Authors: George McCartney
Smiling broadly, he said, ‘I’m sorry about that guys, please come in and grab a seat. I'm Guy Brodie and you must be Jack Davidson and Annie James. Delighted to meet you both, Henry's been telling me all about you. He's a big fan, aren’t you Henry?’
‘Absolutely,’ replied Henry.
Following the introductions, Guy asked Henry to refresh his guests’ drinks while he complimented Annie her on her outfit.
She blushed demurely, but the moment was immediately spoiled by Henry butting in. 'Oh, by the way, Jack, did you hear the one about the wee guy from Glasgow, who was asked, 'What's been the secret of your long and happy marriage?'
Jack shook his head and exchanged an apprehensive glance with Annie, who began warming up her death stare. Henry ploughed relentlessly on in a cod Glasgow accent. 'So the wee guy says, 'well in my opinion, having good chemistry between partners is the absolute key to a long lasting relationship. Yeah, I'm on Methadone and the wife's on Prozac.' Good one, eh?'
There was a brief embarrassed silence in the room before Guy Brodie spoke. 'Please excuse my friend Henry, will you? I love him dearly, in a manly kind of way, of course. But, unfortunately, he can be a complete pain in the arse sometimes, without being aware of it. This has got us into more than one scrape over the years, believe me. But he is loyal to a fault and that’s a quality I value above all others in a business relationship. I’m sure you’ll both agree that if you can't trust the people you work with, then you have nothing.'
'True enough,' said Jack, rapidly becoming aware that he was in the presence of a premier league bull-shitter.
Guy warmed to his theme and said, 'nowadays Henry and I watch each other's backs and, most of the time, we manage to body swerve any trouble that's heading our way. Rather like the two of you, if you don't mind me saying so. I'm aware you've only recently started working together, but Henry tells me that already you have the makings of a great team. You're both very different in terms of age and experience, obviously, but I get the sense of two complementary talents, capable of thinking outside the box. This is exactly why I need you both on board with me here for the next couple of weeks.'
‘It would be really useful to know a bit more about the kind of security concerns you have,’ said Annie.
Guy Brodie sighed then said, 'I won't bore you with all of the details just yet but, suffice to say, there’s a lot going on the moment here at Murieston Properties. I’m afraid it's the nature of the business I'm in. Just when you think you have a big project under control, with all the bases covered in terms of backers and finance, planning permissions obtained and suitable contractors signed up and ready to start work. Then at the very last minute, just as the project’s about to get the green light, you get blindsided. That’s partly what the phone call was about just as you came in. It’s usually about money or, more accurately, the lack of it. But I’m sure it’ll all be sorted out one way or another.’
'That must be really annoying,' said Jack, whose bullshit alarm was now in full silent, vibrate mode. ‘You know, having to re-organise things.’
'Yes, annoying
and
expensive. Of course, sometimes the people who are causing the problems don't actually want a piece of the deal. They usually have nothing constructive to contribute and simply want to extract a suitably large sum of money, in exchange for not delaying the project and completely fucking things up. Please excuse my language guys, but I've got a lot riding on this deal.'
'Not a problem,' said Annie, with a meaningful glance towards her partner. 'I'm used to it.'
'You see, the property game here in the capital is just like any other business. It's extremely competitive and the higher up the food chain you go, the rougher it tends to get. Not in a physical way, of course, because this is Edinburgh after all. Ruthless is probably a better way of describing the current climate, with too many developers chasing too few suitable opportunities. And, inevitably, anyone who achieves a certain level of success must accept that this will lead to bitterness and jealousy in certain quarters.’
'From what you’ve just been saying, would I be right in thinking you've picked up your fair share of enemies in the course of your business career,' said Jack, noting a fleeting exchange of nervous glances between Henry and Guy as he asked the question.
