Chronicles of Logos Quest For the Kingdom Parts IV, V, VI, and VII Revised With Index (Quest For the Kingdom Set) (62 page)

Felicia
fretted in her luxurious rooms in the grand villa allotted to the Minister of
State and his family. She paced back and forth, distraught by the news that
emerged each day from the Imperial Palace, news that convinced her that an evil
day had arisen not only for the Valeriun Empire, but for the Kingdom as well.

It was clear
that the reign of Iacomus Cornelius would be one of terror. Already the numbers
on the roll call of martyrs had escalated, and she found herself weeping as the
atrocities against the innocent were revealed. It was horrifying enough when
Iacomus had persecuted the Alexandrians, sending many into exile, death, or
imprisonment. But now it was far worse.

Felicia had
doubted her own hearing when she first heard that Iacomus had died, been raised
from the dead, and made the incredible proclamation that Dominio must be
worshiped by all citizens of the Empire or suffer death as a heretic. And she
recalled the prophetic word she had given to her parents: it was the miraculous
raising of the dead it referred to, and not the man who had erroneously been
assumed to have died. The prophecy pertained to the future and not the past, as
she had thought. And it was not of the persecution of the Alexandrians that it
foretold of, but the forced worship of Dominio and the burning of the heretics.

And with that
realization came fear. It was now evident to her that the Emperor had crossed
the line from a ruthless despot into a madman who attempted to play God. For
what could be more frightening than that?

It was the
custom for her and Antonius to share meals with his parents, as they were
staying as their guests. But Felicia was not happy with this arrangement, and
her young husband soon shared that discontent. The more that they witnessed of
the Emperor’s cruelty, the harder it was to remain in an official residence as
a guest of the Empire.

“We must seek
another arrangement if we are to stay here,” Felicia told her husband. “I can
not bear to partake of the hospitality of such a man.”

Antonius
nodded his head in agreement, albeit with a distracted air. She realized that
something weighed on his mind.

“What is the
matter, Antonius?”

“I am trying
to determine what would be the best way to approach the Emperor about his
misguided beliefs,” he answered as he sighed heavily.

Antonius
slouched his shoulders slightly and rubbed the back of his neck in a gesture of
weariness that wrung Felicia’s heart. She reached out a hand to stroke the line
that suddenly appeared between his eyes as his frown of concentration deepened.
How could Antonius believe that anyone could reach the Emperor at this point?
He seemed truly beyond reason as far as Felicia could observe.

“Surely there
must be some way to reason with him, to make him see the error of his beliefs,”
Antonius assured her. “Yet I am at a loss to know how to proceed. If only I had
something to stand on, a way to back up my words to him, then I could be
assured of victory.”

Felicia smiled
at him tenderly. How like her gentle and innocent Antonius! She stroked his
cheek gently before placing it against her own.

“If you had
Logos you could perhaps persuade him. But you can not do that because Logos is
now in the Emperor’s hands, and who knows to what evil purposes he will use it
against the citizens of Valerium!”

The frown
returned to Antonius’ young face. He remembered the words of Tullia Maximus
last summer; that Logos had been stolen from Marcus through the carelessness of
Lucius, and was now in the hands of violent men. Why had she said
men
,
referring to more than one man, when the Emperor was in sole possession of it?
It was a question over which he had puzzled occasionally since the incident
occurred.

It was a
question that he at last put to his wife.

“Felicia, I
have been puzzled over something since last summer,” he began, hesitantly
feeling for words. “Your mother said that Logos was taken through the carelessness
of Lucius, and was now in the hands of violent men. And I have wondered: how
was Logos stolen, and who took it? And how did it fall into the hands of
Emperor Iacomus?”

But to his
questions Felicia had no answers, except the unspoken fears that had begun to
fill her heart, and which must never be spoken aloud to her husband.

It was her
father-in-law that worried her, she admitted to herself. There was some mystery
about Decimus Hadrianus, something that she had never been told. Not until she
had seen the vision in the eyes of Kyrene had she known that he killed a man,
and before Kyrene left for Eirinia Felicia got the truth out of her.

