Better Than Friends (6 page)

Matt and Aaron’s place was very chic. It was a newer building, so the units were equipped with state-of-the-art amenities, high ceilings, and generous windows. The layout was open with a kitchen island separating the main living areas. Aaron worked for a fashion magazine. He loved all things design, which meant their place looked like a candidate for a contemporary-home photo spread. Basically, the opposite of the apartment Matt and I had shared with our buddy Dave. That place had been the
epitome of a bachelor pad. Kind of like my own place now in
Georgetown, I mused.

I found Aaron standing at the kitchen island, humming a song as he stirred something in the large blue bowl in front of him. He smiled broadly, his pretty hazel eyes lit in greeting as he set the whisk aside and grabbed a cup from the cabinet behind him.

“Poor, poor Curt. You’re looking a little green, honey.” He tsked and shook his head in mock sympathy. His tone told me he was pretty sure I deserved it.

I grunted and rubbed my hands over my face as I sat heavily on a kitchen barstool at the island. Aaron set a large cup of coffee in front of me and placed two aspirin next to it before turning back to bring me a glass of water as well. Maybe he was a tiny bit sympathetic after all.

“Thanks,” I mumbled. I should have been more effusive, perhaps, but I wasn’t myself yet.

Fifteen minutes later, after the aspirin and caffeine had begun to work their magic, I could finally feel the fog lift. My host was busily making pancakes and chatting enough for the two of us about brands of syrup and the merits of making batter from scratch rather than the boxed variety. I assumed he was talking about pancakes, but I wasn’t sure.

“Aaron.” He turned at the sound of my voice and took a good look at
me.

“You okay? More coffee?”

“No, I’m good. Thanks. I’m really sorry I—”

He held up his hand to stop my speech and gave me an irritated look. “Do not apologize. You’re welcome any time, Curt. You know that, right?”

I nodded, immediately wincing at the sudden movement.

“I appreciate it. Thanks. Where’s Matt?”

“Showering. He’ll be out in a minute. Sooo… in the meantime, tell me all about it.”

“About what?”

“Leave him alone.” Matt was pulling on a T-shirt as he stepped into the kitchen. He hugged Aaron tightly around his middle and kissed him noisily on the cheek before burying his nose in his boyfriend’s neck and blowing raspberry sounds. Aaron shrieked and jumped out of Matt’s arms, giggling as he slapped him away.

“Cool it! Go sit down. Breakfast is just about ready.”

“Fine. Have it your way. I’ll just have mine later.” Matt raised his eyebrows in a silly, lascivious fashion, making both Aaron and I laugh.

“Could you at least wait for me to leave before you two start making goo-goo eyes at each other?” I honestly didn’t care and they knew it. I appreciated their easy manner together. They were obviously good friends as well as lovers.

Matt took the seat next to me and made a point of giving me a good once-over. I was sure he was about to comment on my pathetic state, but he shook his head like a disappointed parent instead. He was teasing me, but I told him to fuck off anyway. He laughed good-naturedly and smiled his thanks at his boyfriend as Aaron set a cup of coffee in front of him.

“I s’pose you need a ride home.” Matt sighed dramatically.

“You s’pose correctly.”

“Eat first and then we’ll take you.” Aaron set a stack of pancakes between Matt and me. He was an amazing cook, but my stomach wasn’t ready for real food yet. I must have grimaced without realizing it. Matt looked over at me and did that annoying head-shake thing again.

“Oh well, more for me.”

Aaron turned back to join us with a plate of scrambled eggs and fruit. He scooped some of his eggs onto Matt’s plate, and another one of those “couple” looks passed between them that seemed to say “thank you,” “I love you,” and maybe more. I sighed and decided to make an attempt at the pancakes, thinking a little something in my stomach might aid my recovery.

Aaron leaned against the counter, facing Matt and me while he nonchalantly nibbled at a piece of melon. I knew he wouldn’t let his earlier line of questioning go. It was a matter of minutes before he grilled me for a story I wished were a hell of a lot juicier than reality.

“Time to share, Curt. I’m waiting.”

