Bound (18 page)

She chose to go to the Messengers' Guild Hall in the Quarter of Coins for a number of reasons. The quarter was so busy during the day that she was certain she could evade the others once they realized she wasn't in the manor. Also, she would have something to do while she waited for the answer. She walked in and was greeted enthusiastically when she introduced herself. She asked for parchment and ink, then went to a table and wrote out her message.

Father,

By now you have already learned that I am returned to Rianza. I need to see you. There are things you must explain to me before I can decide on a course for my future. I will not be ruled by your choices, as I have told you before, but consideration and recent events have made me decide that we must clear the air if we are to ever know each other again. Tonight, in the hour after sunset, I will meet you at mother's side. Come alone or there will be no discussion on any subject.

Faylanna

She sealed the letter with a dark green wax, the color of House Derrion. Giving the message to the clerk, she explained that it was an important letter that needed to be delivered immediately. She let him know where to find her with the reply, paid him and left.

As she walked out of the Hall, she heard someone clear his throat loudly from the fountain beside the door. Turning, she saw Tavis sitting on the edge of the basin, looking at her. She froze where she was, trying to bury any feelings of guilt for sneaking away. "You can't convince me not to do this. The message is sent. He'll be there, whether he answers or not. I have to do this."

He looked up at her, his face serious. He nodded and said, "I can see that, but I want you to explain to me why. You've already had a close call with him once. And the risk of doing this without even telling us you were going, or where you're meeting him- Have you thought of what might happen if he tries to take you by force?"

Fay opened her mouth to retort that she was more than a match for her father or anyone else, but then thought better. Instead, she said, "Come with me. I don't want to have this conversation in a public square. Besides, I told them I'd be at the Velvet Voice, and I really should go straight there."

He stood up and followed after her as she threaded through the crowded square toward the building that was on the opposite corner from the Messengers' Hall. "The Velvet Voice?"

She laughed and pointed ahead of her. "That's it. It's a tavern, but it's famous in the city for the singing that goes on in the evenings. The best singers perform there, better even than you find in Fioselto. Being invited to perform at the Velvet Voice is considered a sign of a great career to come. I've seen singers come from all over the Empire for a chance to sing there." She led him to the patio that was set up against the side of the building and sat down at a table near the edge. Tavis followed suit with a raised eyebrow. She smiled. "It's too nice to sit inside, and I suspect that crowded places can be a good way to keep from being overheard. And since you're here, I guess I don't have to hide after all."

An older woman she recognized but couldn't name came over and greeted her, "Faylanna! How wonderful to see you again. Where have you been all this time? Don't tell me you abandoned us for another tavern. I'll cry."

Fay laughed. "No, I went to Voleno, to finish my studies at the academy there. It wasn't possible to come back every week to see who the latest voices were. I was desolate."

The barmaid took their order of tea and tried to coax them into something to eat, but Fay was too nervous for food and Tavis wasn't interested. He was still staring at Fay, expectant and considering at the same time.

Once the woman left, Fay looked into his eyes, tried to control the way they made her heart race and then looked down at her hands when she failed. "It's not that I haven't considered it. I just don't think he can. I know his abilities, Tavis, and I'm more than a match for him, whatever Lydia might have seen. He's never been popular among other Magicia, and I doubt his newfound talents have changed that. Most of us hate being manipulated by anyone, so I'm fairly certain he won't have competent help. Also, I told him to come alone or I won't talk to him. He wants something from me, I know it, and I'm sure he'll do as I ask if he thinks it might open the way to whatever that is."

Tavis' frown deepened. "You've told me why you think it's safe. That's not what I wanted to know, Fay. Why are you doing this? Why did you run off to do it? Why are you so set on this?"

Her eyes flashed up to his and the response burst from her lips before she had even decided if she would answer his question. "Because I have to stop him."

He nodded, as if it was what he had expected. "But why you? Eliar, Ki, my mother, they're all committed to stopping him, and they each have their reasons, I suppose. I want to know yours."

This time she didn't answer right away. Instead, she tried to sort through her ever-complicated feelings and thoughts about her father to explain it to Tavis. It felt important that he understand. "When he came to my graduation, my father asked me to come home with him. He's never asked me to do anything until now. Always before, he's either issued demands or set what he wanted in motion without bothering to let me know until it was too late to even argue. This time, it was different. I didn't really consider that until yesterday, but I think-" She drew a deep breath and forced herself to continue. "I think that whatever he's done, whatever deal he's made, in a way it was for me. I don't like it, the way he's trying to take my right to choose away from me. I wish he would accept me for who I am, and the choices I make. I wish he would stop trying to use me as a bargaining chip. But I guess none of that is the point, not to anyone but me. He's wrong, and he has to be stopped. That's the point. And I'm his daughter, so it's my responsibility to stop him. Besides, who else would he tell any of this to, if not me?"

Before Tavis could respond, a rotund man came out to the patio with a tray containing two cups. He made straight for their table and, after setting the tray down, enveloped Fay in a fierce hug, expounding on how happy he was that his Faylanna had come back at last. When Dolar finally let go of her, she saw Tavis watching her again with that same considering expression. She had to promise to come back another day to see Dolar before he would go away.

"What are you thinking, Tavis?"

He smiled and tilted his head to the side, causing his emerald eyes to sparkle in the sun. "I'm wondering why everyone except me calls you Faylanna. I haven't seen anyone call you just Fay, but that was how you introduced yourself to me. Why?"

Her answering smile was a shade uncertain. She knew he had no idea what he was really asking, and she thought she could get away with less than the painful truth about it, but decided she didn't want to lie to him, or even leave things out. Again, there was that feeling of wanting him to understand. And she realized it wasn't any more painful than the things she had already told him.

