Broken Forest: Book One of the Daath Chronicles (29 page)

“Understood,” Raven replied, her glance shifting to me.

I didn’t like the idea of Raven putting herself in danger, especially when I wouldn’t be there to protect her. Derrick and Jericho seemed fine, but I had a bad feeling.

Without my journal, I couldn’t relax. As Derrick snored, I sat staring out the window, watching the stars. I kept replaying Jeslyn’s reaction. The far-off look on her face and the stiffness of her body when Derrick held her. Was Derrick right? I always knew Jeslyn hated our family’s status and it wasn’t her fault. Mother’s father was a wealthy sea merchant. Since Jeslyn was a babe, he’d spoiled her with gifts, each one more extravagant than before. Jeslyn never understood why Mother left all that money to live on a farm, and she didn’t understand why we couldn’t live with our grandfather. Then Jeslyn had spent that summer at Luna Harbor, living her fantasy life—Mother should have never let her go.

Can I force her home if this is what she really wants? Did we come all this way for nothing?
I shook my head, brushing off the anger. People had died on this journey, good men. I’d killed to come here, maybe even innocent men, and for what? Nothing.

Through the window I saw Raven walk into the barn. I glanced at Derrick, still snoring, and snuck out.

Inside the barn, Raven was petting Onyx. She saw me and waved.

I waved back. “What are you doing in here?”

“Can’t sleep, and when I can’t sleep, I come here. I say hi to the horses and practice with my Bo staff.”

“A Bo staff? That’s an unusual weapon.”

“I’m an unusual girl. How’s Derrick?”

I kicked a rock on the ground, moving closer to her. “He’ll be okay.”

She walked over to the wall and took down two wooden staffs. She tossed one to me.

“You sure you want to fight me?” I slid my hands to the center of the staff and pointed it at her.

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t think you’re that tough.”

“Oh, really?”

She came at me with a forward thrust. I blocked it, but almost dropped the staff. Staffs were not my favored weapon, too big and clunky.

She attacked again and after my clumsy block, she swept my legs, and I fell flat on my back. She stood over me, grinning.

Well, this is embarrassing.

I took a deep breath and vaulted onto my feet. She jabbed, twirled around and hit me with a low jab. I anticipated it and blocked. Using all my strength, I lifted my staff straight up and knocked hers out of her hands. She bounced back and tried to retrieve it, but I playfully slapped her hands away with my staff. I pointed at her and she threw her hands up in defeat. I dropped the weapon and bowed to her. She leapt past me and swiped the weapon.

“Cheater!” I yelled and sidestepped her incoming attack, grabbing her. She released the staff and we tumbled into a pile of hay. I landed on top of her. Before she could move, I pinned her hands to the ground.

“I knew you couldn’t beat me.”

“You’re just lucky,” she said in a breathy tone.

“What’s my prize?”

Her brows narrowed. “Your prize?”

“The winner always gets a prize,” I stated.

“I’ll have to think about it, but how about you get off me, first.”

I lowered my face, closer to hers. “What’s the rush?”

“Because you’re crushing me.”

“Fair enough.”

I backed off and stood, offering her my hand. She took it and I pulled her out of the hay. Once on her feet, she pulled her hand, but I held on to it. I reached to her face and she flinched. “Stay still,” I said, and picked out a long piece of straw stuck in her hair.

“Thanks,” she mumbled.

I nodded and let go of her.

“Good night, then.” She turned around and walked away from me.

“Raven, wait.”

“What?” She looked everywhere but where I stood.

Did I do something wrong?
I walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Raven?” When she didn’t answer, I gently squeezed her. “Talk to me.”

She sighed.

“Are you upset I beat you?”

She barely cracked a smile, but it was enough to ease the tension. “No, I’m not that much of a sore loser.”

“Good, now come here.” Without giving her a chance to refuse, I grabbed her in a big hug. “You should smile more.”

She stiffened, but I could feel her heart race. “Raven?”

“Yes,” she replied in a shaky voice.

“Look at me.”

She lifted her head, and I brushed her cheek with my hand. This time she didn’t flinch, but she closed her eyes, avoiding the connection we had.

“Avikar … .”

Before she could finish, I kissed her. She felt perfect on my lips, soft and warm. I never knew I could feel anxious and blissful at the same time, but I did. Our lips parted and I whispered.

“I think I’m falling for you,” I said.

I had never been in love before. I’d liked a few girls, but never this intensely and I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

Raven nuzzled against my chest. “Don’t say that, anything but that.”

I pulled back. I wanted to see her face, but her head turned to the side, refusing to look at me. Her eyes watered and it nearly broke me.

“What’s wrong?” I slid my hands to her face holding it between my fingers. “Raven, talk to me.”

“I’m sorry. I have to go.” Her voice cracked and she broke away.

Before she could run, I blocked her exit.

“Don’t go,” I begged. She tried to push me aside. I gripped her arm and pulled her into my chest. “Tell me you don’t feel the same, and I’ll let you leave.”

