Blood & Marriage (Dark Mafia Romance) (10 page)

“Lucrezia.”

I pulled myself up as my heart fluttered in panic. My whole
body tightened, ready to run, but I couldn’t act erratically. Maybe the
situation could still be saved?

“Hello?” I asked, my eyes searching for the source of the
voice in the darkness.

Santo stepped out of the shadow of the trees, and I imagined
him taking me away, eloping with me to some exotic country far away.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” There was a hint of threat
in Santo’s voice, as if he was already sharpening a knife for Seth’s throat.

Air wheezed in my lungs, and I looked around, afraid someone
could hear us. But I saw nothing. “No, he didn’t. It’s not like that,” I said,
pushing back my hair. I wished I could jump off the balcony and straight into
his arms.

“You don’t have to lie to me,” he said, approaching the
wall, and before I even knew what he was doing, he was climbing the drainpipe,
supporting himself against flowerpots and ledges like some gecko.

I gasped but rushed to the side of the balcony, nervously
watching him climb. Oh, God, he was crazy, and reckless, and I absolutely loved
that about him. My heart beat so fast it felt as if it would start leaving an
imprint on my nightgown, but I didn’t tell Santo to go back where he came from.
If he slipped, maybe I could save him somehow?

As soon as his hand was on the balustrade, I put mine on
his, but he didn’t need the help as he landed on the balcony with a huff. I
could smell the limoncello on him, but I didn’t mind one bit.

“Why are you crying?” he asked, leaning close, but I knew I
couldn’t reach out for him now.

I was married.

I crossed my arms on my chest, unable to tear my eyes from him.
In my darkest moments, he was there to make me feel better. “I...it just didn’t
work out well,” I whispered, leaning against the wall behind me.

I gasped when he grabbed my jaw, and turned it to the light,
assessing my face. “You’re sure he didn’t hurt you?” It was as if he
wanted
me to confirm his worries, just to have an excuse to go after Seth.

My lips trembled, but I nodded anyway. “I don’t think we’re
a good match. It’s no one’s fault.”

He started pacing on the balcony like a wounded wolf, looking
for something to bite into. Only now I realized that he must have known Seth
left the room, or he wouldn’t have barged in here. He was watching over me,
like he promised.

“What does it mean that you’re not a good match?”

I looked down, embarrassed by the question. It was difficult
to explain. “I just... he’s a nice person, but I don’t like him. And I don’t
think he likes me either.” My voice shrank when I thought of how mechanical the
sex had been. As if Seth had been forced to sleep with me with as much pressure
as had been put on me. “We did what everyone wanted us to do, and that’s that.”

“I told you he wasn’t a good match!” Santo growled and
pulled out a cigarette. How was it my fault? I didn’t choose Seth. “He should
have stayed where he came from.”

“What do you want me to do about it?” I asked, not even
hiding my resentment at that question.

“Did he finally tell you that he’s leaving tomorrow?”

I couldn’t understand why he was being so hurtful. A deep
sob gathered in my chest. I shook my head and hugged my body against the cold
wall.

I was hurt and exhilarated at the same time. At least I
wouldn’t have to spend any more time with Seth. It would give me some time to
adjust to the truth about our marriage and what it would, inevitably, be like.
I couldn’t believe that he would be discussing a honeymoon with me while
knowing he wouldn’t even be here the next day.

“That’s what I thought.” Santo took a deep drag of smoke,
his dark eyelids low over his eyes, expression tense. He wasn’t wearing his bow
tie anymore, and the open collar revealed the scar on his neck.

“And? Why are you telling me this? Why do you want me to
feel even worse?” I asked him, gathering the robe closer around me.

He gave me an unexpectedly lost look. “No, I don’t. I’m
just… I hate it. Old men playing us all like puppets.”

I spun around to face him. “I hate it too. And now I’m
trapped, and I will never break out of this cage. This is my life now. It’s
always gonna be my life,” I said, but a sob broke into my words, and I closed
my hands over my face, unable to contain the anguish that was so deeply rooted
in my heart.

