Coconuts and Wonderbras (23 page)

‘You’re going to have to trust me. I’ll tell you everything on a need-to-know basis.’

The soft voice has gone and the ‘I know what’s good for you’ voice is back. Why does everyone treat me like an idiot? First Toby treating me like a fool in front of Serena and now Alex is talking to me like I’m aged seven.

    ‘I’m past trusting men,’ I scoff and for a second I am amazed it is me that has spoken.

A shadow passes across his face and his eyes narrow and then very quickly he is back to normal, attempting to smile.

    ‘I’m not Toby you know. Talking of which, you might like to know he is here in Cambodia.’

Good grief. I am seriously amazed. In the space of one hour I have not only discovered that I actually can arouse the one and only Alex Bryant, the superhero of our times, but that my boyfriend actually does love me. Why else would he be here? The question is do I still love Toby? It is hard to reconcile the Alex Bryant of now to the one who had, only moments ago, kissed me at the kitchen window. He is behaving in a dismissive manner. Any suggestion of romance is pushed from my mind and I remind myself that men like Alex are used to improvising in moments of danger. He has probably kissed many a woman while trying to ascertain the movements of the enemy. He offers to prepare the starter while I change for dinner. I waltz to my room, my mind whirring. Why is Toby here? Surely this must mean he really does care for me. All I can think about is Alex’s kiss. I can no longer deny that I find Alex Bryant very attractive and not only attractive but I also have feelings for him. It is seriously starting to bother me that he may well be in danger. I should try and talk him into flying home with me. Even as I think this I know it will be pointless to attempt as he is very much his own man and nothing I say will change any decisions he has made. I have to admit that his single-mindedness is quite exciting. If only I were more appealing in a ‘Penelope’ way. Surely, he could not possibly kiss like that without some feeling, could he? God I am missing old Orlando. I take my time changing, sensing he wanted to be alone for a while. I have no make-up so pinch my cheeks to redden them and spend a long time on my hair, pulling it up and releasing it until I get so hot that the only way is up. I finally emerge from my room wearing a flowery dress and a lace shawl that Issy had bought me last Christmas. It still smells slightly of Rive Gauche perfume and reminds me of home. The marbled floor is cool under my feet and feels lovely.

He looks up from preparing the table. His eyes linger on me and I feel myself blush. His eyes tell me I had not imagined his feelings for me when he kissed me. I am sure of it, and my heart does a little flutter. The room is wonderfully inviting. The table has been expertly laid for dinner and Alex had used all the best cutlery and wine glasses. Lucky has put decorations around the room. I feel quite moved to know they have done it so I wouldn’t feel I was missing Christmas.

    ‘I have something for you. I meant to give it to you earlier, but, well, things have been a bit busy haven’t they?’

Good Lord, a bit busy is when you are slightly overwhelmed at the office isn’t it? Not when you are kidnapped and rushed to a safe house. I rather think that is a bit more than busy, more like harassed I would say. He hands me a box and I look suspiciously at it.

    ‘Don’t tell me it’s a brooch with a hidden camera, or a James Bond style homing device.
You really shouldn’t have,’ I say, attempting to cover my embarrassment.

    ‘I’m very aware that you gave up a family Christmas to come here. I hope they’re to your taste.’

He must have showered while I was changing for he smells of soap. His hair is slightly damp and tousled. He has bought me a Christmas present and I have bought him sod all. Jamie might have hinted, he must have known, surely. I take the box hesitantly.

    ‘I didn’t buy you anything. In fact, I haven’t bought anybody presents.’

    ‘I didn’t expect anything. Aren’t you going to open that?’ He nods at the box, obviously keen to for me to look inside.

I lift the lid to find two beautiful pearl stud earrings surrounded by diamonds. Not real diamonds of course, at least they surely can’t be. I am about to speak when there is a light tap at the door and Mr Navy walks in. I’m beginning to wish I had a stun gun so I could quickly put Mr Navy out of action for a few minutes. Honestly, talk about bad timing. I mouth a ‘thank you’ and he nods, seemingly pleased. I toss my hair in the manner of Mata Hari and say I am just going to put them on and rush to my room to calm my beating heat and throw cold water on my loins. Honestly, this is getting out of my control. I shall be molesting him over the dinner table at this rate. I survey myself wearing the earrings in the small cracked mirror that hangs on my wall. After studying myself for several minutes, I return to the living area where Lucky is opening all the doors to let in the cool evening air. Bourey arrives with Samnang and they bow to us before handing me several dead chickens which Alex takes with a grateful bow.

