Come to Me Quietly (Closer to You) (24 page)

I felt the moment she let go. “I’m yours,” she mouthed.

And I took. My body strained, pushed, and pled as hers accepted and gave. I rocked into her again and again. I savored the little pants I forced from the depths of her throat, the way her fingers felt as they cut into my skin. Our bodies burned, heat slicking our stomachs and pooling in the valley between her breasts as I moved with her in a way I’d never moved with anyone before. I mean, how many other girls had I been with? I had no clue. Because they were easily forgotten. But this… being with Aly was different, and I knew I’d never forget.

“Fuck, Aly, you feel so good.” So good. Perfect. Almost as if she were truly mine.

With my words, she whimpered, and I gave myself over to her. Pleasure knotted at the base of my spine and spread down the back of my thighs. I throbbed and ecstasy hit. Spasms jerked through my body, every nerve alive. With my face buried in the crook of her neck, I cried out, her name on my tongue the only fucking thing that made any sense. Gasping, I searched for air, smelled the delicious coconut and the good and the girl. I gathered her up, my face still hidden in her warmth, hugged her to me closer than I ever had before.

“Aly” whispered from my mouth.

My Aly.
 

I wound a finger in her hair.

I’d given in, chased after her comfort.

Now there’d be hell to pay.

Jared had made love to me. Completed me.

We lay on our sides, face-to-face, his warm hand cradling the side of my face. “You beautiful girl,” he murmured, kissing me softly.

Emotion swamped me, filled my heart, and expanded my chest.

“Are you okay?” Jared tilted his head back to read my eyes.

I blinked and whispered, “Yes,” because it was the truth. I was perfect, so long as he stayed.

It was a Friday night, and I stood in front of the TV in the living room, playing
DanceStar
. Laughter bubbled up from my gut. Music blared from the speakers set up around the TV. I was in front of it, wondering why I couldn’t get my feet to keep up with my brain as I watched the character dancing on the TV and tried to mirror his steps. I held the controller in my left hand. The glowing sensor bulb at the top seemed like the perfect stand-in mic. Without remorse, I screamed Billy Idol’s “Dancing with Myself” into the prop.

I couldn’t hold a tune. Not to save my life.

But tonight, I just didn’t care.

Megan jumped around beside me. Blond hair whipped dangerously close to my face as she swung her head around, completely offbeat.

Christopher sat directly behind her on the couch, and she bounced back to shake her butt in his face. “It’s your duty to shake your booty,” she sang over my fruitless attempt to win points by keeping in tune with the song, her tiny frame wiggling all over.

Yeah. She and Christopher had been doing shots of tequila in the kitchen.

Christopher covered his face with his hands, laughing so hard he fell to his side on the couch. “Holy hell, you two suck so bad.”

I stuck my tongue out at him, then turned and belted the song even louder near Megan’s face, held the mic between us so she could sing along. Giving up on the choreographed moves, the two of us busted out in some impromptu dance, uninhibited and free.

Laughter overtook the words I tried to sing. I’d really never known joy like this. I’d always been happy, but I’d never known the intense satisfaction that came with being loved. It was something that seeped down into the marrow of my bones and pervaded every fiber of my being.

Not once had he told me, but I knew he did. I felt it, even when it clearly was something impossible for Jared to see. Something he didn’t recognize himself. But I took him for what he was, this beautifully broken boy who deserved every touch I gave while I treasured every single one he returned.

On what had become his side of the couch, he sat nursing a beer, his legs casually stretched out in front of him. Playful blue eyes glinted their amusement as he watched us dance in the middle of the living room.

Almost a month had passed since the first time he made love to me. Every day since had been an exploration of hands and tongues and bodies that couldn’t get enough.

The first time had been overwhelming. Painful. Both physically and emotionally. It was as if something had shifted inside me. Captured me. Changed me.

Emotionally, it still remained the same, this intensity that swept through me like wildfire, though now I’d come to crave that feeling.

But physically… I’d just never understood that anything could feel so good.

Shimmying up to him, I shook my shoulders and lowered myself to get level with his face. He laughed softly as he turned his head to the side. Clearly, he was too embarrassed to continue watching me make a fool of myself. His hand came up to rub at his chin when he lifted his perfect face back to me, accosting me with this coy grin that made my stomach flip. Something about it was so incredibly sexy I was about five seconds from revealing us to Christopher.

I hated hiding us.

All I wanted to do was take him by the face and kiss him.

