Don’t you care about me?
Not the way you need me to.
Could he have been a bigger asshole?
Your fault.
It was all on him. No question about it. No going back. Right?
Ethan sensed his mood change and asked if he was all right.
Perfect
. A four-year-old had noticed his pain. Maybe he was going nuts.
Andi saved him from answering her son by shouting for them—food was ready.
Dinner was great, like always. But watching Andi and Cole affected him in a way it never had before. Their interaction, teasing, touches and especially the light kisses they shared just about killed Pete.
Envy sat in his stomach like a boulder. Threatened to ruin the taste of the kickass brisket Cole had smoked. His personal sauce recipe could rival some of the best Texas barbecue Pete had ever eaten, but he couldn’t even manage to tease his friend about it.
Pete couldn’t stop watching them.
He wanted what his partner had with her husband. And he wanted it with Nikki. So badly his whole body ached from it.
The wife, the kids to fill his huge empty house…the works. It was all back in his picture again. Too bad the woman he loved pretty much hated him.
You broke her heart. It’s too late.
“Pete, you all right, dude?” Cole asked, his arm around Andi.
She was nestled against his side on the bench of the breakfast nook, their baby asleep in her arms.
Ethan sat next to his parents in his booster seat, licking a red popsicle. Making a sticky mess, but he was adorable, like always.
“I’m good.”
“Right,” Andi said.
Pete groaned.
Cole cleared his throat, his eyes darting to Ethan. “I think it’s about bedtime for E-man.”
“Nooooooo,” Ethan whined.
“How about a story?” Cole asked, not fazed by the four-year-old.
Ethan’s bottom lip pushed out in a first-class pout.
“How about two stories?” Andi asked.
Cocking his head to one side, the little boy considered both his parents. “I pick?”
Pete bit back a smile.
“Of course,” his dad answered.
Ethan grinned and clapped his little hands. “Okay!”
Andi laughed.
Cole planted a loud kiss on her cheek and pulled Ethan out of his booster seat. “Say goodnight to your Uncle Pete.”
“Night, Unca’ Pete!”
Andi winced. “Ethan, not so loud.”
Pete chuckled and ruffled his hair, giving the little boy one of their signature high-fives. “See ya soon, squirt. Be good for your dad.”
“You want help?” Andi asked, wiping Ethan’s sticky mouth before planting a kiss on him.
He giggled and kissed her back. Noisy and innocent.
Pete grinned.
“I got it, babe. Get your partner straight.” Cole threw a wink his way and disappeared around the corner with their son on his hip.
“Nice,” Pete muttered.
“What? You knew it was coming,” Andi said, totally unrepentant. She stared until he shifted in his chair at the table. “I’m going to put Micah down. You move one toe and I’ll kick your ass.”
Sighing, he waited for her to return, squirming like he was waiting for detention to be over.
Instead of starting to clean up like she normally did after they had dinner together, his partner returned to her seat at the table, flipping on a white and blue baby monitor before setting it down between them.
“Want help with the kitchen?” Pete asked. He cursed his voice when it cracked.
“The dishes can wait.”
“Dammit, Andi. I don’t want to talk about it. I told you that.”
“You never let me get away with that crap, so I’m not about to let
you
off the hook.”
Pete didn’t say anything as misery threatened to crush him.
“Hmmm, don’t like your words being flung back at you, huh?” Andi said. Her blue eyes bored into him.
“Hell, no.”
Quit looking at me like that.
“Then I’ll just sit here with my mouth shut. Wait for you to come ‘round. You’re not stupid, partner.”
I am stupid. A freaking idiot.
“What’re you waiting for?”
“You’ve yet to get over your damn self.”
“Could I try ‘It’s none of your business’? Would that work?”
She snorted and crossed her arms over her chest.
“Didn’t think so,” Pete whispered. “Look, I really don’t want to talk about this.”
“No shit.” His partner arched an eyebrow. “Rather talk to Cole?”
“No.”
“Being in the hot seat’s no fun, huh?” Amusement ripped across her beautiful face. Her signature ponytail danced around her shoulders.
Pete growled and looked away from her.
“Pete.” Andi put her hand on his forearm and made him meet her gaze again. “I love her, too.”
He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath. His chest was killing him. Words wouldn’t come.
