Compass (27 page)

The night played on, each second spent together giving and taking, until both were completely sated. Well past midnight, Ryan and Alexis lay in the bed, only a sliver of the moonlight slipping in through the window. He held her in his arms, caressing her silky skin. Never had a woman made him feel this way. The very thought of letting her go caused his chest to ache. Alexis fit with him, in every way. She was tight, supple, and the sound of her orgasm was a song he could listen to on repeat and never get bored of it.

“Lex?” He pressed a kiss to her temple.

Alexis hummed.

“Tell me something.”

She shifted her position, resting her elbow on his chest, as she met his gaze. He touched her kiss-swollen mouth, images of biting those seductive lips running rampant through his mind. “Why didn’t you want to get on the Ferris wheel earlier?”

Ryan noticed the way her pulse jumped. He couldn’t quite make out her expression, but something told him it mimicked her reaction from earlier in the day.

She started to draw small patterns over his chest. “It’s complicated.”

“So, you’re afraid of heights.” It was more of a statement than a question. He’d suspected it earlier, but a little surprised, because he didn’t recall such a fear from when they were kids.

Her fingers trailed down his stomach and back to his chest. “Not really heights, per se. It’s more like a fear of falling.”

“How long have you had this fear?”

A slight tremor shook her. Ryan twirled a strand of her hair around his finger, not pushing her, simply waiting for her response. She took in a deep breath. “All my life,” she answered, pressing her lips to his chest.

“So does that mean you’re afraid of flying, too?”

“Yes.” Her voice sounded so small.

“All those plans we had of travelling together, flying the world, and you were scared to death?” He couldn’t believe it. Never in his life had he felt so guilty. Had he known she felt that way, he never would’ve subjected her to all those years of planning adventures. “Why would you…?” his question trailed off. He wasn’t even sure what he was asking.

Alexis lifted her hand, resting it against his neck. “I would’ve done anything for you, and I figured if I had to fly, at least I’d have you with me.”

“Would have?”

Her lips met his, light and gentle, but there was a sort of sadness in her tone as she stated, “Still would.”

Ryan grinned against her lips. “Let’s get out of here,” he promoted, moving out from underneath her.

Her face scrunched up. “It’s nearly one in the morning. Wouldn’t you prefer to...you know?”

“Damn, woman. I’m not a machine,” he teased. In reality, his body automatically reacted to her suggestion, but he had different plans, for now. “I need sustenance. Now, let’s get dressed.” He stood up from the bed, unabashed by his nakedness, offering her his hand. “Let’s go for a ride.”

Alexis twisted her lips. “I thought I already did,” she said, waggling her brows.

Ryan’s hand dropped along with his mouth, a little tongue-tied. A burst of laughter ripped from his chest. “Get that cute ass of yours out of the bed before I have to spank you.” He opened his palm to her.

“Oh, really?” She smacked her lips. “You and whose army?”

Ryan’s face turned stone cold as he stalked toward her. “I believe I don’t need an army to take you down. As you so eloquently put it, I’ve already done that.”

“Proud of ourselves, are we?”

Ryan grinned, liking this game. “No need to be proud when I speak the truth. And you really should consider just doing as I say, because I don’t lose, sweetheart. Ever.”

“Oh, hell no!” She started to back away, but he was quick. Where she moved, he maneuvered to block her. Ryan relied on his training, both as a pilot and a triathlete to wrangle her in. It tickled him that she was so unsuspecting of his moves.

“I thought you said you wanted to go somewhere,” she squealed, shrinking away from him, laughing.

“Too late. Your ass is mine, York.” Ryan crouched down ready to pounce his prey.

“Don’t you dare!” She scrambled, moving to the side of the bed, ready to jump for it. Ryan made a dive for her but missed. “Ryan, no!” she squeaked.

Arching his back, Ryan winked at her. “Yes! I told you, you’re mine, and I meant it.” Ryan smirked at the expression on her face. Those words rang true in more than one aspect. He dodged to the side of the bed for a tactical advantage, but she diverted from him again.

“Give it up! You couldn’t catch me when we were kids and you can’t do it now,” she jibbed.

“Oh, that’s it!” It was time to show her who he was now. He made a rush toward her, catching her in one fell swoop. His arms locked around her like a cage, pulling her close to his body. She wiggled and squirmed against him as he tickled her, relentlessly. They laughed and played, as if they were two kids again, but their bodies knew otherwise. Any reasoning he had for leaving disappeared. Gone was his hunger for food or the need to get her away from the thoughts of their past. No, he wanted her. Again and again. And he’d have her.

Ryan stopped tickling her, his gaze rushed down to her heaving chest. In the glow of the moonlight, he’d never seen anything more perfect than the woman trapped beneath him. His already pounding heart was viciously trying to escape through his throat. She already owned him, fully and completely.

He leaned in and kissed her, the taste of her on his tongue was something meant only for him. That one kiss exploded into a wave of passion and lust. The sweetness of their previous lovemaking was absent, leaving only the raw need. He entered her body in one swift, sweet push. Each thrust of his hips grew harder and filled her with more force than he thought was possible.

A little worried he might be hurting her, he slowed his movements, but Alexis wouldn’t have it. She gripped his hips, digging her nails into his flesh and pushed him to keep going. That was all he needed to lose control.

