Captured Secret (The Captured Series) (10 page)

Me: You’re a jerk! LOL!

I totally laugh out loud in my room when we battle a game of emoticon war. The rule is to send the other person a text with emoticons only. The other person has to guess what you are trying to say. Literally, I almost pee my pants. Of course, they go from funny to naughty, quick. Ty sends me about eight people with all different genders, I guessed, orgy. I didn’t have to be with him to know he was dying laughing. He text me back informing me that I was a dirty girl, and he really liked my answer. I was completely mortified to find out the correct answer was, group. I completely blushed and sent a playful, yet strongly worded text back that if he was going back to making the game PG, he needed to inform me.

I head over to Ty’s after work on Wednesday. He looks frazzled and the child from the family shoot is a little rowdier than I am used to. I keep him occupied while Ty gets some shots of the soon to be parents with their second child in the womb. My job is to insert wild child perfectly into the pose and let Ty shoot away. After they leave, Ty explains that is exactly why he does not love family pictures. Kids make it too difficult.

I throw in a load of the whites to wash so we can be ready for the weekend. We are both starving, so we walk over to a corner pizzeria where they make New York style pizza. These outings feel like dates, but he makes no advances. We basically are getting to know each other better. I feel so much sexual tension that I might physically explode. I glance at him constantly when he’s not looking. His voice, face and body drive me fucking mad! I don’t stay long tonight because Ty begs me to go home, and get some sleep. I lie down and try to read. Obviously, my body agrees with Ty, because I crash and burn for the night.

“D
ID
YOU
AND
T
Y
TALK
about tomorrow night?” I love when I don’t even get out hello when Zoey calls.

“Yeah, we are all going to leave our cars at his flat and walk over to Skinny’s together.”

“I’m excited. We haven’t been together all week and it’s on a Friday night. We are so going to tie one on, Stella. Let the drinking begin! Oh, plan on rocking some cute, yet, sexy clothes, because you are so getting laid Friday night, young lady. Before you say anything, listen to me.” I stay silent as I lean back in my work chair and listen. “It’s time. It’s been long enough. You really need to get back in the groove. Trust me, it’s like riding a bike. Once you get back on, you’ll remember how to do it.” I snicker at her analogy. “And don’t think for one minute that I did not plan on having this conversation while you are at work, because I know you really can’t argue.” I admit, she did plan this talk well, considering my entire office does not need to hear about my sex life, or lack thereof.

I speak lightly into the headset. “I am not going to argue with you, dork. I will bring cute clothes. I will have a blast with you all. I will let the drinking begin. And, Zoey, I will give you this... I do feel a need for a man. I will start thinking about finding one, even if it means getting everything I don’t want. My body has made a huge U-turn and no longer agrees with my celibacy. But, I do have a logical part that says to wait. I have waited a long time, so what’s a little longer? Maybe he’s right around the corner. End tangent.”

Snickering, she says, “All I got out of that was, ‘my body has done a U-turn and wants me to have sex.’ That’s a great idea, Stella!” She’s so sarcastic. “Hey, have you thought that maybe your U-turn is due to the sexy man you have to look at all the time now. And I’m not referring to anyone at your full time job.”

Uncontrollable laughter leaves my mouth. I sit quietly to see if anyone is going to ask me ‘what the hell?’ I finally speak, “I cannot talk to you at work. Any correspondence from here on out must be via text. You made me laugh out loud at work, asshole.” I know she can hear the smile on my face.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night. Let’s pick someone hot for you to lose your virginity to,” she whispers in my ear.

“Do you think I’m considered a born again virgin already, Zoey? Do ya?” I whisper back in my most sincere tone. She so knows I’m bullshitting her.

“Yes, friend, yes, I do.” She’s been with Pierce a bunch all week and with my working so much, I’m having an I-miss-Zoey-party in my head. We both say a quite goodbye.

