Beyond Eighteen (20 page)

“
Oh, I see,” she
hummed.

I looked at the stairs before looking at
Wilson again. She was turning a shade past pale, and I noticed her
nervous habit of pulling at her lip had changed to biting and
rolling it between her teeth. “Pam, I’m going to have to call you
back in a minute.”

“
No problem, sweetie, just
call me when you can. And please tell your family I’m thinking
about them.”

“
Thanks, I appreciate
that,” I stated, not waiting for her to respond before ending the
call.

“
What’s going on,
Wilson?”

She released her plump lip from between her
perfectly straight white teeth and said, “It’s not a big deal.”

“
What’s not a big
deal?”

Wilson avoided looking me in the eyes as she
answered, “Joanie isn’t going back to California with me.”

“
What? Hold on, what did
you just say?”

Wilson looked straight into my eyes.

“
Max, it’s not a big
deal.”

“
Joanie isn’t going home
with you?” I croaked, a little more harshly than I’d intended. I
didn’t like where this was going. I didn’t want Wilson to have to
face those lawyers alone. “Well, shit, that isn’t going to work,” I
spat as I started to pace the entryway.

“
Max, come on, I can
handle flying by myself. I’m a big girl, you know.”

“
It doesn’t have to do
with you being able to fly home or not. Wilson, I don’t want you to
have to go deal with the lawyers all alone.” The muscles across my
chest started to tighten. I couldn’t breathe deeply enough to erase
the pure frustration I had boiling in my body. There was nothing I
could kick or punch hard enough to make me feel okay with anything
Wilson had just told me. My jaw began to ache with pressure from
grinding my teeth to keep from saying some pretty choice
words.

“
Well, it’s just the way
it is. It isn’t forever. J will be flying back a couple of days
after me. Besides, if I’m okay with it…then, you should be too,”
Wilson said as she reached up and wrapped her hands around the back
of my head. I stood rigid and tall, not willing to bend. She pushed
up on her tiptoes to kiss me. Of course, once her lips brushed
against mine, her magic took over. My muscles relaxed and I leaned
into kissing her. It’s hard to stay seriously pissed or frustrated
when someone so beautiful decides to kiss me. I slipped my arms
around the small of her back and pulled her in tight.

I dragged my lips across her warm cheek. I
felt her shiver as I pressed my mouth against her ear. “This
doesn’t change the fact that I’m totally pissed that Joanie and I
won’t be there for you,” I whispered.

“
Well, babe, sometimes we
have to do things we don’t want to do,” she countered in a low,
brawly tone.

“
Well, I don’t really
believe that. What the hell is keeping Joanie from going with you,
anyway?” I responded without thinking. The words just rolled off my
tongue. Wilson’s body stiffened as she stared at me. She thrust her
hands against my chest, pushing me away, before slamming her hand
against her hip. She didn’t have to say a word; the look on her
face said everything.

Damn it, I’ve offended
her
.

“
Well, I’m sorry you don’t
believe me,” she spat.

“
It’s not like that. You
know what I mean.” I reached out for her, but she wasn’t giving me
a chance.

“
Do I, Max?” she responded
in a cheeky tone. “I didn’t tell J you weren’t going. I didn’t want
her to change her plans for me.”

“
What plans? I thought she
came here to be with you! What plans are more important than going
home with her best friend?” I asked. Her words seemed to come from
out of left field. Wasn’t it just yesterday that Joanie was
protecting Wilson?

“
Well, her plans changed,”
Wilson said as she looked down at the floor, adding “What am I
supposed to do? She’s fallen for
him
.”

“
Who’s ‘him?’” I asked,
knowing full well who she was talking about. I felt every muscle in
my body constrict. My breathing became weak as I swallowed every
word that wanted to fly from my mouth.

“
Nick,” she
whispered.

“
Are you fucking kidding
me? You’ve gotta be kidding me! Of all people…I can’t believe she’s
blowing you off for that asshole!”
She
knows what happened. How can she be with that snake? I never saw
this coming. Joanie would never flake on Wilson like
that.

“
She’s not blowing me off,
Max. I kinda told her to go for it.”

