Clanless (5 page)

Was?

His throat tightened into knots.
No no no no no
…

“Joshua was still asleep when I left them, but Tess said his heart sounded fine and his breathing was normal. I set them up with plenty of provisions. With Eva’s help, they’ll have an easy time tracking the Nameless once the boy is awake.”

Yes, if they survive the wilderness and the wild men that inhabit the mountain.

The trail ended at the foot of a rock wall that soared at least thirty feet above the ground. Gryphon wasn’t surprised when the Raven began to scale the rock. They reached for hand and footholds with the ease of a child climbing a generous tree.

“What about … ” Gryphon couldn’t even utter her name. He clamped his mouth shut and fought the paralyzing tightness in his throat. He and Gabe were the last to start the climb. Gryphon felt his body go through the motions of gripping the rock with hands and feet as he pushed with his legs and pulled with his arms to scale the rock. Gabe kept pace next to him.

Clinging to the wall, fifteen feet in the air, Gabe stopped climbing. The corners of his mouth drooped. He stared straight ahead at the rock, as if ashamed. “I’m sorry.” A pause. “It never would have worked between you and Zo. You would have always reminded her of the soldiers who raided her home and killed her parents.” The muscles in Gabe’s neck flexed.

Gryphon’s arms shook from supporting his weight.

The thin hope that Zo was still alive snapped. Reality hit Gryphon like a blow to the stomach. Ajax had actually followed orders and killed her. He likely hadn’t had a choice. Gryphon tried to swallow, but he couldn’t force down the lump in his throat. His eyes clouded, distorting his vision as he reached for the next handhold. He blinked away a tear that leaked down the corner of his face, and searched blindly for a grip. His fingers slipped and he fell.

His body relaxed in the air, accepting the impact of the ground against his back like a gift. His head smacked against the rock with a hard
thump.
He gasped and sputtered, blind and foolish, like an infant learning how to draw breath in the wind.

Gone. How could she be gone? The cold fact didn’t fit within the structure of his reasoning. It cut a fissure into the crust of his consciousness. Gryphon buried his fists into his eyes and yelled at nothing and everything. He rolled onto his side, pushing away an offered hand and ran at the trunk of the nearest tree. His chest and shoulder connected with the tree first. His arms wrapped around the trunk, his feet dug trenches into the ground as he pushed and pushed against the thick wood. Rough bark bit into his skin. No matter how hard he pumped his legs, no matter how hard he tried to rid himself of the truth, the tree wouldn’t budge. Not even an inch.

That was the cruelty of life. No matter his efforts, he couldn’t make the wind blow a different direction or the waves stand still or the mountains part. So many of his problems could be solved with a little more force, an extra training session, or sheer strength of will. But Gryphon couldn’t control this, couldn’t fight it away, not even with all his substantial strength.

He collapsed on the ground, grabbed two fistfuls of hair, and wept like a child with Gabe at his side and the Raven warriors watching in confused, silent awe.

Zo was dead. Nothing but his grief mattered.

When morning finally came, Joshua opened his eyes for the first time in days.

“He’s awake! He’s awake!” said Tess. She knelt next to him, bobbing up and down on her knees like a bumblebee tethered to the ground.

Joshua groaned and pushed up to rest on his elbows. “What happened? Where am I?” His wiry chest was bare. The scar on his abdomen was still crusted over, but the skin around the wound bragged a healthy peach hue. “Where are Gryphon and Gabe?” He looked at Eva then over to Zo. “What is Eva doing here?”

Zo and Tess didn’t bother answering any of his questions before wrapping him into a hug. Tess openly wept, and Zo found herself jealous for the chance to express her relief without falling apart.

She pressed her forehead into Joshua’s and held it there as she looked into his eyes. “I see you, Joshua.”

“Umm.” Joshua grinned. “I see you too. Quite well, actually.”

Tess rolled around in a fit of giggles.

“What am I missing?” said Joshua.

Zo pulled away and tapped the end of the boy’s nose with the tip of her finger. “Sorry. It’s an old Wolf custom. Eyes are the windows to the soul. I was greeting your inner light. Acknowledging your spirit.” Zo shook her head and smiled. “It has been so long since I’ve been able to be a Wolf. I couldn’t help myself.”

Thirteen-year-old Joshua fingered the two-inch scar on his stomach and a violent shiver rolled over his skin. “All I remember was fighting you in the ring, Zo. I didn’t know how to protect you.” He paused and swallowed a lump in his throat causing his Adam’s apple to jump. He’d stabbed himself in the stomach to save her life, a rash decision made because only one person could leave the ring alive. “Why didn’t I die?” He reached out and held Zo’s hand. “How did you save me?”

Zo didn’t really understand everything herself. After Joshua tried to take his own life in the ring, Zo had been desperate to use her skills as a healer to save him. In the healing blessing, heat like fire formed beneath her hands and rolled up her arms and into her chest. If someone hadn’t helped her sever the connection, she might have been consumed by the heat.

For Joshua, Zo was willing to take the risk, but it had cost her something that went beyond simply feeling dizzy all of the time. The muted energy she relied on to heal others didn’t seem to hum beneath her skin as it once had. She’d never realized the energy was there until, after healing Joshua, the heat was gone—leaving only emptiness behind.

Zo held Joshua’s hand as she explained their flight out of the Gate. She pushed away the image of Gabe half-carrying Joshua while Gryphon stayed behind to disable the Gate’s pulley system. She’d trusted Gryphon completely—he didn’t know how to fail. It had made Zo feel invincible knowing Gryphon was on their side.

