Brotherhood 02 - Broken Promise (15 page)

Sarah sat in the carriage opposite Captain Landwell and stared out the window as the English countryside rolled by. They’d left the Spotted Goose three days ago and would arrive in London late this afternoon. She was scared to death.

Major Talbot and Liddy—as Lady Lydia had insisted Sarah call her—had remained until the day before they left, then they’d taken Jonathan with them to Southerby Manor. A small army of outriders accompanied them for protection, but they left Liddy’s maid, Bertie, and Major Talbot’s valet, Vincent, behind to assist Sarah and Austin. Liddy had also sent two large valises filled with gowns and other clothing she insisted Sarah would need while in London.

Sarah had argued that the maid and beautiful clothes weren’t necessary, but Liddy had insisted, saying it wouldn’t look right to travel without someone to act as chaperone, and that Sarah would need the clothes once she arrived in London. As fortune would have it, they were very nearly the same size. So, Bertie and Vincent rode in a carriage ahead of them with the luggage, and she and Austin rode in a second carriage.

At the last stop, Austin sent the other carriage ahead to tell his brother, the Earl of Etherington, that they would arrive sometime before dark. At the speed the fields and pastures rolled by, she thought they’d be there soon.

“Are you comfortable?” Austin asked.

His quiet question brought her back from thoughts of what would happen when they reached London. Knowing the monumental decision awaiting her gripped her with a fear that was nearly overwhelming. She’d been convinced for so long that Penderly was a black-hearted villain that she couldn’t imagine making the decision that would give Jonathan over to him. But…

What if she discovered he wasn’t the evil person Lady Fledgemont had painted him to be? What if it was obvious he had nothing to do with the attempts on Jonathan’s life? Could she give Jonathan up to him?

“Do you need another pillow for your shoulder?” Austin asked, encouraging her to answer.

Her shoulder ached from the jostling of the carriage, but she didn’t want him to know that. The way he’d watched over her since they’d begun this last part of the journey was disconcerting. It was as if he knew what would happen when they reached London and wanted to ease her way as much as he could.

She refused to allow him to comfort her. His concern made her weak, made her want to rely on him, and she couldn’t let herself do that. She needed to be strong, independent. It would make what she had to do much easier. “I’m fine. Are we almost there?”

“In an hour or so. We’ll be there mid afternoon.”

“Will your brother mind us intruding?”

He smiled. It was the first truly open smile she’d seen from him in weeks. “We won’t be intruding. Harrison will welcome the company.”

“Is he very much like you, then?”

Her question brought out a deep, rich laugh that sent a warm rumble churning in the pit of her stomach.

“No, he’s nothing like me. He’s dedicated to a fault and takes his job as head of the family very seriously. He spends nearly every waking hour working on the estate books, overseeing the shipping companies of which he’s a partner, and conferring with the estate stewards to make sure our tenants are being adequately cared for. He’s hinted more than once that he’s made Liddy and me very wealthy.”

“Is money so important to him?”

“Yes. Making sure we have more than we’ll ever need is. Our father nearly bankrupted us a few years ago. His irresponsibility nearly cost Liddy and Gabe their lives. Harry is obsessed with making sure nothing like that ever happens again.”

“He can’t work all the time,” she said. “What does he do for enjoyment? Does he like the theater? The opera? Does he go to many balls and social events?”

“Heavens, no. I’m not sure Harrison knows how to relax. He’s too busy working to take any time to enjoy himself.”

She couldn’t hide her smile.

“What?” he asked.

“I thought you said he was nothing like you.”

“He isn’t.”

“From your description, he’s
exactly
like you. I think you were cut from the same cloth.”

“Where do you get that from?”

“You don’t consider yourself serious? Well, I don’t think it’s possible for anyone to be more serious than you. Nor do I think it’s possible for anyone to spend more hours working than you do. And, when was the last time you spent any hours away from your job? Your sister told me that she and the major have repeatedly begged you to come to the country to visit them, but you’re always too busy protecting the streets of London from thieves and murderers to come to Southerby.”

