Counting Down (29 page)

His eyes held a plea. “It was my vision, my responsibility.
I had to make the vision change, put myself in your place.
Not get you involved and risk it all coming true. That last morning…” He clenched his eyes shut, opened them again to look at her. “I was trying to make it easier for you. You don’t remember the past the way I do Abby. I lost you once. You and the children. I couldn’t face that again.”

“The children,” she whispered. She closed her eyes, sifted through the pieces of memory in her mind. “We had twin girls.”

“Esree and Mayra.” His voice was heavy. “They had your eyes and my smile. They were smart, beautiful, and loved to listen to me tell stories.”

“I remember them, but not clearly. I think they had blonde hair. Didn’t we have a son as well?” She smiled at the vision in her mind. “Yes, he was just a baby, chubby and happy.” She suddenly remembered the sensation of nursing her little boy, felt the sharp pain of loss in her heart.

“His name was Callum also.” Kyle rubbed his temple. “Be grateful you don’t remember them as clearly as I do. Sometimes I feel like I was Callum just yesterday. I remember everything. That’s probably why I was in so much pain after that first touch. In a matter of minutes an entire lifetime was shoved into my head.” He pressed his temple as if remembering the pain. “And now I think I understand why people don’t generally get to recall their earlier incarnations. It’s too painful to know what’s been lost, what you can never have again.” After a moment, he continued with their present conversation. “I would’ve rather been dead than lose you again.”

“I didn’t want to lose you either Kyle. What made you think I would be able to do all this on my own while grieving for you?”

“You’re stronger than I am Abby. I knew you would be okay. You didn’t have the same memories of… us. It wasn’t as intense for you.

“Just because I don’t have as many details as you do doesn’t mean I don’t have the same feelings.”

“Yes, but I thought since I had distanced myself a little that you would move on.” He looked away. “And you did.”

She didn’t argue with him, didn’t want to tell him how she had wished she had died when the end came. And she certainly couldn’t tell him how many times she had considered it since that terrible day.

“Don’t think that Abby. I wanted you to go on even if I wasn’t there to be with you.”

“I didn’t mean for you to hear that, but it’s true nonetheless. I wanted to die with you.” She spoke without shame, shrugged as though thinking about her own death had become commonplace. “Anyway, why didn’t you tell me you were alive from the start?” “I didn’t know how long I could hold on. I knew I was pretty bad off. I tried cutting the buckshot out a few times, but there was no way. It was too deep.”

Abby tightened, imagining him cutting his own skin open and mining for tiny pieces of metal embedded in the layers of flesh.
Suddenly she was gripped with the urge to touch him and make sure he was really there.

Kyle continued. “An infection was inevitable, no matter how hard I tried to keep it clean. I wanted to tell you, but if you thought I was dead anyway then it didn’t matter. No one would ever know the difference.” His voice broke but he regained it quickly. “You started getting better, started moving forward. I didn’t want to cause any more pain or give you false hope.”

He paused, their eyes meeting for a long moment. “I woke up for a little while yesterday, long enough to tell you where I was. I knew the levels had gone down, were almost normal, and I realized it was my only chance.”

She was quiet for a long time before she found the courage to speak. She couldn’t look at him when the words finally left her mouth. “Where does all of this leave us then?”

He stood, favoring his leg, fiddled with the brushes she had left along the easel. “We need to stay down here for at least a few more days until the radiation goes down another notch or two. Hopefully the temperature wi
ll
go up as well. And you need to recover your strength before we go back up and start rebuilding.” He rubbed his bad thigh. “I guess we both do.”

She stood, took a step towards him. “I meant where does that leave us?”

“Oh.” He looked down, scratched a finger between his brows and let out a nervous laugh. His eyes tipped up, looking at her from beneath his lashes. “I didn’t sleep in the chair that night because… because I didn’t have the strength to resist having just one night to hold you. In the morning…” He breathed through his mouth deeply, looked away and back again. “…getting shot in the leg was easier than pushing you away.”

She forced back more tears, slipped her hand into his and leaned against his chest. She shivered and sunk into him.

He pressed his lips to her forehead, rested his chin in her hair. “You need more sleep.”

She shook her head. “No, I… I don’t want to close my eyes. I’m afraid this will end up being a dream.”

“It’s okay.” He brushed the back of his fingers along her jaw. “I’m here now and I’m never leaving you again. We’re a package deal, remember? I go where you go.”

They stepped the small distance to Abby’s bunk and she climbed in, moving against the wall to make room for him. She watched him struggle with his leg as he lay down beside her and pulled her close into the crook of his shoulder.

“What happened to the people who tried to take the bunker?” Abby asked.

“I had to fire on them.” His body tensed. “The others… they died when the end came.”

“Where did the other shelter come from?”

“So many questions.” He laughed against her hair. “I had it put in when I upgraded the other one.”

She looked up at him. “How did you know what was going to happen then?”