Instead I settled for taking him by the hand. “Come dance with me,” I shouted over the TV that was turned up much too loud.

Redness colored his face, and that smile tipped up on one side. He shook his head. “Not a chance in hell, Aly. I don’t dance.”

I tugged a little. “Please.”

“Ever,” he added, the word emphatic, though his clear eyes still shone.

“What, you expect me and Megan to stand up here and entertain you two all night? Come on. Please,” I almost whined, yanking at his arm. I guess I’d probably had too much to drink, too. “Please.” This time I squeezed.

He just sat there shaking his head in disbelief, but then he seemed to be shaking his head at himself because he couldn’t believe he was giving in. “Fine.”

Pulling him to his feet, I flashed a victorious smile. With his beer secured in one hand, he loosely threaded his fingers with mine in the other.

I danced around him. Twisting, laughing, singing. That grin was back on his gorgeous face, and he lifted his hand over my head and led me into a twirl. Unrestrained, Jared laughed and spun me some more.

That intense joy wrapped me tight.

He was happy. I could see it. Feel it. God, I wanted it so badly for him, for this man I cared so deeply for to have a chance to heal. I smiled up at him, couldn’t contain what I felt from bursting from my face.

Wiggling in between us, Megan nudged me aside and stole my spot. Jared took a turn twirling her around. She bumped him once with her hip, then dropped his hand and danced toward me.

She knew what was going on between us. A couple of weeks ago, I’d finally confided in her that I slept with him, admitting he came stealing into my room every night. It wasn’t as if she was all that surprised. She said after seeing the two of us together on the Fourth, she didn’t know how it hadn’t happened sooner.

Even though she was drunk, she remained aware, her eyes slanting to me before they quickly shifted to Christopher and back to me.

A warning.

I was being obvious.

Tonight I didn’t know how to care. How could what Jared and I had be wrong?

Still I backed off and turned to take Christopher by the hand, my crazy brother who’d had so much to drink he could barely stand. He didn’t come quite so reluctantly as Jared had. As if Christopher wouldn’t jump at the chance to join in.

Jared wormed his way back to the couch, content to be the spectator to our silliness. The rest of us danced and sang and drank until the night grew deep.

Christopher finally called it quits and staggered back to his room.

I whispered a reluctant “Good night” to Jared before I retreated to my bedroom with Megan. Tonight would be the first night I’d spend without him in so long, but I’d missed my friend. Megan and I used to do this all the time, her hanging out here, staying all night. Christopher had earned a good smack to the back of the head the first time he’d teased us about sleeping together.

She joined me in my room and curled up on her side of the bed with her back pressed to the wall, her cheek resting on her hands.

Sinking onto my side, I smiled at her as I tucked my pillow under my head. “I’m glad you came over tonight. This was a lot of fun.”

“Yeah, it really was.” She bit at her lip. Knowing eyes darted to the door, her voice soft. “You love him, Aly?”

I looked at my best friend, unsure why I’d kept this secret for so long. Unsure why I still did.

“So much,” I whispered. I knew it sounded as if it hurt because, really, it did.

She blinked as if trying to work it out. “You’re different with him.”

I glanced away, then back at her. “Is that good or bad?”

She cringed a little, as if she might not want to answer. “Both, I think. Maybe it’s just that I’ve seen you shut off for so long it’s weird to see you like this. I guess it worries me some.” Her eyes were wide and honest. “I just want you to be happy, that’s all.”

“I am happy.”

She nodded, though worry creased her face. We both fell into silence, lost in thought.

Sleep was quick to overtake her. In no time, her soft snore filled my room.

I stared at the darkened ceiling and tried to find sleep of my own. I should have known my efforts would be fruitless.

Finally I climbed to my feet and tiptoed out into main room. It was pitch-black, the heavy curtains drawn. My eyes adjusted, and I shuffled to the place I knew he would be.

Heavy, burdened breaths filled the room, this anxiety winding through him where he lay just on the cusp of sleep. I knew it because I found him there every night, shaking, twitching, silent in his pain.

I just wanted to take it away.

Slowly, I climbed onto the couch, straddling him at his waist. He jerked up as if in shock, the strong planes of his stomach stretched taut as he lifted his head. Rough hands dug into my hips.

“What are you doing out here?” His voice was all gravelly.

“I missed you,” I said.

I felt his palm come to my face. His fingers traveled up to comb through my hair. “You shouldn’t be out here like this, Aly.”

I leaned down, pressing my hands to the cushions on both sides of his face. “I’m not ashamed of us, Jared,” I whispered urgently toward the shadows that blackened his face.