Zo cut off the train of thought before it grew into something she couldn’t control. She told Joshua about the hundreds of Nameless refugees that now roamed the dangerous hills without resources and without a guide to the only place they would find safe refuge—the Allied Camp.

“So Gryphon and Gabe are off to warn the Raven?” said Joshua.

Eva said, “Actually—”

“Yes,” Zo cut in, ignoring Eva’s stern expression. Gryphon was Joshua’s mentor and the closest thing he had to family. She couldn’t bear to watch him suffer, not after everything he’d endured. They’d tell him the truth eventually, but not yet.

“I should be with them. They’ll need my help evacuating the Raven,” said Joshua. His voice frequently changed octaves despite his efforts to prove his Ram manhood.

“I’m sure Gryphon,” she stuttered his name, “thought we’d need you here.”

Joshua nodded, his pale skin a little too translucent for Zo’s liking. “You’re probably right.”

Zo checked his pulse and listened to his heart. Her vision tilted to the right and then the left, as if she were on a rocking ship. Meanwhile Eva began rolling blankets and securing packs. “What are you doing?” said Zo as she pinched the skin on the back of Joshua’s hand to check his hydration level.

“The boy’s awake. We’ll be leaving soon,” said Eva.

Joshua raised a hand in question. “Did she just call me a boy?”

“He just woke up. He needs more time.” What Zo really meant was,
I need more time
. This tree was special. Under these boughs Gryphon had held her. Kissed her. It was her last connection to him and she didn’t want to give it up.

Lock your heart, Zo.

“I don’t need more time,” said Joshua. “I actually feel kind of amazing.”

“You’re sure?”

Joshua turned over and did a quick set of push-ups on his fists to illustrate his point. “I just hope you ladies can keep up.” His grin spread the length of his face.

Joshua had endured so much. Zo needed to protect him from learning the truth about Gryphon. At least for a time.

Eva shook her head in disappointment, and crawled out from under the tree with the others, leaving Zo with only her deception for company.

Gryphon should have killed Zander before making his escape. Revenge demanded it. But his vengeance wouldn’t end there. Zo was so innocent, and so much better than Zander, that the old adage of a life for a life didn’t apply.

Ajax. His brother. His best friend in this world. The man who’d helped him escape death. He needed to die as well for following Zander’s orders.

How quickly adoration turned to hatred.

As soon as he kept his promise to Zo and helped the Raven evacuate their hidden home, he’d track Zander and Ajax down. The hunter would become the hunted and justice would be served.

Gryphon kept pace with the rest of the men, barely aware of his surroundings. He followed, but his desire to save these savages who hated him didn’t seem to mean as much without Zo. With her death, he realized something disappointing about himself: he was selfish.

Zo’s mere existence made him challenge everything he believed about people outside Ram’s Gate. One look from her and he wanted to be better than he was. He wanted to prove that his people weren’t the monsters she believed them to be. Not all of them. Not him. Now he didn’t know what to believe.

They ran for the better part of three days. Gabe and the Raven didn’t seem to ever tire. By the time they stopped at the base of an enormous tree, Gryphon nearly collapsed at their feet.

“These Birds know how to travel,” Gryphon wheezed beside Gabe. They hadn’t spoken since Gryphon had learned about Zo. Neither wanted to discuss their loss. Or their future.

“They’re smaller than you. Lighter. Faster. You might beat them in a fight, but you have to catch them first,” Gabe said, panting

Gryphon nodded because it used less air to do so. He pointed at the line the Raven had formed to climb a tree using man-made pegs spiraling up its thick trunk.

“What’s up there?” Gryphon gestured to dense canopy above.

Gabe smiled. “You’ll see.”

Gryphon climbed the tree last. The pegs were made of sturdy wood and so natural looking he doubted he would have spotted them on one of his routine excursions with his mess unit. The curling climb went slowly. The higher he ascended the more the ground seemed to spin, jumping up and back with nauseating inconsistency. His legs shook by the time he broke through the thick canopy high above the ground and dropped to a platform made of wooden planks. Branches of the monstrous tree jutted through the floor. “I think I might be sick,” said Gryphon.

Around him, nearly fifty Raven smirked at his condition, and even Gabe nudged him with a stupid grin on his face. “You’re sort of pathetic,” he said. “I think it does everyone good to see you this way. The mighty Ram as green-faced as a tree nymph.”

“Remind me again why I’m doing this?” Gryphon groaned as he pushed up into a seated position. “Whoa.” Whatever smart remark he was about to make dissolved on his tongue as he stared out at the network of bridges connecting the thick forest of trees, bridges invisible from the ground below.

The leader of the Raven Flock offered Gryphon a hand to help him stand. His grip was almost too firm, as though he’d rather yank him over the side of the platform than anything else. “We travel above ground the rest of the way. It’s the only way to reach the Nest.” He pulled Gryphon closer, glaring. “This is your last chance to turn back. I promise you, once we reach the Nest you will never be permitted to leave alive.”

Gryphon considered climbing back down the tree. He’d warned the Raven. Why force his help upon people who’d likely kill him for trying? If he hurried, he might be able to track down Zander and Ajax. After exacting his revenge, he’d be free to seek out Joshua and the rest of the Nameless at the Allied Camp. He’d need to arm himself with more than a small dagger …

Gryphon dropped his head, thinking about Zo. About her panic at hearing the Ram’s plans to attack the Raven. Leaving now would be giving up on her desperate drive for peace. He was the only one with Ram experience. If the Raven Chief didn’t take Gabe’s warning seriously, a massacre would ensue.