“Aar… leave it al—”

“No, it’s cool.” I sat back on the barstool, taking a break from playing with my food. I really had no appetite. “The thing is, there is nothing to tell. Sorry to disappoint, boys.”

“Nice try. No offense, but you’ve become a little conservative since you’ve become a big important lawyer, and it’s highly unlike you to take rides from strange, hunky men on motorcycles. Confession time! I’m all about the—”

“Details,” Matt and I supplied at the same time.

We laughed, and Matt took the opportunity to embrace his inner teenager as he smacked my arm hard, yelling, “Jinx!” I smacked him back equally hard and glared at him for good measure.

“You two are a couple of idiots. Distractions won’t work either way. C’mon, Curt. Dish!”

Aaron leaned far over the counter on his elbows and stared at me pointedly. He looked pretty damn cute, and a glance at his moon-eyed boyfriend told me he was thinking the same thing.

“I swear, Aaron…. We talked. But that was really it.” I shrugged as though I couldn’t remember a word of importance anyway. Total lie. I remembered everything. Granted, I had had too much to drink last night, but I wouldn’t forget Jack anytime soon. I simply wasn’t ready to share my night. It felt like something out of a fairy tale. Bigger than “we made out and then he drove my drunk ass here on his Harley.” I couldn’t say why, but it did.

“Hmm. You’re a stubborn one.” Aaron slapped the island’s granite surface for emphasis and laid his hand back on his hip.

“It’s cool, man. We’ve all been there to some degree, and Peter’s ex is certainly not a bad choice to lose your inhibitions to.” Matt waggled his eyebrows again and neatly dodged Aaron’s aim at the side of his head. “I only meant he’s single, successful, and perfect for someone like Curtster.”

Fuck. In the bright morning light, the knowledge that Jack and Peter were once a couple made all my starry-eyed memories of the previous evening seem like a ridiculous dream. An improbable blip in time. Guys like Jack went for guys like Peter. Guys who were extraordinarily handsome and buff, with effortless style and an edgy side, who didn’t think twice about getting on the back of a tricked-out motorcycle with a man they barely knew. Of course, I didn’t know if all those attributes fit Peter, but I did know that I, Curt Townsend, wasn’t that guy. I was fine-looking, I supposed, but certainly not gorgeous. I wore suits to work only because I had to. Otherwise I was very happy in an old pair of Levi’s and a plain T-shirt. I was cautious by nature. I looked before I leapt. And I didn’t have any particular stand-out talent. I didn’t play guitar like Matt and I couldn’t dance like Aaron. Fuck. I wished the day was over already. I knew I would spend the remainder of my Sunday with a miserable hangover as I pathetically replayed the night with Jack in my head, dissecting and overanalyzing. I needed Monday with my ridiculous workload and no opportunity for self-recriminations.

Matt and Aaron were doing their silent communication thing while I was in the midst of my internal meltdown. I glanced up to see Aaron eyeing me thoughtfully as Matt tucked in to his breakfast, lifting his head to cast a wary look my way.

“What?” I asked Aaron. He was making me nervous.

“Nothing. I was just thinking it was a hot kiss. That’s all,” Aaron said as he bit into another piece of melon.

“Um, you saw?”

Aaron wiggled his eyebrows and smiled appreciatively.

“Aar, leave him alone. A kiss sometimes is just a kiss, not a promise of undying love,” Matt interjected, finally putting his fork down to come to my rescue.

“I wasn’t quantifying the kiss one way or another. I think, darling… well, I’ll speak plainly even if it does sound gauche. I think Curt doesn’t think he’s good enough for Jack.”

Wow. Bingo.

“I regret getting shit-faced. It was fun while it lasted, but it’s not fun to wake up with a headache you know isn’t budging for most of the day. The rest”—I waved my hand as though I couldn’t be bothered with the embarrassing details I knew would haunt me all damn day—“is just the product of too much Tanqueray.”

“Hmmm.”

“Aaron…,” Matt warned his boyfriend.