The bed rocked against the wall; Alexis held on to the headboard for support. Harder. Deeper. Faster. He slammed into her over and over, never relenting until they reached their climax, together. The world exploded in a string of lights, breathless screams, and delicious quivers. In those wee hours of the morning, Ryan claimed her body as Alexis took ownership of his soul.

“Lex?” Ryan’s eyes fluttered open upon finding the spot beside him empty and cold.

“Yeah?”

Alexis sat at the end of the bed, her knees drawn to her chest, as she peered out the window. Darkness still shrouded the world, but the morning glow lightened the sky to hues of blue and green. Ryan shifted in the bed. Alexis remained unmoved, her back turned to him, closing herself off. The distance between them worried Ryan.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Her voice sounded lifeless.

“You’re lying to me.”

He sat up, pushing the covers away from his body and crawled to the end of the bed. He pulled her between his legs, drawing her to his chest. She swiped a tear from her face, her head falling back against his breastbone. Yet even with her this close, she felt a million miles away. Whatever was going on inside her was pulling her away from him. After the night they’d spent together, this behavior confused him. It even aggravated him.

Only hours earlier he’d been awaken by her kissing him. She’d taken him again, made him hers. He’d never spent a night like that with a woman. There’d been times he thought he’d been in love, but none of his past girlfriends ever made him feel the way he did with her. He shared things with her that he’d never even considered doing with another woman. The memory of her touch was forever ingrained into his memory and on his heart. It killed him to see her crying when he felt so happy.

“Talk to me,” he pleaded.

“I don’t know how.” Her torpid tone and sniffles ate at him.

This wasn’t the woman he taken to bed with him. No, this was an imposter who’d body snatched his Alexis. It had to be. He’d expected to wake once again to another round of great sex, the best he’d ever had, and then spend a day with her before he had to set back out to work the next day. This couldn’t be happening.

“Alexis, please don’t shut me out. Just tell me what I did wrong, so I can fix it.”

She jerked around, facing him. Her red eyes and swollen nose sent another dagger to his chest. “You didn’t do anything wrong. That’s the problem. You’re perfect. Too perfect.” Her hands flung around as she spoke. “I’ve never known anyone to be so sweet, kind, funny, and possessive. Do you know how sexy that shit is?” She scrubbed her hands over her face. “And handsome. You were cute when we were kids, but Jesus, look at you.” Her hands waved up and down his bare chest. “And oh my god, I can’t begin to tell you how you made me feel last night, but Ryan, I’m not the right girl for you. I’m not the right girl for any man.” A new swell of tears left tracks down her cheeks.

Ryan reached up, drying her eyes with the pads of his thumbs. “What makes you think that?”

“Because it’s the truth. If we keep this up, one of two things is going to happen. Either you’ll hurt me or I’ll hurt you. It’s inevitable. Nothing lasts. Look at my parents. They loved each other once and we see how well that turned out.”

“Yeah, but then look at mine. They’ve been married for thirty-eight years and are still happy. You can’t compare us to anyone else.” He brushed her hair back from her face, cupping her cheeks in his hands. “You can only take us one day at a time.”

She sucked in her bottom lip. “But what if this doesn’t work? Then not only do I lose you as a lover but as a friend. I don’t think I can handle that. I already lost you once. I can’t lose you again.”

“And you won’t. You’re not going to lose me. Ever.”

Alexis jumped back, her feet landing on the floor. She started to pace, ripping at her hair. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep. You don’t know what tomorrow holds.”

Ryan moved from the bed, gripping her by the shoulders. “And neither do you. That doesn’t mean we should stop living today because we don’t have a promise for tomorrow.”

“But what if I can’t give you what you want?” she screeched.

“What I want is you!” he yelled back, shaking her slightly. “I want you. Nothing more.”

“What about love? A family? You said you want kids.”

Ryan released her, rushing his fingers through his own hair. “I do want those things. And I’d love them with you, but that doesn’t mean I want them right at this very moment. I want to get to know you again. I want to learn why your brows pinch together when you’re focusing on something really hard, or why you hum that tune all the time, or why you’re always bouncing your knees.” He placed his hand over her chest, feeling her heartbeat against his palm. “I remember the girl, but I want to know what makes the woman tick.”

Alexis looked up at him, her eyelashes soaked with tears. “Why do you want to know those things? Why do you want me?”

He raised his hand, stroking her cheek. “Because you’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. You listed all the qualities you see in me. Well, let me do the same for you.” Ryan led her back to the end of the bed where he sat down.

“In you, I see a beautiful, smart, fiery woman who’s made me feel things I’ve never felt before.” He gripped her by the hips, pulling her between his knees. Her hands landed on his shoulders and his body instantly reacted to the warmth of her skin. “Do you feel that? You do that to me. I’m possessive only with you. I’ve never─and you can ask anyone─been that way with any other woman. You bring it out of me. I want to rip Declan’s head off, and any man for that matter, for even looking at you. You’re mine. From the moment Makenna brought me that silly little compass on the plane, I felt whole again. You make my heart feel whole again.”

“Always and forever,” she whispered.

“Always and forever,” he repeated.

Ryan slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her into his lap. “I’m so sorry,” she cried. “I’ve ruined everything.”

“Not at all. I’m glad you opened up to me, though. You mean everything to me, Lex.”

She lifted her face and wiped the tears from her eyes. “That’s what scares me, because it’s exactly how I feel about you. You’re my world.”