Break Free & Be Broken (16 page)

She finishes cleaning and bandaging my hand, then passes me a bottle of water. "Drink up!" She chimes. I hold my freshly bandaged hand up and admire it with pride. This is something she gave me. I'll never take it off. I check the rest of my arm for injuries she can repair... woe is me, there are none.

"Will you be all right hanging out here for a minute? There are a few things Sage and I need to take care of upstairs. I know that you're feeling better, but you did experience a good amount of shock, so you should really take a minute to rest up and re-grasp your bearings. And seriously: drink that."

Whatever you say, I shall do, my dear. That is what I want to say, but the choppy freak of a word "Yeakay," comes out instead. She grins at me, then her and Sage leave the room.

The second they are gone, I fall back on the floor, clutching my heart. Love has finally found you again, my boy! And in the most glorious form imaginable. Good god! Things in this world are not meant to be so divine! Love of this magnitude isn't supposed to exist!

The part of my mind that grasps to reason tries to shout at me with a quiet voice. 'This is just an emotional rebound to the traumatic night you've been having! Love of this magnitude
doesn't
exist! You are fooling yourself because she came in and rescued you at such a perilous moment!'

'Shut your vile fucking mouth,' is what I say in return, 'and never attempt to speak again if it is to defile the purity of this love.'

There is only one piece of reason left to me in this world, only one thing that I care about: as long as I can love that girl, nothing will ever be black or ugly again. I finally see where it is I went so wrong. I gave up on finding someone to cherish: someone to love. And it wasn't for lack of trying, I simply hadn't found an equal... nay, a better: someone I could aspire to reach, someone who gave me reason to improve and grow!

Now, I feel a godly new sense of power and life surging through me. For this girl, I can do
any
thing, be
any
one, conquer
any
obstacle! For her, I could climb a rope of cloud to the moon, demolish it with a single blow, and cast the broken pieces toward the earth, just so she could see a shooting star! I could take on the role of the mighty Atlas, place the weight of the entire world on my shoulders, and still find the strength to run with her in the mountains, laugh with her in the meadows, and dance with her in the sand.

My god...

My good god damn...

I will be hers forever, whether she will have me or not. My life is no longer my own. And never, not once, have I ever felt better.

Chapter the Tenth

It isn't too long before the girl and Sage return, but longer than I would have liked. It occurred to me during their absence that wherever they are going next, they may not have a need for me, so I spent the bulk of the time they were gone pacing the room like an anxious puppy, scheming about how to not be left behind on their next adventure. Both Sage and the girl look pleased to see me up and about when they enter the room.

"Someone's back to life." Sage observes.

I nod my head vigorously, using body language to show I am no longer fazed by the events of the night and am eager to keep going. "I am. Truth is, I've never felt better." And it is the truth.

"I'm really glad to hear that! Well, cause here's the thing... Do you have plans for the rest of the night?" The girl asks.

"Plans? No. Nothing. How come?" I shiver with anticipation at what such a question entails.

"I was kind of hoping you'd be willing to help me out with something. Nothing crazy, nothing at all like this; I just need you to talk to someone for me. I'll pay you for your time and trouble, of course."

"I'd be happy to!" Despite my attempt to play it cool, there is no hiding the eagerness in my voice... oh well. "And don't even think about paying! You guys are my friends, and I don't take payment to help a friend."

"You will? Thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to me!" A smile spreads across her face and she wraps me up in a big, tight hug. Every point of my body that makes contact with hers screams with ecstasy, and when she releases me, I am left calm and refreshed. Who knew that staying with them would be as simple as saying yes?

"So who do I need to talk to and what do I need to say?" I ask, ready for anything.

"You're just asking someone where someone else is. I'll explain the details on the way. You got everything you need from in here? You ready to go?" She asks.

"Yeah I'm ready, let's do this!"

Sage takes the lead out the door, followed by the girl, followed by me. When we get upstairs, it's hard not to notice the dead bodies scattered in the living room, even with the girl’s impeccable ass up ahead to distract me. My eyes keep going to the bodies with a morbid fascination-not because I am interested in seeing the gore and death-but because I know it's the girl who created it. Each body has a visible knife wound in either the head or neck. Clean cuts, through and through.

"Where'd you park?" Sage asks the girl when we leave the house. She tilts her head up the street, and we start moving that direction.

"Hey wait." I say to Sage, "What about all the guns and stuff?"

He shrugs. "I brought those just in case. We don't need them anymore."

"Oh, all right."

