Beyond Eighteen (12 page)

I felt the muscles in the back of my neck
tighten and blood flush across my face, and without any warning, I
felt jealous. Not that she had Max’s attention, or even that she
held a protective space in his heart. I envied that she had
brothers who would protect her so vehemently. How different my life
may have been if I had a sibling to protect me. Thank God I had
Joanie. She was the closest thing I would ever have to a
sister.

“It’s just their nature, I guess,” I
rebutted

“Yeah, well, their nature is getting old
quickly. I mean, did they honestly think Dan wouldn’t tell me about
my father’s decision? Like he could keep that away from me. You
know, it’s Calvin everyone should be worrying about,” Camille
roared.

I nodded. Though I didn’t really know how to
react to her rant. I truly didn’t know if she was aware that Max
was going to be named CEO of GP.
God, this is the part of
knowing secrets that I hate.

“Well, we will see how Cal does tomorrow
during the reading of the will. I mean, let’s face it, we all knew
my father wouldn’t name someone who wasn’t a Goldstein to run the
company; so, right there, Dan was out of the picture. And as much
as I loved my father, he still had that small piece of him that
believed where a woman’s place was.”

Instantly my stomach twisted into an aching
mess. Frank never came across to me as believing that. He seemed
like the type of guy who believed in equal rights.

“Your dad was that way?” I asked.

“Yeah, but don’t get me wrong. If I would
have pushed working for the company, he would have caved and let
me. But he always felt that nothing could ever replace a mom who
stays home to take care of her family,” Camille said trying to make
her dad not look so sexist.

“So that left Calvin and Max.”

“And let’s face it, Calvin isn’t really the
CEO material Dad was looking for,” Camille said in a snarky
tone.

“And he never would have chosen Dan?” I
interjected.

“Nope, he is—I mean was—stubborn that way,”
Camille added.

“Even if Dan was better qualified?”

“Dan is better qualified for the position.
But Dad, well, he was always set in his ways.”

My mouth grew dry, my throat parched. Every
thought of having Max ripped away from me while I finished school
landed heavily on me. It was like a freaking hungry lion decided to
sit on my chest, staring down at me, ready to rip off my head.

“And your mom—” I began to ask, trying to
keep from thinking about Max coming back without me.

“Has no idea about any of it. But it’s a lot
less painful for her, not knowing. But here you are, totally aware
that Max has no choice but to come back to Aspen without you,”
Camille croaked.

My eyes blurred with every cutting word that
poured from her mouth. Camille continued to speak. “And you just
got Max back…” She was totally unaware of the daggers she was
thrusting deep in my heart over and over again.

“Excuse me,” I spat as I shot up, forcing my
chair back, before I sped to the closest bathroom.

My whole body began to throb and my skin
swelled with a chilling dampness from my scalp down to the bottoms
of my feet. I didn’t want Max to leave me at school. I didn’t want
to wait five months to be with him again. I stood at the sink,
staring into the basin, wondering how I was going to handle being
the girl he had to leave back at school. My eyes were fringed with
tears.
I don’t want to cry. Damn it, I’m not going to cry
.
Instead I began to talk myself off the ledge of losing it.
Come
on, Wilson, pull it together. This is what having a family is
about. So what? What’s five months in a lifetime of forever? I love
him, deeper than I ever knew I could.
I pulled a tissue from
the box of Kleenex on the back of the toilet and wiped my eyes dry.
God, my eyes look like shit, my cheeks are frickin’ bright red.
Urrghh.
I fanned my hands in front of my face trying to erase
the redness that wouldn’t go away fast enough.

“Fuck it, time to face your family, Wilson,”
I whispered to myself. My heart leapt into my throat. The words
came out so automatically, almost thoughtlessly, like I’d been
saying them forever. Suddenly I felt what it was like to have a
family. And with a newfound warmth, I opened the door and went back
to the dining room.

“Hey, are you okay? I hope I didn’t upset
you,” Camille sighed.

“No, I’m fine.”

