Black Wolfe's Mate (Paranormal Shifter Romance) (11 page)

“Look at me, love,” he commanded softly, more confident now that he was close enough to catch her before she could tumble out of the window. She obeyed him without question, without hesitation. Her eyes were so big and sad, it tugged at his heart.

“I’m sorry, Derrick,” she murmured.

Derrick pulled her into his arms, carrying her to the oversized chair next to the massive hearth. No fire blazed there today. He sat down, keeping her firmly ensconced upon his lap, tucking her head into his neck.

“Don’t cry, Angelica,” he whispered. “You know I cannot bear it.”

Angelica was a silent crier, he’d learned. There were no racking sobs or heaving shoulders. If he hadn’t felt the hot moisture against his collarbone and scented her tears, he wouldn’t have even been aware of it. He pulled her a little tighter and kissed the top of her head.

He wondered vaguely why she was so upset. Christophe had told him Angelica had stayed with Antoine, fussing over him like a mother hen until she was absolutely convinced he was fine. Dieter assured her reconstruction of that particular section of the kitchen would be no great effort. He reached delicately into her mind, taking advantage of their mating bond to search for the answers he needed.

“I’m useless,” she sniffed into his skin, even as he located the same sentiment within. “Worse than useless. I wreak havoc wherever I go.”

“Ah, love,” he soothed, stroking her arm. “That is not true. You are everything to me.”

“My mate,” she murmured against his neck. “You have given me more than anything I could have asked for, more than I ever dreamed of.”

Her words pleased him. “And the pack, they have welcomed me, even though I know they really didn’t want to.”

“Where did you ever get such an idea?”

“Oh, come on, Derrick. I might be new to the whole shifter thing, but I am not an idiot. They were not pleased when you chose me.” Her hands pushed lightly against him, as if to move away, but he was having none of that. She needed to feel the truth, not just hear it. And though reassurance was an integral part of what he would provide, he would not lie. They hadn’t been pleased with his choice of mate — not at first.

“And yet, they each gave their blood to save you.”

“Because of
you
, Derrick,” she said, giving up her half-hearted attempt to distance herself. “Because they love you and they would do anything for you.”
Even when they believe it to be a horrible mistake,
she added silently, forgetting he could easily hear thoughts crafted with such strong emotion. Judging by the immediate responses thrusting into him from his sentinels, they were picking up her distress as well.

“I am their Alpha.”

“You are so much more than that,” she said fervently. “You have no idea how wonderful you are, how much they look up to you. They think you deserve better.”
And I have to agree with them
. He heard the words she didn’t speak aloud, and they were unacceptable, no matter from whom they originated.

“Enough!” he said firmly. He had no idea where she was getting these crazy ideas, but he was going to talk to his pack about it the moment he was certain Angelica was all right. Clearly, they were better at shielding their positive feelings than their initial negative ones, probably because of their highly possessive and jealous natures. And while Derrick was extremely territorial where Angelica was concerned, his pack was beyond suspicion. It was far more important that Angelica understand just how much she had entwined herself into their hearts.

“It’s true, Derrick,” she spoke quietly into his neck, a light nuzzle solely her privilege to impart. “You know it as well.”

“I know nothing of the sort, and I cannot fathom where you would get such an idea.”

“I know you love me,” she said, kissing beneath his jaw, knowing how much he liked it. “I may not understand it, but I know it. You show me every day.”

“Is that not enough?”

“I want to feel useful. I want to show you – show them - you didn’t choose poorly. That I can contribute to the pack, too.” She lifted her head to look into his eyes. “I want them to accept me as more than just your mate, Derrick.”

“But they do, love.” And it was true. He just didn’t know how to make her see that. It didn’t help that each time one of them had taken her under his wings there had been a minor catastrophe. The earlier incident in the kitchen had been the most recent in a string of unfortunate occurrences.

It was Derrick’s belief that she was trying too hard to win their approval when she clearly already had it. But apparently, Angelica had trouble accepting that, believing her place in the pack should be earned, not simply given because she was the Alpha’s mate.

Her desire to earn her place among the pack filled him with a sense of pride. There were those who would expect and demand the loyalty of the others simply because she was the Alpha’s mate. But not Angelica; she wanted to prove herself through thought and deed.

What she failed to see is that her willingness to do so was enough to garner their respect. She still clung to the fear that they thought her unworthy. Convincing her otherwise was going to take a lot of time and patience.

In the meantime, his best course of action involved distraction.

Derrick began to untie the laces of her dress. It thrilled him to no end that she had taken to wearing the loose, comfortable shifts in the tower. He found them exceptionally arousing.

She hummed softly as he dropped his head and placed his lips against her tender skin. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she pulled herself around to straddle him, lifting only enough to let him free himself from his trousers. He palmed her breasts as she took him deep inside her.

Angelica rode him slowly, passionately. He allowed her to control their lovemaking. Typically, it was he who dominated, but he sensed her need to be in command of something now, when she felt like she had so little control over her life.

The angle of penetration was different, deeper, the inner muscles of her sheath rippling and squeezing like a thousand tiny fingers stroking him in a synchronized dance. All too soon, he was grabbing her hips and emptying deep into her womb even as she came around him with the softest of sighs.

At least I can do this
, she thought, filling herself with her mate’s pleasure.

“Angelica,” he began, picking up her thoughts, but she was already lifting herself from his lap and cleaning him with edges of her shift. “
Angelica
.” God help him, he’d been an Alpha for more than half a millennium, but he had no idea how to fix this.

She smiled at him, a sad, tender smile. “It’s okay, Derrick,” she said, kissing the tip of his nose. “I think I’m just hormonal. I’ll get over it.”

Hormonal? The word sounded so foreign to him. Alien. He vaguely understood the feminine reference, but he was the first to admit he was rather clueless. He’d never had to consider
hormones
before.