She stared right at me, almost through me. Her dark eyes full of emotion. She didn’t say no so I kissed her again. Her arms molded around me, and I lifted her off the ground, kissing her with everything in me.

I held her in my arms, her feet back on the ground, kissing her forehead and stroking her hair. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone. You’re all I think about, and when you’re near me all I want is to touch you, kiss you and inhale every scent of you.”

Her lip quivered and I grabbed her hand. “What happens when this is all over?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

Her hands fiddled with my shirt. “Will you stay in Daath?”

“No.”

Her hands dropped.

I reached for her. “Let’s not worry about the future. All that matters is the way we feel for each other. Who cares about the rest?”

Her mouth hung open and tears filled her eyes. She shook her head. “Who cares?” She shook her head.

“You’re making this harder than it is.” She pouted and I grabbed her shoulders. “Do you like me?”

“Avikar.”

“It’s a yes or no question.”

She sighed. “Yes.”

I smiled and cupped her chin. “That’s all that matters.”

I kissed her. This time she stiffened and backed away. I grunted. “You’re driving me insane.”

Her eyes popped at the accusation. “Me?”

“Yes, your mixed signals are making me crazy.”

Her brow furrowed, and she folded her arms.

“I’m baring my soul and you’re playing head games.”

“You think this is a game to me?”

“I don’t know, Raven. You obviously have issues.”

Idiot.

“What I meant to say was … ”

She cut me off. “What you meant to say doesn’t matter, because I’m leaving.” And she stomped past me.

I grabbed her arm. “Raven. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

Her glare was unnerving. She stood straighter and took a deep breath. “It doesn’t matter. I should have known better.” Then she gave me a half smile. “Hopefully, next time I won’t be easily swooned by a pair of green eyes.”

What?

“Can I go now?”

I shook my head in defiance. “No, not when I don’t understand why you’re leaving.

She pulled away from me. “I’m sorry, Avikar.”

“You are the most complicated person I have ever met, and if it wasn’t for the mere fact you’ve taken up all my waking thoughts, I would’ve been long gone.”

Her face softened, but her eyes held an icy stare. We stood in an awkward silence. My head spiraled. Derrick was right. This was a mistake.

“I’m sorry I kissed you. It’ll never happen again.” I said it with venom, and I could see the crushing effect.

A single tear tread down her face.

“You shouldn’t be upset,” I said. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

That made her cry.

I walked past her, heading to the barn exit. I stopped right before leaving, her soft sobs tearing at my soul. Part of me wanted to hold her, tell her whatever she wanted to hear, but I wouldn’t. She knew how I felt. I’d never said such things to a girl, only to be turned away.

I stole one more glance at her. She wiped her eyes. I could feel my heart tugging to where she stood.
No, this ends now,
I thought, and I walked out.

The hot water soothed my skin, and the smell of jasmine relaxed my mind. Rose petals drifted on the water’s surface. I touched one, admiring the delicate texture. I was alone, soaking in a tub full of perfumed oils. The woman, Abigail, had given me an herbal tea and put me in here before disappearing. I pretended to act ill, but I don’t think she believed me. As long as Lucino didn’t prod further, everything would be fine.

I needed time to think.

My head rested on the ring of the white porcelain tub. My toes tapped the opposite side, creating small splashes. Closing my eyes, I fell into a daydream, thinking of home and the life I was so ready to leave behind.

“My lady?”

A servant girl entered, carrying a tray of barrettes, brushes and ribbons. A bright red ribbon lay amidst the pastel pinks and blues.

“Are you finished bathing?” the servant asked.

I shook my head, my eyes frozen on the ribbon. “I need a few moments alone, please.” She put the tray down on the vanity and left.

I stepped out of the bath, grabbing one of the robes hanging on a nearby rack and slipped in it. My hands trembled as I slowly grasped the ribbon. I rubbed it between my fingers, remembering … .

…

“Close your eyes,” Derrick had said, “and hold out your hands.”

“Fine.”

“And no peeking, either, Jeslyn.”

A moment passed.

“There, now you can open them.”

“It’s beautiful, Derrick! Thank you.”

“I love you. I always will, no matter what.”

…

Tears sprinkled my cheeks. I was ashamed at my behavior. I cared for Derrick, but these past weeks with Lucino had changed everything.

Who do I choose
?

I knew Avikar and Derrick wouldn’t lie to me, but I also knew Lucino and I shared a connection, and I owed it to him to find out the truth. Sneaking off in the middle of the night would only cause more danger. And if someone tried to kill my brother, I needed to know who.

Who do I believe
?

And I couldn’t deny the way I felt for Lucino. He filled me with heat I didn’t understand. I wiped my face and sniffled. Could a woman love two men? And if she did, how would the story end? If Lucino is innocent, then I should tell him what horrors his people do in his name.

“Jeslyn.”

I spun at the whisper of my name, but saw no one. “Hello? Is someone there?” Cold filled the room. I shivered. “Hello?”

“Jeslyn.”