I scamper up behind the two, trying to make sense of how I'm feeling. I'm being stretched back and forth by conflicting emotion. I'm scared and excited, anxious and content, but most of all... I'm stoked. I have no idea what it is we are doing or why, but it feels important. At the very least, I’m now a part of something that is bigger than me. There's certainly an underlying darkness to all of this-I see it as clearly as the blood in which I am soaked-but somehow, it still feels noble. And I'm a part of it! That's the only token I need to proceed, and being close to the girl is my reward.

Sage opens the trunk when we reach the car and tosses the money bag inside. Before he closes it, I get a peek at the contents. It was a quick peek, but I'm pretty sure I saw guns. Big guns. Automatic, war bringing guns.

It excites me.

The girl tosses Sage the keys, so I rush to the passenger door, open it with head bowed, and extend a hand in its direction, inviting her inside. The grin she gives me is, of course, beautiful, but it's automatic rather than genuine, and I can tell from her eyes that she is more confused by my chivalrous act than charmed. Committed, I remain in place until she gets in so I can close the door for her. Not understanding my action, her hand comes out so she can close the door herself and I almost slam the door on it. I stop flat. She pulls her hand back and I release the door. Realizing she is now expecting me to close it, I jump back to the task just as she reaches for it again, apparently thinking I'd given up. We both stop again. Now irredeemably embarrassed, I mutter some weird nothings and step away from the door, allowing her to just close it herself. I'm sure my face is red enough to be mistaken for a brake light. I bashfully climb in the back.

"Thanks for getting my door." She says.

Ah, so sweet, yet I almost wish she would have just let it pass. Calling attention to it is only prolonging my chagrin, but the kindness is unmistakable, so I mumble a, "Don't mention it," with as much fabricated chipperness as I can manage.

Sage climbs in and, without further ado, gets us on our way. "Tink said that Quinton was at a place called Vivasio's. Does that match your information?" He asks the girl.

"Yep. And I checked the place out. It's a strip club, maybe ten minutes from here. Tink was the owner." She replies.

"Great.
"
Sage smiles and performs a little drum solo with his hands on the steering wheel. "I can't believe how close we are to finishing this. It almost doesn't seem real."

"Don't get ahead of yourself. We've still got a few steps to go, and it's the last ones that are really going to stretch our legs. We've gotten closer than this and come away with nothing. Your excitement is premature."

Sage shakes his head and continues drumming away. "Feels different this time. Feels right. It ends tonight. I know it."

The girl, overcome by Sage's glee, relents to smile and places a hand on his shoulder. Her warmth toward Sage gives me an undue but very real pang of jealousy. I long to have that hand on me. No longer content being left out of the conversation, I decide to demand some attention for myself.

"Hey, so what exactly is my part in this?" I ask, choosing words to remind them that I, too, am involved in whatever private thing they are discussing.

"Oh, very simple. We just need you to deliver the money to a guy named Quinton in exchange for the whereabouts of a man called El Sanchez." The girl says.

"That's it?" Sounds easy enough.

"Yeah that's it."

"Okay... well who is he?" I ask.

"Quinton? He's nobody, but a nobody who knows where to find the somebody we're looking for."

"I meant who's El Sanchez."

The girl glances over at Sage, who quickly takes over. "Just a guy who needs to be dead."

I consider asking why, but I suppose it doesn't matter. Better to stick with questions relevant to my part in this.

"Why do you guys need me to do it? Does Quinton not like you or something?"

"Eh, I wouldn't go so far as to say he doesn't like us, but we definitely aren't friends. We could maybe get the information ourselves; you just have a much better chance."

"Why's that? As I'm sure you must know, I'm not exactly friends with the guy either. To him I'll just be a random stranger."

Sage laughs. The girl looks a bit uncomfortable.

"That's exactly the point. Normally, he would never see or talk to you, just like Tink would normally have never seen or talked to me, so just like before, we are creating a situation that isn't normal. When you, a 'random stranger', go pounding in there with a quarter million dollars demanding to see a specter of a man that very few people even know exist, he's gunna have a massive input overload. It will be hard for him to think straight, let alone refuse."

"It's really going to be that easy?"

"It should be. It worked with Tink, didn't it? A good plan is a good plan, and this one is tried and true."

"All right then." I settle back into my chair. It really doesn't sound that hard: walk in, give the money, get the info, leave. What could go wrong?

Hm. A lot of things, probably.

"What if he just takes the money and throws me out? Or what if he lies? How will I know if he's telling the truth?"

