Breaking (3 page)

“Does it look
like I’m sunburned?”

“No. It just
seems like something might be wrong.”

He had to tell
her something. If he didn’t, she’d work herself into a worried tangle. So he
admitted as much of the truth as he possibly could. “I just sometimes get
reminded of…of my past. But it’s really no big deal. I’ll be just fine as soon
as I can get back to a normal schedule.”

This
explanation seemed to relieve her. She turned him around in her arms and hugged
him tightly. He returned the hug, trying to take comfort in it without letting
it batter down his defenses.

He couldn’t
quite manage it.

She’d been a
virgin when she came to him. He’d had no idea that she would completely
transform his existence.

He was happy
now. He had everything he needed. He could forget about everything else—all
that had hurt him over so many years of his life.

None of it
mattered now. None of it should have power over him anymore.

He was in
control of his life, and so he could keep control of himself.

He might still
be on the edge of breaking, but he could keep that from happening.

Lori deserved
him whole.

The next morning, Ander woke up
to discover that Lori had been watching him sleep.

He turned his
head and saw that her face was turned toward him too. Her eyes were open,
resting on his face.

He smiled at
her, not even fully awake.

“Hi,” she said,
her face transforming with an answering grin.

No one smiled
like Lori. Like something warmed glowed inside her that escaped with the curve
of her lips.

“Hi,” he said,
his chest constricting slightly. “Do you feel okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I
feel okay?”

“After last
night, I mean. I was kind of rough.”

She actually
laughed, reaching over so she could stroke his chest. “I had a pretty good time
last night.”

“Good.”

He’d known
she’d come. Obviously. More than once. But he also knew far too well that an
orgasm was only superficial, couldn’t begin to embody a person’s real self.

He’d usually
climaxed with his clients, back when he was an escort, but—other than Lori—it
was never more than a physical response. It was never really
him
.

“Although I
wouldn’t count on getting lucky this morning. I’m a little sore.” Her mouth was
still brimming with that smile.

“Understood.”

“Do
you
feel okay?”

“Why wouldn’t
I?” he asked, using the same response she’d used earlier to stall as he figured
out a way to handle the questioning.

He didn’t like
to lie to her. He almost never did. But he also couldn’t tell her the whole
truth—not if he was going to be the man she believed him to be.

“Well, you
aren’t usually as…as intense as you were last night. And you look really tired
this morning.”

“I
am
tired,” he admitted, speaking nothing but the truth.

She perked up,
as if his confession had given her a way to help him. “You should take it easy
today. I’m supposed to go to this conference, but I’ll just skip the sessions
today. That way, we can hang out all day.”

He shook his
head. In some ways, it sounded incredibly tempting, but he couldn’t lower his
defenses that far. “I’m supposed to take over a Sociocultural Anthropology class
for Hanover mid-semester. I’ve got to meet with her this morning. She wants me
to start next week.”

Lori made an
indignant noise. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

 “I just found
out myself. She’s got to have some sort of surgery. I set up the appointment
from the airport yesterday.”

  “Well, that’s
nice she asked you to do it. You better not be planning to work all weekend,
though.”

“I won’t work
all weekend,” he promised. He leaned over to kiss her just beside the mouth.
“Now, I better get up, or I never will.”

He heaved
himself out of bed, his muscles aching from the long flight and such vigorous
sex. When he glanced back, he saw Lori’s eyes crawling up and down his body.

“What?” he
asked, genuinely confused. He glanced down and verified that his chest and abs
looked normal. When he’d been on the job, he’d worked out for a couple of hours
every day—crafting his body like a work of art. But now he only worked out a
few times a week. He still looked decent enough, though, and he hadn’t even
woken up with a hard-on.

“Just
appreciating the view. It’s been six weeks. I almost forgot how hot you are.”

He laughed
until the tenderness in her eyes started to undo his shaky control. Then he
went to take a shower.

