Cowboy Famous: Book 4 (Cowboy Justice Association) (32 page)

His mother’s shoulders relaxed and a smile spread across her face. “No need to use that kind of language, young man. I’m just glad you’ve learned it at last.”

“Learned what?” he asked, anxious to get back to work. His mother was smiling like a Cheshire cat and he had a sneaking suspicion why.

“That taking care of someone you love isn’t a burden,” she answered simply. “It’s a privilege.”

Hanging his head, he stared at his boots trying to think of something to say that didn’t make him sound like a selfish jerk. Except that he had been a tad too self-involved in the past.

“I’ve figured that out.” He lifted his head and gazed into his mother’s kind eyes. She was looking at him not with disgust but with pride.

“It’s all I could hope for. You’re already a good, honorable man. You just needed to learn to open your heart a little and let someone in. I like Jazz, by the way. Not that it’s important. It’s only important how you feel, but she seems like a fine young woman. She’ll be good for you.”

“I love her.” The words came out slightly strangled and he could feel the heat rise in his cheeks but his mother seemed to understand.

“I’m guessing she loves you too.”

She couldn’t know that, not for sure. She only thought it because she was his mother.

“She wants to be a star, Mom. What can I offer her that would make her stay?”

Saying his worst fear out loud was harder than he’d imagined.

“You.” His mother patted his hand and smiled. “In the end, things don’t matter anyway. You’re either enough or you aren’t. Your father and I didn’t have two nickels to rub together when we got married, and we don’t have much more now. But we have each other and you kids. That’s all I’ve ever needed.”

“I won’t stand in the way of her dreams.”

Turning toward the door, she nodded in agreement. “I know you won’t. Just be sure you know what those dreams really are. You might be surprised. And don’t forget your own dreams along the way. They’re just as important.”

If all he had was himself to counter glamour, fame and fortune, he was up shit creek without a paddle. As soon as she was healed, Jazz would probably want to leave this place and everyone associated with it. He couldn’t think of one logical reason she should stay.

*   *   *   *

“Hold still,” Presley warned as she ran the sharp scissors along the ends of Jazz’s hair. “I’m almost done.”

Jazz’s day with Ava Wright and Presley Reilly had actually been good. Both women were warm and friendly, clucking over Jazz like mother hens. They’d made sure she was comfortable and fed all the while trying to draw her out about the ordeal from yesterday. Eventually she’d given in and recounted the story to the two women as unemotionally as she could. They’d listened without interrupting and then at the end each given her a huge hug. Presley had even muttered something about kicking Gordon in the balls which had only served to make Jazz laugh.

Presley had then offered to trim Jazz’s hair and now here she was, her locks in the hands of someone she’d just met.

“I’m holding still but I want to see.”

“Just one minute.” There were a few more snips and then Presley stood back with a huge grin on her face. “Ta da! All done. You look gorgeous, if I do say so myself.”

Ava helped Jazz pull off the towel they’d wrapped around her shoulders. “It does look good, Jazz. I wasn’t sure if Presley knew what she was doing but damn, she does.”

It was a little late to be hearing that Ava hadn’t had any confidence in Presley. Standing, Jazz padded into the bathroom and checked her new hairdo in the mirror.

Presley had done well. Jazz’s hair had once been down to the middle of her back but now bounced in waves around her shoulders. Shiny and healthy, it glowed with life even as her skin looked pale and drawn in contrast to the purple-blue bruise on her cheek and eye.

Still staring at her reflection, she was shocked to see tears sliding down her face. It all seemed like too much. She’d been trying to hold everything in so she wouldn’t scare the shit out of Griffin but she simply couldn’t stem the tide any longer. Her breath caught in a sob and she sat down on the side of the bathtub as her knees turned to water.

“Oh shit! You don’t like it? I’m so sorry! Fuck.” Presley was kneeling down next to Jazz, Ava on the other side. They were patting her back and apologizing as Jazz tried to get out the words that the haircut was fine. It was everything else that had gone in the crapper.

More tears and hiccups until Jazz finally caught her breath. “It’s not my hair. You did a good job.”

Ava and Presley exchanged a glance and Ava put her arm around Jazz. “Let me guess. You just need a good cry to get everything out, huh? Men just don’t understand. You go for it.”

Jazz nodded, more tears making words impossible. The two women let her cry until she was drained, not one tear left in her body. Ava pulled some toilet paper from the roll and handed it to Jazz who dried her eyes. Amazingly she did feel better. The stress she’d had dammed up inside of her had burst wide open but was now free to leave. She wasn’t sorry to see it go.

“Thank you.” Jazz dabbed carefully at her injured cheek. “I think I did really need that.”

Presley sat back on her heels and smiled. “Do you really feel better? You can cry more if you need to. After Bennett was born I’d burst into tears at the drop of a hat. I once cried because he’d grown out of a pair of footie pajamas. They were my favorite pair and he looked so cute in them. When Seth got home I was blubbering that Ben was all grown up and going to leave us. I think he was two months old at the time.”

Ava burst into laughter at Presley’s confession. “Oh man, I can just see poor Seth’s expression too. I wish I’d been there.”

“I’m sure he wished that too. He would have let you take care of me. As it was, he just patted me on the back and took Bennett to his parents’ house for a few hours. I had a nap and felt a hundred percent better when I woke up. Sleep deprivation is hell, don’t you know.”

