"But I'm over it," Colleen said quickly, and they broke into their chatter and laughter again. By the time they left, Colleen was grateful for the peaceful moments. Only minutes after she was served her dinner, Teddy arrived. As promised, he had come directly after practice.
They kissed, and he immediately asked about the cross.
"Audra was here," she said.
"Oh, that explains it."
"I couldn't turn her down, especially since her mother and she came right over after school. And," she said, holding it out and looking at it, "I'm not so sure it won't bring me good luck now."
"So what's wrong with you? You look great," he said.
She pushed the tray of food aside. The thin slices of turkey looked unappetizing, and the potatoes pasty. She had only nibbled on the vegetables.
She proceeded to tell Teddy everything, beginning with the first time she had seen the baby and had thought she had seen the drop of blood between his lips. He listened attentively, his eyes growing larger and his mouth opening more and more as she went on. When she described what she thought she had seen in the shed, he was positively aghast. Then she told him about Harlan and the detective and what they had learned, and the horrified expression left his face.
"So you imagined it all?"
"Something like that. I'm seeing a psychologist in the morning, and then hopefully Harlan will pick me up and take me to the game."
"I'm glad of that. Without you in the stands I wouldn't be worth a damn."
"Sure," she said, even though she saw by the warm longing in his deep black eyes that he was sincere. For some reason such a demonstration of affection made her nervous. Perhaps it was part of her condition, she thought. Her emotions were fragile. Everything frightened her. Despite her wish to ignore it all, she had to admit to herself that something wasn't right. The vivid recollection of whatever she imagined she'd seen in the shed had shattered her well-being.
"I mean it," Teddy said, determined not to let her make a small thing of his expression of love. "It means a lot to me to know you're up there. When I see you… it gives me support. Really," he said, smiling.
"I know," she confessed. Tears came quickly to her eyes and she dabbed them with her napkin before they ran too far down her cheeks.
"What is it?"
"Nothing," she said. "I can't help it. Part of what has happened to me, maybe. I feel like crying all the time now." She forced a smile. "I'll be all right," she said quickly. She pushed her tray farther away and they kissed again, just as a nurse entered the room.
"Hey, hey," she teased. She waved her right forefinger at him. "No riling up the patients."
Teddy blanched.
"You're supposed to eat that stuff," the nurse said, pointing to the tray full of food.
"It's… ugh," Colleen said, and shook her head.
"Nothing wrong with her," the nurse said. Teddy waited for the nurse to leave.
"Want me to run down and get you a Big Mac or something?"
"No. I'm not really that hungry, anyway." Teddy leaned over and tasted the turkey.
"Not that bad." He continued to eat.
"You jocks eat anything, as long as it doesn't move." He laughed but ate some more. Her warm smile returned, and he felt reassured that she would be all right.
"I told you the other night you were imagining things. But some of this is wild. What do you think made you imagine all that stuff?" he asked.
"I don't know. Maybe… maybe I can't deal with the baby and with the way things have changed at the house."
He nodded as though he understood, but since she didn't understand, herself, she knew he was just being polite.
"You probably won't be able to go out after the game, though, huh?" he said, anticipating the disappointing reply.
"I don't imagine so. Hopefully I won't be on any medication, but you've got to expect that they'll tell me to take it easy."
"Yeah. Well, everybody's up for it. I think we're ready," he said, and ate the last piece of turkey. "I hope I won't be depressed afterward."
"You won't." He shrugged and started to pace. She laughed at him. "You? Acting nervous? What happened to the famous Iceman?"
"He melted." She laughed again, and he came back to the seat beside her bed. He suddenly had a very satisfied smirk on his face. "Does taking it easy mean I can't come over to see you tomorrow night, either to celebrate privately or cry in your arms?"
"No, silly. Of course you can come over. Oh, I told Audra to come over and bring me the work I missed. But she won't stay long," she added.
"Okay," he said. They talked a while longer and then he left. The hospital aide brought her some coffee, and then Colleen called home to speak to either Harlan or Dana. She was surprised to hear a strange voice say, "Hamilton residence."
"This is Colleen," she said. She heard laughter in the background. "Is my brother there?"
"One moment, please."
"Who was that?" she asked when Harlan got on.