Yes, it was
true, Kyrene said. Decimus had killed Felix Lucius, but it was an accident.

Kyrene did not
tell Felicia that his intended target had been her mother Tullia, or that
Decimus had abducted her when she refused his marriage proposal and held her
captive in a ruthless attempt to make her change her mind. Kyrene sensed that
Marcus and Tullia would not wish their daughter to know this information in
light of the fact that Decimus was now her father-in-law, and such knowledge
would put an unbearable strain upon her marriage.

So it was from
Decimus himself that she had extracted what she needed to know when she persuaded
him to release Felix’ father from prison…

“You killed
his son, Felix, for whom I am named,” she had stated in a calm manner that hid
her own astonishment that one she knew and who was now related to her by
marriage could have perpetrated so violent a crime.

Upon hearing
her words Decimus had turned red, but not with anger. She perceived his
mortification that she knew of this wicked deed buried in the distant past, now
come back to haunt him. For a moment he looked at her in silence, and took a
deep breath before he addressed her.

“Who told
you?” he asked brusquely. “Was it your father when you told him you were
married to my son?”

Felicia shook
her head slowly and never took her eyes from his face. She perceived suddenly
that there was some animosity between this man and her father, something that
she had never been told, the knowledge of which was now of vital importance to
her future.

“No,” she
said. “My father never said a word to me about you. I know nothing about you or
your past. It was only when I saw a vision of you stabbing a man in the eyes of
a seer that I discovered this deed. I demanded the truth from her, and all she
gave me was the name of the man. She said it had been an accident, and if you
tell me that I will believe you, Father. Perhaps you should tell me in your own
words what happened.”

She stared at
him and waited for him to regain his composure, for it was evident that he was
startled at her statement.

“A seer?” he
questioned. “I do not believe in such things. However, I know that you can not
lie, daughter, so I will accept your explanation.”

Decimus closed
his eyes suddenly, and paused before continuing. He appeared to be revisiting
that long ago day when he had snuffed out the life of another…

At last he
opened his eyes, and looked into Felicia’s with a sadness she had not expected
from one who had been capable of taking a life.

“Yes, I did
kill him. But your seer was right: it
was
an accident. I did not even
know the man, had never seen him before that day.”

Here Decimus
paused and to Felicia it seemed that he was reluctant to proceed. Her
bewilderment only increased at his statement.

“But if you
did not know him, how did you happen to kill him? I do not understand how such
a thing is possible.”

She raised
confused eyes to his reddened face, and for Decimus it was his undoing. Without
warning his façade crumbled and he covered his face as tears crept down his
face. The only sound in the room was the sound of his stifled sobs as he
attempted to regain his customary bravado. It was a very long moment before he
succeeded, and continued with his story.

He looked
Felicia directly in the eye and continued, not wavering now until the end.

“I killed him
by accident, but that is because he came between me and another. And I would
have killed that other in a fit of rage, furious as I was and wanting revenge
for the pain in my heart, the pain that other inflicted on me as carelessly as
if my heart was only a toy that she had wearied of after playing with it as
thoughtlessly as a child plays with a doll. She made me love her and then she
rejected me when I asked her to be mine.”

Felicia gasped
suddenly, afraid with an unreasoning fear for Decimus to continue. He
could
not mean…

As if hearing
her silent thought, Decimus nodded his head.

“Yes, Felicia,”
he said in a weary voice that threatened to bury her beneath its weight, “it is
your mother I refer to, and Felix came between us to save her from me.

“Now, can you
still look at me with the same affection and call me Father?”

It was not
until much later, after Decimus had agreed to help her release Justus from
prison, that she began to wonder whether he had stolen Logos to take to the
Emperor. For who else had better access to it than he, who would also have the
motive of serving Iacomus and hurting her father at the same time?

And for
Felicia, both secrets must be hidden from Antonius, for fear that he would turn
against the father he thought he knew, and whom he loved so dearly.

That Judoc had
a difficult decision to make Cort knew only too well. True to his promise to
Dag, he had returned to Eirinia to give her the news of his enforced stay in
Valerium as a miracle man of sorts to the Emperor. And now she must decide
whether to go to him in Valerium at the Emperor’s invitation, or stay in
Eirinia at her husband’s command. Cort also felt she would be safer in Eirinia
than in Valerium.

