrontation about the
other woman. She needed time to get her scattered wits about her and
think.

Clint apparently didn't feel the same way. He waded right
into the subject. "Elyse, why did you interrupt when I was about to
tell Dinah you're my fiancée?"

Elyse shivered. "I didn't want it announced that way.
Actually, I didn't want it announced at all."

Clint turned his head to look at her. "Just what's that
supposed to mean?" he growled.

"It means I don't intend to announce our engagement until
I'm damn sure there's going to be a wedding," she snapped, unstrung by
his harsh tone.

"Oh, for God's sake! Are you threatening to cancel our
marriage plans just because one of my old girlfriends is back in town?
If that's going to bother you, then you're in for a rough time, because
I'm pushing forty and there have been a lot of women in my life."

Elyse gasped, unprepared for the attack. "I'm sure there
have been," she said, fighting tears, "but none like Dinah, and we both
know it. I can't compete with her. I won't even try."

"Your trust in me is a little overwhelming." His tone was
thick with sarcasm. "Do you think I've just been marking time with you
until something better came along?"

He was angry, and she had to admit he had good reason.
"Oh, Clint," she said disconsolately, "I don't know. I mean, of course
I know you haven't just been stringing me along, but you thought Dinah
was lost to you forever. Now she's back. Why? What if she's decided she
wants to marry you, after all? Will you still want me then?"

"What in hell do you think I am, a football to be kicked
around between the two of you?" There was outrage in his tone. "Give me
credit for just a little intelligence and enough sense to know what I
want. Dinah made her choice four years ago and I accepted it. I haven't
been waiting in the wings for her to change her mind and come back."

Oh, but you have, my darling
, Elyse
thought.
And now that she's come you 're stuck with me
.

She reached over and put her hand on his leg. "I'm sorry,"
she said tremulously, "I'm acting jealous, and that's exactly what I
am. It was bad enough when you didn't know where she was, but to have
her show up just out of the blue and seemingly ready to take up where
you left off—"

"She didn't say anything about taking up where we left
off," he grated. "You're jumping to conclusions. She's just here for a
visit."

Elyse removed her hand. For the first time she noticed
they'd passed the turnoff for Cameron Ranch and were nearly to the
Placerville exit. Their plans had been for her to spend the night at
Clint's house since Janey wouldn't be home. Had he forgotten in all the
turmoil? Or had he changed his mind? Had his encounter with Dinah made
him unwilling or unable to make love with any other woman?

Or had Elyse's jealous reaction angered him too much? She
couldn't blame him much if it had. She knew how badly she'd been
shocked by the events of this afternoon, and it must be far worse for
him. She should be using her advantage of proximity to show him how
understanding and loving she could be. Instead she was driving him
farther away with unfair accusations.

It was no doubt just as well that he was taking her to her
own home. If she stayed with him they were almost certain to have a
blazing quarrel before morning.

The car stopped in front of her house, and Clint grunted
as he unstrapped his seat belt. "Looks like the baby-sitter forgot to
turn on the porch light. I'll talk to her about that when I take her
home."

Elyse felt a wave of relief. He'd forgotten that Janey was
spending the night with a friend. He hadn't brought her home because he
was mad at her.

"There isn't any baby-sitter, Clint," she said as she
unfastened her own seat belt. "Don't you remember? Janey's not home."

Clint swore and clenched the steering wheel. "You're
spending the night at my house," he remembered indignantly. "For God's
sake, why didn't you say something when I missed the turnoff?"

Elyse opened her door. "I figured if I had to remind you,
it wasn't all that important," she said, equally indignant, and she got
out of the car.

"Elyse! Dammit!" Clint got out and caught her by the arm
as she came around the back. "You know better than that. I'm sorry. Now
get back in the car and we'll go home."

She jerked her arm out of his grasp. "I am home, Clint,
and this is where I'm going to stay."

She ran up the steps and unlocked the front door, then
went inside, with Clint following right behind her. He flipped the
switch to turn on both the outdoor and indoor lights as he pushed the
door closed. They walked down the hall and into the family room, where
Elyse lit a lamp.

She was standing with her back to him, when he came up
behind her and put his arms around her. "Don't do this to me, Elyse,"
he said huskily. "I'm sorry. I know I'm being a jerk, but I feel as if
I've been poleaxed somewhere along the way. My head is splitting, my
nerves are raw and I can't think straight."

Her strong maternal instinct responded to his plea, and
her urge to comfort took over. She turned in his embrace and put her
arms around his neck, ashamed of herself for not being more patient
with him, more sympathetic. She'd been thinking only of herself, her
own feelings, and not even trying to understand what all this was doing
to him.

"I love you, darling," she murmured, pulling his aching
head down on her shoulder.

He sighed. "Then come home with me where we can relax and
talk quietly. I'm about out on my feet."

She caressed his cheek with her lips. "Let's stay here
tonight, then I can take you right upstairs and put you to bed."

His arms tightened around her. "I don't care where I spend
the night as long as you're with me."

They walked upstairs with their arms around each other,
and when they came to Elyse's room Clint sank wearily onto the side of
the bed. Elyse went down the hall to the bathroom and returned almost
immediately with two aspirin and a glass of water. "Here, take these.
They'll help your headache."

He swallowed the pills while she knelt between his parted
knees and removed his shoes. "Hey, you don't have to do that," he
protested.

"I want to," she said as she pulled off his socks. "You
look as if you could use some tender loving care tonight."

She rubbed her cheek against his thigh. "Now sit quietly
and let me undress you."

He cupped her face in his hands and leaned down to kiss
her. "Sweetheart, I could get addicted to your ten-der loving care," he
said in a voice filled with gratitude, "and you can undress me anytime."

He slipped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her
closer so that her head lay against his chest. She tugged his shirt out
of his trousers and rubbed her palms over his bare back. "You feel
awfully warm," she murmured against his heart. "Do you suppose you're
running a temperature?"

He kissed the top of her head. "No, I probably got a touch
of sunburn when we were swimming. Then, too, I'm always hot when you
cuddle with me. Maybe you just haven't noticed before."

"I've noticed," she said, but she was also close enough to
him now to know he wasn't urgently aroused. He really didn't feel well.

She sat back on her heels and unfastened the heavy button
on his jeans, then stood and lifted his knit shirt over his head. He
grinned as she pulled him to his feet and quickly unzipped his fly so
she could push his jeans down over his slender hips to where he could
step out of them.