"Oh, that's the nurse, Nurse Patio," he said, and laughed.
She heard him cover the mouthpiece with his hand and say something. There was more laughter.
"Harlan?"
"Hi, honey. So how are you doing? Did you eat?"
"A little. What's going on there?"
"We're having dinner. The nurse made it. Actually, it's a wonderful dinner."
"Have you heard from Jillian?"
"Who? Oh. No, nothing."
"How's Dana?"
"A lot better. A whole lot better," Harlan added in suggestive overtones that Colleen found embarrassing. He sounded strange, almost drunk.
"Have you been drinking?" she asked.
"Huh? Oh, just a little wine. So you're doing okay? Good. Everything's going to be all right."
"You're going to come up here in the late morning, right?" she asked.
"Right after my ten-o'clock linguistics class," he said, pronouncing it "linwistics." He laughed at his pronunciation. "Have a good night's rest," he said.
"Harlan…" she began, but he had already hung up.
She looked down at the receiver as though she could see through it and witness what was happening at the other end. Then she cradled the phone and sat back in the bed, wondering. After a few moments she realized she was clutching the large silver cross, as though she had already become dependent upon its holy powers.
As soon as Harlan ended his phone conversation with his sister, he returned to the dinner table. Actually, he thought, Colleen wasn't far off the mark when she asked him if he had been drinking. He felt pleasantly high from the wine and imagined that his behavior, the sound of his voice and his laughter, had revealed it.
But it was good wine, very good wine. He had already drunk three glasses. After all the tension and the excitement of the past few days it felt good to let himself go. Overdoing it a little with the wine was just a small extravagance, anyway, he thought. The nurse produced a second bottle, so he didn't feel guilty about pouring himself a fourth glass. Dana had only the one, but Rose Patio had as many as he did, only she didn't look in the least affected by it. She sat as straight, held her head as high, and continued to look at him with clear, coldly analytical eyes.
"You know," he said, "I'm not really a connoisseur of wine. Actually, it's very rare that I drink any… practically only when we go out to dinner, huh, Dana?" He laughed but he didn't think she had even heard him. She had taken a second helping of meat and was concentrating on that. So he directed himself entirely to the nurse. "But this wine is absolutely delicious. The thing is, it has a flavor all its own, very distinctive, sort of a cross between cherry and… I don't know… something a bit salty. It has a lot of body, a fullness," he said.
He turned the glass in his fingers and watched how the candlelight filtered through the dark red liquid, making it seem more like a glass of clear, red rubies. He laughed and sipped some more, holding the wine in his mouth, bathing his tongue in the flavor and texture, and then swallowing it quickly, closing his eyes as he did so.
"You drink it as though you're making love to it," Nurse Patio said.
"Huh?"
He stared at her across the table. Her white uniform seemed to take on a scarlet tint. It was so tight on her, it was easy to imagine her naked body beneath it. He envisioned her skin to be as crimson as the blush on a ripe peach, although her breasts were milk white and peaked with strawberry nipples. It was strange how he thought of her body in terms of things to eat, especially after so satisfying a meal, but she stirred his appetite in a deeper, even frightening, way. He felt an unusual craving for food, unusual because this hunger wasn't simply the normal desire for edible things with which to nourish his body; it was sexual as well, almost as if the very act of consuming food could bring on an orgasm.
The more he looked at the nurse, the more desirable she became. He rubbed his eyes and looked at Dana. She sat back, chewing. Her loosened robe fell open. For a moment he thought about her bloated bosom. The vivid memory of the baby pressing its lips around her red, erect nipple returned. However, during this quick recollection, when the baby pulled back, wine spurted from Dana's breast instead of milk. The vision added more heat to his already warm body.
"The way you hold that glass…" Nurse Patio continued. "So affectionately. You caress the rim with your lips and then you drink," she said. Dana laughed, but it was such a sharp, hard laugh, his eyes widened and he sat up straighter.
"I'm just—"
"Fucking the wine," Dana said, and laughed again.
"What?" He looked from her to Nurse Patio, but her expression was unchanged. He started to smile. "What did you say? I can't believe she said that. Did you hear that?"