'Yes, that would be fair comment, Jack. I must stress that I've never cheated anyone on a property deal but, for sure, there are a lot of sore losers out there. And they’d like to see me fall flat on my face, if this project was to go down the pan. Anyway, enough of my business worries, for the moment. What do you think of my new house?’
'I like it,' said Annie, with a smile. 'Although it's probably about the same size as the entire tenement block where I live in Glasgow. But what I
really
like is that big red painting hanging downstairs in the entrance lobby. I know it’s unsigned, but surely it's by Andreas Humph, from his post-modern period? I remember seeing it at an exhibition in the Gallery of Modern Art in Glasgow last year, or the year before.'
Guy smiled and said, 'I'm very impressed, Annie. We obviously share a love of modern art. I loaned the picture to a modern masters touring exhibition and it got quite a reaction. It's called
Stormchasers
and it's definitely a statement piece, with exactly the wow factor I wanted. Visitors obviously see it as soon as they come in the front door but, in truth, it doesn't really suit an old house like this. But I love it anyway and when I first saw it, I knew right away that I had to have it. That’s always the way I am with beautiful things I like.’
Just then Guy’s phone rang and he checked the screen before standing up and saying, ‘you’ll have to excuse me folks, I’ve got to take this call. More firefighting to be done on the big deal, I’m afraid.’
Back downstairs at the party, the two partners got fresh drinks from the bar and Jack said, 'by the way, Annie, I didn't know you were interested in modern art. That was very impressive, the way you were chatting away to him, as if you’re a collector yourself.'
Smiling, Annie said, 'my knowledge of painting begins and ends with the Dulux colour chart. Old Russell Crowe told me all about the painting, in between making the big pitch for me to get my kit off and pose for him. I'm not sure if it was professional jealousy, but he thinks that the Humph painting is, and I quote, over-priced vulgar rubbish. Handy if you have a big damp patch to cover up, but otherwise totally lacking in artistic merit, was how he summed it up. So since we’re here at bullshit central, and I was under instruction to lie big, I thought I would slip in another bare-faced lie just to see if Guy bought it.'
'And he did. That's interesting.'
Glancing at his watch, Jack said, 'I'm feeling bushed, Annie, so I think I'll try and catch the next train back to Glasgow. Are you coming, or do you have
other
plans for the rest of the evening?'
'I think if my new life coach, auntie Peg, was here advising me, she would probably tell me the night's still young and I should hang around for a bit longer, neck some more free champagne and see if there’s any action with my new best friend down in the basement. But, to be honest, these heels are absolutely killing me and I can't wait to get home and get them off.'
‘I feel exactly the same way about these trousers. I'm sure I felt something vital rip when I sat down in Guy's office.’ Taking out his phone, Jack said, 'I'll organise a taxi to the station and we can head back to civilisation.'
As they were waiting for their taxi to arrive, Jack said, ‘it’s been an interesting evening one way and another. Quite a change from my normal Saturday night, having a few pints and a game of darts back in the Royal Bar. What do you think of our new client, Mr Brodie? First impressions please, Annie.'
'Hard to say. I mean he's obviously a very smooth operator, I'll definitely give him that. He looks the part of a successful businessman, but he also has a surprisingly friendly, down to earth manner. Although I got the impression that could change in a heartbeat. I mean did you see how he immediately slapped Henry down after he told another one of his awful jokes.'
'Yes, that was impressive and he went up a couple of notches in my estimation at that point. I think it was also significant that Henry kept his head down and hardly said a word afterwards. They may be old friends, Annie, but it's pretty obvious which one's the alpha dog in that particular relationship. And then, when I was asking him if he has many enemies, did you notice Henry suddenly went all twitchy and started looking over his shoulder, as if he was expecting someone to burst into the room swinging a baseball bat. So behind all of the compliments and flattery being directed our way, I think it's safe to say we're not being told the whole story about why they want us on board. That's not necessarily a deal breaker for me, Annie, but I think we definitely need to proceed with caution on this one. Hopefully there won't be any last minute surprises.'