“I think my sister talks too much.”

Sarah smiled, enjoying their conversation more than she could say. If they were going anyplace other than London, on a mission that involved anything other than facing the Earl of Penderly, her journey would be delightful indeed. She would enjoy nothing more than spending time with Austin.

“Your sister is worried about you. She thinks you’re running from something.”

His eyebrows arched. “Now I
know
she talks too much.”

“She said you used to enjoy going to every ball and social gathering Society hosted. What changed?”

When he didn’t answer, Sarah thought he didn’t intend to. Then he spoke.

“The war,” he said. “It has a way of changing a person.”

She looked at the serious expression on his face. Something troubled him. Something that still haunted him. “I know. There was a young man in our parish who went to war. He was tall and handsome and always laughed easily. All the girls in the area were madly in love with him.”

“Even you?”

She couldn’t help but smile. “I wasn’t old enough to draw his attention. Or pretty enough.”

“I can’t believe that.”

“Oh, it’s true. I stood back every Sunday after services and watched the girls rush toward him to say a few words. I could tell he enjoyed the attention. And the girls enjoyed receiving his.”

“Then what happened?”

“He went to war.”

The carriage hit a small bump and a stabbing pain shot through Sarah’s arm. She shifted to place it where it was more comfortable. “When he came back, he wasn’t the same at all. His parents couldn’t force him to leave the house. Yet, nearly every night you’d see him roaming the hillsides until the sun came up.”

The expression on Austin’s face changed. A haunted look filled his eyes and his lips pressed tightly together.

“What happened to him?” he asked.

“I don’t know. The last I knew, he still lived with his parents.”

“Perhaps when this business in London is over, you can give me the young man’s name and I can visit him.”

“You would do that?”

He shrugged his shoulders. Before he could give a definite answer, the carriage hit a rut in the road and Sarah flew back against the corner.

She tried to keep from crying out, but the sharp jolt was too much to endure in silence.

“Ah, hell,” he said, then shifted from his side of the carriage to hers. He took her hand, then, realizing what she needed, he drew her into his arms and brought her against him, using himself to buffer the jolting of the carriage. “Are you all right?” He cushioned her to his chest.

“Yes, it surprised me more than anything.”

“Why don’t I believe you?”

“Because you’re not very trusting.”

“Or perhaps because it’s obvious you are in pain. You’re trembling.”

She took in long, deep breaths until the pain lessened, then relaxed against him. “Actually, that’s…that’s much better. Thank you.”

For several seconds they sat in silence. Then Sarah shifted enough to lift her chin and look into his face.

“Your sister told me that before the war you were the life of every party you attended. And that you had scores of beautiful woman clamoring to snag you for their husband.”

“Well, you can’t believe everything Liddy says.”

Sarah laughed. “I think I can. I can imagine you being the most popular gentleman at any event. I can also imagine that every female who cast eyes on you fell in love with you.”

“Can you?”

His chest rumbled beneath her ear and she knew he was laughing. Her insides warmed.

“What else do you think?”

She relaxed into him, into this unexpected safe place. “I think that you’re a very daring and brave man, but that something terrible happened to you while you were in the war. And I think that whatever it was, it affected you the same as it did the young man back home.”

He stiffened, and she knew she’d struck a nerve.

“Do you know what I think?” he asked after several heartbeats. “I think that you are far too perceptive for your own good.”

She lifted her head from his chest. “For my good? Or for yours?”

“Both. And when you look at me like that, you’re at a greater risk than you can imagine. It makes me want to…” His eyes focused on her mouth.

She knew he intended to kiss her. She also knew she should discourage it. But Heaven help her, she couldn’t. She wanted him to kiss her. She’d imagined him doing that since he’d pressed against her and held her captive at their first meeting. Whatever words she might say to resist him, she knew her eyes were telling him otherwise.

