Biker's Bride: A Bad Boy Romance (Demons MC) (Includes bonus novel Kinged!) (34 page)

“Hey, kiddo,” I said when she answered.

“What’s up, Darce?”

“Look, I need a little girls’ night. Maybe some ice cream and Sex in the City?”

“That’s the most cliché thing I’ve ever heard.”

I laughed. “I know, okay. How about wine and Jerry Springer reruns?”

“Perfect. When?”

“Tonight, if you can?”

There was a pause. “Sounds good to me. I’ll see you at your place?”

“Come over at seven.”

“See you then.”

After she hung up, I reflected on that pause. I guessed she was asking Shane for permission, but that wasn’t fair. Their relationship was much more complex than I originally realized, and because I was becoming much more familiar with complex relationships, I decided I needed to cut her some slack. Shane was a difficult man to be with, even if every inch of him was dedicated to making Amy happy. His privacy issues may have been intense, but I was sure he had his reasons. More than that, I didn’t know what it was like to live in his world. She was probably checking in with him, which was just a normal part of a regular relationship, and not some crazy controlling thing.

I had been with my fair share of guys, but I’d had very few serious, long-term boyfriends. My longest was a year, but just barely, and that didn’t end well. I didn’t know what I wanted most of the time. People often thought my indecision was flightiness, but really I was looking for something I was sure of. I was tired of settling for men who didn’t move me and make me bend in every way in my need for them. I was sick of finding the “good enough” and the “close but not quite.” I wanted the all-out, the man who I wanted to lay in bed with for days mainlining his body like a drug, unable to get enough. I wanted the love that didn’t fade, but changed into something more mature and powerful. Maybe I was finding that with Rex, or maybe his incredibly hot body distracted me from reality. I wasn’t sure, but I wanted to find out. If only he would let me. So far, our encounters were crystals of intimacy, glittery and flinty, but compressed. They shattered as soon as he disappeared again.

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A
my showed up at seven on the dot. She climbed out of Shane’s black town car, and I buzzed her up into my apartment. She was radiant as usual, her smile huge, her skin healthy, and I found myself feeling truly jealous for the first time since she started dating Shane. If that was what happened when you were in a fully-satisfying relationship, it was what I wanted, too.

I poured us two glasses of red wine and we collapsed on my couch in my living room slash bedroom slash kitchen.

“You’re probably not used to tiny apartments anymore,” I said, laughing.

“Actually, I still have my apartment.”

That surprised me. As far as I knew, she was living with Shane full-time. Was that an indication of a chink in the armor?

“Really? Why?”

She shrugged and sipped her drink. “I’m not sure, honestly. I guess I keep it out of habit. I go back maybe once every other week and make sure it hasn’t burned down.”

“Must be nice to have a one-bedroom walk-in closet.”

“Sure beats living in one.”

I laughed. “Hey, this is cozy, and all I could find on short notice.”

“I know. I actually like it, if I’m honest. I never was big on fancy space.”

I looked around. I liked my tiny apartment, too. I was used to cramped places, coming from New York. I could afford bigger and better, but the location was fantastic. I was comfortable there, even if it wasn’t the most high-end spot in the world. I had always been that way, finding what feels right and sticking with it. The hard part was always finding that right thing to begin with.

“How’s the wedding planning going?” I asked, changing the subject.

“It’s going pretty well.” She paused then sipped her drink. “Actually, it’s not happening.”

“What’s the matter? Are you okay?”

“Oh no,” Amy said quickly. “That came out wrong. I meant, the planning isn’t happening yet.”

I laughed. “I thought there was trouble in paradise.”

She shook her head. “No, things between Shane and me are great. It’s just that, planning a wedding with him is impossible. He wants something incredibly private, but that’s really limiting our choices. I think we’ll end up eloping.”

“Elope! That’d be awesome! Although, I would love to see a fancy Shane Green wedding.”

She sighed and leaned her head on my shoulder.  “It’s a balancing game. I’ll figure it out eventually.”

“Yeah, kiddo, you will. And ask me for anything you need.”

She sat back up and downed her drink. “How’s your man, by the way?”