I find it difficult to take my eyes off him throughout dinner. He has changed into a white shirt which contrasts beautifully with his tanned skin. His hair is still slightly messy from his earlier shower and his face seems to glow. I have to force my eyes from his lips otherwise I find myself visualising the kiss over and over again until I feel faint. I force my mind back to the conversation in hand.

    ‘Our main task is to promote the book. If that includes making it known internationally that the government here is corrupt so be it. Our position has been compromised but we can still do it with your help,’ Alex says.

I look to the man on my left and shiver slightly. I cannot believe we have invited the head of The People’s Army to our safe house. Samnang smiles at me.

    ‘The food is very good, Lady Libby thank you.’

Mother would be very proud if she heard me being called ‘Lady’ and even more impressed if I showed her the earrings and told her about the kiss. I am beginning to think Issy was right. I need a good shag and preferably one from Alex Bryant. I quickly fan myself and begin to think I may well need smelling salts if I go on like this. On seeing me Alex turns up the fan and smiles, which of course notches up my internal heat even more. I am in danger of spontaneously self-combusting if this continues. I swallow the last of my starter and clear the table.

    ‘Thank you, but Alex prepared this. I can only take responsibility for the main course and dessert.’

It is one of the few times I have said his name and it tastes seductive on my lips. It also seems to have an effect on him. Okay, I kid myself. He licks his lips but that’s probably because they are dry.

    ‘It is very good Alex, may I ask what we are eating?’ asks Samnang, who sounds very gentle but I feel sure he would knife his enemy quicker than I could say Jack Bauer.

    ‘It’s cow’s stomach,’ responds Alex and I feel my own stomach somersault. Oh heavens, I must not throw up over the dinner table. It would most certainly be very unromantic and very unsexy. Jesus, what is he doing feeding us the stomach of a cow? Christ almighty, wasn’t there enough chicken out the back?

    ‘You have our help and our support Alex, but your protection is what I fear. Colonel Pong, as you know, does not wish you here and will continue to do his best to prevent any television appearances by you. My fear is that he will soil your name and I can do nothing to stop that.’

I place the bean chilli onto the table along with the curried potatoes and Alex leans across me to dish it up onto the plates. My breath catches in my throat and I cough slightly. I don’t recall Toby ever having this effect on me, but then, it is impossible to compare Toby with Alex. The only similarity they share is that they both like my cakes.

    ‘I need you to leak Libby’s article onto the Internet. I can’t risk it being traced back to us just yet.’

I hear myself gasp.

    ‘You can’t possibly do that. It needs at least two more drafts and editing and…’ I begin protesting.

    ‘It’s perfect. I read it while you were in the shower,’ says Alex firmly.

Oh Lord, what if Toby sees it. My life won’t be worth living.

    ‘We need to start blitzing the Internet,’ says Alex handing the article to Samnang.

    ‘Consider it done,’ smiles Samnang.

    ‘We are vigilant now,’ says Mr Navy.

    ‘I think you mean vigilante,’ I correct.

    ‘No, he means we must be vigilant. If Pong should discover that we are not prisoners of Mr Navy and Lucky, you can be sure he won’t sit on that information for long. We all, and that includes you Libby, need to be very vigilant. Whatever he tries we need to be ready for him. Always remember, intelligence is the most powerful weapon.’

Any plans I had on eating dessert are well and truly quashed after hearing that little speech.

    ‘Why don’t we just go home?’ I ask, thinking this a very sensible question.

    ‘Because we care about the people here and the country, don’t we?’

Everyone looks at me earnestly and of course I nod. But, do I care about the people here? Mr Navy pushes another plateful of rice at me with a wide smile while Alex looks keenly at me. I accept it with a grateful nod. I guess the truth is that I do care about the people here and I especially care what Alex thinks of me. I am finally beginning to realise that I may seriously be in danger and that Alex Bryant is my protector. What a lovely thought. Maybe I can tell him I feel nervous at night. Madam Zigana has well and truly surpassed herself. I only wish I could remember if she had said there would be two men in my life. Who would have thought it of me, Libby Holmes? I can’t wait to tell Issy.