His hand tightened into a fist in my hair. “You should be.”

Steam filled the bathroom the next day as I took my shower. Sheets of hot water pounded on my shoulders before they cascaded down my back. Rivulets gathered as thin lines that snaked along my legs before they crawled to the shower floor. I lathered my body wash on my loofah and scrubbed it over my skin, breathing in the freshness as the hot water slowly cleared my head.

Megan had left half an hour before.

We’d all slept in, Megan and me stumbling from bed at close to noon. Jared had still been asleep on the couch, his hair sticking up in every direction when he’d lifted his head to throw a frustrated squint at us when we emerged from my room. His pained expression didn’t come close to the one I was sure Megan would be sporting all day. She’d woken with a drawn-out groan, ramming her fists in her eyes to block out the light.

I’d asked her what she expected when she’d consumed half her weight in tequila the night before.

Rinsing the soap from my body, I turned off the shower and blindly fumbled outside the curtain for my towel. I pressed it to my face where it absorbed my contented sigh.

There were few things that felt better than a hot shower.

Redness rushed to the surface of my skin because echoes of Jared’s touch suddenly flooded my mind. Sometimes I didn’t know what do with the thoughts I had about him, the way he made me feel or the things he made me want.

After I dried off, I lathered lotion on my legs and dressed in shorts and a T-shirt. I wiped the fog from the mirror and slowly pulled a brush through my hair. Today was the first Saturday I didn’t have to work in a long time, and I was just looking forward to spending the day with Jared, in whatever capacity that might be.

Someone tapped at the door, and then I heard Christopher. “Hey, Aly, I’m going to run to the grocery store really quick. Do you need anything?”

“Um… more orange juice. I just drank the last of it,” I hollered back.

“Okay, sure.” Then he was gone.

Thirty seconds later, there were two low thuds at the door, the two seconds separating them like a silent plea. That was all it took for my heart to speed. I fumbled with the lock and pulled it open. Jared stood on the other side of the doorway, waiting for me.

He’d seemed irritable this morning, and I thought it was because he had a hangover of his own. But now he seemed edgy. Intently he dragged his gaze down my length, his movements pulsing with uncontained intensity. Hungry. Possessive.

“I didn’t think he’d ever leave.”

There was something about his tone that made my stomach lurch and sent my nerves careening. I shook in impatient apprehension as he crossed the threshold and locked the door behind him.

“I’ve been dying to get you alone all morning,” he said, his voice deep as he swallowed hard. “I need you, Aly, I need you so fucking bad.”

Butterflies swarmed.

That powerful body flattened against mine, one strong hand taking me firmly by the back of the head, the other kneading at my thigh, then splaying over my ass as he pulled me roughly against him.

His mouth owned mine.

Decided and fierce.

Weak-kneed, I emitted a stuttered breath.

Jared pulled back, those blue eyes burning, fire and ice.

His hands encircled my waist. Lifting me up, he propped my bottom on the edge of the bathroom counter, groaning when he ground his body into mine.

I writhed, unable to control what he did to me.

His throat bobbed heavily, and he pulled off my shirt. In the same motion, he took one step back, grabbing the neck of his own shirt and ripping it off over his head. Strength rippled under the colors that bled, that rose at the center of his chest like this beacon that called me home.

I desperately gripped at the lip of the counter, my stomach flexed as I struggled to balance my weight, to balance my senses that Jared had thrown into overdrive. He brazenly looked me over. Tingles spread in a slow blaze and redness bloomed.

“You make me crazy,” he whispered hoarsely as he inched forward, ridding me of my bra before his fingers came out to work the button free on my shorts. Wetting his lips, he tugged them down and slowly dragged them off my legs. He skimmed his hands back up the inside of my thighs.

“I love your legs, Aly. I could spend my entire life wrapped in them.”

And I wanted him to, to spend his life with me, for him to live one he thought himself unworthy of. I wondered if he even realized what he’d said, that his heart spoke of forever just as his mind so clearly promised him this would pass. That this would end.

My spirit thrashed, unsure of which he would hang on to.

I stared up at him, couldn’t look away as his eyes flashed in the vanity lights. His beauty was so strong, his body perfection despite every inner flaw.

Those butterflies flitted and spun, tumbled around in the lowest part of my core.

He twisted his fingers in my panties, and he shed them slowly. My pulse stuttered, my body aching, begging. Once again, it’d taken Jared two seconds to strip me of every ounce of control.