Colorado Wild - Colorado Heart 1 (15 page)

They
escaped the restaurant but not before Lindsay called out, saying good-bye to Tucker. Billy's anger built and the air was strained between them. They pulled out of the parking lot and the silence continued. When they arrived at the feed store Tucker jumped out and tossed the remnants of his cone in a trashcan. Billy followed him inside, picking up the supplies they needed. Midway through shopping they ran into Betsy, a friend of Lindsay's.

"Tucker, I heard you and Lindsay
are going out next week," Betsy said.

"Didn't take her long," Billy grumbled.

"I guess I—I didn't really—

"What, are you saying you aren't going out with her? Is it because she has the kids? You know, those kids are great. You'd love them.
It'd be a real shame if that's why you didn't go out with her. You know, any guy would be lucky to go out with Lindsay, she's a real catch."

Tucker
's face paled as he nodded before wandering off. Billy paid for their purchases and pulled his truck around back to be loaded. He waited for Tucker to come out, his anger rising with each passing second. They stopped by the grocery store, Tucker only talking when he was forced to as they made their way through the store. When he finally turned the truck toward the ranch he was totally wound up and ready to fight.

"You know, you could have just said no and told her you were already seeing someone."

Tucker slouched in his seat. "I'm sorry."

"Are you really?"

"Billy, I'm not ready to be out of the closet."

"You don't have to tell them who. Just tell them that you already have someone. She doesn't know everyone in the world.
It could be anyone as far as she is concerned."

Tucker groaned.
"But I feel like I'm lying."

"You're lying by not saying anything."

"Billy, I'm not actually going out with her."

"You said you would."

"No, she said I would."

His anger twisted tighter, his voice rose.
"You're just leading her on."

"What do you want me to tell her, that I'm gay?" Tucker yelled.

"Are you with me or not?" Billy asked trying to keep his voice even and stop yelling.

They turned down the road to the ranch and
Billy pulled to the side and jammed the truck into park. He hopped out and slammed the door. Tucker crawled out of the truck, his shoulders slumped and his feet shuffling.

"I'm sorry, I should have said something to her but I freaked o
ut. I'm not used to this."

"Used to what?"

Tucker turned, his gaze on the horizon. He looked totally defeated. "I'm not used to being with a guy. I don't think I can do this."

The last words froze Billy in his place. Were they breaking up? He'd loved Tucker for so long and the man was throwing it all away because he felt uncomfortable. His whole body started to shake and his head filled with fuzz.

"Do what?"

"This
. It's too hard. I can't tell people I'm gay."

The ache in his head grew.
"Are you saying you don't want to be with me anymore?"

Tucker spun around, his gaze latching onto Billy's. "No."

The word pierced Billy's heart and he staggered, pain ripping through him. "No? You're ending it?" He turned and stalked off, his heart hurt so much he thought he would die. Billy gasped for breath, each step more painful than the last.

The hand on his shoulder stopped him. He ripped away from Tucker's hold but the man grabbed him again and held him tight
ly. "Don't walk away."

B
illy spun around and growled, "You are."

"No, you misunderstood my answer. No, I'm not saying I don't want to be with you. I'm saying, I can't go out in public and tell people I'm gay. I need time."

"What?" Billy's ears were still buzzing and his muscles shaking.

"I'll never be able to leave you. Don't you get that?"

"No."

"Billy, I'm in love with you. It's hard for me to admit it, but that's how I feel. I don't think I'll be able to run around in public declaring my love
, and I'll need a few passes when I can't figure out how to deal with direct assaults like Lindsay's, but I don't want to lose you."

The information was coming at him too fast. He shook his head, trying to comprehend what Tucker was saying.
"You're not going out with her?"

"Hell no. I'll call her and tell her I'm out of town."
Tucker slid his hand over Billy's shoulder and down his arm. Their fingers twined together and Tucker pulled him close. "I'm new to all of this. Please don't assume that I want anything to do with any girls. I'm just not good at knowing what to say. I need pointers on how to get out of dates without saying I'm gay."

Relief washed over Billy, leaving him weak.
"Okay, I'll help you."

"Billy."

"Yeah?"

"I
think we should make this thing between us more official."

Billy stepped closer to him, s
liding his arm around Tucker's waist. "So you love me?"

"Maybe." Tucker closed the distance between them, his cheek slid against Billy's.

"So now it's just a maybe?"

"Fuck
, Billy, I'm absolutely head over heals about you. I love you so much it hurts."

Billy leaned back, staring at Tucker for a moment before he lifted his hand to trace Tucker's lips.
"I've been in love with you for so long."

"I know." Tucker leaned his forehead against Billy's. "
One day, maybe not soon, but at some point in the future, I'm going to be okay with this—you and I in public and having other people know that we're a couple. Just not yet."

"I'm happy with this, you just have
to promise me that you'll tell the girls you're taken."

"I can do that."

"Thank you."

"We need to get back to the ranch."

"Yeah, let's go."

Tucker held his hand on the way back from the
Wild Bluff, squeezing every so often. When they arrived, they unloaded the truck, putting away the groceries. James and Marshal helped with the feed since Tucker's arm was still stiff.

"Now that that's done, let's go check out Beauty."

"Sure." Billy followed Tucker to the paddock, admiring the view. His man filled out his jeans perfectly, the curve of his ass displayed beautifully.

Tucker looked over his shoulder and stopped. "What were you looking at?"

