Buster's Diaries: The True Story of a Dog and His Man (14 page)

Her father has bought her a machine which the Man calls a virtual pet. Its name is Tamagotchi, but the little girl calls it
Buster after me. I am sure that it will grow up to be very well behaved.

I think I would have learnt more quickly if, from the very beginning, I had been brought up like the two little girls. As
far as I can make out, they never lived rough in a park or got moved from orphanage to
orphanage with nobody to talk to them. I only remember that it happened to me, because the Man keeps telling people about
it. To be honest, I don’t remember much, unless a smell or sound reminds me. And these days all the smells and sounds are
warm and comfortable.

The End

Dear new American friends:

I’m known as “the most famous dog in Britain” and I still don’t quite understand it… All I did was defend myself against an
overly aggressive royal goose near Buckingham Palace. Suddenly the press was hounding me. Then, after I put paw to paper to
tell my side of the story, it Became a Big bestseller! I hope you’d like my “heartwarming story of triumph over adversity.”
It starts at the Beginning when the Man rescues me, an orphaned crossbreed puppy, from a very rough life. Even at that tender
age, I quickly learned and excelled at my canine duties. And in my diaries I reveal with reckless honesty the indignities
I suffered, such as the fact that a grown human, fully dressed, has Been known to take my paws in his hands and cry, “Shall
we dance? One, two, three. Look, Buster is Deborah Kerr in The King and I!” And yes, I confess everything about “the goose
incident.” But what I most want to tell you about is the relationship Between me and the Man on the other end of the leash
and all the secrets Between Pet and Man that even the feline/fish/feather-dependent will find fascinating!

Love and Biscuits,

Buster

“Buster is… quite probably the finest canine writer to have emerged in decades.”

—
The Mail on Sunday