Blonde With a Wand (7 page)

She returned with the phone pressed to her ear as she talked to her sister. “Yes, I’ll seriously think about calling the Lowells in Big Knob, but I don’t want to rush into anything. Right now let’s practice damage control. Promise you won’t say anything to anyone.” She paused. “Thank you. I really appreciate that.”

Jasper could sense the anxiety level in the room lowering. Anica was ready to take a break from the drama and settle in for the evening. His energy level was dropping, too, so he was okay with that program, but he hoped he wouldn’t be spending the night on the top of the bookshelf.

“Okay, Lily.” Anica shifted her weight as she talked on the phone.

Jasper noticed how her purple silk dress clung to her hips. He’d planned to take that dress off tonight, but after this episode she could be sexier than Cameron Diaz and he wouldn’t give a damn.

“Right,” Anica said. “I’ll be in touch tomorrow. Yeah, I know. Not until noon. Take care.” She closed her phone and looked up at Jasper. “I’m ready to call it a night, but I have to clean you up first. Otherwise you might lick that chocolate mousse while I’m asleep.”

He weighed the pros of getting clean with the cons of whatever watery fate she had in mind for him.

“I’ll run bathwater for you.”

For some reason, the bath concept seemed a little less scary than it had at first.

She gazed up at him. “Jasper, I’m sorry about this. I promise to do the best I can to make everything right again. We’ll take care of it tomorrow.” With a sigh she turned away and walked into her bedroom.

He could tell she was really sorry. As well she should be. If this was all real, and he was increasingly worried that it was, she’d behaved in a totally irresponsible manner by casting a magic spell she didn’t know how to reverse. He had no sympathy for her.

The bath water thundering into the tub sounded like Niagara Falls. He’d had no idea the world could be such a deafening place for a cat. Orion kept his watch at the bottom of the bookshelf.

Jasper didn’t relish sleeping with one eye open all night, but he was dependent on Anica to keep Orion from attacking him. It wasn’t his fault that he was invading the other cat’s territory, but he had to suffer for it all the same. Damn, how he hated this helpless feeling, and it was all Anica’s fault.

She came out wearing a white terry robe. Her feet were bare. In spite of his anger, he found himself wondering what she had on underneath the robe.

“All right, Jasper. Come with me.” Reaching to the top of the bookshelf, she pulled him down into her arms.

He could have resisted, but he was tired of hugging that narrow plank of wood. Even better, Anica nudged Orion aside. “Not you,” she said.

How she managed to get him into the bathroom and close the door on Orion, he wasn’t sure. But he’d rather face her than a cat bent on his destruction.

“The water’s lukewarm, Jasper,” she said. “I’ll make this quick, but I have to get that chocolate mousse off of you.”

He took a look at the water in the tub as she lowered him toward it. For one panicky moment he pictured drowning in the water, and he struggled. She held him tight in her arms and the terry robe kept his claws from digging into her skin.

Nevertheless he somehow ended up standing in that water while she scrubbed him down with a loofah. His scratches stung and he hated every minute of it, but he understood it had to be done. He searched for a distraction, which he found with very little trouble. As she leaned over to wash him, her terry robe fell open just enough to reveal her cleavage.

Think like a man
, Jasper told himself.
Take what bennies you can get and enjoy the view.
He concentrated on the sway of her breasts as she worked him over with the loofah, and for seconds at a time he’d forget that he was a cat getting a bath.

He peered intently at the opening in case he could catch a glimpse of a rosy nipple, but no such luck. Looking up he noticed that her hair was coming out of its arrangement and blond curls clung damply to her cheek. She looked sexy as hell, and he was so engrossed that when the bath was over and she wrapped him in a big towel, he was almost sorry.

“There you go. Such a good kitty.” She dried him with the towel while she crooned endearments.

Kitty?
He growled at her, damned insulted that she’d called him that. He was a guy, with a manly job navigating the tricky waters of the commodities market. He supported the Bulls and the Bears with season tickets.

What else? He drove a Beemer and played a mean game of pool. He’d been known to smoke the occasional cigar, and he loved a cold glass of beer. He was so loaded with testosterone it wasn’t even funny. And yet the more she rubbed him down, the more he had the urge to . . . purr.