Sage sighs. "Just do your best man. Anything you can get is likely more than we could, and if he just takes the money then that's that. It's nothing to get killed over. If he makes that move, let it be. Really though, I don't think you will have any problems. Don't worry about it."

"Okay. Sorry. I'm just kind of nervous."

"You don't need to be sorry. I really appreciate you doing this." The girl chimes in.

I instantly feel better. I gotta remember-I'm doing this for her-and for her, I can do anything. That should be the only thought in my head, but it isn't. My head is awhirl with ponderings.

"You guys really think I can pull this off?" I ask, fishing for some more kind words.

"It won't be nearly the task you think. It's gunna be easy." The girl says. There's a strange quality to her voice... almost like she’s haunted.

I let my head rest against the window, satisfied if not a little confused. For reasons I can't fathom, the silence that overtakes the car carries the distinct aroma of awkwardness. Something in the back of my head is whispering that this is the kind of silence a farmer experiences with a family hog being taken to slaughter, but since I'm much more stallion than hog, I pay the warning little thought.

In short order, we arrive at what is sure to be the most happening place in town. For a Thursday night, it’s surprisingly packed. I'd only seen a handful of cars during the course of the drive, and now I know why. They are all here. The parking lot and surrounding street are full of them.

A large, neon purple sign reading "Vivasio's," sits atop a plain brick building. The line to get in extends halfway down the sidewalk. My first reaction to the sight is that it's odd... the night has been so wild I'd almost forgotten about normal life. I don't think I can ever go back...

I don't think I want to.

A particular group of people catch my eye. Two men are crowded around a lone woman-not
quite
as predatory as it sounds-for it is nothing more than a casual attempt at seduction. The better looking of the two males is laughing and swiping at his hair, trying to use his looks and what he must consider charm to win the ladies favor, while the other, frumpier man, fiddles with his shiny watch and readjusts his designer clothes, trying to buy his way into the woman's bed. The woman is judging both with rapacious eyes, no doubt trying to figure out which one will better suit her purposes: which one she can better control. By the lust filled expression on the guys faces and the way their crotches sway in and out of the woman's space, it's clear they are thinking only of sex.

If I were in a generous mood, I'd say they were only following their underdeveloped concept of what it means to be happy; but I'm not feeling generous, so I see them for what they are: stupid, depraved monkeys being controlled by desires they have never thought out and don't understand.

Lord, smite me now if ever in my life I have appeared so base.

The sight’s repugnant so I look away, returning my thoughts to the task at hand. "Damn, it's poppin. Do you think I'll even be able to get in?" I ask.

Sage snorts. "Oh, Chales, so much for you to learn! The thought should never even occur to you whether or not you'll be able to get in. It certainly wouldn't to me. If I want in, I find a way in. The question is not succeed or fail, but only which way it is that you will succeed. This line is actually a good thing. It will give you a chance to get into the right frame of mind before you enter. Let me park and I'll tell you exactly what you need to do to pull this off."

He pulls over a ways up the street, then turns to face me. "Okay, so to address your initial question: yes, I absolutely think they will let you in. I think they will let you in the moment you arrive at the door. It's all about projection, brother. Visualization and projection. You need to get in the mindset that you own this place. You are above the people on the street, you are above the bouncers-hell, you are even above Quinton, the friend of the goddamn owner!"

"How do I get in that kind of mindset?"

"Chales-and I'm not just saying this to help you in the moment-but you should already have that mindset. I've only spent a few hours with you, but I've
known
since you threw that first punch that you're a special breed. You're intelligent, you're dependable, and just look at you! You're a beast, man! How many people on this earth do you think can dedicate themselves to something to the extent that you have? Who does what you do? Only the elites, that's who. And think of all you've been through tonight, yet you haven't given up, you haven't stopped; you've only gotten better as the nights gone on. You're pushing through an alien world as if the events you're handling are completely normal and you're thriving.

"Beyond that, you are marching up there with a quarter million dollars held in your hands. Other than Quinton, I can guarantee no one else has even seen that kind of money, let alone possessed it. And do you know how I know that? Because they are bouncing at a strip club or standing in line to get in. Why should any of these underlings stop you? We are talking about grown men who work as bouncers, for god sakes. They were born with a big body and found a way to get paid for it-the path of least resistance if ever there was one. Do not let them stop you. If worst comes to worst, pull out a wad of that money and buy your way through the door. There is a means to every end, and most the time, there are many. Find the one that works and use it. Got it?"