I did what I had to. The one time in my life that I defied
Father’s rules I paid for it so dearly I would never be able to forget the
lesson learnt that day. But I didn’t know how long I could bear the
consequences of obeying orders.

Santo’s warm arms closed around me, and despite being angry
with him, I still accepted the comfort they gave me. “We all…have to do things
we’re not proud of sometimes. I get it.”

I leaned into him, letting his warm scent envelop me in its
safe cocoon. “What about you? What did you do?” I asked softly, tracing his
lapel with my fingers.

Santo swallowed, and I could sense his hesitation on my
skin, but he didn’t pull away. “When I was sixteen, my father decided it was
time I got made.” His voice was soothing, but his words were not. “So when the
opportunity came, I was sent out to do a job with Acerbi, who was a few years
older and more experienced. He was supposed to watch over me and report back.
It wasn’t even a man who counted much that I was supposed to kill. A lowlife
cheating us out of money.

“I was very good with a gun by then, but shooting rabbits is
much different than killing a man. When push came to shove, I hesitated too
long. My target alarmed others, and in no time, there were five more men in there,
blocking any chance for a retreat. The one shot I took missed its mark, and one
of them slit my throat. I barely remember what happened next, but it became a
bloodbath.

“In the end, Acerbi killed every last one of those six men,
and thanks to my wound being shallow, he managed to take me to a doctor and
save my life. But my shame isn’t going out to kill that man. That’s who I am
now, and I will never be anything different. My shame is that three of the
kills that night came from my gun, and I got made on another man’s achievement.

“Every day, I look in the mirror when I shave, and I
remember I have a debt to pay. But I also look at that scar and know to do my
duties even if they leave scars.” Santo pulled away. “Scars don’t make us
weaker.”

I took a deep breath, hugging Santo tighter. I couldn’t
imagine him killing anyone with the same hands that held me so gently, but he
was who he was. “I understand,” I said softly and got to my toes, kissing the
scar right where it ended in a twisted pebble of flesh. “There’s no running
from it.” And tonight, I hadn’t ran from my duties either. Santo gave me the
reassurance I needed. That he didn’t consider me less than, just because I’d
had sex with Seth, despite being unwilling.

“I’m sorry I got angry. I know it’s not your fault.” The
scar pressed against my lips when he spoke.

My hand found his, and I squeezed it, wanting to savor his
presence for a while longer. “The sooner we forget about this, the better.”

Santo entwined our fingers, and despite what he told me
about who he was, I wasn’t afraid of him. “I refuse to forget it.”

I exhaled, burying my face in the folds of his shirt. Just
thinking about it hurt, but if I wanted to stay alive and keep Santo, Mona and
Father that way too, I needed to make difficult decisions. “Then you will be
unhappy. This...isn’t meant to be.”

“
This
isn’t meant to be?” he asked and leaned down to
kiss me, but I stepped back quick enough to avoid it, and let go of his hand.

“You know it isn’t. I’m married to someone else, and it’s not
like we can elope.” I pushed back my hair, trying to keep my voice steady as I
faced him. My heart thumped with happiness just from being close to him, but I
needed to keep my head cool. “There’s only one way this could end.” Even
thinking about my sister being attacked or abducted for my mistakes had my
stomach aching.

Santo took a deep breath, and straightened up, composing
himself. “I guess that’s true. We all do what we need to do,” he muttered and
backed away to the balustrade.

Seeing him go was like having my fingers torn off, but I
stayed where I was. “Thank you for everything.”

“Stay safe,” he said, but didn’t even look at me before
climbing off the balcony.

Knowing that I would never have him made me so empty inside
I couldn’t even cry anymore.

My days flew by with barely any contact with my husband, who’d
left for New York the day after our wedding. I became numb to that fact, and
tried to convince myself that it was for the better. That it would slow down
the pace of our relationship, but the truth was that if its pace became any
slower, it would be going backward.