"I heard it," Nurse Patio said dryly, as if to say "So what?" Dana laughed again and then pushed her plate away.
"God, am I full."
"No wonder. You ate five pounds of beef," Harlan said.
"Oh, I did not." She grimaced, the creases in her forehead appearing like deep, bloodless incisions in her head. "So what? I'm eating for two," she said. She turned to the nurse. "Right?"
"Positively. For two. But maybe you ought to rest now," Nurse Patio said softly. Harlan looked at Nurse Patio quickly. She spoke to Dana almost as though they had been lovers.
"Oh, no, let me help with the dishes," Dana protested.
"That won't be necessary. Go on upstairs. Make yourself comfortable. Later I'll bring you some warm milk."
"Warm milk?" Harlan said. He started to laugh.
"What's wrong with that, Harlan?" Dana demanded.
"Nothing wrong with it. It's just that you never had warm milk after a meal before. Usually you have coffee. Warm milk sounds like something you give an elderly person."
"Well, tonight I'm having warm milk. It's what Nurse Patio thinks will be best," Dana said, not hiding her annoyance. She pressed her teeth together and pulled her lips back into a snarl.
"Fine," Harlan said, somewhat oblivious to the intensity of her response. "Whatever Nurse Patio says is fine with me," he added, smiling. He lifted his glass to toast the nurse.
"You're acting very silly, Harlan. Very silly," Dana said, and got up. "If anyone needs coffee, you do."
"I have some coffee for him," Nurse Patio said. She eyed him as a marksman would eye a target, closing one eye and tilting her head to the side. "Don't worry about him."
"Good," Dana said, and started for the stairs. She paused. "Thank you for everything, Rose," she said.
"It's quite all right. A pleasure," the nurse said. Harlan turned to watch Dana continue toward the stairs. Then he turned back to Nurse Patio. She stood up and approached him slowly. He couldn't take his eyes off her. When she came this close to him, he picked up a pungent, attractive scent. Inhaling it made his mind reel. It was more intoxicating than the wine. She reached down to take his hand. "Why don't you go into the living room, Harlan? Take your wine with you. I'll bring you some coffee in a while, okay?" Her voice was already soft, far-off, a voice from a dream, something forbidden that had escaped the confines of fantasy and entered his reality.
"Sure. Thanks," he said, and stood up. "Oh, shouldn't I help you with this?"
"No. It's no problem. Go on. Relax."
He nodded and obediently went to the living room. He felt a little unsteady and giggled at himself when he reached up for the wall to guide his way. He took great care not to spill any of the wine from his glass. He stood in the living-room doorway for a moment, thinking about where he wanted to sit, and then made a lunge for the couch, laughing even louder at his own unsteadiness.
Slowly, sipping the remainder of his wine, he suddenly felt himself sinking into the soft couch. He closed his eyes and sat back. He didn't know how long he was there before she came to him; it felt as though he had been asleep for some time. When he opened his eyes again, she was standing before him, only this time the illusion of being able to look through her uniform was so strong, he really thought she was naked. He blinked rapidly and wiped his eyes. His imagination was running away with him, and he was both a little frightened and embarrassed by his budding erection.
"Are you all right, Harlan?" she asked.
"What?" He looked around, not aware of how much time had passed. He had even forgotten coming into the living room. "Oh, yes, yes." He saw that his wineglass was empty. Now his mouth was filled with a strange stinging sensation, not unlike the one that followed the eating of a hot pepper. "I feel a little funny," he said.
"Oh?"
She sat beside him. Once again he smelled that strong, alluring scent. It was so sharp and so provocative, he closed his eyes. A rainbow of colors flashed under his lids and he sighed, his body feeling so soft, so pliable, it was almost as though it had been turned into a sponge. When he opened his eyes again, she was leaning toward him. Her face was so close, he could see the thin film of wetness on her lips.
"You've been through a great deal, too, Harlan. Doctors never think about the pressures on the spouse. Sure, Dana is going through some turmoil, but so are you," she said. Her voice was softer, friendlier. Gone was the correct, hard tones of the professional, aloof nurse. She touched his shoulder. The warmth from her fingers traveled with lightning speed down his back and across his chest. The sexual excitement that had come over him so quickly, and so surprisingly, continued to build.