“I didn’t. Just a gut instinct. A backup plan.”

That satisfied Abby.
It wouldn’t be the first time his gut had proved useful. She scooted closer, threw one leg over his.

He let out a quiet groan.

“Oh. I’m sorry.” She removed her leg quickly but carefully. “Does it hurt much?”

“Nah, not too bad. Hanna is going to work on it again later.” One of his hands trailed up her spine while the other traced the shallow scars along her forearm. “How are you?”

She yawned in response.

He huffed out a soft chuckle, kissed the top of her head again. “Sleep then. You have a lot to teach me tomorrow.”

Abby closed her eyes, tucked her arms in between them. “Kyle,” she murmured.

“Hmm?”

“What if it doesn’t come back… the light?”

“It will.” He pulled the blanket up over her shoulders. “No more worries. Go to sleep.”

Tuesday, January 22nd 2013, 11:56am

A
bby felt the light brush of sable against her cheek as her eyes fluttered open.
She felt the paintbrush move of its own accord along her cheek, down the length of her jaw, finally resting in the hollow of her throat.

She lay on her back, the curtain open like it always was lately, enough to see Kyle leaning up on one glowing yellow elbow and looking serious from his own bunk across the lane. His hand was in the air, two fingers twirling as the brush spun pirouettes along her collarbone.

They had cleared the two bottom beds in the back of the sleeping area so they could doze off close by each other every night.
They chose the back so they could whisper if they wanted to without bothering the others too much. It was as close as they typically got lately.

They had agreed to take their relationship slow, at least for the duration of their stay in the bunker. Neither of them wanted to be on display in front of the other seven people they lived with. Not to mention getting physical wasn’t necessarily a comfortable idea considering their privacy was seriously lacking.

Abby
wasn’t sure she cared about privacy
.
What she felt for Kyle was so powerful, it seemed at times like nothing else mattered but being close to him.
Kyle had said knowing they were not alone would only be a distraction. More distractions, Abby thought. The man simply couldn’t multitask at all.

Both of them were frustrated with th
eir circumstances, but Abby felt her will power quickly waning
. Kyle had been the one to stay reasonable, suggesting they sleep in separate beds, and more or less stay out of physical contact. With the exception of the occasional touch or i
nnocent kiss, expressing their feelings for each other in the old fashioned way
had been put on hold.

Just knowing he was only feet away from her every night was torture. There had been more than one occasion where she thought she might give in
and jump into his bunk
.
Abby had never possessed the virtue of patience
and she just plain hated waiting.

Her shirt lifted just an inch and the soft bristles found their way around her bellybutton.
She met his gaze, exhaled slowly, knew her thoughts were written on her face.

The brush suddenly flew away from her. He caught it with a snap before a subtle motion of his hand returned her shirt to its place, covering her skin.

He sent her a knowing grin, shrugged. “I was getting sick of calling your name to wake you.”

She took a breath, struggled momentarily to collect her composure. Never in her life had a man been able to stir her the way that Kyle did. It felt at once incredible and torturous.
She didn’t just want him physically. It was his soul she wanted to touch, to combine with her own
until they were one thing
.

His grin broadened into a lopsided smirk as he watched her. “It’s time to wake up now. Everyone’s getting ready.”

“Oh, that’s right. Big day.”

In a short time they would be surfacing for the first time as a group, though not for good. There was a ton of work to be done before they could move their residence from the bunker permanently, but today was the day they began the preparations for their future above ground.

Kyle had been right. Her light had returned within a day and together they were learning how to use their abilities. She taught him how to use the extra powers she’d discovered and he taught her how to control her thoughts better. This, he said, would only allow him to see and hear what she wanted him to as opposed to being the open book of information she’d been before.

Abby sighed, looking over his bare chest with longing.
She just wanted to touch him, feel his warmth, take in his scent.
“You’re going to be the death of me I think.” He chuckled deep in his throat.

“You? Believe me, I wish we were above ground, lounging in my bed all day and through the night.”

“Hmm… sounds
lovely
.” She got out of her bed and went to sit on the edge of his. Her index finger trailed from his throat to his belly button. “We have some time
now
.”

He took her hand, brought it to his lips. “This is too important, Abby. You’re too important. It
should be right
.”

“I’m sure it will be beyond
right. Perfect even.”

When he said no more she blew out a resigned breath. “Maybe I’ll just go punch Alex a little.”

“I’m sure you can take him. Just mess up his hair a l
ittle and he’ll be easy to over
power.”

Abby watched the smile turn his lips, staring at them
and wishing she could kiss them whenever and wherever she wanted to
. The desire she had for him could fill the ocean to overflowing and she felt the deep stir of
something so much greater than physical
excitement. She bent to him, gliding her tongue along his bottom lip, slipping it into his mouth.

“Oh god Abby.” He pushed her forward, held her at arm’s length by her shoulders. “Soon. Okay? I promise. I just want there to be no…”