“Well, here you go!” Nancy sang, completely
unaware that I was just in the bathroom crying and Camille was the
one who upset me. She slipped a plate loaded with a gigantic piece
of lipsmacking, homemade mixed berry pie, perfectly topped with a
flawless half-circle scoop of vanilla bean ice cream. The sweet
aroma of the warm berries, mixed with my longing to taste it, made
my mouth water. My fork sank into the crumbling crust as it cut
through a sliver of the ice cream. Warm and cold mixed sinfully
with my taste buds.
God, she makes the best berry pie.
I
didn’t know if I’d be able to save any for Max.

“This is delicious, Ma—I mean, Nancy. Thank
you,” I hummed.

“Oh, darling, you are so welcome,” Nancy
answered as she handed Camille her plate. “I’m just so glad you are
home with us,” she continued before she came over and lovingly
pressed her hands across my shoulders.

“Me too,” I sang. Her eyes sparkled with a
familiar tenderness. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to save any of
this delicious pie for Max,” I teased.

“Well, Maxi has the entire other half of pie
in the kitchen,” Nancy retorted. “It used to be Frank and Maxi who
would fight over the last piece. I guess they—Maxi has no
competit—sorry,” Nancy choked as her eyes welled with tears.

I didn’t say anything to her, just got up
and went over and hugged her. Her small frame crumbled against mine
for a moment before she stiffened and collected herself. I felt her
body vibrate, like the shiver began in her heart and echoed through
every cell of her body.

“Well, I think we should find out what those
boys are up to. They’ve been talking business long enough,” Camille
said, breaking the thick, smothering air in the room. Nancy nodded
in agreement as she swiped a cloth napkin from the table and dabbed
her eyes.

“Well, you two go and find the boys. I’m
going to wrap up the pie in the kitchen and clear the table.”

“Nancy, let me help you clean this up,” I
offered, trying to pick up my plate from the table. Nancy snatched
the plate from my hands and shooed me, flapping the napkin at me
like it had some power to make me disappear out of the dining
room.

“Nonsense, you go on ahead, I’ll be there
momentarily.”

Camille clung to my arm and pulled me toward
the family room. I couldn’t help feeling guilty for leaving Nancy
to clean up dinner. But then again, maybe it was exactly what she
needed—a moment alone to cry or pull herself together.

“Wilson, that’s her mechanism for dealing
with stress. She cleans,” Camille groaned.

We went into the “Great Room,” as Max called
it, thinking they would be deep in discussions about topics
important enough to pull them away from Nancy’s mixed berry pie.
Well, they were there, paperwork spread across the green felt pool
table, with Dan and Calvin talking in a low rumble…but no Max.
Camille cleared her throat.

“Hey guys, time’s up.”

They looked up, their expressions worn and
tired. I noticed the muscles through the front of their necks
constrict and loosen, as if they were swallowing their words.

“Oh, hey, you’re already done with dessert?”
Dan asked as he pointed toward the kitchen.

“Yeah, we just wanted to come and see when
you guys were coming to have some berry pie,” Camille answered
instinctively.

“We’re done. Right, Cal?” Dan
volunteered.

“Good, because I think Mom is starting to
lose it. Where’s Max?” Camille asked almost like she was
irritated.

“He got a call or something; he said he’d be
right back. What do you mean lose it? Is she doing that cleaning
thing again?” Cal asked as he dragged his hand through his tousled
black hair. Dan looked over at Camille before collecting up the
papers they had spread across the pool table. I could’ve sworn I
saw his eyes dart toward the foyer.

I took advantage of their being in a thick
conversation about family matters to slip down the hall and toward
the stairs. If Max had an important call to take, he would’ve
either headed upstairs to his bedroom where it’s quiet or out into
the garage. I won’t lie, a huge part of me hoped he was up in his
room, but what I found wasn’t what I expected. Max wasn’t upstairs
in his room or out in the garage, he was in the foyer with the
front door sprung wide open and Emily Vaughn wrapped in his arms.
My heart crashed against my sternum, crumbing into a million
pieces. It plummeted into the darkest, deepest part of my gut. The
back of my neck became drenched with every fear that pushed through
my skin. Suddenly the tables turned and I was watching the man I
love more than anything being comforted by another woman.

