Broken Strings (A Rock Star Novel) (6 page)

Of course I’m probably way
over thinking the whole thing. He probably hasn't even given it a second
thought and I’m standing here obsessing over it. How pathetic am I?

Judging by the length of the
line, we’re probably about fifty people from the first door. I can just see the
security guard there whose job it is to dash people’s dreams while making
other’s come true. 

I am so lost in thought that
at first I don’t notice Stewart working his way through the line. I’m pretty
sure he’s looking for us. I step off to the side of the line, letting go of
Gabby and Brand and wave my hands and shout.

“Hey Stewart!”

I have to shout about 3 times
before he hears me and starts looking around. Finally he sees me and waves.
That right there’s enough to garner me a half dozen dirty looks from the girls
around me. To my surprise he greets me with a brief hug. That gets me a dozen
more jealous looks.

“So glad I found you. Silas
is waiting.”

This time, without giving it
a second thought I grab Brand’s hand and follow Stewart down the line. Weird
thing is, holding hands with Brand seems perfectly natural. The sight of the
three of us being singled out by the band’s manager to go hang with the band is
almost more than some of my fellow Lunatics can bear.

By the time we step through
the door the crowd is fit to lynch us. The three of us follow Stewart down the
final hall where there’s one more security guard posted. I'm surprised how at excited
I am as we approach the lounge. It’s old hat to me now that I know what to
expect, yet I can feel my heart racing as we draw up to the guard at the last
door to the lounge.

The second the door shuts
behind us and I feel like Alice who’s just fallen down a rabbit hole. Not
surprising, a bluish haze has begun to form on the ceiling and is in the
process of slowly settling down around the heads of the party goers. I recognize
a few fellow Lunatics in the crowd as well as a contingent of questionable
young ‘women’ who are swaying to the strains of some music coming from I don’t
know where.

I don’t exactly know why, but
when I spot Silas I immediately drop Brand’s hand like a hot potato. I’m
starting to feel self-conscious as I work my way past a small throng of totally
hot women who are all vying for Silas's attention. He breaks out a huge smile
the moment he realizes I’m in the room.

He walks up to me and holds
out his had to shake. In a room that’s oozing with raw, hedonistic sensuality,
a handshake is so stiffly formal it’s absurd. As I reach out to take his hand
the witty greeting I had planned out in my head evaporates the second our fingers
touch. His touch is electric. I can feel waves of energy circulating through my
veins. It’s enough to nearly take my breath away.

He holds my hand for a
second, then steps forwards and before I know it he’s got me in his embrace. I
can feel the muscles in his back as my arm naturally circles around his body.
He’s warm and I can feel raw desire starting to rear its head. For the briefest
instant my breasts press up against his muscular chest and my nipples harden as
they rub up against his firm body.

I sure picked the wrong night
to not wear a bra. I stiffen, and he realizes it and breaks off the hug. We
both take a step back and I collide with Gabby who is directly behind me.

“G-Gabby this is Sam,” I
stammer, not even realizing I have just called him the fake name he gave us in
the coffee shop.

“Uh, June we we’re in the
coffee shop remember, or have you just temporarily lost your mind?”

I feel stupid immediately and
give her a nasty look and she just ignores me and says to Silas; “So you had a
pretty good week then. You went from coffee house nobody to rock star guitarist
with Fringe…”

“That wasn’t the best part of
my week.” He responds to Gabby, as he looks at me.

I’m frozen in place. It’s
like his gaze has this hypnotic power over me and every time I look into his
eyes I get lost in them; and it is a nice place to be lost. The way he looks at
me, it makes me melt.

“Okay…maybe you two should
get a room then…” Gabby says, clearly bored with our one-sided conversation. She
trails off and wanders over and strikes up a conversation with one of the
Lunatics she knows.

Silas opens his mouth to say
something but just then, a gorgeous Asian girl fakes a stumble and collides
into his chest. In one smooth move he places his hands on her shoulders, steadies
her, and redirects her momentum to the couch right behind him.

He doesn’t see the nasty look
she gives him as she flops down beside another girl who appears to have passed
out. It’s apparent even to me, that he has eyes for only one person in this
room; I just can’t figure out why.

Finally I find my voice
again.

“So you wanted to see me?” I
ask.

“Did you enjoy the show?” he
asks in that deep voice of his.

“You mean other than the fact
that the set list was an uninspired collection of overly pretentious metal
riffs, and the speakers distorted everything above 70 decibels? Yeah it was a
good show as far as mediocre sub-par rock shows go. Can’t you tell? I’m
captivated, best show of my life and what not.”