Issy

    The Magnificent Seven we most certainly are not. I vow never to travel with Libby’s parents ever again. Fenella insists on travelling Business Class and by that I mean she insists
we
travel Business Class. Jamie refuses very delicately, explaining his lover Philippe comes from a very poor background and would be quite uncomfortable travelling Business Class. Fenella is totally bewildered by this.

    ‘But surely, darling, that is all the more reason he would like to travel comfortably. No one will hold it against him being gay and a Flipono if that’s what you mean. In fact, everyone on board will probably think he is a nurse. After all, most Fliponos are aren’t they? Especially the gay ones.’

I raise my eyebrows. What the hell is a Flipono when it’s at home? It sounds like something I would wear on my head.

    ‘I think you mean Filipino,’ I say, in an effort to ease the confusion.

    ‘Oh, I don’t know what you call them dear, but I’m happy to pay the upgrade.’

    ‘Well, maybe not Fluff,’ chips in Libby’s dad.

    ‘The sooner they decide the better,’ snaps Toby. ‘I want to make sure my seat is a fair way from where they’re sitting.’

    ‘Why don’t you book yourself on a homosexual-free flight,’ I hiss.

    ‘Can you do that?’ asks Toby.

    ‘Saints alive, I didn’t know that. I say, how the world’s changing, what?’ says Libby’s father.

    ‘Don’t be silly, Edmund, of course they don’t have special flights for homosexuals. It’s like saying we should have separate planes for coloured people, although that would be a jolly good idea. At least you could be sure of not catching anything,’ sighs Fenella.

I never knew Fenella was such a keen racist.

    ‘It’s kind of illegal these days, to say that kind of thing, Fenella,’ I whisper.

    ‘What kind of thing dear?’

    ‘You know. Things about coloured people and such like. It’s kind of a crime to be racist now.’

She looks amazed.

    ‘When did that happen?’

    ‘About the same time they took the golliwog off the jam jar,’ I say, edging her towards the check-in desk.

    ‘I wondered what happened to that…’

    ‘For Christ’s sake,’ snaps Toby.

    ‘Does anybody know what time Penny left?’ asks Jamie.

    ‘Perhaps I should phone her. I don’t imagine she will want to be seated near a pair of poofs,’ quips Toby as he pulls out his phone. He has Penelope’s phone number? What a sneaky bastard.

    ‘What about that ATO man? Is he on the same flight as us? I think it is important to have some security with us,’ says Jamie.

I couldn’t agree more. In fact no one could be more excited than me that he is coming. I never for one moment imagined he would, and I can’t help thinking this is the man Madam Zigana talked about. After all these are the most unusual circumstances ever. I wish Libs were here so I could tell her. Then again, it is because Libs isn’t here that I met him in the first place.

If checking-in for the flight was not bad enough the flight was even worse. Penelope insisted on being moved from her Business Class seat because she didn’t want to sit anywhere near the ‘traitor’s parents’. Although her confidence that Alex is okay and will be released shortly was reassuring for me and Lib’s parents. Toby, meanwhile, seemed to invent every excuse possible to pop through to Business Class and it wasn’t to see Fenella or Edmund.

    ‘He’s such a wanker,’ complains Jamie. ‘Why did he have to come?’

    ‘Apparently, because he wants to propose to Libby, because he really loves her don’t you know?’ I say sarcastically.

I so wish Libs had more confidence. Then she would see Toby for the arse that he is.

The ATO’s name is Jonathan and he really is a dream boat. I manage to swap seats so I can sit beside him. He is lovely and not married. At least he is not married any more having recently divorced. What a stroke of luck, or I should say fate. I wonder if Libs has met the man of her dreams as Madam Zigana predicted.

    ‘We’re so lucky to have you with us,’ I say, truly meaning it.

    ‘Indeed,’ he responds.

I’m learning he is a man of few words. Oh well, who wants a man who talks all the time anyway?

    ‘I do hope Libs is okay,’ I say voicing my inner fears.

    ‘If she’s not safe with Ace Bryant, she won’t be safe with anyone,’ he says tersely. I feel comforted in an odd way.