The sound rumbled up from his chest, surprising the hell out of him. A manly man didn’t purr, dammmit! But cats did, and whatever she was doing with that towel was terrific. He couldn’t stop the purr from getting louder. It wasn’t unlike an erection that wouldn’t go away.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it, Jasper?” She gave him one last swipe with the towel and set him down on the bathroom floor.

And damned if he wasn’t still purring. Apparently it was some sort of cat reflex that he couldn’t control. Hanging on to his anger was getting tougher by the minute. If he didn’t concentrate he was liable to end up on his back getting a tummy scratch.

No, by God. She was the enemy. Assuming this was real and not a dream, she’d turned him into a cat over some minor infraction. Once he was himself again she’d pay for that. And he would be himself again. No way was he ending up as a cat forever. That was simply unacceptable.

“I’m glad you let me give you a bath,” she said in an indulgent tone. “Are you hungry? I have some leftover chicken in the refrigerator. Let me get you some. It’s the least I can do.”

Spoiling him wouldn’t let her off the hook, but he’d take advantage of everything he could while he was in this situation. Besides, he couldn’t be expected to eat those dried rabbit droppings that passed for cat food. Surely she’d continue to feed him people food.

She scooped him up in her arms and carried him out of the bathroom. Being carried meant he wasn’t in charge of his movements, which he disliked, but it also meant he wouldn’t be attacked by the demon cat who was waiting right outside the bathroom door, ready to pounce. And being cuddled against Anica’s breasts wasn’t the worst thing in the world, either.

That cursed purr started up again. He sounded too blasted agreeable, and he tried to will the purr gone, but short of hacking up a hair ball, he didn’t know how to stop it. Come to think of it, he regretted raising the whole hair ball issue. Other cats might indulge in that disgusting behavior, but he had no intention of doing it.

Orion didn’t seem very happy, which made Jasper exceedingly pleased. The orange cat made noises that sounded like a kitty version of swearing as he trotted right along with them toward the kitchen.

From his favored perch in Anica’s arms, Jasper gazed down at Orion.
Eat my shorts, fur face.

Anica set Jasper on the counter. “I’ll feed you up here, so Orion can’t get to you.” Then she crouched down and tried to pay attention to the demon cat, but he wasn’t having any of it. He stalked away, out of reach.

“This is only temporary, Orion,” Anica said. “You’re my main man. Jasper will be gone by tomorrow.” Then she muttered something that sounded suspiciously like
I hope
.

While Anica pulled a bowl out of the refrigerator, Jasper took inventory of the kitchen from his position on the beige laminated countertop. His brief time on the floor of this apartment had taught him that he couldn’t see shit from ten inches off the ground. No wonder cats sought higher vantage points.

The appliances were standard apartment issue—white and slightly beat up. The cabinets were oak laminate and also a little worn around the edges. Both the kitchen and the living room were on an outside wall facing a neighborhood park, so there was a window over the sink, and Anica had several small pots of stuff growing on the sill.

If he hadn’t been factoring in the witch thing, he would have said they were herbs like basil and oregano, but he couldn’t imagine she’d take up valuable windowsill placement for something that ordinary. She could be growing something poisonous there. For damn sure he wouldn’t chomp on any of them to find out.

She’d added some decorator touches to the kitchen with colorful towels and potholders, plus she had a killer espresso machine sitting on a counter across from him. The blender sat next to the espresso machine. It was filled with a light green mixture—the margarita Lily had created with her wand. Other than the magic margarita, the kitchen was unremarkable-looking.

He wasn’t sure what he’d expected—black cauldrons bubbling with evil-smelling potions, maybe. Jars filled with eye of newt or some equally nauseating ingredient. Instead the kitchen looked about the same as those belonging to his previous, nonwitchy girlfriends.

The microwave dinged and she set a warm bowl of cut-up chicken in front of him. “I warmed it up for you,” she said. “And here’s a bowl of water, too.” She put that down beside the chicken.

