Bitter Hearts (A Southern Loving Book 3) (19 page)

 Kari
opened her mouth to speak, unable to make a sound caused by the lump in her
throat. The tears she tried to keep at bay, rolled down her cheeks. Hank slowly
walk towards her, his hand hesitantly reached up to wipe the tears from her
cheeks.

 “No,”
Kari said. Backing up away from him.

Yes
she threw caution in the wind and fell in love with an unbelievable handsome
man. Kari thought they were building an empire of love. No one made her happy
in years or made her heart beat that happy rhythm until Hank came into her
life.

Yeah
she didn’t want a commitment until a few weeks ago. Marriage wasn’t anywhere on
her radar until he talked about spending his life with her. Thoughts of them
lying in bed last week, with their fingers intertwining, promising the future
to one another only for him to take it all back. 

“You
are the grenade that just blew my world to bits,” she sniffled.

“Don’t
Kari,” he said, appearing more hurt than she was. “I love you.”

Rapidly
blinking back the tears she shook her head slowly. “When you realize the
horrible choice you just made. When you look back and regret that you left me,
change your mind. When you look back and regret how you did me-let go of that
thought. There will be no chance to make it right.”

Closing
the distance between them he lifted her face up to meet his eyes. He leaned his
forehead against her. “I don’t know if I can do this,” he said in anguish.

Kari
could hear the truck pulling up and car door slamming closed. Stepping away
from him, she picked up her luggage and climbed into Shane’s truck.

The
ride to the airport was in silence. She recited words that Rita said to her
after Sam broke up with her,
“There is a lesson in this situation you will
learn.”

Closing
her eyes, she brushed the tears that fell from her eyes. She wished there was a
rewind button where she could go back and un-kiss those lips and un-fall in
love with him.

“Kari,”
Shane said in a soothing voice. “Be patient.”

Opening
her eyes she gazed at the black highway that was carrying her away from the man
she loved. “For what? I’m the one who’s losing,” she mumbled. Her mind was
still plagued with thoughts of Hank back on the ranch.

“I
heard you said something about a lesson.” He smiled sheepishly, glancing at her
quickly before darting his eyes back to the road. “Hank needs closure with
Natalie before he can truly move on.”

Kari
was sure that she didn’t want him back in her life, but she didn’t want him to
disappear either. Shit, she was so confused and didn’t have clear idea what she
wanted or needed. She grimaced as she thought about the showdown between
Natalie and her. Please God, please don’t have me thinking about the
what-should-bes and the what-could-have-beens. “Honestly Shane, I just want him
to be happy, maybe it’s not meant for us to be together.”

“Sometimes
we McBride and Jackson Family have a hard time following our hearts until the
last moment. You heard about Austin and Farrah’s love story, Jasmine and mine
and eventually you will hear about Hank and yours’ story too.”

Kari
brushed imaginary lint from her jeans, her gaze downcast as she spoke. “I just
want to forget.”

***

“What
the hell are you doing here?” Hank yelled, storming into the house.

Natalie
sat on the sofa reading one of Kari’s interior design magazines. “Why sugar, I
came home to my
husband
.”

For
months Hank tried to prepare himself for when his wife would come walking back
into his life. Earlier when he walked into the house, his heart quickened for a
second when he heard Natalie’s voice. When he walked into the house this
morning and heard Natalie and Kari arguing his heart quicken for a split second
with joy.

“You
didn’t answer my question,” he spat, looking directly in those green eyes he
fell in love with. “Did your boy toy drop you like a sack of potatoes?”

Natalie
put down the magazine and stood, within a few steps she was standing directly
in front of Hank. She lifted his arm up and kissed the palm of his hand. “I
love you.”

Hank
pulled his hand away from her mouth roughly. “Why?” he asked again in a harsh
tone.

Natalie
appeared hurt, fat crocodile tears rolled down her face. “I thought I was
bored, I thought there was something better out there for me. I was wrong!” she
cried, running towards him.

Hank
tried to pull her away from him; he could feel her tears wetting his shirt.
“Get off me.”

“Baby,
I’m sorry,” she said, kissing his face. “I promise I won’t cheat on you again.”

“Why?”
he asked, looking her squarely in her eyes.

