Colour Series Box Set (38 page)

I normally clean myself up here in the office before she sees me, tonight I know she saw the blood spatter all over my shirt and jeans, she did well not to be put off by it. It didn’t change her plans or affect her mood at all she came in here to seduce me tonight and holy shit did she ever. I nearly tripped over my own feet when I walked in and saw her blood red tattoos against my white desk. I’ll not even try to do justice to whatever scrap of lace was covering her, but I’ll say that it had me all but bursting the zip of my jeans. My wife is a little minx when she wants to play naughty.

Wife, I like the word more every day. Lauri’s breathing has evened out and I feel she’s fallen asleep on me. With some difficulty I lift us both off the desk and carry her to bed, I cover and leave her there so I can shower and finish some work. I also want to try and Skype with Callum. I know it’ll have to be much later so I’ll keep busy until I can get him.

The shower washes the filth of today’s murder off my skin. I will replace it when go to Robin tomorrow and have him put two more numbers in my heart. It’s a ritual I’ll never be able to stop as long as I kill. I inhale the heavy steamy air in the shower and allow myself to wonder about Callum. He called me last Monday and said his Pop was missing and he had been summoned home for his own protection. I was to make sure Amya’s identity remained a secret and that she was safe. That was it, all he had said before he was just gone. He left on a private flight from here to the Democratic Republic of Congo where he changed planes and headed home. I’m afraid my friend may never come back. He always said he would die in Africa but my gut feeling says he isn’t coming back and his Pop has had an
accident.
Callum has four half-brothers and four sisters including Amya. The eldest of the ‘real’ sons Neil, will be in charge now. He’s not Callum’s biggest fan. The worst thing is I know I cannot go to Ireland now. I need to be here with my family now, Ireland is just a graveyard of a family I used to have and I life I never got to live. I never want to go back. Not even for Callum.

I throw on some running shorts and walk quietly back to my office through the darkness. I retrieve my bloody clothes and Lauri’s discarded red lace G-string and put it in the washer to remove all the evidence of my day and my night. I settle behind my desk, the desk where I just fucked my wife, the whole office smells of her and it makes me want to sit in here and just breathe her in. I open my laptop and start going through my inbox and sorting the jobs from the junk. I notice an email from Robin which is weird he normally just phones me. It’s a referral for car service. With a simple note saying Lauri shouldn’t be driving her pregnant ass around alone. He has such tact my friend it’s a wonder Amya hasn’t killed him yet. I consider it but Lauri may kick up a huge stink if I tried to make her have a babysitter. I’m about to delete it when something in my gut has my hair standing on end and my skin prickles with the possibilities of what could go wrong. She’s a terrible driver and I send a mail requesting that someone be sent here in the morning and that I need a permanent driver to be assigned to my wife from here on out.

I go to the empty kitchen and make myself a coffee; I am trying very hard to ditch the whiskey just a little. I grab her car keys off the hook at the same so I can lock them in my office safe. I know she is going to be pissed and would drive away herself just to be defiant. Robin is right I need her to be safe if she is pissed so be it, at least she is safe. By the time I am done accepting and declining jobs for the next few weeks I see that Callum is online and I initiate a Skype call to him. He answers quite quickly, sounding tired and he looks ragged, dirty and definitely worse for wear. My friend looks broken, lost and far from home. I miss him, even before he left. I missed him. Something’s changed in Callum after the container went down in the harbour he just wasn’t the same.

“Hey Rowan. How are you doing?” he asks feigning enthusiasm. “I’m better than you look Cal, what’s going on over there? I’m worried about you.” He lets out an audible sigh before he even tries to answer me leaning back in his chair revealing a scraggy beard and hair worse than normal. “Pop’s dead. Rowan. Dead not just gone. He crossed the wrong people this time. Neil is in charge over here and is trying to fix the mess up. Let’s just say that container we disposed of contained someone’s very precious cargo. Pop was a fucking idiot.”

I swallow hard running my hands through my still wet hair I sent that container to the bottom of ocean. “How precious Callum? How much danger am I in?” I try to remain as calm as possible. I know this is not his fault. I feel my foot start to tap and the muscles in my shoulders tense. “Let’s just say that the daughter of a very wealthy Arab was kidnapped by Pops’ men and loaded in that container. When he didn’t give my Pop what he wanted, she paid the price.” There it was again, someone paid the price. Fuck this shit. “Callum this shit better not land on my doorstep. I will fucking kill you.” My anger is simmering and I’m ready to fucking explode through the computer. “Rowan, no one knows you did the job I pinned it on your very dead helper. No one here even believes you are still alive and it’s better that way. Neil is handling this but I can’t come home. This guy knows I made the call that sunk the container. I’m as good as dead until him, and his brothers are dead.” Callum, you stupid fucking asshole. What have you got into with these people?” He changes the subject, pulling his hair back in his fist clearly frustrated. “How is Lauri? I got a very pissy text from her saying she needed me earlier today?” I know she’s still pissed that he missed the wedding so I’m not surprised at all she lashed out at him her moods are a bit on the bipolar scale. “She’s good, we’re good. I think she is still pissed you weren’t here.” He leans back in his chair and lets out a breath. “This seemed like more Rowan. I’m not ready to even try explaining this shit to her or anyone else yet I’m sorry, but if you want too you can tell her what’s going down. I do care about her. And I’m sorry.” I know he was gutted that he missed our wedding it hurt him badly that she was so angry at him. I was so angry. The best fucking day of my life and the closest person I had to a brother skipped the country. We say our goodbyes and I log off Skype. I want to go and hold my wife close; I want more of her every day. I don’t crave the sting of Rob’s needles nearly as much as I crave her touch, her body, all of her.