“
Are you forgetting that
he tried to keep us apart? I mean, he lied to you and took
advantage of you. He’s lucky I didn’t fuck him up more than I did,”
I said as I came toward her.

She pushed her hands against my chest again,
keeping a barrier between us.

“
Max, don’t act this way.
This isn’t really just about who J is spending her time with.
You’re right, Nick is an asshole, but don’t take it out on J. It
isn’t her fault. This is about the fact that you can’t go
with
me
to the
Bay Area. We could have never imagined how this trip was going to
turn out.”

She tried to push me away, but I wouldn’t
let her. Every time she stopped me from wrapping my arms around her
it only made me more determined to get her in my embrace. I needed
to hold her, make her see that I was only concerned about her.

I smiled at her, trying to let her know I
totally understood what she’s saying. I tilted my head and gave her
my “forgive me” eyes. Damn, if it didn’t work like a charm…

She stopped fighting me and surrendered to
my embrace. I tightened my arms around the small of her back as I
pulled her body in close to mine. I could feel her heart slamming
in her chest and her muscles letting go of the tension that filled
their fibers.

“
I can’t handle this. I
need to find a way to go back to California…with you,” I said
before pressing my lips to hers.

Wilson pulled away and dropped her forehead
against my chest. She exhaled gruffly as I felt her warm breath
pierce through my shirt, and as if it was synchronized, within
seconds her entire body caved against mine, surrendering to the
fact that there was nothing we could do to change our fate.
Tomorrow she was going to board a plane back to California without
me.

~ Wilson ~

I wasn’t about to tell Max that I scared
shitless and that I really didn’t want to fly back to the Bay Area
without him. It wasn’t that I couldn’t handle doing it, or even
that I had to face my grandparents’ lawyers on my own. I was scared
to spend five months away from him. A lot can happen in five
months, and even though I was totally aware that Max loved me, and
when I rationalized my thoughts, it didn’t make sense to be scared;
but there was still this needling, small voice in the back of my
head telling me that he would move on. A low, rumbling voice that
told me that, somewhere in the scheme of all things, he would
finally wake up and see that I wasn’t worth waiting for.
Irrational, I know; but nonetheless, the thought was still there in
the back of my head.

“Max? You need to come back to the meeting,”
I heard Camille bellow from the great room. Max looked at me, his
eyes mirroring every feeling that was swirling in my gut. I didn’t
want to let him go, and he didn’t want to leave; but when family
called, he had to answer. I swallowed all the disappointment
building in my body.

“You’d better go. I’ll make sure my bags are
in order,” I mumbled as I pulled away from him. Max caught my hand
and stopped me from walking away. He caressed his finger under my
chin, urging me to look up at him. His eyes searched for every
answer, and the edges of his lips curved and curled as he grappled
with the promises he wished he could keep. I closed my eyes as his
fingers pushed my hair out of my face.

“Whatever I have to do, I’ll make sure to
get to you as fast as I can. Three days, tops. I will not be
separated from you for five months. That’s just not an option for
me,” Max whispered as I opened my eyes. He leaned in slowly, almost
hesitantly, and kissed me sensually. His lips traced down my cheek
and across to my mouth before he nibbled at my bottom lip. He
kissed me like he was memorizing every last piece of that moment.
His lips were moist enough to generate electricity between us. His
eyes almost shut as he pulled away just enough to whisper “I love
you” before he continued to passionately kiss me.

I felt my eyes fill with tears. My throat
tightened, and even though I wanted to keep kissing him like that
forever, my lips quivered at the thought of having to be separated
from him. Just when we found our way back to one another, God
decided to play a cruel joke and yank us apart. I felt the warm
tears trace down my cheeks as they became replaced by cold, wet
lines of defeat. Max wrapped his hands around my face and his
fingers tangled in my hair as his thumbs wiped away my tears.

“I’m sorry,” I choked as Max pulled me into
a tight embrace.

“Shhhh, listen to me…I will fix this. I
promise, don’t worry,” Max slipped his hand around my head and
pushed me against his chest.

“Max! We are waiting…” Camille hollered
again.