My sister had to go back home not long after my wedding as
well, and I cried all day after she left, completely deserted. At least the
Villani women were around for me to have a chat with and distract myself, but
it wasn’t like I could be honest with them. The gossip I’d learned in the last
few weeks made my head swell.

I focused on listening to advice and finding out more about
others while keeping the realities of my life deeply hidden. I went shopping
with my new sort-of-friends, I indulged my love for fashion, and extensively
posted online, as if to prove to myself that everything in my life was perfect.
Mona liked all my pictures.

Christmas was approaching fast, and as the newest member of
the family, I was asked--or rather tasked--with decorating the tree for the
occasion. I briefly considered using fresh flowers, like I once did on a
smaller scale in my room back home, but it didn’t go down well with any of
Seth’s aunts, so I gave up on that idea and simply chose a color scheme.

The baubles and other decorative elements I ordered online
arrived earlier that day, and by the time the sun was setting, I was busy
unpacking all the white and golden elements. There was so much to be done, and
I didn’t want to be a disappointment for my new family. I had one of the men
bring me a ladder and proceeded with first pinning the lights and then adding
glass decorations according to the plan I drew.

Everything needed to be perfect.

“I like where this is going.”

Santo’s voice was such a surprise, I wobbled on the ladder,
turning around to have a look at him all too quickly. He had been gone for too
long. A week this time. He wouldn’t give me his phone number, paranoid about
someone possibly spying on our texts.

He was looking very casual today, dressed in a black
turtleneck and jeans. The way he always wore black made me think that he was
always dressed for a funeral, and I didn’t like that thought whatsoever,
because it only reminded me that when he was away, he was in danger.

And no matter how hard I tried not to, I thought about him
all the time. It was a relief to see him again. “Everyone has an opinion, and
this is me trying to please everyone,” I whispered, slowly getting off the
ladder, afraid I’d get distracted by his presence and fall.

Santo gave me a sly smile. “I’m sure there isn’t a person in
this house that isn’t
pleased
by you.” And this was another thing that
happened from time to time. Cocky flirting that never went anywhere, because
Santo was the one person in this house I absolutely wasn’t allowed to pleasure.

But I could talk to him. We were in public, so nothing
indecent could possibly happen. I picked up a box and smiled at him. “How was
your week?”
Dangerous? Are you okay underneath those clothes? Could you be
arrested?

Santo shrugged and picked up one of the glass baubles
painted in a lace pattern. “Intense. I bet you’ve been having much more fun
than I have. I heard you’ve been choosing furniture for your future house?”

My face fell before I could put my smile back on. “I have to
put my energy into something. Time’s just passing so fast.”
I haven’t talked
to you for so long.

He raised his eyebrows, but then turned to hang the bauble.
The thought that I’d once held on to those wide shoulders and had even got a
glimpse of his ass made my stomach clench. It felt as if light years had passed
since then.

“You don’t want a new house?”

“I do, but I won’t be living there alone, and I feel like
I’m doing this for myself only,” I said, watching him work in hope that maybe,
just maybe he’d offer to assist me.
Maybe he could visit you sometime?
asked a voice inside me, and I let myself delve into the guilty pleasure of
imagining him in my dream bedroom. White sheets against his tanned skin, and
all the time in the world to explore his body.

A silly dream
, I reminded myself when I glanced down
at the ring on my finger.

“You should prank him. Make his study neon green. That would
teach him about leaving his hot new wife alone.” He winked at me and pulled
another bauble out of the box.

I imagined big, powerful Seth stepping into that kind of
space, and I couldn’t help but find it amusing, even though it wasn’t something
I would ever dare to do. “I don’t think he’d enjoy that joke.”

“I guess it would have been a waste of money. Maybe I could
help you go shopping sometime? For your bedroom?” He whispered the last
question and raised his eyebrows. I would bet five pairs of Fendi heels that he
had no idea how much of a temptation he was.

