Contessa (77 page)

I think back to the way he was touching me, and the smile comes naturally.

“
That
’
s the one.
”
He stares, as if trying to memorize every nuance of my expression, then moves quickly to grab the pencil and paper. He reclaims his position against the headboard and begins to draw as I lie on the bed, my jeans unfastened and unzipped, but still in place, my sweater in a heap next to me.

The smile stays with me. He definitely knows how to please me. I stare at the ceiling, still reflecting, not wanting to let go of the moment, but not wanting to draw him in to something more, something I
’
m not ready to give him.
Yet
.

“
Have I said thank you yet?
”
I look in his direction, but his focus is on his drawing.

“
You have,
”
he mutters with a grin without glancing up.

“
Jon, did it feel good for you, too?
”
I ask him. I had followed his lead, wanting to do the same for him that he had done for me. Nervous and unsure, I had unzipped his jeans and tucked my hand inside tentatively. He
’
d moaned in my ear as I explored the completely foreign anatomy that hid beneath his underwear. He encouraged me softly, where to put my hand, my palm, my fingers, how to hold him, how to move against him. I knew it felt good for him, but I didn
’
t know if he was able to experience a fraction of what I felt. If he was, he hid his emotions well, staying composed and concerned with making me happy.

He
’
s silent for a few seconds, maybe a minute, as he continues to draw. Finally, he bites his lip, makes eye contact with me, and moves the paper to the side.
“
I didn
’
t thank you, did I?
”

“
That
’
s not why I
’
m asking,
”
I explain quickly.

“
It felt amazing, you touching me like that. You should already know that I enjoyed it, Olivia. A man
’
s body can
’
t hide its excitement well.
”
I
’
m pretty sure his cheeks grow a little pinker.
“
I just can
’
t wait for the day when I don
’
t have to hide how I really feel about you.
”

“
I know,
”
I whisper, understanding him and still feeling a little sad that he wasn
’
t fully satisfied.
“
Was there something I could have done to... you know?
”

“
We
’
ll get there, Liv,
”
he says.

“
I know, I just feel bad–
”

He puts his hands next to my ears and presses his lips firmly on mine. He pulls away for less than a second, just to say one thing to me.
“
Don
’
t.
”
Then we
’
re kissing again, and he settles his torso against mine. The warmth of his skin is comforting. I feel safe in his arms. He rolls us over, pulling me on top of him. I lean back slightly, my forearms carefully balanced against his chest. My hair cascades in messy tendrils, shielding our view from anything else in the room. It feels like we
’
re the only two people in the world.
“
Don
’
t feel bad, okay? When we
’
re both ready to take it to the next level, we
’
ll know it. But now, I like making you feel that way. I like knowing that I do that to you.
”

“
Will you tell me when you want more?
”
I ask him.

“
Maybe,
”
he answers.
“
When I think you
’
re ready, maybe.
”

“
Do you sometimes wish I wasn
’
t a virgin?
”

He laughs at my question, his eyebrows raised high.
“
No, Olivia. Never. I kind of like this prolonged anticipation. The longer I wait, the stronger I feel about you. The more sure I am about you.
”

“
I love you,
”
I tell him as I slide off of him and nestle into his side, my head resting on his chest.

“
I love you, too,
”
he says, kissing the top of my head and pulling the end of the comforter off the edge of the bed to cover us up.
“
Don
’
t get me wrong though,
”
he adds. I lift my head up to look at him.
“
I also can
’
t wait until you
’
re
not
a virgin anymore.
”
He positions his fingers beneath my chin and angles my head for a kiss.
“
Provided I
’
m the one that makes you that way, of course.
”

“
Of course,
”
I reiterate.
“
I don
’
t want it to be anyone else, Jon. I trust you. I don
’
t think I could ever trust someone else like this. I feel like I
’
ve always known you and like you
’
ve always cared about me.
”

“
I have.
”
He strokes my hair as I begin to doze off, wrapped in his arms, in the comforter; completely wrapped up in
him
.