I keep a severe look on my
face as long as I can stand before breaking into an unrestrained smile. He
looks so hurt, like he’d just lost his favorite puppy to an alligator or
something equally horrible. I can't help but laugh.

“Wow,” he says. “That’s gotta
be the most you’ve ever said to me
and
you made a joke. After the other
night I didn’t think you were capable of it.”

“Yeah, I like use my caustic
repartee to keep the wolves at bay.”

“What wolves?” He looks
around the room dramatically, and then points to his chest. “I’m all sheep
here.”

“
In
wolves clothing no
doubt,” I reply.

“Oh there are some wolves in
here without a doubt, but if you’ll just put your hand on my chest here you’ll
see I really am all warm and fuzzy inside.”

“Wow, was that…are you trying
to use a pick up line on me? Tell me that was not a pick-up line.”

“One of my best.” He says
with a smile.

“And the mystery of why
you’re still single has been solved.”

“Are you always like this
June?”

“Sorry, I’m just naturally
suspicious of rock stars.”

“But you’re a Lunatic right?
I thought Lunatic’s loved their band. I’ve even heard they’ll do anything just
to meet us.”

“Well don’t get too excited
Sam, I put on my chastity belt before coming here tonight.”

“Of course you did. But
honestly, I just wanted to get to know you better.”

“So you thought you’d get to
know me better in a marijuana smoke filled room full of twice as many Lunatics
as allowed in one room by the Fire Marshall?”

“Yes, yes I did. Although I
admit, the idea sounded a whole lot better this morning.” He pauses a moment, “So
how am I doing?”

“What’s the point? I don’t
date rock stars and I don’t have casual sex either.”

“Well then we can have deeply
committed romantic-”

“Finish that sentence Mr.
Mann and you’ll have to change your name to Silas WO-mann.” I say tapping my
foot in a meaningful manner.

“And there’s the June we all
know and love.”

I’m really trying not to like
the guy, but my mind and body are shooting me mixed messages. Just being in his
vicinity has alarms bells going off, my body is undeniably responding to his. It’s
between my ears where the problem lies.

There’s just no way can I let
myself date a rock star. I mean, it’d be the stupidest thing I could ever do,
and I have had my share of loser romances before. I shouldn’t even have come
here tonight and I’m not sure why I did.

Then he grabs my hand, and
with his simple touch I’m reminded why I can’t seem to stay away from him. I
just-.

“Earth calling June…”

“Sorry, when I get bored I
tend to just check out.”

“Ouch! I’m gonna start
calling you Rose because-”

“Because I’m beautiful and as
thorny as hell,” I finish the sentence for him.

“Well actually I was going to
say horny as hell,” he pauses when he sees the look of shock on my face. “Yeah,
your nostrils flare, your eyes dilate, and you start breathing fast whenever we
get too close.”

I’m at a loss for words. He
has embarrassed me into silence.

“I’m kidding,” he finally
says.

“Well
I’m
horny as
hell!” Says the gorgeous woman he basically tossed to the couch on her first
failed attempt to catch a rock star. She’s up on her feet again and doing her
best to rub up against him like a dog in heat.

“There you go,” I say
pointing to her. “She’s beautiful and horny as hell. It’s a perfect match.”

“Wow,” says a familiar voice
in my ear. Gabby’s back at my side. “I’ve never seen anyone try so hard to not
like a guy that she’s so totally in to.”

“My point exactly!” Silas
says triumphantly.

“Hey, this is a private
conversation,” I say. Then I turn to face Gabby. “I am NOT into him. Can’t you
see he irritates the hell out of me?”

“Yeah, no one’s ever had this
effect on miss ice queen June Cho.”

“Hey I’m no ice queen. For
your information,” I pause and raise my voice to make sure Silas hears me. “I
am into Brand. We’re dating now.” I say that like it settles everything and there’ll
be no more talking about Silas and I.

“The writer dude? No, I see
the way you look at him." Silas says, with a mischievous smile. "You’re
trying too hard to like him. You shouldn’t have to try, it should just come
naturally. You know, like with us."

“With you?” I ask
incredulously. “I have been standing here for twenty minutes now trying to like
you. There’s a big difference you know.”

“What’s that saying about
time and fun? Something like time flying when you’re having fun…”

“What’s your point Silas?”

“Well, if there’s any truth
to that saying, considering what time it is now, I’d say that for you this
whole evening has been nothing short of
electrifying
!”