Billy grinned sheepishly. "Your ass."

"Oh
God, I've never had anyone look at me that way."

"Sure you have, you just didn't notice. I've stared at your ass before. Of course, now I know how sweet that ass is
and it's making me harder than ever."

Tucker spun away from him, his face flaming red. "I can't believe you said that."

Billy grabbed his hand and pushed him up against the side of the barn. He leaned in close, his lips at Tucker's neck. "I plan on doing more than just looking at your ass."

"What do you want to do?" Tucker's voice was
thready, his breath shallow.

"
Mmmm, maybe lick you from here." Billy placed his hand at the top of Tucker's crack then slid lower, almost to the front of his body. "To here."

Tucker shivered and rocked his hips forward. Billy responded by grinding against him. He slanted his mouth across Trucker's, sliding his tongue over the crease of Tuck's lips, begging for entrance. When Tuck opened to him, Billy took the dominant position, tilting Tucker's head back and possessing his mouth. Tuck
er moaned and swayed against him. They needed to move to their bedroom.

"Hey, let's take a look at Beauty later. Right now
, I want to touch you and taste you."

Tucker glanced out to the field, his eyes widened and he shook his head. "Something
's wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"Where's Beauty?"

Billy turned and took a few steps toward the
fence around Beauty's pasture. "I don't see him."

They both moved closer, climbing up on the rail as they searched for their horse. Tucker spied him on the ground. "Fuck, something is wrong."

Without hesitating, Tucker jumped the fence and took off running. Beauty tried to get up but he stayed down, his eyes wide and his nostrils flared. "What do you think is wrong?"

"Not sure." Billy dropped to the ground beside the horse, his hands smoothing over the animal's face.

Tucker looked the animal over, searching for anything that would cause harm. Then he saw it; the horse's leg was swollen near the ankle. He lowered to his knees, brushing his hand over Beauty's upper leg, down to his knee. Beauty tried to stand again, striking out with his legs.

"He's too scared not to hurt you."

Tucker sat back, staying out of the strike zone. "Yeah, I agree. We need to find out what happened."

"Do you think he broke it?"

"No, something else is wrong."

"Fuck, we need to call out the vet." Billy stood and tapped Tucker on the arm twice. "I'll go get Duff."

Tucker smoothed his hand over Beauty's shoulder, murmuring soothing words. He hoped they could do something for their horse. Losing the animal that he and Billy owned together seemed too cruel. Though they hadn't spent much time with the horse, they'd begun discussing plans. Beauty was something for them to build their lives around and he wondered if they'd survive without the horse between them.

It was stupid, but he knew that their relationship was too fragile to withstand pressure. Today had shown him that much.
The wait seemed like hours, but it was closer to five minutes before Billy returned.

"Duff called the veterinarian, he'll be here soon."

"He's so upset." Tucker stroked Beauty's face.

"Just hold his head and get him to relax."

Billy and Tucker stayed with Beauty, letting his head lay on Tucker's lap. The vet, Doctor James, showed up about forty minutes later. He was able to get close to the swollen ankle, touching and prodding. After a brief examination, James turned to them both, relief shown in his eyes.

"You're lucky, it's not broken."

"Really, what's wrong?" Billy asked.

"It looks like he was bit
ten by a snake. Just a freak accident, nothing preventable. The snakes are out—it's warm and your horse just came down near the snake's head. I would suggest that after he heals you put this guy in with some other horses or cows."

"We just got him." Tucker said. "Will he survive?"

"Most likely. Though, he'll never be a race horse with this type of injury."

"We were thinking of breeding him." Billy smoothed his hand down Beauty's neck.

"He's got a good temperament. Of course, that could change as he grows, but he seems calm."

Tucker breathed out in relief. They wouldn’t lose their horse. "What next?"

"I'll give him a shot to reduce the swelling and something to get rid of the infection. He was probably bitten yesterday or day before yesterday and it got infected."

"Oh
." Billy's brows were pinched together, worry evident on his face. "I feel so bad."

"Don't. Really, when a horse gets bit
ten, there's not much you can do. Snakes travel and horses don't necessarily see them."

Billy sat beside Tucker, holding his hand as the vet prepared the medicine. The touch soothed him. Soon, the vet was back by their side, two syringes filled with medicine.

"Hold his head still. He's probably not going to like this." The vet waited for them to get a grip then he delivered both medicines quickly, Beauty only flinching a bit. "Now, we need to get him up." The vet helped them attach a halter and lead. They worked together to get Beauty back on his feet. He limped around acting pathetic. "He probably wouldn’t mind some grain."

"It's okay?" Billy asked.

"Sure is. It's also a great way to deliver his medicine. He'll be on antibiotics for a few days. It might spoil him a bit having all that grain to get his medicine, but he'll get used to not having it after a while."

"Do we need to stay with him tonight?" Tucker asked.

"It would be smart to move him into a stall for the evening. Call me in the morning if it doesn't look better. By tomorrow, I'd say the swelling will be half what it is now. He'll be good. Don't worry. Your boy will be doing great. He looks good too. You picked a good horse."

Billy helped James
clean up as Tucker walked around with Beauty. Eventually, the horse stopped limping and acting so pathetic. He ate a bit of grass and then nuzzled Tucker's pocket.

"I don't have anything for you. You'll have to wait until tomorrow for your treat."

"Talking to the horse now?" Billy asked.