Lori was up and
drinking coffee when he emerged, fully dressed. They’d talked every day while
he was out of town, but she still wanted a final report on his research, now
that the trip was over. They chatted about it for a few minutes until she
glanced at the clock.

“Shit, I better
get dressed, or I’ll be late for the first session.”

Ander unpacked
while she was in the shower. Then he pulled out his old leather case and was half-heartedly
reorganizing the cluttered contents as Lori dried her hair.

He was ready to
leave before she’d finished, so he stuck his head into the bathroom to say
goodbye.

She wore
nothing but emerald green underwear and bra, and she had the hairdryer on high,
both of her arms raised as she attempted to smooth the waves out of her hair. His
cock twitched in interest at the sight of her gorgeous, curvy body displayed so
unselfconsciously.

She flipped off
the hairdryer when she saw him.

“You taking off
already?”

 “Yeah. I’m
supposed to meet Hanover in less than an hour.”

She walked into
the bedroom with him and picked up a top she’d laid out on the dresser. It was
black and made of fabric that looked like satin—obviously new but made to look
vintage. She started working on the row of tiny buttons. “When will you be
home? I don’t have to stay at this conference all day.”

“I’ll call
around lunchtime and let you know.” He was briefly distracted by the sight of
the dark, slippery fabric sliding against her skin and clinging to her breasts.
“Is that new?”

“The shirt? Or
the bra and panties?”

“Either one.”

She gave him a
guilty little smile that was absolutely irresistible. “They both are.”

He chuckled.
“Do you a little shopping while I was gone?”

“I did a lot of
shopping. But I got part of the advance on my next book so I thought I deserved
to reward myself.”

 He stepped
closer, warmed by the fond amusement on her face. He slid his hands around her
waist and eased her closer. “Of course, you deserve to reward yourself.”

She flattened
her hands against his chest. “I did some shopping for you too.”

“What did you
get me?”

 “I got you a
tweed jacket. It looks very academic.”

He chuckled,
leaning closer until he was speaking just over her lips. “You think I don’t
look academic enough?”

“No. You don’t
look anything like an academic. But this jacket will help. It has patches on
the elbows and everything.”

He could tell
she was teasing, although he wouldn’t put it past her to actually buy him such
an item. “Did you get me a pipe too?”

She burst into
rippling laughter and twined her arms around his neck. “No! What a good idea.
I’ll get you one this week. Then you could wear your academic outfit during the
semesters and wear your Indiana Jones fedora when you go out on digs. You’ll be
all set.”

She had bought
him the fedora when he’d won the research grant for his dissertation. He hadn’t
worn it. Not once.

Lori seemed to
have processed this reality at the same time it crossed his mind. She ran for
the closet, still wearing nothing but her little top and underwear. His body
responded even more to her state of half-dress.

She emerged
with the hat.

“Wear it
today,” she said, coming over with the fedora extended. She was still brimming
with amusement. “Just to prove that you love me.”

He was laughing
too, unable to resist her mood, but he made sure to keep the hat from getting
anywhere close to his head. “I love you beyond the scope of existence, but I am
not going to wear that hat.”

She struggled
with him playfully until he managed to wrest the fedora from her hand and toss
it across the room. She shrieked in feigned indignation and then shrieked again
when he swung her up and onto the bed.

Before she
could get up and run for the hat, he pinned her in place with his body.

“Now,” he said,
his cock hardening all the way at the sight and feel of her stretched out
beneath him, “there will be no more talk of my wearing that hat.”

She wriggled in
a half-hearted effort to get away. Her eyes grew soft and hot, though, and her
motion beneath him only intensified his desire. “There will be talk of it as
long as I
want
to talk about it.”

“But do you
really want to keep talking about it?” His voice had grown husky, responding to
the state of his body. He undid one tiny button on her top.

“Didn’t I say
you shouldn’t hope to get lucky this morning?” Despite her words, her cheeks
had flushed, and she pressed up toward his hands just slightly.

