Authors: Colette Caddle
‘Yes, that’s the plan. We’re going to rent an apartment there.’
‘An apartment? But why?’
‘Oh, we just thought we’d push the boat out and treat ourselves. We need somewhere decent to entertain Patricia and Matt.’
‘Well, excuse me!’
‘Now, you don’t begrudge your old parents a bit of comfort in their dotage, do you?’ Bridie Gallagher retorted. ‘We went without for long enough to make sure that you
pair had everything.’
‘Yes, Mam, you’ve told us often enough.’
‘Cheeky!’ Bridie said, laughing. ‘Anyway, tell me about you. How are you feeling, love?’
‘Grand,’ Rachel lied.
‘I hope you’re taking care of yourself and eating well. This is no time for diets, you know.’
‘I’m not dieting, Mam.’
‘Good, you need all your strength now.’
‘So, how’s Dad?’
‘Red and fat,’ her mother laughed. ‘He won’t wear suncream and he drinks far too much beer, but he’s having the time of his life.’
‘Good, I’m glad. Give him my love.’
‘I will. How’s my favourite grandson?’
‘He’s wonderful. Oh, that reminds me, Mam. You wouldn’t mind getting me some shoes for him, would you?’
‘Of course not. Just tell me what size and style.’
Rachel quickly gave her the details and her mother scribbled them down.
‘Right, darling, I’d better go. Your dad is going mad for a cup of tea. Now you take care of yourself.’
‘I will. Bye, Mam.’ Rachel replaced the receiver with a sigh.
Phone conversations like that were so frustrating. Nothing really said, just pleasantries, time-of-day stuff. Rachel needed more than that. Bridie mightn’t be the most conventional mother
in the world but she usually had a commonsense solution for most problems. Rachel wondered what she’d have to say if she confided her fears about Gary or told her how ambivalent she felt
about the new baby.
Alex stuck his head through the doorway. ‘I’m hungry, Mum.’
Rachel waved him in and gave him a hug. ‘I’ll make you a sandwich.’
‘And a bun?’ Alex’s eyes twinkled up at her.
Rachel smiled. ‘And a bun.’
Liam heard the door bang and swore softly. Another day and yet another row. He didn’t mean to bite Anna’s head off but she just seemed to say all the wrong things.
As soon as she got in the door in the evening she wanted to talk about jobs and what the latest news was, whereas all he wanted to do was forget about it. He spent all day thinking about his
unemployed status and what he needed from Anna was diversion.
He realized, of course, that she was just worried about him but he was finding it hard to keep his patience with her. Didn’t she have any idea how terrified he was? Didn’t she know
how much of a failure he felt? And every time she quizzed him about what steps he was taking or how he’d worded a particular letter of application, he felt more inadequate.
To avoid confrontation, Liam stayed out of her way as much as possible. Sometimes he went to his mother’s, sometimes he went to the cinema. Occasionally he went to the pub although he had
never liked drinking alone. And sometimes, sometimes he dropped in to see Tara.
He never went upstairs to her apartment – the image of her bedroom was still fresh in his mind and made him uncomfortable – but he had a cup of coffee with her in the small kitchen
at the back of her salon. Occasionally a client would be there having a body wrap or a facial and Tara would throw him out when her timer went off. ‘Sorry, my lady is cooked, time to get back
to work!’
He enjoyed their time together. Tara was fun and clever and he was able to talk to her about subjects other than his unemployed status. That made a nice change. Though it was all completely
innocent, he hadn’t mentioned his visits to Anna. He knew she’d get the wrong idea and he couldn’t deal with yet another argument. His mother didn’t know either.
Though she loved Tara, Josie wouldn’t approve of a married man, especially her son, spending time with another woman. So to avoid any nagging from that quarter, he timed his visits for
when he knew she’d be out. If Tara was aware of this, she didn’t say anything but by unspoken agreement, she hadn’t mentioned his visits to Josie either.
He was also considering Tara’s suggestion of advertising himself as a handyman and enjoyed tossing this idea around with her. She had a lot of potential clients for him. It made more sense
than what Anna wanted him to do. She seemed to spend all of her spare time finding him positions in large local companies doing work that required few, if any, of his skills.
‘You must be joking!’ he’d exploded last night when she’d shoved the Vacancies section of the newspaper under his nose and pointed to the ad that she’d ringed.