'Yeah, I'm still feeling a bit leery about the whole thing,’ replied Annie. ‘But at least it'll be a change from trying to catch shoplifters stuffing handbags down their knickers.'
On their way out, Jack spoke to one of the waiters standing inside the front door, who was retrieving the coats of departing guests from a side room. 'Do me a favour, mate, will you, and give these keys to the knobhead who owns the white convertible Jag. Tell him I'm getting on a bit and I can't remember where I parked it. But it is locked and I did put the roof up just before the rain came on. I think.’
Next day back in their office in Glasgow, Annie reflected on the events of the previous evening. 'I really enjoyed the party last night, but I haven’t changed my mind. I still don't trust Henry, or his posh boy boss. I might be completely wrong, but I've still got a funny feeling about this Edinburgh job … that we're being played somehow. You know how you said before that we weren't being told the whole story.'
'Yeah, what about it?' said Jack.
'I think you're right. So we should try and discreetly find out what's
really
going on at Murieston Properties.'
'Yes, agreed, but how do we do that? I mean without arousing suspicion?'
'Well we could start by seeing if we can hack into Henry's email account.'
'You could do that?'
'I can try. Obviously we know his email address because that's in the public domain, and for most email accounts the email address is also your ID, or username. So now all we need to do is to try and guess his password and we're in.'
'Yeah, but it could be anything, Annie. It might be a complete jumble of upper case, lower case letters and random numbers or symbols. Where on earth do you start?'
'Yes, you're right it
could
be, but most people don't do it like that, because they can't remember complicated passwords. They usually just choose slight variations on a single familiar word.'
'I'm not so sure about that, Annie. I’ll bet you another fiver you can't guess my password.'
Annie sucked her pen and stared intently at her partner for ten seconds, before announcing confidently, 'I’ve got it … hank.williams, right?'
'Fucking hell, that was incredible.'
'No it wasn't,’ said Annie with a smirk as she held out her hand to accept the proffered note. ‘Actually, because I know you well, it was kind of obvious. But do you see what I'm getting at? People tend to go for the easy option rather than some fancy password they'll never be able to remember. So from the little bit I know about Henry, I don't think his password will be anything too complicated either. Think about it, what's he obsessed about?'
'I don't know … maybe his ex-wife, or telling rubbish jokes?'
'How about Glasgow? Or Weegies?
'Yeah, maybe so, Annie. You’re probably on the right lines there, but how does that help us?'
'Let me think a bit more about this before we jump in,' said Annie, who then spent ten minutes on her MacBook researching email hacks, before announcing, 'okay, on second thoughts, we don't want to spook him. He's maybe way smarter than we think and he could have put enhanced security software in place. By the way, I’ve also just learned that accessing another person's emails without permission is illegal, apparently. So let's not take any chances here, because we don't want this thing coming back to bite us in the bum.' Picking up her phone she said, 'Let me try and get hold of Jamie at work, to see if there's a better way of doing this, because he's the real IT expert.'
'Hi Jamie. It's me, Annie. I'm in the office and I've got Jack here with me, on speakerphone. How are you?'
'I'm good, Annie. Nearly back to full fitness now and the swelling's almost gone from my nose. I'm still getting some twinges from my ribs though, when I cough or laugh, but otherwise I’m A-Okay.'
'Good. If you've got time, Jamie, I need your help with something.'
'If I can, sure. What's the problem?'
'It's to do with work. I want to try and access someone's email without them knowing about it. What’s the best way to go about it?'
'Technically it's pretty straightforward, Annie. There are several ways you can do it, but probably the simplest method is to send the person an email with some kind of attachment, that you know for sure they'll be tempted to open. The attachment is the key element here, Annie, because it contains hidden key-logger software and, once the email is opened, it immediately installs onto their computer. And from that point on, it captures all typed data, including passwords. So the next time the person logs on to their email account, and taps in their password, you're off and running. It works pretty much just like a tape recorder running away in the background on the computer. These key-loggers are actually much more widely used than most people imagine. In fact, I’m told that loads of employers use them, to keep an eye on what their staff are really up to, when they should be working.’