“But that
doesn’t mean
you
can’t get lucky.” Very slowly, he made his way down,
undoing the rest of her buttons.

She watched
him, almost mesmerized. “Do you have time?”

“I have time.”

Her breath
quickened, and she reached up to trace the contour of his head with soft
fingers. Despite his concentration on the endless tiny buttons, he couldn’t
help but moan at the irresistible sensations from her fingertips on his scalp.

If she kept
that up, he wouldn’t be able to hold back, so he gently took her wrists and
stretched her arms spread-eagle. “
You’re
getting lucky, remember?”

Her body was
obviously reacting, but she still smothered a giggle. “Right. I remember. I’ll
try to be a good girl.”

He felt his lip
twitch slightly, despite his attempt to repress an answering laugh. “You better
be.”

When he finally
finished with the buttons, he drew open her top. She was trembling when he
lowered his mouth to her neck, but she managed to lie mostly still.

He trailed his
mouth lower, and she gasped when he reached her right breast and gently mouthed
it over the satin of her bra. The nipple peaked for him immediately, and he
teased it with his tongue until she fisted the bedcovers with both hands.

He fondled her
left breast with his hand as he tended to the other with his mouth. It wasn’t
long before she was shifting her hips and stifling little moans.

He lifted his
head to look down on her, his chest and his groin pulsing with feeling.

There was
something about her responsiveness to him that he couldn’t get enough of.

She lay in a
debauched sprawl beneath him. She still wore her top and underwear set, and her
dark hair was spread out around her flushed face, kinking slightly because she
hadn’t dried it all the way. Her green eyes—normally so lively and clever—were
half-closed and glazed over with growing arousal.

His cock gave a
throb of need at the sight.

He wanted to
please her, though—far more than he wanted to please himself. So he took his
time, and his touch was unhurried as brought his other hand up and fondled both
of her nipples simultaneously.

Lori arched up
into his hands, her mouth falling open and her eyes falling shut.

Ander felt a
surge of desire as he watched her so overcome by his touch. He slid one hand
down to her belly and stroked it gently, resisting to the impulse to dip into
her panties and see if her pussy was wet.

“God, Ander!” Her
hips squirmed as he continued to play with her tight nipples. “Feels so good.
Are you sure this is okay?”

He knew what
she was asking. She was worried about him—since she’d told him they couldn’t
have intercourse. “I promise,” he murmured, “this is for you. I want to do this
for you.” He cupped both of her breasts again, squeezing gently as she pressed
up eagerly into his hands.

His erection
was uncomfortably confined in his trousers, but he ignored it as he slid his
hands down to Lori’s thighs, stroking the soft flesh there.

A visceral
satisfaction pulsed through him when she whimpered helplessly as his hands got
closer to her arousal.

“You’re so
beautiful.”  His voice was now embarrassingly thick. “So beautiful. I love to
see you like this.”

Back when he
was seeing clients, he’d been good at dialogue in bed—coming up with endless,
creative dirty talk or sweet, romantic murmurings, depending on the woman’s
taste. All of that had been fake, though. What he really felt when he made love
to Lori couldn’t possibly be shaped with words.

She was
panting, her chest rising and falling quickly, her nipples poking out
shamelessly through the thin fabric of her bra. “Love you. Love this.”

Ander had to
stifle a groan at the way her words made him feel. He slid down her little
panties and parted her thighs, flooded with feeling as he saw how wet she was.

He stroked her
with one finger, causing her to choke on a sound in response. He teased until she
couldn’t hold her pelvis still and she made wordless, pleading sounds. Then he
sank two fingers into her pussy.

Lori cried out
in pleasure, her back lifting up off the bed. She clutched at the bedding
desperately and bit down hard on her bottom lip as he began to fuck her
rhythmically with his fingers, curling them up against her g-spot.

“How’s that?”
he asked. His own arousal pulsed distractingly, but he kept telling himself to
ignore it.