California Caress (45 page)

Drake watched the emotions flickering openly in the velvet brown eyes. He knew what she was thinking. His heart tightened in response and his mind raced, searching for the perfect words to ease her worries. He wasn’t surprised to find there weren’t any. At least, none that came to mind.

“You said you had another job for me,” he began, resting his warm hand over her smaller, cooler one. A sly grin pulled at his lips, and at Hope’s heart. “Funny, but I came here with one to offer you. I even brought Elbert with me—to legalize it all—but I decided to leave him with your father instead. Now I’m glad I did.” His eyes sparkled as his gaze gently caressed her cheek, his palm itching to follow suit. “I like having you all to myself.”

“I don’t think I want any more of your jobs. You’re a hard boss, Drake Frazier, and you don’t pay your employees very well.” Hope tried to interject some lightness into her voice, and failed miserably.

“You left before I could pay you. That wasn’t my fault.”

“I
had
to leave.” She slipped her hand from his. “You saw to that.”

His eyes narrowed. “Did I? Did I really? Are you sure that’s why you left? Are you sure you weren’t running away from something else? Some
one
else?

Hope pushed herself to her feet and walked to the riverbank. She focused her attention on the water crashing and foaming beneath the waterfall. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You were jealous, Hope. Why can’t you just admit it?”

“I was not!” she lied. hotly “Why should I care whose skirt you chase? As far as I’m concerned, you could make a fool out of yourself over all the women in Boston if you wanted to,” she sniffed in disgust. “I really couldn’t care less.”

His powerful fingers jerked her around. She came up hard against his chest, and her breath rushed from her lungs in surprise. “Why, you little liar! You care one hell of a lot more than you’d ever admit. Don’t you, Hope?
Don’t you?
”

“Stop that. You’re hurting me,” she cried, trying to twist from his grasp. She should have known better.

“I’ll do a lot worse than that if you don’t start telling me the truth.”

“I
am
telling you the truth.” She looked up and saw his cheeks darken angrily. “Sort of.”

“Sort of?” he demanded harshly.

She wrenched away from him. Chafing her bruised flesh, she glared into his stormy gaze. “What do you want me to say? That I care? That I hurt? Of course I do, I’m not made of stone.”

“I never said you—”

“How the hell did you think I’d feel when you offered me the
job
of
pretending
to be your wife? All so that you could romance
her
! Did you think it wouldn’t bother me? Did you think I wouldn’t care that you preferred Angelique just because she’s perfect and I’m...” she choked on a sob, “and I’m not? No, don’t touch me!”

Hope quickly stepped away when Drake reached out for her. On shaky knees, she retreated to a spot farther down the bank, closer to the cascading waterfall. She didn’t look at him. She couldn’t. It would kill her to see the pity shimmering in his eyes.

Drake stood, a mixture of confusion and shock rushing through his blood, cementing him to the spot.
Perfect? Is that what she thought? That she wasn’t as perfect as Angelique?
His hands clenched and unclenched at his side as he remembered the feel of her puckered scar beneath his palm. Silently, he called himself a blind fool.

When his breathing slowly returned to normal, he approached Hope, stepping in front so he stood between her and the sparkling, clear water. Her shoulders were trembling, though she was doing a valiant job of holding back her tears. He wanted to reach out and touch her, hold her, soothe away her fears, but he didn’t know how.

“Go away, gunslinger. Go back to Boston, back to Angelique. I don’t need you. I never have.” It was the biggest lie she had ever told in her life and it cut her to the quick to be telling it now. But she had no choice. She was foolish to think she could ever win Drake Frazier’s love. Fanciful and foolish, she knew that now.

“I’m not going anywhere without you, sunshine.” Gently, he reached out and touched her porcelain cheek. Her head snapped up. The moistness glistening in her eyes pulled at his heart and twisted painfully in his gut. “I told you once that, no matter where you went, I’d always find you. And I meant it. You can’t run from me, sunshine. You never could. You can’t lie to me, either.”

Her jaw trembled as she thrust her chin up proudly. Her arms were wrapped tightly, defensively, around her waist. “I’m not lying. I
don’t
need you.”

“And I still don’t believe you. I think you need me. In fact, I think you need me more than you’ve ever needed anything in your life.”