I didn’t want Max to know I saw him so I
pushed my back tight against the wall between the stairs and where
they were. My shoulder blades ached from the texture of the wall,
my spine straightened by the fear of discovery. I couldn’t fold in
half, I couldn’t cry, all I could do was stand and take the
punishment for every fucked-up mistake I’d made with Max.

Emily pushed against him, resting her head
on his chest. I watched as he embraced her. I heard him whispering
to her, words I couldn’t make out. Were they words that belonged to
me? My heart thrashed loudly in my ears, my breathing sped, and all
I could smell was the sick, syrupy sweetness of her Calvin Klein
Euphoria perfume.

Emily pulled away and Max pushed his hands
to her cheeks before twisting one of her dark brown curls around
his finger and delicately tucking it behind her ear. God it hurt so
bad to see him touch her that way. Suddenly I couldn’t keep myself
from hyperventilating. I watched as Emily smiled at him; her eyes
twinkled with every word he whispered to her. Her hands clutched
either side of his white dress shirt. My knees buckled, causing me
to lean forward. I caught myself before I fell apart in the hall.
Ugh! This is my fault.
I should have never left, I should
have never kissed Nick, and I should have been there with him as he
buried his father. But mostly, I should have never left.

~ Max ~

Emily didn’t handle death well; she never
could. But who am I to talk? When Mallory killed herself I dropped
into the deepest, most fucked-up depression ever! It was a lonely,
desolate place deep within me that I never knew existed. Emily
would come by every day and check up on me. I guess, years later,
nothing’s changed for her. She knew the routine and seemed to be
slipping so comfortably back into it. Only thing was, I didn’t need
her to do that this time.

“
Thank you for coming over
and checking up on me,” I mumbled. I felt her arms press against my
sides, her hands hot against my back as she rubbed them up and down
my lats.

“
Well, Max, you’re
welcome. You know I’m here whenever you need me,” Emily sang as she
leaned her body into mine. I can’t say it wasn’t comfortable, and
considering our past, it would be normal to feel her do this. But
it wasn’t romantic for me; I mean she’d been my friend since we
were little. I just didn’t need the same attention she wanted to
give me now that I was with Wilson. As she looked up at me her blue
eyes danced back and forth and her bangs tangled with her eye
lashes. I wrapped a curl of her hair around my finger before I
pushed it behind her ear.

“
Thanks for that, Em. I’d
better get back to my family,” I whispered.

“
You mean back to that
girl, Wilson, right?” she answered back.

“
Yeah, she
is
my girlfriend Em.” I
pulled her hands off from around me.

“
Really? Where was she
today when you really needed her?” Emily said in a short tone.
“Girlfriends don’t just leave their boyfriends alone at one of the
worst times of their lives,” she spat. I could see her chest
beginning to heave and the edges of her curls vibrate with every
breath she took.

“
Emily, please don’t
disrespect Wilson. You have no idea—”

“
Max, she left
you…literally, right after your father died.”

“
Em, I’m asking you to
stop.” I could feel my teeth grind as she bashed Wilson.

“
She isn’t right for
you.”

“
I think you should go
now. I’ll tell my family you came by,” I growled in a stern voice.
I could feel the muscles in my arms and shoulders
tighten.

“
I’m sorry, Max, but I had
to say something, as someone who’s known you all your life and
cares a lot about what happens to you.” Emily weaved her arm around
mine as she pushed her other hand against my chest. “Calvin told me
she’s one of your students, and that you lost your job back in
California because of her.”

I couldn’t fucking believe
the words spewing from her mouth.
Who in
the hell does she think she is? She has no idea about my life with
Wilson.
The temperature in my face rose
and I felt like my entire body was on fire, burning every fucked-up
memory I had of my life into the forefront of my mind. Every ounce
of restraint I had was dissolving in her remarks.

“
If you’ve ever cared
about me, you’d be happy for me. Finally I’ve found someone who
makes me happy. Someone that makes me feel alive again. I love her,
more than anything or anyone I’ve ever loved in my life. If you
knew what was best you’d leave, before you say anything else to
ruin our friendship. I’ll tell my mom you came by.” I didn’t give
her an opportunity to answer. I grabbed her arm and pushed her out
the front door.