“Okay, fine. I’ll leave it alone, but I want you to know something, Curt. Are you listening?” I nodded, careful not to shake up my gray matter any more than necessary. “You are smart, funny, good-looking, and kind. You are worthy. Don’t for one second think you aren’t cool enough or handsome enough for anyone. You are a great guy and you deserve someone who knows how amazing you are. If you want Jack, for example, there is no reason you shouldn’t go for it. None whatsoever. You are the only one holding yourself back. So stop.”

Matt and I both stared at him with our mouths wide open. I hadn’t expected so impassioned a speech on my behalf and I truly didn’t know how to respond. Aaron didn’t seem to mind. He clapped his hands together loudly, making me wince in pain as he leaned over to pick up our plates.

“Okay, I’m stepping off my soapbox now. I’m going to get dressed. Ciao for now.” He swept out of the room, stopping briefly to kiss Matt as he passed by his chair.

“Um, I should probably get my stuff together,” I said lamely.

“He’s right, you know.”

“Aaron’s great and while I appreciate—”

“Aaron’s amazing and I’m really lucky, man. I know it. And like I was trying to say, he’s right. You don’t give yourself a chance. Hell, you don’t give any guy you ever meet a chance. It was kind of cool seeing you with Jack last night. Obviously Aaron thought so too or he wouldn’t have teased you. I don’t know the guy but I like his sister, and if he’s still friends with Peter and managed to win over Jay along the way, he can’t be that bad. They invited him to their wedding! What would it hurt to give the guy a call and see where it led?”

Once again I was rendered speechless. I let a full second pass before I answered my well-meaning but thickheaded friend.

“Matt, are you fucking high? Look, I know I need to get out more often. And you know what? I’m going to! Starting today, April 21, I vow to be more open-minded about dating and meeting new guys.” I smiled at the déjà vu I experienced, thinking of Jack and a similar conversation. Maybe the date was significant somehow, I mused. “But really…. Jack?”

“Why not Jack? The guy is smokin’ hot!”

“I hear you!” Aaron’s voice singsonged from the vicinity of the master bedroom. We both chuckled, and I took the reprieve the interruption gave to stand up and get moving. It was time for me to get out of their way.

“Matt. Just leave it alone. Please.”

“Okay fine. Maybe it’s not Jack. But give someone a chance, okay?”

L
YING
SPRAWLED
out on my sofa later that afternoon, I did what I knew I would no matter how hard I tried not to. I ran through last night’s conversations in my head, analyzing and agonizing over every detail. I wasn’t at my sharpest as the evening had progressed, but there was little chance I’d forget anything about Jack.

Yesterday had been such an anomaly, beginning with my brother’s phone call giving me the latest report on our father’s failing health. Nothing brought out my inner demons better than the mere mention of my father. I was torn, as I always was, between wanting to support Cary somehow and wanting to ignore his calls. I hated our father, but I loved my brother. When I returned Cary’s phone call, I muttered all the expected lines about hoping Dad wasn’t in pain. That was what one did when confronted with news about difficult chemotherapy sessions and poor reactions to medications, right? As much as I wished I didn’t sometimes, I still had a heart.

Weddings heralded a beginning. I was happy for my friends, but I couldn’t help feel a bit worried about myself. What was I doing to jump-start my life besides working? It was all well and good for my career path, but what about the rest? Maybe it was my conversation earlier that morning with Matt combined with my Cinderfella-esque time spent with Jack that made me realize I needed to make some changes. I didn’t want to be alone because I was too afraid to risk my heart again. I didn’t want to grow into a bitter, lonely man who held the past close to his chest like a shield. Perhaps my evening with Jack was an anomaly, but it was a great memory and I wanted more. Unfortunately, life wasn’t a fairy tale. I couldn’t wait around for a hunky, pirate-like bad boy to sweep me off my feet. I had to do what Matt suggested. Give someone a chance.

I turned my attention back to the game on the television. Baseball was easy. Real life could wait another day.

“Every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday’s success or put its failures behind and start over again. That’s the way life is, with a new game every day. And that’s the way baseball is.”