“I’d better go back. I just got up and left
the meeting. I couldn’t take it any longer. Didn’t want to hear
another word about what my father expects from me,” Max said with
his lips pushing against the top of my head. I grabbed the back of
his black t-shirt in fistfuls, trying to pull him closer to me.
Whether it was just a notion in my head or a belief that I had, I
couldn’t be the one to let go first this time. I just buried my
face in his chest and inhaled his aroma—it was the scent of a cold
winter morning in Aspen mixed with a warm summer evening in
California.

“Baby,” Max mumbled as he caressed his hands
against my cheeks and urged me to pull back from him. “You know you
are my everything,” he said as his eyes danced.

“I know. It’s all going to work out. You
need to go. Remember…I trust you.”

My head knows exactly what needs to
happen, it’s just my heart…I can’t seem to get past the idea of
spending time without you.
I looked down at the front of his
t-shirt and noticed my tears had soaked random spots across his
chest. Max pulled up on my chin and pressed his inviting lips to
mine.

“My heart belongs to you,” he whispered. I
pushed myself so intensely against him, it caused him to shuffle
back a couple of steps.
God, I love kissing him.
No matter
how long we’re apart, I will never get spooked again.

“Max…Oh! Hi, Wilson. Sorry to interrupt. We
really need to finish up with Dad’s will,” Camille said as she
stood in the doorway of the dining room. She looked worn out. Her
face was pale and sunken with red splotches just below her
cheekbones. Her normally glossy hair was dull and disheveled. She
looked worse than the day her father died.

“Nothing like listening to my father’s
wishful thinking,” Max sighed breathily. Camille heard this and
rolled her eyes. Max turned, heading to the great room and I spun
around and started upstairs.

“Wait, Wilson, aren’t you coming with us?”
Camille’s voice floated toward me.

“No, I have to get back to California. I’m
leaving in the morning, so I need to make sure I’m all packed.” I
noticed Max had stopped at the entry of the dining room when I
heard him mumble something to his sister about wanting this to be
over.

“Max, you need to accept what Dad has given
you. Dan would kill for that position,” Camille spat as she walked
past him and slapped him across the shoulder.

“Well, he won’t have to wrestle me for the
job. Gary will find the loophole and Dan can just have it.”

I don’t know how I could be so torn. I
wanted him to come with me, be with me, and follow his dreams; and
yet, I ached that he wasn’t going to do what his father wanted him
to do. It was the small, hidden place I filled with all the
what-ifs that started to drown me. The game I played in my head my
whole life.
What if I knew my bio-dad? What if Candi never gave
me up? What if my grandparents were still alive? What if I leave
and Max never comes back to California?
I had a pit in my
stomach.
God, I hate the what-if game.

I watched Max and Camille saunter through
the doorway, pushing and picking on each other. They both were
dealing something I’m sure they didn’t expect to have to face so
soon in their lives. I stood for a lengthy second before I turned
up the stairs and climbed my way to Max’s room.

My legs felt heavy, my arms longer than they
seemed. My fingers tightened around the doorknob as I pushed into
the bedroom. Max’s aroma floated across my skin and roused my
senses. Lavender with sultry pine swirled down my throat and
settled just below my gut. I noticed the white dress shirt he wore
earlier dangling off the top handle of his dresser and his black
dress pants folded nicely on top, and in that instant, a moment of
total freedom flooded my soul. It was as if I was already home with
him, and comfort crowded out the fear of being without him. His
words from before, purging any idea of being separated longer than
three days, rang loud in my head. It was as if what he told me
finally sunk in and my mind somehow decided to process it.

I reached out and let my fingers dance up to
the collar of Max’s dress shirt. The cool, smooth fabric fueled my
senses as I plucked it off the handle, closed my eyes, and pressed
it against my nose. Unhurried, I inhaled every last remnant of Max
in Aspen. The silky, refreshing fabric brushed against my lips,
recreating every image of him pulling me tight against his chest. I
hummed a low, relaxed sigh as I exhaled against his shirt, warming
the fabric to match his body temperature. Moments measured by every
inhale and exhale against his shirt were filled with the image of
his smile, his eyes, and his arms and how they felt around me. I
pulled Max’s dress shirt from my face, held it out, and looked at
it as the image of him wearing it resonated in my mind.