When I wake up, I realize it’s Friday. My schedule is shopping, cleaning, one client and a night out with good friends. I shower, and throw on a pair of short frayed jean shorts and a little baby doll t-shirt. I have many outfits needed today. The one that I will clean with is on my body. Check! The clothes I will wear with Ty and the client is on a hanger. Check! On a second hanger are the clothes I will wear to Skinny’s, along with a lacey black bra and cheeky panties. Check! The good thing about leaving from Ty’s is that I can freshen up before we go out. I’m wearing some light makeup, and I shove my feet into running shoes. Checking my appearance in the mirror, I notice my tummy is showing because my shorts are hanging low on my waist. I shrug it off. I’m cleaning, for heaven sakes! Now, off to the store. Early morning shopping is pleasant. The big box store is almost eerily quiet, and I get in and out in a flash. I stop for coffee and off to Ty’s I go.

At Ty’s studio, I load the elevator with my shopping bags along with my personal crap, shoes, and toiletries. My clothes on hangers are slung over my shoulder. With our coffees in hand, I’m finally heading up to the second floor. The door is unlocked, so I grab a couple of bags and walk in. I can see Ty on the balcony because the huge wall of curtains is open to the apartment.

He comes inside, prompted by all my noise, and he shoots that heart-stopping smile my way. His eyes light up as he rakes his eyes over me from head to toe. “Hey you, you brought coffee?” I hand him the carrying tray. “You are the best.”

“I can’t help it, boss, it just comes natural.”

Ty takes the clothes hanging from my fingers. His eyes stop on the bra and panties. With a suggestive look he says, “You should let me take some pictures of you.” I blush. I can’t even imagine trying to look sexy in front of him, much less, give the camera bedroom eyes. “You have to know that you are beautiful, Stella…and sexy. They’d be a good addition to the website. You might even be the first picture they see. You could bump some of the girls to removal status.” He lifts his eyebrow waiting for my answer.

Beautiful and sexy …me? Is he purposefully being cruel today?
I’m hardly beautiful enough to remove the hotties from his website. “
I don’t think so, Ty. Those pictures are just not for me. I don’t think I could let loose and feel the confidence you need, to be in front of your camera.” My eyes dart from the lacy bits to his face and back again.

“It’s just a couple of shots. You’d do great. You’re much more comfortable with me now. I can feel the difference.” That sincerity in his voice and eyes almost has me completely flipping my decision and agreeing.

“Maybe you don’t know this, but I work a full time job. I also have another really great boss that I assist, clean, and shop for, so, it’s gonna have to be a no, sorry. I just don’t have the time.” I take my clothes from him and hang them in the bathroom that is the sitting room. I think of it as my private bathroom, considering I’m the only one that uses it.

I drink in the sight of him today as he sits in a red Victorian chair. His body looks delicious in gray shorts, a black short sleeve Henley and bare feet. He looks up and hands me my coffee. The cup is so warm and it smells so good. “Are you ready for some downtime tonight?” Ty asks me while sipping his cup.

“Yeah, I am. I need to cut loose. I can get in a bad rut of being the good Stella who does exactly what needs to be done. No coloring outside the lines or riding on the wrong side of the street. I need to let my hair down, if you know what I mean.” I put my coffee down and start unpacking my shopping bags. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to some unnecessary bending over, considering he likes what he’s looking at. And what he is looking at, is me.

“You’re getting laid too tonight…don’t forget.”

I whip my head around and gasp. Thank God, he has a playful look on his face. “That bitch! She did not tell you that?”

“Yeah, she did. Something about one year and four months… born again virgin… and how it is so ‘on’ tonight.” He is actually enjoying torturing me. It’s crazy to think how quickly we have clicked as friends. He feels like Zoey in man form to me, but way hotter. And of course, there is the fact that I don’t want to pull off Zoey’s clothes and fuck the shit out of her.

Well, it is what it is, so I confess. “That’s what Zoey says is going to happen. The celibacy time frame is very accurate, but what she won’t hear from me is that there is no rush.” I continue unloading the bags. “Do I miss having a man touch me? Yes. Do I miss sex? Absolutely! Do I miss all the bullshit and lies that come with it? No.”