“I
didn’t realize how much I loved you until I lost you, please take me back…I
promise I won’t let you down again. I was such a fool!” Natalie said as she
dropped to the floor and wrapped her arms around his legs.

The
moment he wanted Natalie to see what she destroyed had come. Now she knew how
it felt to be hurt. “You need to live with the consequences of you unmindful
actions. You have broken my trust.”

Natalie’s
face was a mess, her hair was a mess, dried blood on her cheek and black
mascara running down her face. “I can earn it back,” she sniffled.

Hank
ran his finger through his hair. “Natalie, didn’t you see that trust is a
fragile thing and it takes a lot to regain.” He looked at the woman who his life
used to revolve around, when she left him a few months ago, his life was still
revolving around Natalie, it revolved around the pain and grief she left him
with. Damn, every day when his feet hit the floor he had to deal with the
memories they shared.

“Kari
was just a void to fulfill you while I was gone,” Natalie sighed. “I want us to
go to counseling to work out our problems.”

Detangling
himself from Natalie, Hank moved away from her. Grabbing his hat from off the
floor, he walked out the house. His mind was telling him to go back into the
house and talk to Natalie, but his heart on the other hand told him to move on
and follow Kari back to Nashville.  He so desperately wanted to believe that
you either love someone, in some way, forever, or you never really loved them
at all.

Chapter Ten

One Week
Later

Kari
laid in bed thinking about her plans for today; she was just about finish with
the McBride’s Nashville nursery. Today was her first day setting foot on the
McBride’s ranch since arriving back from Dallas. It would be a lie if she said,
she hadn’t thought about Hank once or that she didn’t cry for him.

Rita
told her a few days ago to welcome the pain which kept her breathing. With her
breakup with Hank she didn’t have time to have wet pillows, sleepless nights,
bitterness or anger. Her work was her salvation. If he wanted to go back to
woman, he broke his heart the first time. She loved herself and there was no
way she was going to become bitter because of some man. Don’t get her wrong, it
was hard thinking about Hank and Natalie kissing and hugging, the thought of
them together made her want to vomit.

 She
remembered the ride to Memphis from Nashville, Hank talked about learning
lessons from the past and having no regrets.  Her lesson from the past was she that
allowed people actions to cause her misery and she wouldn’t allow that happen
to her anymore. After her break-up with Sam, she turned into this person she
hated because of her pained love for him.

Rising
up from the bed, she walked to the bathroom and took a long hot shower. For a
week she managed to be happy in pain. “I’ll be happy for him,” she said to
herself as she dried off her body. “I can be happy for someone even if his
happiness doesn’t involve me.”  

Before
heading to Southern Hearts Ranch, Kari went to a Salvation Army Store to donate
the clothes that Hank purchased for her. She sat in the car for what seem like
an hour, until she got the courage to walk inside to drop off the location. 
But now as she stood outside the McBride’s house, Kari looked down at her feet
at the brown leather riding boots she wasn’t able to part with. They held the
memories of her morning and evening nighttime riding on Princess with Hank. She
couldn’t just make herself forget that she loved him.

“Kari,
I said that I could have implement your designs,” Corey said standing next to
her.

Pushing
her hair behind her ear, she turn and smiled weakly at Corey, “It’s okay today
is our last day and we’re only in the staging part.”  Kari reached into the trunk
of her car and pulled out a few boxes and marched up the steps.
Today was
going to be a long day
, she said to herself.

The
door swung open, and Austin McBride stood there awkwardly staring at her. “Good
morning. Here, let me help you with the box.”

“Thank
you,” she said, walking into the foyer. Her body tensed up when she heard his
laughter coming from the kitchen down the hall.

“Hank
just delivered the cribs. I must say your designs did no justice for the finished
project,” Austin said, fumbling over his words as he carried the box up the
stairs.

“Thank
you,” she said again as she looked back at her best friend who cleared his
throat and nodded towards her head. “No,” her voice was low, enough for Corey.

“Why
don’t you go talk to him?” Corey asked when Austin disappeared downstairs.

“And
say what?” she mumbled.

“That
you love him. If you don’t tell him I will,” Corey said, sitting the box on the
floor. Corey had a tendency to be slightly roguish.

“If
he loved me, he wouldn’t have left me,” she sneered. “I’m done, I just want to
close this chapter in my life and move on.”