He did not
know why he felt this way; and yet he did. That the atmosphere in Eirinia had
worsened was almost tangible, he felt that he could reach out and touch an evil
presence if one stood directly before him. But Judoc was a native of Eirinia
and an Alexandrian as well. She would know how to deal with an evil spirit
should one be so luckless as to encounter her.

It was Emperor
Iacomus that gave Cort grave misgivings, and made him fear for Judoc should she
accept his invitation and travel to Potentus to be with her husband. He knew
that a woman’s place was by the side of her husband, but knew also that Dag was
being held in Potentus against his will and was as much a prisoner now as he
had been before. What use could the Emperor make of his family against Dag if
they joined him?

A family
council was held, and Cort was not surprised when Judoc announced that she
would go to Dag and take Brand and Nolwenn with her. She decided that Dirk
would be needed on the farm to care for it in his father’s absence and
therefore must remain in Leith. She looked hesitantly at Maelys, who was
rapidly becoming a woman and might wish to have a say in her own fate. Judoc
turned to her and raised an eyebrow in silent question.

“And you,
Maelys? What do you wish to do; come with me to Valerium or stay here with
Dirk? I leave it to you to decide.”

Maelys flashed
a grateful smile at her mother and their eyes clung together in tender
affection. Before she could give her an answer, however, Nolwenn erupted in
protest.

“But I do not
wish to go to Valerium, Mother! I should not like leaving Eirinia and would be
lost in a big city. May I not stay here and look after Dirk while you are gone?
He will need someone to cook and keep house for him; and I can do that quite
well.”

Nolwenn
pleaded with her eyes, and Judoc considered her plea. Cort knew that Nolwenn
did not really care how Dirk fared in their mother’s absence, but instinct told
him to stay out of it and leave it to settle themselves.

It was Maelys,
however, who settled it.

“How touching
that you should exhibit such a tender concern for your brother, Nolwenn. But I
shall be able to fulfill that duty in Mother’s absence. I would advise you to
go to Valerium with her and Brand. It will do you good to see the world beyond
Eirinia.”

Nolwenn glared
openly at Maelys who stared back with an unmistakable air of challenge in her
blue eyes. The younger girl was not so easily deterred, and persisted in her
chosen course.

She turned
back to Judoc.

“But, Mother,
I am also concerned about little Gwenaelle. What if Melisande should fall ill
while we are away? Who will look after the baby? I feel I must be here, for I
promised Melisande that I would take care of Gwenaelle if anything should
happen to her. And one must always keep one’s promises; you taught me that.”

Judoc could
not argue with that statement, and it was true that a promise must be kept. To
break one was a violation of all that was held sacred among the Eirini as well
as all civilized people. She had misgivings about leaving her youngest daughter
behind, but trusted Dirk to look after her.

“Very well,
Nolwenn,” she answered over the protests of Maelys which she cut off with a
wave of her hand. “You may stay here with your brother and sister while I go to
your father.”

Before she
could depart, Cort had a long talk with her in private. He did not know how
much longer he could remain in Eirinia, and suddenly he wanted to thank from
the heart the woman who had raised him as her own.

“Mother, I can
not keep on here,” he said soberly one evening as they sat before the fire
together in his hut.

His brothers
and sisters were in the family hut, where they had invited Kyrene and Lucius
for an evening of games and telling of tales to while away the winter evening.
It was a favorite pastime of the Adalbart family, and they gathered to hear
stories of the Eirini and Trekur Lender peoples, that they might better
understand their heritage handed down from their parents. Such evenings usually
included singing old folk songs as well, and Judoc’s lilting voice was a
feature of those times, accompanied by Dirk on the pipes and Maelys on a
stringed instrument called a gavreen.

Tonight they
would have to do without the sweet voice of Judoc, who was meeting with her
eldest son.

“I must leave
very soon, that I may set about the task that Dominio would have me do,” Cort
said, turning his gaze from the dismay in Judoc’s eyes.