I was dreading that conversation. I didn’t want to talk to Amy about Rex because I knew she didn’t approve, but I also wanted to spill every detail. Like she said, it was a balancing game.

“I haven’t heard from him in a few days, actually.”

She got up and refilled her glass. “Why’s that?”

“I’m not sure. He got a call about some job during our last date, or whatever it was, then disappeared.” I knocked my drink back, trying to keep up.

“Think things are okay?”

I shook my head. “I really don’t know. He talked about not seeing me anymore because he thinks it’s too dangerous, but I thought I talked him out of that idea.”

“I just want you to be happy,” Amy said.

I stood up and joined her in the kitchen. I refilled my drink, and then held it up for a toast.

“Here’s to being happy.” Amy laughed, and we clinked glasses.

“So, what are you going to do if you don’t hear from him?” Amy asked.

I shrugged. “I really don’t know. I don’t want to be a psycho stalker, but I don’t want him to ditch out on me, either.”

“Yeah, I hear you. Please don’t turn into a psycho stalker.”

I laughed. “Maybe I’ll turn up at his apartment with a boom box playing sappy love songs until he comes out.”

“Great idea. Guys love that.”

I turned away and flopped back onto the couch, careful not to spill my wine. What if he didn’t call me? I was starting to think that was a real option, but I had no clue how I’d react. I knew he was interested in me, or at least it seemed like he was. I couldn’t imagine he would break ties because he didn’t want to see me anymore. If he were trying to protect me, I’d have to show him that I could handle myself.

Amy joined me on the couch, and turned the TV on. She flipped through some channels before stopping on the reality TV show about female wrestlers. It was starting to become our go-to trashy option.

“Why do we fall for complicated men?” she said softly.

I snuggled up against her. It suddenly felt exactly like college. There we were, sitting on the couch together drinking wine and watching bad TV while talking about boys. The nostalgia of the moment hit me hard, even though we were only a year out of school.

“They’re always the ones worth trying for,” I said. I realized how much I meant it, too. I had been with my fair share of nice, normal guys over the years, but it wasn’t until Rex that I really felt like fighting for something.

“I wish relationships could be free and easy all the time,” she said.

“Me too, kiddo. Unfortunately, you decided to fall in love with a reclusive billionaire.”

She grinned. “I guess it’s not all that bad.”

“Not at all. Meanwhile, my ex-druggie whatever-he-is won’t call me, maybe because he’s been beaten to death somewhere, or maybe because he just doesn’t want to see me anymore.”

She wrapped her arm around me, concern etched in her face. “It’s going to be okay, Darce, I promise. He’ll call.”

“Yeah, maybe he will.”

“And if he doesn’t, I’ll use Shane’s money to hunt him down.”

I laughed. “I’m sure that’s exactly what Shane wants to use his money for, hunting down his brother’s old crime partner or whatever they were.”

“Oh, he won’t even notice a few thousand missing.”

“Probably not. Must be rough.”

She laughed.  “You know it isn’t about the money, right?”

“Seriously, what is it about?” I looked up at her, wondering.

She was quiet for a moment.

“It’s about him, who he is,” she said. “It’s about the way he walks into a room and makes me feel. It’s the, I don’t know, the energy he puts out. It’s confident and strong, but there’s so much more to him. He gets me, he laughs at my jokes, and he makes me feel special. It’s everything about him. If he were poor, I would still love him.”

I understood what she was saying. Part of that was how I felt about Rex, but I couldn’t be in love with him, not yet. Still, the way Rex walked into a room, his confidence and his poise, the way my body felt beneath his, everything about him made me want more. I was used to being denied things and having to work hard for what I wanted, and I was used to feeling shame and fear. Rex took those feelings away from me. During our brief time together, I never once thought about my father rotting away in jail, or my mother working hard for scraps. I never wondered if she was really a psychic or not, because I was too busy wondering how Rex could read my body like a map. I understood what Amy was saying because Rex took a lot of my pain away.

“I want to feel like that,” I said.

She smiled and fake punched my arm. “You will, don’t worry.”