“I just want you to fix this. You’re hurting, she’s hurting and it’s ridiculous.”
“Ridiculous?” he croaked.
“Absolutely.” Her firm tone jolted him.
“God, she called you, didn’t she?”
“Yes. But it doesn’t matter. I would’ve still taken one look at you and told you to get your head out of your ass.”
One corner of his mouth lifted. “Gee, thanks, darlin’.”
Andi smirked and cocked her head to one side, staring him down. “Last year, when Cole left and I found out Micah was on the way, what did you tell me?”
“Shit, Andi. Really?”
“Yes, really, Pete
.
”
He didn’t need a reminder. Pete remembered the conversation like it was yesterday. Remembered his partner’s tears, too. He’d held her, reminded her he’d always be there for her. Told her to go after the man she loved.
Heartache sucks ass, but regret is even worse.
His words. God, he’d kill her if she said it out loud right now.
“Pete?” Andi prompted.
Dragging his hand down his face, Pete shook his head. “It’s different.”
“How?”
“It…just is.”
“Bullshit.”
“How’s it going in here?” Cole slid into the kitchen sans Ethan and crossed his arms over his broad chest. He leaned on the counter instead of joining them at the table.
“He’s asleep already?” Andi asked glancing over her shoulder.
“Yup. Cleaned him up, got him into PJs and he was out before we were done with book number one.” Cole nodded, his steel gaze landing on Pete.
“No way.” Pete straightened in the chair. “You guys aren’t going to double-team me. Is this some kind of intervention?”
“Does it need to be?” his partner’s husband asked without missing a beat.
“Fuck. Me.”
“No thanks,” Cole said much too brightly.
Andi looked amused when Pete’s gaze swept over her. She scooted closer, grabbing his hand. “You love her, she loves you. It’s as simple as that, partner, so fix it. Apologise for being the colossal ass you were and get her back.”
“What’d you tell me when I came back to Antioch?” Cole asked.
Pete groaned. “Not you, too. Whipping my words back in my face.”
“Hey, not my fault you give great advice and can’t listen to it. Sooooo what did you say to me?”
“That it was about damn time you showed up.”
“Right. I wasted months.
Months
away from Andi and Ethan, and missed the beginning of her pregnancy because I was too stubborn to realise where I belonged. If it wasn’t for you, she’d have been totally alone. I’ll always be grateful for that, dude. But don’t do what I did. It’s only been a few days. Go get your woman. Tell her how you feel.”
Andi and Cole locked gazes as if he wasn’t in the room. Love was palpable between them.
Envy and fear hit him in the chest. “What if she won’t give me another shot?” The words were out of his mouth before he could censor them.
Had he really just admitted he was afraid?
His partner swung her head back around and met his eyes. “Oh, Pete. She loves you.”
“What if that’s not enough to forgive me?”
Andi was out of the chair and wrapping her arms around him in seconds. “I’ve never seen you like this,” she whispered.
Pete flashed a wry smile. “Yeah…I’ve…never felt like this before. So you couldn’t have seen it.”
She pulled back, smiling gently. Her eyes were misty and his stomach fluttered. “I like it. I want you to be happy so badly. I want you to have what I have.”
Cole pushed off the counter and tugged his wife into his arms. The guy probably couldn’t take Andi’s tears any more than Pete could take Nikki’s. Especially when they were his fault.
He swallowed back a wince and watched his friends embrace.
Cole kissed Andi then met Pete’s eyes. “I wouldn’t trade her or those two little boys for the world.”
With a lump in his throat, all Pete could do was nod, but his partner’s husband didn’t look away.
“Whatcha gonna do, Crane?”
Chapter Thirty-One
The paper aeroplane sailed in, landing on the carpet right in front of her desk.
Nikki stared. Swallowed hard.
Tremors started in her arms and shook her whole body by the time she made it around her desk and bent to pick up the folded paper. She braced herself on the wood side so she wouldn’t topple over.
Plane in hand, she headed straight to the doorway. Peeked her head out and looked up and down the hallway.
Totally quiet. No one around. Not even voices coming from the lieutenants’ offices across the hall.
Chief still wasn’t back, either. His meeting at City Hall must’ve run over. Or maybe he’d gone to grab lunch at Dixie’s.