I drop my shorts on the floor and slide in next to my naked wife and pull her close to me. Her smell fills my lungs as I breathe her in and sleep sucks me away quickly.

***

“STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP
please stop. Please don’t take it from me. Stoooooooooooooop.” I’m woken by Lauri screaming in her sleep. Her whole body is wet with sweat and her muscles tense and she convulses and continues to yell. I’ve never seen her this bad. Her dreams can be bad and do wake her sometimes but this is crazy. I wrap my arms around her flailing ones and try still her by whispering in her ear to try wake her slowly and softly. My heart’s still pounding from the fright of her screams jolting me from my sleep. She slowly stills and the screams become whimpers I brush her hair off her face only to meet with her hollow eyes and tear stained cheeks. She buries her head my chest and whispers “Sorry” before she drifts off again. I’m wide awake. This pregnancy has her remembering a lot of horrendous truths about her marriage to Renzo and I’m worried about her sanity she seems a little fragile. This may all be too much too fast. I need you Lauri; no way can I do this alone, I need all of you please don’t lose your mind now.

I try to sleep but just lie there awake waiting for the sun to rise. When it does, I go upstairs to the gym and let all the anger and frustration over Callum leaving us coupled with Lauri’s nightmares work out of my system the old fashioned way. I force my body to work harder than it can pushing the sweat out of every pore until I have none left. My muscles are stiff, tight and aching, my heart races and my skin’s drenched in sweat.

When I venture downstairs two hours later, Lauri is cooking and it smells like heaven. The sight of her in the kitchen wearing just my shirt makes me happy and I sit on a stool at the counter while she cooks. I better tell her about the driver, she’s going to be pissed. I suck in breath and just spit the words out. “I hired you a driver, I don’t want you driving around alone while you are pregnant.” I shove a piece of the waffle she has just put in front of me in my mouth burning my tongue so I won’t taste the rest of it. “Okay.” I get a one word reply but not the snippy one I expected. I raise my eye brows, okay? No fight just okay. “Okay? You’re not pissed?” I just have to ask because I know full well I may pay for this later. “No. You’re right, but he can drive me in my car. I’m not being chauffeured in some black monster all over the place.” That was easier than I anticipated it being. I have a feeling I may get an explosion or delayed reaction of sorts later on, this seemed too easy.

I AM SLUMPED
over the counter in the dirty little kitchen in the hole of a flat my half-brother Neil has me hidden away in. I just spoke to Rowan on Skype and he’s pissed that he’s even near this mess and I can’t blame him.

We found my Pop this week, well he was sent to us. In pieces, boxed and couriered to his office building over a few days. I don’t have a stomach for things like that. I’m not like Rowan, death, dead things, blood gore and taking lives is not me. My drugs kill enough people to keep my conscience heavy as it is I could never be the end of the line. I should be angry over my Pop’s death, murder whatever it is, but I’m indifferent. Pop was always disappointed in me, raised the bar every time I reached it and he never trusted me because my Ma was who she was. I was whipped out of South Africa faster than I could blink as soon as it came to light that Pop was missing and my involvement came out. I loathe this place. I mean I fucking hate it. I miss the sunshine and clean air and sea. I even miss those dirty gang banging coloureds I had to work with. Mostly I miss Rowan and Lauri. The thing is, this was always the plan, and I won’t be here forever not even for long.

The thing is I run a tight ship, I know the business and the contacts in Africa that Neil will need to keep things going so they do not want me in boxes too. If only everyone knew the truth. I will not be going home in boxes. So now I pretend to hide with a gunman outside my door, the rain pouring outside and nothing but memories of this shitty place filling my brain.

I missed Rowan’s wedding, I know he’s pissed. He always thought that men like us should go it alone, no one to love, no family. He believed it was safer that way, but if I look at all the great crime families all the bosses had wives and children. They all had someone to call home and to love them even though they might just be the devil. They all had someone to leave it all to when they left this earth. Even if he never knew it, Rowan needed Lauri to fix him as much as she needed him to save her. They’re just meant to be. Two crime families joined together with a baby on the way, holy fucking shit would break lose over here if anyone knew that firstly she was alive and secondly she was married to and breeding with Rowan. I need to cut contact with them. No one here knows that Rowan is still around or in the business; he dropped off the face of their earth when Mick died. I need to keep them safe. I know that I’m not going back to Africa, if at all; Neil has made it clear that I’m needed here now that Pop is gone. Neil recognizes my worth to the family business - he may not like me but he needs me. I don’t need him though; I have my own plan to execute.

I’m home, and I fucking hate it. I was so angry when I was sent to Africa years ago like it was the worst punishment in the world. I was wrong. Being back here is.

I crawl onto the dirty damp smelling bed, fuck everything smells manky and wet in here. I try to sleep or at least pass the hours until day light when I can go outside and pretend to live just a little bit. I have to be patient for now, something I am not very good at, I will need a distraction.

When I wake up it is still raining, I hate rain. The cold wet drops pelt against my only window drowning the little light it actually lets in. I down a glass of scotch for breakfast so I can try face another day in my own personal hell. I take a taxi to the cemetery so I can visit my Ma and Cassie, before my presence is required. We plan to bury Pop later today, I should feel sad or cry or something but I feel nothing at all and I think that is worse.