The food smelled like heaven, which probably explained why Orion was yowling with displeasure as he pranced back and forth in the narrow kitchen.

“I can’t give you any,” Anica told him. “The vet’s orders were very specific. No more table food. Being overweight is bad for your heart.”

Jasper tried to enjoy his triumph as he ate the chicken, but Orion sounded pitiful. If the orange cat hadn’t tried to rip out his throat, Jasper might even feel sorry for him.

“Hey, Orion, sweetie. Come on over.” Anica held out her hand. “Let me give you a cuddle. That’s better than food.”

Orion must not have thought so, because he danced away from her and kept yowling his complaint about being chickenless. He was making quite the racket.

“Okay, this is not working. You’re disturbing the neighbors.”

Sure enough, a thumping noise came from above them.

“See?” Anica snatched up a protesting Orion and carried him into the living room.

A door opened and closed, and then there was silence. Jasper couldn’t believe she’d just throw her cat out in the hall. He was working very hard not to feel sorry for Orion, but if Anica had given him the boot for a few angry yowls, then Jasper had better mind his manners. He couldn’t afford to be tossed out the door. Not if all this was real.

Anica walked back into the kitchen minus her cat.

Jasper stared at her, his heartbeat picking up. He was at her mercy and he didn’t really know what she was capable of doing. He prepared to run if necessary, to fight if he had to.

“Don’t worry,” she said, as if reading his mind. “I put him in the coat closet. He actually loves it in there, and the darkness settles him down.”

Some of Jasper’s tension drained away. Thinking like a cat, he could imagine how a cozy dark place would appeal. Now that he’d had his chicken and some water, he could go for a cozy dark place, himself.

“Since he’s tucked away, feel free to use the litter box if you want.”

His brain went on tilt.
Litter box?
Oh, dear God.

Anica continued to explain the setup in a perfectly normal voice, as if she weren’t bringing up the most horrific concept he’d yet encountered about this transformation.

She pointed to the end of the kitchen. “The litter box is in there, on the floor of the pantry. I always leave the pantry door open for easy access.”

She could have a freakin’ red carpet leading through that pantry door. He wasn’t going in there. Not now. Not ever. He was a man. He got the indoor plumbing concept.

“I think I might be better off leaving Orion in the coat closet for the night,” she said. “He’s had a rough time—not that you haven’t—but that’s his security spot. It’ll only be for tonight, anyway.”

She paused, her finger tapping her chin. “I’m not sure where you’d rather be for the rest of the night. I don’t have an actual kitty bed, because Orion usually sleeps with me.” She shrugged. “I’ll leave it up to you.”

Turning off the kitchen light, she walked into the living room and doused the lights in there, too. When she walked into her bedroom, she left the bedroom door open.

Jasper sat on the counter and contemplated his next move. Where should he spend the night? He could take a chair in the living room, or he could crawl back under her bed. He could also sleep
on
her bed, but that would appear too friendly, as if he actually liked her.

At the moment, though, he had a more pressing problem than where he’d spend the night. He had to pee.

Anica didn’t sleep worth a damn. When she woke up, groggy and disoriented, at five, the misery of the previous night came rushing back.

Having Jasper loose in the house all night had been a bad idea, psychologically speaking. She should have locked him in the bathroom or the kitchen—anywhere so that she’d know where he was.

While half-asleep she could have sworn she’d heard the toilet flush. Then she’d had nightmares that he’d spontaneously changed back into a man, which she supposed could have happened. She’d been so irresponsible to invoke a spell she didn’t completely understand.

She’d acted out of arrogance and wounded pride. Because she was so good at her craft and normally had no problem countering the spells she cast, she’d never dreamed she couldn’t undo anything she created. How wrong she’d been.

If—no,
when
—Jasper became a man again, he might well be murderous with rage. She couldn’t really blame him. Under the same circumstances, she’d be ready to do damage to the person who’d cursed her.

Because she’d never seen Jasper truly furious, she wasn’t sure what sort of reaction to expect from him when she and Lily transformed him. She’d take his clothes to the one-hour cleaning service this morning so he’d have something to wear, but that was the least of her worries.