Cleats in Clay (37 page)

I know you have spent the last months utterly pissed at me because of the things I’ve kept from you. And I know it will be at least a year after finding this note before you can appreciate my final gift. Right now, you probably don’t even want to look at them, but eventually you will.

I’m not sure when you might see this note. The window of possibility is open from as early as April to as late as August, depending on how things roll out.

But, if Tuck is the one reading this to you, then even though Tuck may disagree as he rubs his cast, things really have rolled out by the best scenario.

I’ve really hated keeping all this secret from you. So many days, I had to fight not to spill my guts about the aneurism or my visions. But Sharon helped keep me on track. Not so much directly, but the memory of how it changed our relationship back when I had that weak moment and spilled everything to her back in high school kept me steady.

Right now, you’re probably craving answers. Most of those answers will be buried somewhere in my journals. (Yes, I know,
another
fucking secret, I bet you’re thinking)

Please don’t blame Sharon or Ivette, they don’t deserve it, and know very little, actually. So leave the poor girls alone.
Just as background, you should read the first three red notebooks before looking at any others. Most of the time, you don’t, though. I only see Tuck, Odis, and sometimes Sharon reading those. But I wish you would.
If this is April or May as you read it (or should I say, as Tuck reads it K that seems to happen in most early scenarios), I know your biggest bone of contention is how I could allow April 3 to happen. I know that will have been a horrible day for you, but you’ll have to trust me. Maybe after you read some of the past journals and you see some of my past decisions and consequences, you’ll be more willing to put faith in me. But April 3
had
to happen. Any attempt to forestall or avoid it leads to a much worse disaster because of the gears already in motion.
I guess I need to back up a little on that explanation. When I took my little road trip in August (Tuck: July-August of six years ago, in the yellow three-ring binder is where to find details about our little “accident”… I know you’re anxious to read about it), I confirmed then how integral Tuck was to a life with you and Odis. Dammit, I’m getting sidetracked. I’ll have to get back to those two later.
Anyway, on my road trip in August, I ran into a squirrelly dude, Carl Travie, at the gas station on my way out of town. When I touched his arm, I saw all the details of April. As Tuck would put it, there’s a fox in the henhouse of the Sheriff’s Department. Carl is actually a cousin of the Thursons who set himself up to be their “inside man” with the law enforcement office. If April 3 doesn’t happen, later evidence will surface of Carl’s duplicity, leading to May 7, a
very
bad day. Trying to confront Carl results in a hostage situation that spirals out of control and leads to five deaths, one of them very close to home.
Also, if the fire doesn’t happen on April 3, a much worse one will spark on May 14, with strong winds blowing from the west, as they tend to do in the summer months, and parts of the town will succumb. The charred ground seems to keep that one from starting.
So please trust me. April 3
is
the best scenario.
Okay, I’m sure by now thoughts of Ricky have crossed your mind. Especially if you’ve already had your little heart-to-heart with Tuck (I only see Odis there about half the time). Anyway, your suspicions are right. I did see it coming. But like so many of these other situations, we were caught up in gears already in motion. Nothing you did could have prevented that outcome. The details might have been slightly different, but it seems Ricky was destined to take his own life.
By the time we met on June 3, Ricky’s psyche was already damaged beyond repair. Gerry gets sole blame for that. His manipulations and abuse left Ricky so battered and broken, Ricky couldn’t see any other way out.
And don’t worry, it will all catch up with Gerry in June. His latest victim won’t be as scarred, cajoled, or intimidated as the others, and he gets the word out about Gerry’s predatory truth.
Once Gerry is no longer at the house, you will have an opportunity to mend some bridges with your mother. But don’t expect too much. Gerry has been feeding her bullshit for the last twenty-five years, leaving her saturated with poison. I’m sorry it won’t result in more. Try not to set yourself up to get hurt again.
Okay, back to Odis and Tuck.
I’ve never in my life seen a bigger mess than those two. They’re like star-crossed lovers five times over. Even Shakespeare would have thrown up his hands at dealing with them.
So, you’re probably wondering how all this even came about. Well, from the second I walked into that Key West gallery and saw Odis, I had an image of you two (Odis and Bobby, in case Tuck is reading this) along with that stupid rune stuck in my head. That rune plagued me and nagged at me like an evil spirit. After talking to Odis, I also saw Tuck. It took some time for me to realize the rune was speaking of unity between the three of you.

But the whole thing was such a complicated quagmire. I did my best to set things up for you to meet Odis first and provide some hints to guide you along the way (by the way, hope you enjoyed the Arvin book, I found it strangely comforting. Don’t let Odis read it, though; just trust me on that).

I can only hope things work out. I still see a 5 percent chance that you meet Tuck first, which will complicate matters a bit, but it should still be workable.

If things take one of those twists and you don’t find this until July or August, your concerns will be of a much different variety. I can only say, I tried to deal with Mother as best I could, and trying to get you away from the business is for your own sake. I don’t see anything but misery ahead for you if you stay in Boston. You
have
to get your ass out of here. If Texas is screwed (and don’t give up on it too soon, Odis is stubborn but not stupid, and Gertie can be a strong ally), then look to Denver. Follow that lawyer kid’s lead to Colorado.

Well, I guess this is it. I’ve always kept my promise to look out for you, and I still am, by steering you in the best possible direction after I’m gone.

I wish I was there to give my Buzzer a warm hug when I say thank you. I sincerely mean that. Thank you for letting me have a more or less normal life, and I will always love you with all that my heart has to give.

You never failed to leave me the space I needed, to be who I needed to be. Don’t ever forget to do that. Your future lovers will need it as much as I did.

Hugs and Kisses Forever,
Nathan Ichabod Price
P.S.: I left you something in the attic.

J
ACKSON
C
ORDD
first attempted writing in junior high, when he put together an eight-page comic book. His lack of drawing skills doomed the work to failure, though. In high school, he learned to rely on the words alone and placed third in a regional short story contest his senior year. (He still feels he didn’t get first place only because of the homoerotic elements).
To get a steady paycheck, he works in the software industry writing and proofreading programs and manuals, but he returns to weaving the tales of his hunky fantasy men at night.
Visit Jackson on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id= 100003616877972.