“Really, because it feels
more like asleep on my feet.”

“Well you must be having one
hell of a wet dream then.” He says boldly.

My mouth literally drops
open. “Tell me I didn’t just hear you say wet dream Silas!”

And when he doesn’t refute it
I say, “That’s it, I’m out of here.”

“See you tomorrow Junie” He
says, with a twinkle in his eye.

“Y-you…I-I…” I stammer and
turn around and almost run into Brand. On impulse I give him a kiss, a
lingering, hard kiss on the lips and stomp off. There, that should shut Silas
up!

I don’t dare look at Brand as
we make our way out. I can only just imagine the expression on his face, or
what he must be thinking right about now. I don’t even know what I’m thinking
and I’m the one who initiated the kiss in the first place. Suddenly I realize I
have just unbelievably complicated what was once an easy friendship. 

As Stewart shows us out I
hear Silas’ voice one last time. “See you tomorrow Junie.”

Damn him!

Chapter Six

Lunatic June

As the three of us exit HP
Pavilion, Brand takes my hand in his. Gabby notices and glances up at me with a
questioning look. I meet her gaze for a moment and then look down at my shoes.
I am not really sure how I feel about Brand
or
Silas at this point.

Brand is the here and now,
the safe bet that I seem to be drawn to emotionally while Silas is the uncertain
future, bad boy that my body is inexplicably drawn to. Having one guy
interested in me at a time is enough work; but having two, that’s just too
much.

Actually the decision is
easy. Obviously there’s no future with Silas and pretty soon the West coast leg
of the tour will wrap up and they’ll fly across the pond to start their
European tour. No way can I go to Europe, so even if there is something between
us, and there isn’t, it’s not practical.

Nope that settles it. I
cannot get into some long distance relationship with a rock star no matter how
hot he is. But if that’s the truth, then why am I pining away for him while I’m
holding hands with my new man, Brand?

Gabby's car is closest so we
send her off first and then we stop at mine. I stop at the door and turn to
face Brand for the first time since I surprised him with a kiss. His eyes are
shinning in the streetlamps. I know what he expects. I kinda set the tone for
it earlier today. I decide to just get it over with instead of prolonging the
awkwardness.

I step up to him, closing the
distance between us and lean in to kiss him, when he puts a finger to my lips.

“You don’t have to June,
Silas isn't watching you now.”

I stop mid-motion and look
around dramatically. “Damn, your right! Oh well, good night then.” I say.

I make like I’m going to get
in the car to leave, and then stop with my hand on the door handle. He catches
my arm for a second, then his hand slides down my forearm and back into my hand
once more. I turn to face him. I’m hoping the light isn’t enough for him to see
my burning cheeks.

What a mess I’ve made of the
night! I don’t know if I can bear to see either Silas or Brand again anytime
soon. The good news is I won’t be seeing Silas from any closer than the front
stage. But now I have to negotiate the world while avoiding Brand and I’m not
sure I’m prepared to do that either.

“It’s been kind of a weird
night,” he says, while taking a cautious step in my direction. We’re getting
uncomfortably close. I’m either gonna have to kiss him or duck under his arm
and make my escape. Of course that would put him between me and my car.

“Look,” he begins again.
“What happened back there…” He pauses again.

Wow, this isn’t uncomfortable
at all.

“What I’m trying to say June,
if you’re not ready for this…meaning me and you, it’s okay. I mean things were
pretty weird back there so you know; we can shake or just hug it out and go our
separate ways if you like. If you want me to call you I will, or if you’d rather
call me when you’re rea-”

I kiss him. I can’t help it.
I just can’t help it. This time he really responds. I think he was just in too
much shock last time and there were so many people around and Silas was
standing right there…But this time it’s perfect. We’re both still buzzing from
the glow of a metal show and probably a little high from all the marijuana
smoke in the room.

His lips are warm and his
breath is minty fresh. It’s not a quick kiss, but it’s not a long one either,
and when we break it off, my heart’s thumping in my chest and I’m beginning to
breathe faster. We look at each other for a moment then as if on cue, our lips
find each other, but this time our kiss is fueled by desire that wasn’t there a
moment ago.

First kisses can be awkward
sometimes as you learn how the other person moves his mouth and holds his head.
A little nose bumping is common until both people figure the other out. This,
our first
official
kiss
is not one of those awkward affairs,
thank God.