“Why you arrogant, egotistical, no-good—!”

Drake caught Hope's arm before the open palm could slice into his cheek. She cried out with frustration and tried again, but he wouldn’t let her go. With a flick of his wrist, he pulled her against him. One hand slipped behind her suddenly rigid back and in slow, languid motions he stroked her spine.

Hope had no choice but to relax against him. She didn’t want to, but she couldn’t seem to stop the instinctive reaction any more than she could have stopped the spark of desire his touch was kindling. She lifted her gaze to his, her large eyes sparkling with a confusion of unshed tears.

“Perfection doesn’t matter to me, sunshine,” he said, his voice a husky whisper. “It never has. Haven’t you figured that out yet?” His lips turned up in a slow, knowing smile. “A thousand Angeliques can’t add up to one feisty Hope Bennett.”

“But—”

His finger covered her lips, silencing her. It doesn’t matter to me,” he repeated, his tone thick with conviction. His hands moved to the front of his shirt and his fingers quickly began to slip free buttons.

Hope’s eyes widened. “What are you doing?” she cried, covering her mouth with trembling fingers as more and more sun-kissed flesh was revealed. Her cheeks grew warm and an undeniable quiver of anticipation rippled through her stomach.

“Comparing scars,” Drake answered flatly, as he slipped the shirt off his shoulders and tossed it onto a pile of twigs. “See this?” He pointed to a line of about four inches that curved down a firmly tapered bicep. She'd seen it many times before. “Hideous, isn’t it? And this?” he nodded to a smaller, crescent-shaped one on his taut stomach. Again, she'd seen it. “Absolutely disgusting. No woman should be asked to live with such ugliness. Oh, and I almost forgot the best one.”

His eyes twinkled as he pried off his boots, then reached for the buckle of his belt. Before Hope could stop him, Drake had unbuttoned the denims and let them drop to his ankles. He looked like an ancient Greek god as he kicked the pants away and turned his back. He acted like a hunting guide pointing out scenic bits of landscape as he indicated a well-healed hole up and to the left of his tailbone, then three more on the backs of his tantalizingly sinewy legs.

It didn’t matter, Hope never saw the scars. She was too busy ogling the superbly developed muscles of his naked hips and thighs.

“This isn’t funny,” she managed to say once she could breathe again. “I’m warning you, Frazier, if you’re trying to embarrass me, it won’t work.”

“What I’m trying to do is to make you see that the scar on your back bothers
you
a hell of a lot more than it ever bothered me. What
does
bother me is the way you let it drive a wedge between every relationship you have. You can’t live in the past forever. Painful things are going to happen. You can’t stop them, but you can control the way they affect you.” With a ragged sigh, he plucked off his hat, raked his fingers through the windblown golden mane, then settled it back on his head. “Good God, Hope, what do I have to do to make you understand? I love you, no matter how many—”

She gasped. “You what?”

“I said I love you, no matter how many scars you have on your body, or in your mind.”

Hope stared at him long and hard, her gaze searching for the lie, for the pity that she was sure would be closer to his true feelings. Shock surged through her when she couldn’t find those emotions in his eyes.

“You love me?” she asked stupidly. It felt like her whole body had started trembling furiously. Her heart soared.
“You love me?”

“Yes, I love you. What did you think—that I’d chase you around like a smitten dog, nurse you back to health after you were shot, drag you with me to Boston, then follow you way out here just because I thought you had a cute backside?”

Hope wanted to believe him. More than anything else in her life, she wanted to believe him. But she couldn’t. Not yet.

Stiffening, her lips formed the question her mind demanded an answer to. “What about Angelique?” she asked flatly. “I thought she was the big love of your life. Don’t you think she’ll be a little disappointed to find out you don’t share her affection?”

“Why the hell should I care?” Drake growled. His angry glare said he was not at all pleased with the course the conversation had taken. “I know what you think, Hope, and you have every right to think it. I realize I haven’t done much to convince you there is nothing going on between me and Angelique—for my own stupid reasons—but you have to believe me when I say that Angelique is a sneaking, conniving little bitch. I’ve known that for a long, long time now, and I can’t say I was sorry to see her and Charles go.”