He placed a finger beneath her chin and tipped her head upward, then lowered his head until his lips touched hers.

Their first kiss was gentle, the tentative introduction of two strangers who were attracted to each other. His kiss was soft and tender, and he briefly lifted his mouth from hers, then brought it back down.

Their second kiss was more intense, more powerful, more demanding. He kissed her as if they were no longer strangers, but lovers. As if a bond had formed between them that needed to be sealed, needed to be strengthened.

He deepened his kiss, asking something from her she wasn’t sure she understood. But she followed his lead. She opened her mouth when his tongue touched her lips and he entered as if searching for something special. She met his entreaty because she was certain she possessed what he sought.

Their tongues touched, mated, battled for dominance. And the minute he overpowered her, a stunning warmth bloomed within her chest.

“Sarah,” he said, lifting his mouth from hers. His voice sounded hoarse, raspy. “Sarah,” he whispered once more, then brought his mouth down over hers again.

Her flesh burned where he touched her and she wrapped her arm around his neck. A voice in the back of her head whispered that she was in pain, but the thundering inside her chest was so much more overpowering, so much more intense that she didn’t care about the stabbing in her shoulder. Not when she was overwhelmed by so much pleasure.

She matched his demands with an eagerness that set her mind reeling. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t control the raging emotions running rampant through her. She couldn’t understand how a kiss could have so much power over her.

She knew they should stop, but how could they when this is what she’d ached to have him do from the day she’d first met him?

She cupped her hand to his cheek and felt the stubble on his face. There was nothing about him she didn’t want to discover, to know. There was nothing he could offer that she didn’t want to experience.

She turned into him to get closer and he kissed her with greater desperation. This was one of the mysterious connections between a man and a woman that she’d never understood before. The emotion raging within her possessed a strange and liberating force that nearly consumed her. And for one brief moment, she glimpsed what it would be like to give her heart to someone. For one brief moment, she knew what it was like to be in love.

He kissed her once again, then lifted his mouth from hers.

Sarah’s gaze traveled over his face, took in the dark look of passion in his eyes. She didn’t want him to be sorry he’d kissed her. She didn’t want him to regret what they’d done. She didn’t.

Instead of pulling away from him like she knew she should, she leaned into him again and placed her head against his chest. His heart thundered in her ear and she smiled.

“What are you smiling about?” he asked when he’d caught his breath.

“You called me Sarah. That’s the first time you’ve called me anything but Lady Fledgemont.”

“That’s because that’s who I thought you were.”

“But surely you knew Lady Fledgemont’s name. Why didn’t you call me Collette?”

“Because the name didn’t fit.”

“Didn’t it?”

“No.“

“Does Sarah fit?”

“Oh, yes. Sarah suits you fine. It’s a beautiful name. You’re a beautiful person.”

She felt her cheeks grow warm. “I should argue with you but I’m not going to. I’m going to store the compliment away because it’s a first for me.”

“No one’s ever told you that you’re beautiful?”

She laughed. “Of course not. My father was a vicar. No one would lie to the vicar’s daughter.”

“Ah, then you have a lot of ‘firsts’ yet to experience.”

Sarah nestled close to him while the carriage rumbled across the countryside. She felt comfortable with him holding her like this. Comfortable even though neither of them spoke. But a niggling question ate at her and wouldn’t go away. Finally, she had to know the answer.

“Why did you kiss me?”

He hesitated, then answered her question with a question. “Why do you
think
I kissed you?”

She wanted to believe he’d kissed her because he was as drawn to her as she was to him. That’s what she wanted to believe. What she feared though, was that he’d kissed her to encourage an infatuation that could later be used to his advantage. If she developed feelings for him, how could she refuse his request to hand Jonathan over to the Earl of Penderly? How could she refuse him anything?

She could never allow that to happen. Even if it was impossible for him to see Penderly’s guilt, she’d be able to.