My body is telling me to let
go and just kiss Brand and enjoy it, but my head won’t let my body win this
one. It’s late and my head is buzzing away a little too pleasantly for me to be
thinking clearly right now, and I really don’t want to do anything I may regret
later.

Our noses are nearly
touching, and I can feel his breath on my face. It would be real easy for me to
lose control and just let it happen. We’d end up going to my place and then I’d
wake up in the morning with this almost stranger lying next to me and regret it,
and suddenly it’s every other relationship I’ve ever had. The only thing
different is the name of the guy passed out next to me. No thanks.

And then there’s Silas...The
problem here is that every time I close my eyes I see him, regardless of how
supremely annoying he is. There’s just something about him, something more than
the fact that he's a guitar player in my all-time favorite band. It’s also more
than physical attraction too.

Brand takes my face ever so
gently in his hands and gives me an earnest kiss. What starts as another tender
sweet press of the lips builds in urgency until our lips meld together as one.
His breath comes in short bursts from his nostrils as the need for air
supersedes his desire to kiss me. The tender way he holds my face in his hands
practically melts me.

Suddenly I realize he has me
leaning up against my car door and in the process our hips connect. I can feel
his desire for me so powerfully intimate. It nearly robs me of my breath. I’m
getting the feeling our bodies would fit together perfectly if we were in my
bed instead of leaned up against my car at 3:30 in the morning.

I also have the feeling that
with a little encouragement on my part, we could both end up in the back seat
of my Prius, and I really don’t want my first time with Brand, if there is going
to be one, in the back seat of my car. Seeing how I am trapped up against my
car door, the only way I can think of to break off the kiss is with my hands. I
reach up with my right hand and slip it between our lips, and my fingers press
gently against his full lips.

“I’m sorry,” I begin, trying
to catch my breath without looking like I’m out of breath. “It’s really late…”
I trail off, not really sure what to say.

“It’s fine June. We both have
an hour or so driving to do and you, you must have a job to go to tomorrow or
something?”

“I don’t actually have to go
in until eleven so…”

“What do you do by the way?”

“Not that this is the time
for a big let me tell you about my life kind of conversation, I’m a paramedic
at Highland Hospital. I work in the ER. I got someone covering my shift until
eleven so I’ll catch a little shuteye before I have to go in.”

“Wow, and here I thought you
Lunatics were all beauty and no brains…I’m a night security guard at San
Francisco General. In case you were curious. Writing just doesn’t pay the bills
right now.”

“You seem like a smart guy,
I’m sure it’ll work out for you eventually. But now I really should go.”

He leans in for one more
kiss, but I deflect his lips again with my hand. “No, I really have to go.”

“Okay…okay. Just a peck,
that’s all, I promise.”

“A peck, nothing more?”

“Scout’s honor.”

“Alright.”

He leans in and gives me a
chaste kiss on the mouth.

“You
are
a man of your
word Brand.”

“Yes ma’am,” he says as he
turns to go. Then, as I’m shutting my door, “wait. I didn’t get your digits.”

“You can email me. [email protected]”
I holler as my door closes. I look over at him to make sure he’s got it, and
when he gives me the thumbs up I take off. If I’m lucky I’ll be at home in bed
between 4:30 and 5:00am.

By the time I get home the
excitement of the evening has begun to wear off. I can no longer rely on
adrenaline to keep me awake and focused. I start my day at 9:30, correctly
anticipating that I would need exercise and an unhealthy amount of coffee to
get myself awake and focused on work. The nice thing about working in the ER is
even on slow days, there’s enough going on that you can usually count on at
least some adrenaline to get you through the day. Not only does adrenaline
chase away the cobwebs of sleep, it focuses you on the task at hand, whatever
that may be.

Luckily Gabby is working a
shift tomorrow in the ER too, she's been a nurse there for years now, that's
how we met. Almost the minute I walk in the door to the ER, a shot of
adrenaline follows right behind. A lady runs up to me from the parking lot, out
of breath and in a panic.

Time to go to work.

~~~

Dressed back in my civilian
clothes I head back to the ER to say goodnight to my coworkers and make my
schedule for the following week.

When I go through the
doctor’s entrance I spot Gabby and one of the ER docs deep in conversation,
neither of them looks too happy. The doctor notices I'm standing there and
looks up at me, signaling Gabby. The instant she turns around I know something
is wrong. I remember hearing sirens as I got out of the shower, and by the look
on Gabby’s face, she’s got news I’m not going to like.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, as she
draws me aside. I can tell by the look on her face that it’s bad.

“It’s Brand!” She says, tears
begin streaming down her face.