I breathed harder and raised the box I was holding so that a
bit less of my neckline was on show. “I already have it planned, actually,” I
said but couldn’t stop myself from glancing into his eyes. It was like sticking
my fingers straight into the socket.

“Do you now? When are we going?” Santo grinned at me, and I
couldn’t help loving his attention even though we both knew it couldn’t go
anywhere.

“Well, I could show you a picture once it’s done,” I said
and approached him, to be closer. I started clipping tiny golden stars to the
branches of the tree, painfully aware of his arm being a finger’s width away.

“Or you could give me a tour.” He reached under my arm to
place a bauble in front of me, but I knew that he really did it to brush his
knuckles over my breast. The touch, while faint, made my fingers twitch, and
all I wanted was for time to stop and let us touch each other without anyone
knowing.

“A tour?” I asked, pretending I had no idea what he was
talking about.

“You would show me your wardrobe, the carpet, your dressing
table…” His voice was like the vibrating sounds made by a rattlesnake. They
gave me goose bumps and sent all my senses into a state of alert. But it was
when his fingertips glided over my buttocks that the tiny hairs on my arms bristled.
“We’d need to check if the mattress is soft enough too.”

“It’s very hard,” I whispered, closing my eyes to—just for a
moment—experience his touch and memorize the line he painted over my flesh.

“I bet it is. Just the way you like it.” His whisper was
barely audible, but I still gasped when he pressed two fingers between my
buttocks. I should have worn a dress with a fluffy petticoat.

“Comfortable to lie in any position,” I added shamelessly,
slowly rising to my toes. Maybe I could have him one more time? Seth had deserted
me after all.

Santo’s fingertips were drilling between my thighs from
behind in excruciatingly slow motions, making me hot and bothered no matter how
much I resisted. I knew I should’ve slapped his hand away, but instead I
wiggled against it.

“So when will we do this
tour
?” He watched me with
the intensity of a dragon about to breathe fire.

I opened my eyes to look at him, drawn closer like a moth to
the flame in his eyes. “I...maybe we could talk sometime?”

Santo’s touch became steadier and he settled on keeping his
hand on my ass. “Why? Is there something you want to
tell
me?”

I frowned. There was nothing I should’ve told him. In fact,
I shouldn’t have let him touch me like this, because someone could’ve walked in
at any time. I wished I could talk to him about the simplest things, but it was
too hard. Each time I saw him fueled the longing in my chest and left me
bleeding for days. “To tell you what?”

“Are you pregnant?” he whispered. “You should know by now,
right?”

My whole body filled with heat, and I looked at the glittery
bauble hanging right in front of me. “No...”

His hand slid off my ass, and I was surprised that he seemed
disappointed.

The long silence was broken by a voice from behind, and I
thanked God that Federico hadn’t come seconds earlier.

“Santo, can I have a word?”

I knew Santo wouldn’t reply ‘no’ to that question. It was
Seth’s father, Dino, who was the Don, but his brother Federico was the
consigliere
,
and his word was just as important.

I spun around, smiling at him, as if nothing happened. “Good
evening,” I said and quickly went on with the decorating, no longer looking
Santo’s way.

That was a close one. Maybe we shouldn’t have been speaking
at all. Not in private. Not in public. He was the one thing I didn’t seem able
to resist. Was it possible to become so physically dependent on a man after
having sex with him? Was this what it was? A crush?

Santo gave his father a nod, smiled at me, and he was off,
after complimenting my decorating skills one more time. And yet the tension in
my whole body wasn’t going away. I watched his tall silhouette disappear around
the corner. How could I possibly distract myself? Maybe I should call Seth? The
truth was I didn’t feel like it. I secretly hoped Seth would never come back,
even though I knew it made me a horrible person.

But I didn’t want him to disappear into a coffin. No, I
hoped that maybe this secret American girlfriend of his were real, and they
would elope, disappearing from the radar forever.