We lapsed into silence, but the seed of something began to form itself in my mind. It wasn’t exactly a plan, or at least it wasn’t a plan yet, but it was an idea. I had to see him again, or at least I had to get closure from him. I wasn’t the crazy type, but something about him was too powerfully magnetic for me to ignore. As we sat in silence and watched the wrestling girls cry and beat each other up, I imagined Rex somewhere out in the city, fighting for his life.

L
ater that night, after Amy left, I took out my phone and typed a message.
Haven’t heard from you in a few days, I would love to see you again
. I stood around, slightly drunk on wine, debating whether or not I should send it for maybe twenty minutes. I agonized over the wording, and worried that it might sound too formal. I even considered adding some emoji. I hated that I was suddenly the indecisive type, worrying over what a boy would think, but I couldn’t help it. I was deep into something I had no power over. It swept me through and passed what felt normal, into another place entirely. In the end, I braced myself and hit send.

There was no response that night, or the following day. I half expected something, and kept checking my phone over and over. But there was only silence from Rex, and his silence blossomed a thousand more questions in my mind. Each question spawned another, until I felt like I was in a spiral of confusion and anger. I hated that I was acting like an angst-ridden teenager. I wasn’t used to pining for a man like that, and I had no idea how to force myself back into a normal mindset.

Monday came around, and I went into work like always. But I felt off, distracted, and my work seemed to pile up around me as I struggled to stay afloat. Marissa droned on like usual, and I didn’t even bother with my usual half-hearted responses. That didn’t seem to deter her one bit, though.

As the day wore on, my resolve began to strengthen. I had a plan, although I knew my plan was absolutely insane. Still, Rex was leaving me no choice. I felt like we had unfinished business somehow, like he had been pulled away from me in the middle of an important transaction. I left something with him, and I needed it back. Even if I was tracking him down for closure, at least that closure was better than total silence.

It was crazy and reckless, but I was going to Drake’s that night. I wanted to sit at the bar, have a few drinks, and wait for him. Maybe he would show, or maybe he wouldn’t, but I guessed his people would tell him about me. Word would get back to him.

It was a great plan.

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A
fter work that night, I rushed home and changed. I put on old converse sneakers, white ankle socks, a high-waisted mini-skirt, and an old crop-top band T-shirt. I was going for grungy chic, and I thought I pulled it off. Better to try and blend in with the Drake’s crowd, at least. Plus, it was Monday, not exactly a dressed-to-the-nines sort of night.

In the cab on the way over to Drake’s, I was terrified. I realized I had no clue if Rex would be around, let alone want to see me. He had warned me to stay away from the bar, that it would be dangerous for me. But I had already been there twice, and it was fine both of those times. Maybe that was because he had been with me. Worst-case scenario, I’d run into Michael and his goons. If that happened, I’d get out of there as fast as I could. Otherwise, I was in it for the long haul. My plan was to sit at the bar and ignore everyone around me. Hopefully, Rex would show up, and I could talk to him. If he didn’t want to see me, then that would be the closure I needed. I’d be disappointed, maybe even a little sad, but I could at least start to move on.

I paid the driver and tipped him, then made my way down the block toward the bar. I felt a brief moment of relief when I saw nobody lurking outside the dimly lit front door, and it seemed quieter than normal. I stood out front for a minute, gathering myself together. It was completely insane and irresponsible, but I had been feeling insane and irresponsible for a while. That night was one more way I could try and make myself feel alive, the way I felt when I was with Rex. After a few deep breaths, I pushed the beat up front door open and walked into the room.

It was pretty empty inside. There were a few people sitting in stools around the bar, and one couple sitting in a booth. Otherwise, it was quiet as I made my way up to my usual spot. I sat down, put my small clutch on the bar top, and ordered a whiskey and Coke. The place looked the way it always had: dimly lit, pool tables, slightly dirty. Nobody even bothered to look up at me, which was good. The bartender returned with my drink, and I sipped it as I flipped through my phone.

I knew I was in the heart of enemy territory, although I had a hard time really grasping that. Rex wanted to get away from those people, and continually told me how dangerous they were, and yet I hadn’t seen anything to prove that. Really, Drake’s seemed like a pretty tame, boring local bar. It was true that Michael had creeped me out, but it’s not like he was being aggressive. Okay, honestly, he had terrified me. But still, he hadn’t done anything exactly to deserve that response.