Shaking her head, Nikki wandered back to her desk and slipped into her chair. She set the folded contraption in front of her.
The last four days had been hell. She couldn’t sleep. Couldn’t stop crying, and no amount of makeup could cover the bags under her eyes.
It was a wonder she’d held it together for work, but she’d managed. She’d had to. Hadn’t wanted Chief to catch on that something was wrong. Wasn’t fond of the idea of another third degree about Pete, among other things.
At least she didn’t have to see him. The internal investigation was taking care of that. He wasn’t supposed to be at work.
Obviously the mandate didn’t apply today.
No one else would have flown the paper aeroplane into Chief’s executive suite. It had to be Pete.
Nikki ached to see him. Kiss him, touch his hand, wrap her arms around him, even just talk to him. Her stupid, traitorous heart wouldn’t let go.
She’d confessed her feelings to her grandmother, unable to do so without sobbing. Gram had held her and told her time would heal all wounds.
Not this time.
Four days, or forty—hell, forty
years
wouldn’t change the way she felt about him. Nikki would love Pete for the rest of her life.
Damn lotta good it’d do.
He was it. The one. Or he was supposed to have been.
Pain threatened to cave her chest all over again
. Not at work. Not. At. Work.
When she’d called Andi, she’d felt like a child tattling on a classmate, but her friend had listened to her cry and consoled her as best she could.
Andi had asked if Nikki wanted her to talk to Pete. She’d shut the detective down quickly, but doubted her outspoken friend would actually hold her tongue to the stupid man. They were best friends, as Andi had so aptly pointed out. She probably told him everything.
Nikki’s heart skipped. Would it hurt or help?
She made a fist, narrowly missing crunching the paper aeroplane. Should just throw it in the garbage. It didn’t matter.
Do it.
But as soon as it hit the rim of her black plastic trashcan, Nikki snatched it out.
Was he somewhere watching? Could he see her? They worked in a police department, after all. Cameras everywhere.
Sucking in a breath and steeling herself, she studied the aeroplane. Shaped carefully, its every fold lent to superior aerodynamic abilities. A prize winning piece of origami, right?
When she flipped it over, she noticed a slight imprint.
Handwriting.
Pete had written something inside the plane?
The paper rustled as she unfolded it slowly. Like unwrapping a present.
Nikki’s breath caught at the first sight of the familiar handwriting.
I’m sorry. I love you.
In blue ink, each letter formed with a neat stroke.
It was silly to think she could
feel
love from the two short sentences, but she did.
Vision blurring, tears cascaded. “Oh, Pete.” Nikki’s whisper was shaky to her ears. Her hand shot to her mouth.
He loved her?
She shoved her chair back so fast she almost fell over. Ignoring her wobbly legs, she rushed to the doorway.
Where she smacked full force into the solid wall of Pete’s chest. He caught her up and held her close. Kept her from falling. “I’m sorry, sweetness. I was trying to be respectful and stay back. Wait…until you…read it. But I…just couldn’t hide anymore.”
Hide anymore.
Did he mean more than staying out of sight right now? Nikki’s heart sped up. “I was coming to find you.”
When she met his beautiful green eyes and saw the emotion there—love, tenderness, heat—she had to bite her bottom lip to keep the sob in. She buried her face against the cotton of his green tee and wrapped her arms around him. Nikki couldn’t win, though—tears wouldn’t be held at bay. She cried until she shook against him.
“Oh, darlin’. Don’t cry. Not anymore. Not because of me. Nikki—”
“I love you,” she whispered. The words tumbled out of her mouth. They wouldn’t be kept inside. It didn’t matter that she’d told him before. Didn’t matter that he’d hurt her, because he loved her, too.
Pete froze. His heart thundered against hers, she felt it all the way to her core.
He cupped her face, forcing her to meet his gaze. When he thumbed her tears away, a tremor shot down her spine. “I love you, too.” He kissed her. Lightly, teasingly.
Not nearly enough
.
Nikki tried to lean up and press her lips to his, but he held her still.
“I want you to look at me when I tell you. I love you, Nicole Grace Harper.”
Sniffling, she could only stare. Words dissolved on her tongue. His expression was open, his eyes honest. Love. All she could see was love. And it made her whole body weak.