“Oh no, your
place is
here
,” she protested. “I can not imagine you leaving again. I
understand it was necessary for a while, due to your friction with Melisande,
but you can not allow that to take you from your family, Cort.”

Cort drew his
chair closer to hers and took her hands in his.

“Mother, it is
not because of Melisande that I must leave. I do not belong here anymore. My
travels only confirmed it to me. How good it was to take off into the unknown,
and visit places I have never seen before. It is time for a change for me, and
Siv agrees. We must go.”

Judoc’s keen
blue eyes filled with tears and she clutched at Cort’s hands still entwined in
hers.

“But what of
your father, Cort? He needs you, especially now. You can not leave him to be a
prisoner of the Emperor, comfortable though his cage may be.”

“No, I can
not,” Cort agreed. “Therefore I will delay leaving until he is released; in
fact, I shall go to Valerium with you to escort you safely. But after he is
free of Valerium I shall journey on.

“Before I do
that I wish to tell you how grateful I am for all of the love and support you
gave me over the years. You truly have been as a mother to me, and I can not
thank you enough for all that you did for me.”

Here he raised
her hand to his lips and kissed it, and Judoc broke down and wept. She kissed
his hand and her falling tears bathed it in a warm shower of love that moved
him deeply. He would not, however, let it dissuade him from his decision.

“Mother, do
not weep. It is time for me to go. I was never really your child, or Dag’s
child. Although you have been as parents to me, I must find my own home now. If
I do not leave, Dirk will never become to Dag what he should be, because I will
always be in the way, always called the eldest son. When in truth, I am not
truly his son at all.”

His words fell
heavy on the air and there was a long silence. The flames from the fire cast
flickering shadows on the wall and touched Judoc’s face. Her eyes became thoughtful
although the sadness remained.

“It was always
you two boys,” she said softly with a note of wistfulness in her voice, “you
and Brenus. You were our eldest, mine and his, the ones we brought to the
marriage. And it was always the two of you who got the attention, because you
had each claimed our hearts. Yes, I see that Brenus was a piece of my former
life with Denzel, and you were a reminder of Trekur Lende to Dag. I suppose it
was
hard for Dirk to find a place, wasn’t it?”

Then her face
puckered without warning, and she put her hands across it, weeping freely the
tears she had attempted to stifle.

“Oh, how I
miss Brenus! I miss his laughter, his temper, and his recklessness. Will this
pain in my heart ever go away?” she wailed as she rocked back and forth in her
grief.

Cort was
prepared and produced something from a pocket of his robe.

“I may be able
to help you with that, Mother. On our travels we stopped briefly at a land
called Darian. I can not begin to tell you of the effect it had on me; I felt
called there somehow, and know that I must return one day.

“We shopped at
the stalls along the shore and purchased some healing oils. There is one that
the natives called haleo berry which they told us will cure anything. I tested
it by applying a drop to a cut on my finger, and it was instantly healed! I
would like to give you a drop of that oil now, Mother, that your grief over
Brenus will at last be healed, and you will only remember the good times, and
be free of sorrow.”

Judoc did not
appear convinced and looked at the bottle of oil doubtfully. She took it from
Cort to examine and turned it around in her hand as if to learn its secrets.
She winced at him, but nodded her head.

“Very well,”
she said in a faltering voice, “let us try it.”

Cort filled the
stopper with a drop of oil and released the drop over Judoc’s tongue. She
looked at him blankly for several minutes, until a light came into her eyes and
her lips lifted in a smile not used in many months.

“I feel, I
feel…
better
!”

She struggled
for words to express her emotions, and Cort listened in amazement.

“My heart felt
like a stone within me, so dead and heavy. Indeed, it has been all I could do
to get out of bed in the mornings, wishing instead I could stay there and not
have to face anyone. But now, after one drop of that oil, my heart feels light,
no longer weighing me down. And I feel free, as free as the hummingbird that
flits about as it works!”

Cort laughed
in joy and she returned it. He laughed again and her laughter echoed his.

Then he sobered
suddenly.

“But it does
not change my mind, Mother. After we help Dag escape Valerium, I must be on my
way.”