“He
brought out the best in you, a part of you that I never see. A love story
between you guys that is designed for a motion picture.”

Kari
laughed. “Stop watching those teeny bop movies.” She climb onto of the 14 feet
step ladder and started draping white satin curtains on the wall where the
cribs would go. Her white and warm brown color choice for the walls made the
room fill bigger than it was. All the furniture in the nursery was custom made,
from the cribs, bedding, rugs, table and chairs.

“Wouldn’t
it be dreamy to have a love story like the characters from the ‘Notebook’,” Corey
said dreamily, putting matching brown pillows on the nook by the window.

“You
do know the Notebook is about two fictional characters, I-”

“I-what?”
Corey asked, he followed Kari’s line of sight to the Hank standing in the
doorway.

“What
the hell are you doing?” Hank questioned, looking at up her on the ladder.

Kari
rolled her eyes and continued to drape the ceiling so it could flow onto the
wall.

“Get
down here now,” Hank said, walking over the 14 feet long metal ladder.

Kari
looked over at Corey who was grinning like a loon. “Now he worries about me,”
she said looking down at him. “I have done this plenty of times.”

“Technically
Kari you always used one of the-” Corey stopped talking when Kari gave him the
evil eyes that put fear in his heart.

“No,
Kari. Call someone else to do that,” Hank started to complain. “Corey! Why
didn’t you stop her?”

“Hank,
I’m perfectly capable of climbing a ladder.” Kari said, trying to reassure her
ex. “FYI you should be worrying about your wife and not me.”

“Damn,”
Corey said, trying not to laugh.

“It
doesn’t look safe, Kari, and seriously those leather riding boots have no
grip,” Hank said, continuing to argue.

 Kari
looked at Hank in shock. “For the love of God! Don’t you have a freaking cow to
milk?”

***

“Kari.” Hank could tell that she was having a hard
time balancing her feet on the wobbly and squeaky ladder.

“You’re making me nervous.”

“No, you’re making me nervous,” Hank replied. He
watched as Kari leaned forward with an electric drill in her hand.

Hank immediately sensed something bad was about to
happen.

Squeak

“Kari.”

Squeaak

“Enough,
Kari! Get down now,” he yelled.

“I’m
almost have the first row of rods in…” Kari choose at that moment to step down
and miss the step. Kari let out a blood curling scream. Hank caught Kari as she
fell on top of him, sending them both to the ground. Kari laid on top of Hank,
her head on his chest. Footsteps came running up the stairs.

“Shit,
Kari! You could have killed yourself,” Hank said in anger, and started to move.

“Oh
my god,” Corey said, kneeling down next to them. “Are you guys okay?”

“Please
don’t move,” Kari moaned in pain.

When
he heard her cry of pain, Hank heart nearly stopped. “What’s wrong?”

“Hank!
Kari!” Austin said rushing into the room.

“I
think she’s hurt,” Hank said. “Baby, tell me where it hurts.”

“We
need to get her to the hospital,” Austin said.

“Maybe
we should just call an ambulance, my boyfriend is a paramedic he always says
don’t move someone who’s been hurt.”

 “Aaah,
shut up Corey!” Kari screamed as tears rolled down her face.

Hank
lifted Kari’s face to his. “I’m going to change our position,” he said, rolling
them over so Kari was lying on her back.  Hank braced his weight on his arms,
blood flowed from the side of her head where there was a large gash.  “Corey
can you get something so we can put pressure on it.”

“Kari,
can you sit up?” Austin asked.

When
she nodded her head. Hank helped her up in a sitting position.

“Let’s
get you to the hospital, can you stand?” Hank asked, standing up. They both helped
Kari stand up, but she fell back down on the ground crying.

“Take
her to the hospital,” Austin said, looking at his cousin.

Within
seconds Hank swept her up in his arms. Kari hesitantly put her arms around his
neck, and put her face in the crook of his neck.

“Corey
called the contractor and will have him come finish hanging up the drapes,
finish setting up the room and video call me when you’re done,” Kari said as
Hank carried her out the room.

***

After
arriving at the emergency room, Kari sat on the uncomfortable exam room table
waiting for the doctor. She told Hank ten times that he could leave but he
wouldn’t budge, tapping her fingers impatiently on the plastic mattress.