"I stopped using my full name when I was sent to Voleno. I didn't understand then why I was being transferred, and it felt like I was being sent away as punishment for something. Perhaps for being a bit arrogant about my magical abilities. I still think there are parts of the story I'm missing, but even so, I understand better now." She paused and considered. "But the experience changed how I viewed myself, and how I wanted to be viewed. Faylanna Derrion was the child of a noble with delusions of grandeur he tried to inculcate in her from early on. I didn't want to be that person, so I insisted on being called Fay when I went to Voleno. I also stopped using my title, and my surname where I could avoid it, for the same reason. I still hate when people use either."

Tavis gave a soft laugh and she looked up at him, feeling a spike of anger shoot through her at the sound. The look on his face, bemused and sympathetic, undid her rage though. "Well, you've succeeded in your quest to be like other people. I didn't realize when we met that I was speaking with a high-born lady, and until you mentioned it just now, I forgot that you had a title, though I've heard a couple of people use it."

She smiled at that and they moved on to other subjects. They chatted amiably about the city, with him asking questions and her answering for a while. The hours passed more quickly than she could have imagined. They eventually ordered lunch and their conversation stretched on. It was almost mid-afternoon when a messenger stopped by the patio and handed over a folded, sealed parchment before crossing the square to the Hall. The seal was green and bore the impression of their family device, the stag and scythe from her father's ring.

She broke the seal, quickly opened it and read the contents. Sighing with relief, she looked up at Tavis. "He's agreed to the meeting tonight, and the location. He's also agreed to come alone."

He frowned down at his hands and nodded. "Were you going to go back to the manor to tell us, if I hadn't found you?"

"No, and I'm not going there now. The others won't care that the meeting is set, and I don't think they'll understand that I'm going there no matter what. They'll try to stop me, and I don't want to fight with any of them." She looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "Do you understand?"

Tavis sighed regretfully. "That you feel you have to do this? Yes, I do. And I'm just smart enough to realize I don't have a hope of stopping you. I guess you won't let me come with you either, will you?"

She shook her head. "Go back and tell them you couldn't find me."

He laughed. "I'm a terrible liar."

"Then don't go back yet. Please. It's only a couple of hours until sunset, and the meeting is shortly after that. I have to do this, Tavis, and it's hard enough without having to fight with the others about it. Please, you can't tell them about it beforehand."

Tavis stared at her for a long while and then nodded. "All right, we'll do it your way. I just hope my mother will forgive me for this." They both rose and he smiled, then said, "You look lovely today, Faylanna. I didn't get a chance to say so earlier, with everything that's been going on, and then we were busy talking, but you really do."

She was surprised at his use of her full name, trying to figure out what it might mean. She grinned at the compliment though and replied, "Thank you. Soval sent it to me. It's a wonderful gift. How he managed to fit it for me exactly without measurements, I don't know. The man is a genius with fabric."

Tavis laughed and said, "Yes, he is, but I asked him to send you the dress. I saw it on one of his mannequins downstairs when we entered the shop. It looked perfect for you."

She was rendered entirely speechless by this revelation and could only trail after Tavis with her eyes wide in shock as they left the Velvet Voice. She had no idea what to make of him, or her own feelings for him. Every time she thought she had him figured out, she learned something new that challenged what she thought. She was surprised to find she was enjoying that even more than how handsome he was.

Fay slipped her hand tentatively into his as they went down the street. They walked around the quarter, each lost in their own thoughts this time. After a while, Tavis spoke.

"Where's the meeting?" She looked at him suspiciously and he quickly said, "I thought I might at least wait somewhere nearby, maybe a couple of streets over. I just... I can't let you go entirely alone. Let me be close enough that I'll hear if you call for help. Please?"

"You won't be able to be that close. It's in another of those large public gardens I told you about, the Gardensia Memoria. The part I'm meeting him in is almost as far from the gate as you can get, and you wouldn't be able to find your way around there well enough to get to me if I called. But I- well, thank you for wanting to be there." They continued walking together, lapsing back into silence until almost sunset, when she let him escort her to the Gardensia's ornate, golden gate. He hesitated when they arrived, opening his mouth to speak, but she slipped inside without giving him the chance.

Though this Gardensia was more sober and mournful than the others in the city, it had an elegance that she had always loved. The simple lines of hedges, squares surrounded by statues and filled with benches and large trees spreading their limbs over it all had always soothed her. She had come here regularly to visit her mother during her years at the Rianza Academy and had missed that when she was in Voleno. Making her way quickly along the familiar paths, she arrived at her mother's memoria and found it deserted.

The statue hadn't changed in the years since she had last seen it. Memoria were made with magic laid into the stone as it was carved to protect it from any sort of damage. Though the square Pella Derrion occupied was small, it was set aside for her alone. This memoria was the only sign Fay had ever seen of her father's love for his wife and partner. The statue was a life-sized replica of the woman who had brought her into the world and taught her of music and dancing. It was a great sign of respect and love from those who had known her in life, as well as a demonstration of their family's wealth. Memoria came in many sizes, reflecting a complex blending of those two facets of life.

Sitting on the wide bench in front of the dancing statue whose hands were held out in front of her to clasp a large candle, she cast a flame to the wick, that the light might bring the illusion of life and warmth to the statue. "I'm sorry it's been so long, Mother. I missed you. I've been away for too long."

She had always felt self-conscious about speaking aloud to the statue, and yet it always felt right when she did so, as if her mother was really watching her from beyond the Veil of Airs and listening. But she found that she couldn't concentrate on her mother this night. Instead, her thoughts kept returning to Marcius and Tavis. She couldn't seem to sort out her feelings for either of them nor figure out how to make those feelings serve her desire for other things. "Mother, I don't know what to do, what to think. I want so much more, but what if I'm wrong? What if I do need a partner to accomplish anything of note?"