Christophe?
He called out rather desperately, focusing the communication to his healer.

Yes?
Came the immediate reply.
Is there something wrong?

What do you know of female hormones?

There was a long pause, then the unmistakable sound of laughter in Derrick’s head.
Not nearly enough. Why do you ask?

Angelica suggests her malaise is hormonal
.

Another pause, this one far shorter.
Did she say anything else?

No, but her emotions are exceptionally strong at the moment. She cries easily and has been initiating intimate contact.

Christophe stopped laughing.
Has her skin been hot to the touch?

Derrick considered the question briefly.
Yes. Do you think she is ill? She has taken to wearing thin shifts in the tower. Perhaps she’s caught a draft.

A long silence stretched between them.
I do not think she is ill, Derrick
, Christophe said slowly.
I think she might be entering her first heat cycle
.

The words had the same effect on Derrick as a freight train hitting him at top speed.
Heat cycle?
He looked at his mate, at the soft radiant flush he attributed to their amorous play. What if it was more than that? What if her body was preparing itself? What if she were already pregnant?

Usually it took years for a mating to produce young. Then again, where Angelica was concerned, none of the usual rules seemed to apply. She was not only transformed with the blood of an Alpha, but initially sustained with the blood of a very old and powerful pack. She had connected with her inner wolf faster and more powerfully than any of them had expected. What if other things were progressing faster as well?

The strangest feeling came over him. He felt breathless and weak all at once.

Derrick?

I’m...fine
, Derrick answered. Though, in truth, he felt anything but. Siring his own pups was a far-off dream, something he hadn’t foreseen happening for years. And with all of the uncertainty surrounding Angelica’s turning, he hadn’t allowed himself to hope.

“Derrick?” Angelica asked, her face concerned when she saw his color flee so quickly. “Are you all right?”

He nodded automatically, drawing in a steadying breath. He needed to get a grip; he was an
Alpha
, for God’s sake.

“You poor thing,” she said, cupping his face. “You have so much going on and I am only adding to your worry.” She kissed him with so much tenderness, it was nearly his undoing. Even when she was feeling lost and confused within herself, she worried more about him. “Why don’t you go out for a run tonight?”

He nodded again.
Yes, a run was good
, he thought as both man and beast seemed suddenly incapable of forming a coherent thought.

“You will come?” he asked absently, as he stood and fixed his pants.

“No,” she shook her head. “I think you need some guy time. After all, you’ve been spending every evening with me.”

Yes, he had. And he made the most of every one of those evenings, loving and branding his beautiful bride. He’d thought it was a result of the mating bond, but what if it was more than that? What if his insatiable desire was a direct result of natural changes in her body, his carnal beast responding to her body’s sexually explicit invitation to breed?

“Go, Derrick,” she encouraged, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her head to his chest. “I’ll be fine.”

“If you’re sure...” he said hesitantly. He felt torn. His instincts were telling him to remain with his mate, that she needed him. The rest of him felt off-balance and anxious; he’d never had to deal with anything even remotely similar. A good, hard run with his pack might help him put things back into proper perspective. And with Angelica safely ensconced in the tower, he could address these issues with his pack. After centuries of living, surely they could navigate through this if they put their minds together.

Angelica petted him, her touch instantly soothing. “I’m sure. I’m feeling a little wiped out anyway. I think I’m going to take a nap. Wake me up when you come back?”

Derrick wondered what, if anything, fatigue might mean on top of everything else. Was it a good sign? A bad one? He would have to ask Christophe.

“You can count on it, love,” he answered.

A
ngelica exhaled heavily once Derrick left. He needed this time with his pack. He was spending too much time cosseting her, and while she loved it, she had to accept the fact that, as Alpha, he had other responsibilities as well.

Perhaps that was part of the problem
, she mused. Everyone had been very kind to her, but maybe, on some level, the pack resented her for taking up so much of their Alpha’s time. There was more to it, surely, but she’d come to see how close they all were, how connected. With her coming along and requiring so much attention, it only made sense it would negatively affect the pack dynamics.

Pack dynamics
, she mused
.
How strange her world had become! A month ago, she had all but lost hope, nothing to look forward to but an imminent, painful death.

Then Derrick had suddenly appeared seemingly out of nowhere, joining her on the rocks that day. Power had radiated around him, drawing her in. They spoke little, but words weren’t necessary when his very presence was a soothing balm to her tortured soul.  For the first time in her life, she had felt connected to another human being, and it was at once beautiful and terrible. How cruel was it for Fate to dangle such perfection before her, taunting her with what she could never have?

But apparently, Fate had other plans, plans she could not have foreseen, even in her wildest dreams. Her life had been a series of steps, all leading to this point, right here, right now. She made up her mind then and there. She was going to stop being so needy. This was a second chance, a gift, and she would not squander it. She was the Alpha’s mate, and it was time for her to start acting like it. 

Her husband was her first priority, but their pack was a close second. She had to consider their needs as well, and right now, they needed their Alpha. If she could encourage Derrick to spend more time with them, they would recognize that she was not deliberately trying to come between them.

The more she thought about it, the better she felt. Yes, she was having some difficulty finding her place, but deep down, she had no doubt she would. Her life had become everything she had ever dreamed of, as well as a lot of things she’d never even dared wish for. A life free of sickness and aging. A gorgeous, hot, sexy husband who would be ever faithful. A close-knit family who had taken her in as one of their own.

Her wildly swinging emotions began to settle somewhat as she forced herself to concentrate on the positive. What was wrong with her, anyway? She hadn’t felt this emotionally out of control since she went through the first throes of puberty. So what if she hadn’t found her niche yet? She would. She would find some way to enhance the pack. It would just take a little longer, but that was okay. They had forever...