Maybe then I could date Santo for real. He seemed so
disappointed that I wasn’t pregnant, but it might have been Seth’s child as
well, so maybe it was for the better that nothing happened. Not that I haven’t
checked several times.

I was certain that Santo would leave me much more freedom
than I had now. He seemed to like me the way I was, not the pretty doll I
pretended to be for everyone else. How lovely would it have been to spend
Sundays together? Take walks in the garden and swim in the pool for hours. Just
the two of us.

“Lucrezia! That’s so lovely! The tree looks so classy this
year.” Gina, one of Seth’s more distant cousins came in with Vincenzo, who had
a smug smile on his face when he looked me up and down.

“Yep, that’s one sexy tree. I’d climb it.”

“Vinny!” Gina laughed and smacked his shoulder playfully,
but I wasn’t amused.

“Oh, well, it’s inspired by snow and...stars,” I said, to
change the topic. It was white to represent the cloth wrapped around Baby
Jesus. That was what I should have told him. Mentioning babies always chased
away men like Vincenzo.

“Have you ever spent Christmas farther north?” asked Gina.

I shook my head with a smile. It was a family tradition to
always celebrate the holiday at home.

“It is different in South Tyrol. Far too cold for my liking,
but the scenery is beautiful,” Gina told me, poking a cone-shaped bauble.

“Too bad my dear brother couldn’t come back for the
holidays, right?” Vincenzo sighed theatrically. “I mean, who will
tend
to his wife’s
needs
?” He wiggled his eyebrows and I wanted to puke.

Gina scowled when he wasn’t looking, and I wished I could
roll my eyes right back at her.

“I’m sure he will call us all on Christmas Eve,” I said,
pretending I had no idea what he was talking about. So far it had been a
hit-and-miss method when it came to Vincenzo, but it didn’t hurt to try, as I
didn’t feel confident enough in this house yet to tell him what I really
thought.

“How about I help out with the tree? Hop on, I’ll hold the
ladder.” He grinned and I couldn’t believe the bastard’s audacity, but I did
what I did best.

I smiled, nodded at Gina, and stepped back. “You two start
already. I need to pick up a few things.”

Gina looked into one of the open boxes. “That’s a pretty
one, Lucrezia.”

“Feel free to browse and ignore my plan,” I said and
evacuated from the living room as quickly as I could. There was something about
Vincenzo’s presence that made me feel physically dirty.

I drifted off to the only safe place I could think of that
was nearby. A bathroom at the far end of the villa, which wasn’t used for most
of the year. It locked from the inside so I could spend a while there
undisturbed, and hopefully when I came out, there would be more people
downstairs and Vincenzo would have someone else to perv on.

Without even switching on the light, I sat on the floor by
the window and breathed in the cool, fresh air.

I would not be wasting my time on dealing with a pig like
Vincenzo. Just thinking about him made me acutely aware of all the
family-oriented festivities. I’d have to stand him for several days in a row,
and that thought was unbearable.

Voices outside turned my attention to the garden below, but
my heart beat faster when I recognized one of them as the same one that melted
my panties right off me.

“There’s nothing going on,” he said coolly.

“Nothing?” Federico seemed to be working hard on not raising
his voice. “I saw where your hand was. Not enough pussy to go around? You have
to try to stick your dick in the one that’s not for you?”

My whole body stiffened, going into panic mode as I pressed
my back tightly to the tiles and listened.
Oh, God, he knew
. Would he
pass it on to Seth’s father?

“It was just a joke. You’re seeing things,” said Santo.

“I better be. I just came back from a chat with Tassa. In a
week or two we will be setting things into motion. Once Seth’s gone, she will
be passed on to Vincenzo, since that’s why she’s actually here. To be the wife
of the Don, so Bruni is happy no matter what internal shifts happen.”

Santo sighed, and I heard a lighter snap open. “It’s really
happening, huh?”

I took a deep breath, but quickly covered my mouth, afraid they’d
overhear me. My heart was hitting my breastbone, my head spun, my fingers
trembled.