‘Customer Service Operator in Dixons? Have you completely lost your mind?’
‘Why? You’d be fixing stuff, using your knowledge, and it would be a step on the ladder of a very large and successful company,’ she’d protested. ‘And it’s
better than doing nothing.’
‘No, Anna, trust me, it would not be better than doing nothing.’
‘God, you’re as big a snob as your bloody mother! It’s a job, for God’s sake, and the way things are going, you can’t afford to be so damn picky!’
Liam had glared at her, his eyes like ice. ‘Firstly, leave my mother out of this. Secondly, if you think I’m still unemployed because I like doing nothing all day then you
don’t know me at all.’
And Anna had gone to bed and then left the house this morning without opening her mouth to him. Liam couldn’t remember a row ever having lasted this long before, but then nothing was the
same these days.
Mark had just given Anna a salary increase and she was on an all-time high as a result. There was no doubt that Anna had found her niche and although he was pleased for her, Liam couldn’t
help feeling envious. He wasn’t proud of himself for being that way and he knew Anna was disappointed in the lack of interest he showed in her work, but he just couldn’t help it. He
found the fact that she was the main breadwinner very hard to handle and the thought of accepting a job with a salary much lower than hers was completely abhorrent to him.
Which is when he’d started to seriously consider the handyman idea. He had enough experience to run his own business and he quite liked the idea of being hands-on again, too. Once things
were up and running, he could take on one or two guys but he wouldn’t make the mistake of expanding too quickly. The only fly in the ointment, however, was finance. He and Anna had few
savings and to set up a proper business he’d need the right tools.
He hadn’t checked out financing but he couldn’t imagine a bank wanting to take a chance on him. It was embarrassing to admit that at thirty-three he had sod-all savings! He
hadn’t planned for this to happen, had been smug in his cosy little job at Patterson’s. Bloody idiot! He had paid into a pension plan and life assurance, so Anna would be fine if he
popped his clogs, but it had never occurred to him that he would ever be out of a job. What the hell had been the point of all those years in college, for God’s sake? Unemployment only
happened to unskilled people, or so he’d thought. So, given his naivety, he was hardly great loan material.
Tara had hinted that she would loan him the money he needed to get up and running, but Liam would die rather than take it. He could ask his mother, as he knew she had a few bob tucked away, but
that went against the grain too. God, he was surrounded by women with money and it didn’t half make him feel inadequate. Feeling very sorry for himself, Liam turned over in the bed and closed
his eyes. Doing nothing was a very tiring business.
In the office of Donnelly’s Real Estate, Anna tried to concentrate on what Mark was saying but kept reliving the horrible row she’d had with Liam last night. She
couldn’t believe that he hadn’t tried to make it up. She knew that he was awake when she’d left this morning, although he’d stayed well buried under the covers.
‘So, have you had any luck with Charlie?
Anna?
’
‘Sorry, what was that?’ Anna pushed her hair back off her face and looked at her boss.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked bluntly. ‘You’re in another world this morning and you look terrible.’
‘Thanks.’
‘Oh, come on, love, you can tell me. Is it Liam?’ Mark settled his ample figure back in the chair and waited.
‘We had a row last night.’
‘Ah. Well, that’s marriage for you, darling. We all have little disagreements from time to time.’
‘I suppose, but we seem to be having more than our fair share these days. I can’t say or do anything right. The least thing and he jumps down my throat. I saw a vacancy in
Dixon’s that I thought would suit him and he threw a complete wobbler.’
‘A management job?’
She shook her head. ‘No, but you’ve got to start somewhere, haven’t you?’
Mark chuckled. ‘No, Anna, I don’t agree with that.’
‘Neither does he, but he’s so miserable at home. Surely any job is better than nothing?’
‘Not really. You see, at the moment, the last job on his CV is a very senior one. If he were to take a lower-paid job, companies would see it on his CV and be less likely to offer him a
management role.’
‘But the longer he’s at home, the bigger the gap on his CV. Surely that’s worse?’
‘Not necessarily. He can always say that he decided to take a sabbatical, that he could afford to take a break and wait for the right job to come along.’
‘But we can’t!’ Anna cried in frustration.
Mark looked at her. ‘They don’t know that, do they? It’s really a game of chicken, Anna. If Liam keeps his head, looks the part and plays the game, he may well ride this
out.’