“Go?” she echoed stupidly, her curiosity piqued as her heart raced.

“Yes, go. The last I saw of her and Charles, they were on a ship heading for San Francisco," he grinned, "the land of golden opportunity. I made sure my brother won’t be able to show his face in Boston again, at least not until he can pay back the debts he so stupidly incurred. Personally, I’d be happy never to set eyes on both their miserable faces again.”

“Y-you sent her away?” Hope asked breathlessly. Her heart skipped a beat, then pounded wildly. She was almost afraid to believe her ears.

“Of course I did,” Drake scoffed. Planting balled fists on his hips, he looked at her skeptically. “Did you think I’d want her around so she could come between us again? I’m not that foolish, Hope. I may make a mistake once, but I learn fast enough not to do the same thing twice. Not when I want something as badly as I want you. What are smiling at, sunshine?”

Hope couldn’t contain her grin. She’d never been so happy in her life. It took all of her self-control not to fling herself headlong into his arms. She bit the impulse back, but it wasn’t easy.

Of course, the thought of Charles and Angelique feebly attempting to work a claim didn’t help to diminish the smile lacing her lips. The two would never survive! She could no more imagine Angelique working by her husband’s side than she could picture Charles wearing a pair of unfashionable denims and a flannel, flinging a pick, or up to his knees in mud as he panned a river, while Angelique whined from the bank about chipping a nail or tearing her skirt.

Hope sucked in a ragged breath when Drake’s thumb slipped over her jaw, under her chin. He pulled her laughing gaze back to his. “What are you smiling at?” he repeated.

“I was just wondering,” she shrugged, an impish twinkle sparkling in her large brown eyes. Her spirit hadn’t felt this light in years! “Do you think California will survive after those two are done with it?”

Drake grinned. “Not a chance. The governor will probably be forced to secede the state from the sheer humiliation of having them there.”

Hope giggled, instinctively turning her cheek into Drake's palm. It was roughly calloused, exactly the way she had remembered it in her dreams. “Maybe they’ll be lucky and the Indians will revolt again. Or Mexico will—”

Without warning, and before she could finish the thought, Hope found herself scooped into Drake’s embrace and being kissed soundly. The hat was knocked from his head, leaving only the sky blue bandanna to cover his nakedness; a nakedness that managed to press and warm every available inch of her front.

“Put me down, you fool!” she cried, swatting his bare shoulders and pushing from his embrace. Try though she might, Hope couldn’t stop her hungry gaze from roving up and down his exposed body. She cleared her throat trying to clear away the breathless passion that clouded her thoughts. “You said you had a job to offer me. What is it? I—I think I might be interested after all.”

“Oh really?” he said as his fingers slipped free the buttons lining her back. “And what changed your mind?” Hope grinned shyly as she untied his bandanna. She started to look down, then, realizing what was there, decided against it. Reluctantly, she met his gaze. “I—I think I love you, too.”

The smile that split his face couldn’t have been wider. “I’ve been waiting a lifetime to hear you say that, sunshine,” Drake groaned as he slipped the minty silk down her arms, then captured her to his chest. His heart drummed rhythmically beneath her palms, his flesh warm and firm against her hand.

“Now, tell me about this job,” Hope insisted, using up the last shred of her self-control. Shifting slightly, she helped him in lifting the white cotton chemise over her head. In less than a minute the cool breeze was caressing her naked flesh. “What does it pay? What are the hours? Is travel included? I’m afraid I don’t travel well, although I must say I do a hell of a lot better than Bentley.
Bentley!”
Her eyes widened as she pushed away from him. “Oh, my God, I’ve got to get to Norfolk and let her know I won’t be—what are you laughing at?
Drake?
”

Drake tried to wipe away his grin with a hand. It wouldn’t go. “There’s—um—there’s something else I guess I should tell you, sunshine. But I don’t think you’re going to be too happy to hear it.”

“I’m listening.” Her brown eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms over her chest. Her toe tapped the ground with impatience. “Well? What is it?”

For the first time in his life, Drake Frazier actually looked sheepish. “You don’t have to go to Norfolk, Hope. Bentley’s already on her way to Boston. She—um—she left last week.”