“I
should have listened to you,” she said, causing him to look at her again. “Thank
you for catching me.”

“I
will always catch you when you fall.” He looked down at his black cowboy hat in
his hands. “Are you mad at me?”

“What
type of question is that?” she asked. “Let’s move on from this there is no
reason why we should have to keep reflecting on what happened.” Kari was
becoming uncomfortable by the way he was staring at her.

Hank
walked over to her, he lifted his hand and caressed the side of her cheek. She
turned her head and planted a kiss on his hand. “I still love...” he was about
to say something before a mid-aged Spanish guy walked into the room, wearing a
lab coat.

“Ahem,”
the doctor said. “Ms. Hayes?” he asked. “I’m Doctor Velez.”

“Yes!”
Kari said a little too excitedly, she needed the distraction that the doctor
caused.

“Let’s
take a look at your foot.” Dr. Velez sat down on a stool and gingerly lifted
Kari’s foot up. “Nice pedicure,” he said as he admired the ladybug toenails.

“How’s
the foot, doctor?” Hank put a hand on Kari’s shoulder so the man could get the
drift.

“Oh
yeah,” he said clearing his throat, “I’ll have a nurse take you for an x-ray.” He
left the room leaving Kari and Hank alone.

“Before
you say something crazy,” she took a deep breath. There wasn’t one ounce of
hatred in her nor did she wish him bad. Hank used to mean the world to her.

“I’m
looking for my husband! I was told he was here.”

Kari
blinkingly stared at Hank as the door to room was push open widely causing it
to the hit the door with a bang.

“Jesus
darling, I came a running when I heard the news are you okay?” Natalie asked
checking Hank over.

Hank
kept his eyes glued on Kari. “Yeah,” he snatched his arm away from Natalie. “Kari
fell from the ladder.”

“Oh
okay,” Natalie said, completely dismissing Kari. “Well, you’re not her husband,
so you shouldn’t be here.”

“Natalie-”

“Don’t
worry about it,” Kari said quickly, she didn’t need Natalie to tell Hank to
leave. “Ya’ll can leave, I’m pretty sure this is nothing serious.”

Natalie
was already pulling Hank towards the door. “You heard that Hank, obviously she’s
okay and doesn’t need your help.”

He
wasn’t budging from the spot in front of her. “Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yeah,”
Kari replied with her signature fake smile. 

“I’ll
check on you later,” Hank said, disappearing behind the door with his wife.

Kari
thought she was over him, but after her latest debacle today and Hank coming to
her rescue. “Shit,” she cursed under her breath, all those breakup exercises
that she Googled online didn’t help, not one little bit.

All
she gathered from today was how much she was still deeply in love with Hank.
Kari admired his face, the body she used to hold and be held by, eyes that
peered into hers. Today her soul and body was put back under that love spell
that she wanted to snap out of.

***

On
the drive back to the ranch, Hank kept peering over to Natalie, who sat there
silent as a mouse. He could tell that she wanted to talk to him about Kari, she
always wanted to talk about the woman who stole his heart. By them returning
back to Nashville, they both awkwardly slipped back into their normal routine.
He worked on around the ranch hard to keep his mind busy and off of Kari. There
were plenty of nights where he left the house and went to Kari’s house and sat
there trying to find the nerves to talk to her after the incident in Dallas.

Natalie
came back home as if nothing had ever happen, as if she didn’t leave him for
another man. She said that a day without him made her realize what she was
giving up. That daze that blinded him for months cleared away, like fog
dissipating when the sun shines so brightly. He remembered the night Natalie
returned, they’d stood in the middle of the living room talking and crying.

“You
haven’t dumped her?” Natalie said, looking over at him with her arms folded.

“What?”
he asked.

“You
needed to break it off with Ms. Hayes, for good,” Natalie sneered. “I see the
way ya’ll look at each other.”

Hank
gripped the steering wheel harder. “It’s over between Kari and me.”

“It
better be! I’m working my ass off to show you that I have changed.” She reached
over and held his hand. “I just want us to move on from this, so we can
continue on with our life.”

Hank
didn’t respond. He pressed his foot on the gas pedal. “It’s not going to happen
overnight.”