Anna absorbed this. ‘So you think I’m wrong to push him into just any job?’
‘In a word, my love, yes.’
Anna sighed. ‘Shit. I’m just trying to help, Mark.’
‘Just hang in there, love. He’ll get through this and no doubt come out much better off at the other end.’
‘Everyone says that, but I’m beginning to wonder.’ Anna blinked back the tears. ‘I feel so completely helpless, Mark. I just wish I could do something to help. I hate to
see him so miserable.’
‘All you can do is stand by him,’ Mark said softly. ‘That’s all he wants from you right now.’
Anna blew her nose. ‘You’re right, Mark, thanks.’
‘That’s fine. Now, is there any chance we could get a bit of work done?’
‘Your boss makes a lot of sense,’ Jill said when Anna relayed the conversation over their lunch later that day in a pub in Clontarf. This was their usual lunchtime
haunt as it meant they were both only twenty minutes’ drive from their offices. Jill tucked into a chicken salsa wrap, pausing to dab at the sauce running down her chin.
‘Aren’t you on a diet?’ Anna said.
‘Nah, I’m on a break. So what are you going to do now?’
‘Try harder, I suppose. I was thinking on my way over here that I’m complaining about Liam not talking to me, but I suppose he hasn’t had that much opportunity. I’ve been
so busy and a bit preoccupied.’ Anna paused and with a groan, dropped her face in her hands. ‘Oh God.’
‘What?’
‘I just remembered I had a go at his mother last night too.’
‘Oh.’
‘No wonder he wouldn’t talk to me this morning.’
‘I think you could both do with some cooling-off time. Why don’t we go out tonight?’
‘Oh, I don’t know.’
‘It would give him time to think and it would do you good to have a night out.’
‘Yes, okay then. Where will we go – into town?’
‘No, let’s stay in Malahide. We could try out the new wine bar and then go to Gibneys.’
‘Sounds good.’ Anna checked her watch. ‘I’d better go, I’ve an appointment at two. What time will I see you?’
‘About seven?’ Jill suggested.
‘Great, see you then.’ When Anna was back in her car, she noticed the postcard that she’d snatched off the postman this morning and hadn’t had a chance to read yet. She
smiled at the photo of the Promenade in Nice. Oh, to be walking along that right now! Turning over the card, she started to read.
Hello, my darling Anna! Sorry we missed you when we phoned the other night but it was nice (no pun intended!) to talk to Liam. He does sound a bit down, the poor man.
Please God he’ll get something soon. I light a candle in every church we visit – your father thinks I’ve lost my mind because I’m lighting candles for Rachel too. She
doesn’t say much, Anna, but I don’t think she’s very well at the moment. Please keep an eye on her. I rely on you, you know, to look after your little sister.
Anna paused. Jill was also worried about Rachel but she’d been so preoccupied with her own problems at the moment she had little time to think about her sister.
She’d call her tomorrow, she promised herself guiltily. Bending her head, she went back to the postcard.
I’ve asked her to come for a visit before Alex goes back to school: maybe you could try and persuade her. It would put my mind at rest if I could see her. I seem
to be running out of space, my darling, so I’ll go now and call you soon. Hugs and kisses to you and Liam.x, Mam
Anna put down the card with a sigh, turned the key in the ignition and headed back to work. If her mother was so worried about Rache, why didn’t she just come home? She
could fly from Nice to Dublin, dead easy. Anna immediately felt bad at the way her mind was working. She was turning into a right misery-guts altogether, and it was all because of Liam. She
wasn’t the same person these days. She didn’t laugh as much and it was all down to the constant bickering and nitpicking that seemed to fill their time when they were together.
She missed curling up with him on the sofa in the evenings and discussing their days, laughing, making plans and eventually making love in front of the fire because they hadn’t the
patience to wait until they got upstairs. She would have to try harder to keep the peace. They needed each other now more than ever. She would go out tonight with Jill, let off some steam and then
tomorrow, she would start again.
Anna was the last in the office that evening and once she’d locked up and put on the answering machine, she went out to the tiny loo to freshen up. She decided to let her
hair down from its tight knot and leave her jacket at the office. She was wearing a cropped black T-shirt that was too informal on its own for the office but perfect for a girls’ night out.
When she walked into the small restaurant, Jill was already at a table in the corner.