“I’ll remind Logan how lucky he is,” giggled Ava. “He’s got it easy with me.”

“Are you kidding?” Jazz couldn’t resist reminding the woman of how they’d met. “When we were there a week ago he had to promise you cheesecake and pizza to get you to sleep.”

Slapping a hand over her mouth, Ava’s eyes went wide. “Shit, I forgot you saw that. I guess my terrible secret is out. I torture the poor man when I’m near the end of a book. Good thing he loves me.”

“Good thing all our men love us,” Presley agreed with a twinkle in her eye. “I doubt any of the three of us is a day at the beach to live with, but then neither are the boys.”

A shooting pain pierced Jazz’s heart. She shook her head in denial.

“He doesn’t love me.”

“What makes you say that?” Ava’s brows shot up. “I’ve never seen Griffin look at anyone like he looks at you.”

“He’s never said it,” she said, misery in her voice.

“Have you?” Presley shot back. “Don’t bother answering. I can see it’s no. Is it so out of the realm of possibility that he might love you and just not said it yet? Men can be slow that way. I had to say it to Seth first.”

Ava rolled her eyes. “Don’t even get me started on Logan. I didn’t think he’d ever say it. He was the original
baby don’t get hooked on me
kind of guy. I think the town was taking bets as to whether he would actually show up at the altar.”

It was way too soon to be thinking matrimonial. She only wanted a future. Rings and weddings weren’t important.

“Griffin likes things a certain way. No one messing with his privacy or his life. Even if he does love me, maybe he won’t want things to change.”

“Doubt he can stop things from changing.” Presley shrugged and shook her head. “Life has a way of moving along whether you like it or not. He’ll just have to suck it up and deal with it.”

“Do you want to tell him that?” Jazz had to smile at Presley’s pitiless expression. She probably did keep Seth on his toes.

“I would but I think it’s going to have to come from you. Now let’s go find the ice cream in this joint. After a good cry a woman needs ice cream.”

Jazz couldn’t argue with the logic. A big bowl – with hot fudge sauce – sounded like exactly what she needed right now.

There would be a time to discuss the future with Griffin but today wasn’t it. Tomorrow wasn’t looking too good either.

Chapter Twenty-Five

“F
or the love of all that’s good and holy, I’m fine.” Jazz groaned and snapped her book shut. She’d been reading out on the deck when Griffin had urged her to come inside because it might be too hot. This coming from the man who had worried yesterday that the house was too cold. The day before he’d been concerned she wasn’t eating enough protein and getting enough sunshine. “Right as rain. All better.”

She wasn’t lying. The fear that had wrapped itself around her that first day had dissipated along with the moments of panic. Her crying jag had done her good and each day since she’d grown stronger as her bruises and cuts healed. Even her face was starting to look more normal, the swelling gone. The bruise had turned a nasty shade of yellow-green but some crafty makeup would cover it if she needed to leave the house.

“It’s been less than a week,” he argued. “You went through something really traumatic.”

“I did and now I’m fine. You’ve taken really good care of me.”

He had actually. Although he’d had to work, he’d made sure she had everything she could ever possibly need. Except his love, of course. He didn’t appear to be offering that up on a platter. If anything, he’d pulled away from her, hardly touching except at night. Then he’d cuddle her close and they’d fall asleep wrapped around each other.

“I just want you to be okay.”

She sighed and set the book down on the table. “I know you do. That’s why you won’t let me read the paper or watch the news. You’ve protected me from everything involved with Gordon including the press. I haven’t seen any reporters. How are you keeping them away?”

Red stained his cheekbones and his lips pulled back in a snarl. “I threatened to throw their ass in jail if they came within a mile of you.”

“I’m surprised they listened.”

“Let’s just say I left them in no doubt about being serious.”

His expression convinced her. She would have hated to have been one of the reporters who had defied his edict.

“I’m going to have to talk to them eventually,” she replied, keeping her tone reasonable. The press would hound her until she told her story.

“You don’t have to say shit to them.” His silver-gray eyes were hard and flat. “I won’t let them near you, Jazz.”

“I can’t stay locked in this house forever, although the view is nice. I have to leave sometime.”

His body seemed to stiffen and he looked out over the lake. “You mean back to Hollywood?”

Is that where he wanted her? Was he tired of ministering to the invalid?

“I was only thinking about a trip to the diner, but yeah, I guess Los Angeles. I mean, I can’t stay here forever, can I?” Jazz held her breath and hoped, her heart squeezing in her chest.

Say yes. Say yes.

“I guess not. You’ll be wanting to get back.” Griffin nodded toward the doors leading to the house. “Are you hungry for dinner? I can make something.”

She wasn’t hungry. She was tired of the distance he’d placed between them. They hadn’t made love since before. Before Gordon. They needed to eradicate the specter of what had happened from between them.

“Tell me.”

Griffin shook his head, not looking into her eyes. “It’s best if–”

“Tell me,” she pleaded. “I know you’re trying to protect me, but I’m fine. Tell me everything. What he said. What he’s done. Then we can just bless and release this whole thing.”

Griffin sank into the other chair at the table, his expression bleak. “I don’t know where to start.”

“Start anywhere you like. You’ll figure it out. Just talk.”

Pulling her knees up so her heels were balanced on the edge of the chair, she wrapped her arms around her legs. Listening to this was not going to be pleasant but it needed to be done. She’d been floating in a land of make believe for days. Time for a reality check.