“
Olivia?
”
I hear him whisper, drawing me out of my sleep.

“
Yeah?
”

“
Did I wear you out?
”
he
laughs
softly, moving to grab my leg by the back of the knee to pull it across his body. His hand continues to explore my leg and backside.

“
What time is it?
”
I ask, opening my eyes to see the sun blazing into them through the windows.
“
Wow, that
’
s bright.
”

“
That
’
s the sun setting,
”
he says.
“
It
’
s five.
”

“
Five? Already?
”
I
’
m mildly alerted by the quick passage of time, but not enough to move.

“
Yeah. I just heard your phone ring. It might be your parents, so I thought maybe you should check.
”

“
Oh, god, yeah.
”
That gets me moving. I hop off the bed and grab my sweater, pulling it over my head hurriedly.

“
Slow down, it
’
s not like they
’
re here.
”

I stop and take a few deep breaths, finally waking up.
“
Right.
”
I smile at him and fasten my jeans.

He stands up to zip and button his pants, too, then begins walking closer to me. Wrapping his arms around me, he leans in as if he
’
s going to kiss my cheek or take my earlobe into his mouth. I close my eyes in anticipation.
“
Your sweater
’
s on backwards,
”
he says in my ear. His arms move, and I feel his fingers grasp the bottom hem of my garment. I raise my hands up, allowing him to undress me for the second time today.
“
You don
’
t really need this to call them, do you?
”

“
I don
’
t guess so,
”
I answer.

“
Good,
”
he says, balling it up and tossing it far across the room.

“
Wait, do you think people can see in these windows?
”
I ask in a panic.

“
No, the windows are reflective. I noticed when we came in.
”
I sigh in relief as he walks over to my tote bag and finds my phone. After inspecting it, he hands it to me.
“
Yep. Your dad.
”

“
He just called once?
”

“
Yeah.
”

“
Cool.
”

“
What are we studying?
”
Jon quizzes me.

“
SAT prep?
”

“
Nice. And what
’
s for dinner?
”

“
Sandwiches at a deli. A new place you
’
re dragging me to.
”

“
Excellent.
”
As I start to dial, he takes the phone once more.
“
Now, I
’
m not encouraging you to lie, you understand that, right?
”

“
Yes, you are,
”
I laugh, grabbing the phone back.
“
But I don
’
t mind.
”

“
I
’
m just asking you to protect what we have going here,
”
he states.
“
I can
’
t risk another grounding.
”

“
I know,
”
I tell him as I start to run my fingers down his torso. He shudders at the ticklish sensation, and wraps his fingers around mine. I release his hands so I can dial my father.

“
Hey, Daddy,
”
I say when he answers. I walk toward the window so I can focus on what I
’
m going to say.
“
How
’
s your day?
”

“
Fine, Livvy, how
’
s yours?
”
he asks. Already, he sounds suspicious.

“
You know, the same old thing. School, studying... same thing that happens every Tuesday.
”

“
Are you with Jon?
”

“
Yeah, we
’
re studying.
”

“
At the library?
”

“
Yep,
”
I say quickly, cringing to myself.
Two lies in under ten seconds.

“
What are you working on this week?
”

“
I thought he could help me with some vocabulary words... going through that SAT book you got me, remember?
”

“
Good, that
’
s good. Tell me a word.
”

“
A word?
”
I ask, caught off guard by his question. My brain scans all the advanced words I
’
ve learned lately, but I blurt out the one that has stayed with me since I first heard it.
“
Libidinous.
”

Jon coughs loudly behind me. I turn around and realize he had just taken a sip of water, and had now spit it all over the floor. He looks at me in disbelief.

“
Libidinous?
”
my dad asks.
“
Well, that
’
s not one you hear every day.
”

“
Oh, um, maybe I said it wrong.
”
I pick up a clean paintbrush from the table and toss it at Jon.

“
Is the latin root
libido
?
”
he asks.

“
No, I
’
m sure I said it wrong. Definitely not the right word.
”