He stares at me for a moment and sips his coffee. His eyes soften and he speaks softly. “Tell me about the part that you don’t like.”

“Really, Ty, you don’t want to hear the ass load of crap that comes out of my mouth on this subject. When we are done today, I’m calling that little witch I call a best friend and ripping her ass.”

“Tell me.” He leans back and I can see his genuine interest. “Tell me, Stella, I want to know.”

I shift my weight and rest my hand on my hip. “Well, it starts with the ‘you’re so beautiful bullshit.’ All the compliments that, ultimately, turn out to be lies. After many drinks, you get all the lame ass lines that they think will knock your panties right off. After more mind effing, you agree to go home together. They make you feel like such a lucky girl that they picked you. When the reality is that you’re the only dumbass that fell for the continuous lines of shit fed your way. They get you to your place or theirs, and the spewing of lies continues. Oh, this feels so good. How did I get so lucky? You are so hot. This is amazing. Blah, blah, blah…and that’s it. They get theirs, and rarely care if you get yours. They are gone before morning, and the next time you hear from them is in a drunken stupor, booty calling your ass at 3 am. It’s bullshit, Ty. You give the best part away, and for what? To hear lies and settle for getting fucked. And it’s so shallow and unfulfilling. There has to be something better out there, like love along with friendship. Someone who truly feels for you the same way you feel about them, something genuine and someone who cares for you. I just couldn’t take the bullshit anymore, hence, a sexless one year and four months.”

I finally breathe. I cannot believe I said all that, to Ty, no less. I feel a lump well up in my throat because I am so embarrassed. I stand there and we stare at each other. No words are said as I force the tears to stay in my eyes. Once I can breathe past the lump in my throat, I say in a hushed, almost ashamed tone, “Sorry, God, you didn’t ask for all that. You’re right, I am feeling more comfortable with you. Please just forget everything I said.”

I turn to continue what I was doing, and Ty grabs my hand, pulling me back to stand in between his open legs. “Don’t be ashamed, Stella. If that’s how you feel, then that’s just how you feel. Your feelings are yours. They belong to you only, no one else. If that’s what’s in your heart, then it’s not wrong. Whoever the guy is that ends up with you is a lucky fucker. You sound like you have the love to give, so… be proud of that.”

His touch makes me rethink everything I just said. That heat I feel as he touches me makes me want more and more of him. As he rubs my fingertips, I hate that everything I said goes out the window. I could care less if he wants an hour or a lifetime. My body buzzes with need and I currently hate him for making me react this way. Ty doesn’t lead me to believe that he’s interested in anything other than friendship. There is a lot of flirting, laughing, and playful behavior. I find that he looks me over, a lot. I normally wouldn’t say he likes what he sees, but I genuinely think he does. I find his eyes drinking me in, but we are new to each other, so I just don’t know what he’s thinking.

He drops my hand and my body is screaming for the contact to return. I whisper, “You really think it’s not crazy to feel that way?”

“I don’t, but I am not the best person to talk about love. I hear you on all the lines of bullshit. Hell, I’m an offender of everything you hate. A one night stand is right up my alley. I’m opposite, Stella, I think the love stuff is bullshit. I don’t think couples can be faithful. Do you have any idea the amount of married women that come in here acting all innocent and committed? They tell me they are doing the shoot for the one they love, whether it is a boyfriend or a husband. But, Stel, if I wanted them, I could have them. They’re not like you. They throw their ass in my face and are so damn obvious. They want either sex or the fantasy, I really don’t know. I’ve never asked. I really don’t care about any of them. I just accept or decline. It’s just that easy on my end. It reconfirms what I feel. There is no love. There is no fidelity. There may be commitment, but when will it end, Stella, because it most certainly is going to end. There is no happily ever after. You just enjoy the ride and wait patiently for the bomb to drop. And the bomb will drop, and then what? Bitterness, sadness, anger, and rebuilding.”