'So, it's not paranoia after all, big brother really is watching you. Very sneaky,' said Annie.
'Yes, and very effective,' continued Jamie, 'because once a key-logger is installed, you can access the person’s email account and see everything they've been doing on the computer, whenever you want. But you have to be careful in case they have beefed-up security firewalls, which can flag up login attempts from unknown locations. Although these can be neutralised as well, so that's not a major problem.'
Jack then butted in to the conversation, 'hi Jamie, it's Jack, I've got a question for you. I think I understand most of what you've just been saying. But surely if the person doesn't recognise either the sender of the email, or the subject matter, they'll just hit the delete button straight away, or bin it as spam.'
'You're absolutely right, Jack, but that's where you and Annie come in. I'm assuming you probably know a fair bit already about this person. So if you focus on their interests or hobbies, you can probably come up with something that he, or she, would find irresistible.'
Annie and Jack looked at each other but, initially, nothing came to mind.
'Look guys, it’s no sweat,’ said Jamie. ‘Just kick it around until you have something and then get back to me when you're ready to rock n' roll, okay?'
'No wait, I think I've got it,' said Jack, smiling broadly. 'Can you create an email address for
rugbybabesontour
and title the email as
The
Best Weegie joke ever?'
'No problem,' said Jamie. 'So after you give me the email address you’re targeting, then I’ll need the wording for the message and the joke.'
‘Okay, make the message,
'Hey there, loser man. We've got a match coming up in Edinburgh next week. If you and your mate want another Jagerbomb challenge, get in touch.'
'Okay I've got that, Jack. Now give me the joke you want to use for the key-logger attachment.'
'Right, here goes …
A Glasgow man is weaving his way unsteadily along Argyle Street just after closing time on a Friday night. He's well gassed, having blown all his wages somewhere between the bookie and the pub, as you do. He stops beside a broken down car, which has the bonnet up and clouds of steam billowing out of the engine. 'Whassup, Jimmy?' he asks the distraught owner, who is sitting on the kerb with his head in his hands. 'Piston broke,' the guy replies. 'Aye, same as me pal. Fuckin bummer, eh?' says the drunk with a shake of his head, before staggering on his way.
'That's not much of a joke, if you don't mind me saying so,' said Jamie.
'It's okay, don't worry about it,' replied Annie. 'The guy we're sending it to isn't much of a comedian.'
'But that is absolute genius, boss', said Annie. 'Henry will think for sure that the email's come from one of those scary big rugby women you had the boozy session with last week.'
'Well I remember he did seem to be getting pretty friendly with a couple of the girls in particular, and I'm sure he also passed out a bunch of his business cards to the rest of the team. So, if I know Henry, he'll think it's one of them who's reaching out and he's maybe got a chance of scrumming down with her. Yeah, I think I can almost guarantee he'll open the email attachment.'
'So can you do that for me to-day, Jamie?' said Annie.
'Yes guys, no probs. I'm still on my lunch break at the moment, so I'll do it right now and get back to you as soon as I've got something.'
'Look, just before you go ahead, are you absolutely sure about this, Jamie? I don't want to get you into any trouble,' said Annie.
'Look it's absolutely no sweat, especially after all you’ve both done for me in the last couple of weeks. I'll set it up at an internet café and we can both create new email accounts to communicate about the hack. Obviously you don’t want to use your regular office email address or any of your office computers. If I do it that way, then there's no direct electronic trail leading back to you. Assuming anybody ever bothered to look. Don't worry, Annie, it's totally cool.’
'Okay then, you're a star, Jamie. Speak to you soon … bye.'
'Yeah, thanks for that buddy,' added Jack as the call ended.
Annie then turned to Jack and said, 'hopefully now we'll be able to find out what's
really
going on at Murieston Property.’