Better Deeds Than Words (Words#2) (39 page)

“Fuck, I love these,” he whispered, slipping his fingers under the elastic with ease.

Apparently he’d wandered in the desert long enough and was heading straight for the Promised Land! My response was one part whimper, two parts moan, and a million parts
bring-it-on
. His hand moved lower, inching slowly across my tummy until he toyed gently with the little cotton bow at the top of my panties.

Bloody hell!

And that’s when I remembered.

Bloody hell
was right!

Oh no! Oh no, no, no! Fuck you, Mother Nature! Fuck you and your whole extended family!

“Daniel,” I breathed, trying to guide his hand away.

“No, don’t. Please—don’t think.” He kissed me and eased his hand from my grasp. “Forget logic, forget everything—I want to touch you. I
have
to.”

His fingers resumed their journey, creeping under the seam at the top of my panties and his slow, sensual kisses almost made me forget myself. One, maybe two more inches…But no, I couldn’t.

I backed away from his kiss. “Daniel, don’t.”

I grabbed his hand again, pulling it up to my stomach, and this time I threaded my fingers through his. He looked at me, his breathing labored, his expression betraying his bewilderment.

“Please stop. It’s—it’s just not a good time. I don’t want you to do this…now. I mean,
I do
—I just can’t. It’s
bad timing…
”

I don’t know why I couldn’t just say what I meant. I was dying of mortification. He was poised above me, looking at me with furrowed brows, and then his eyes opened wide as understanding dawned on him.

“Oh, Christ, you have your period?”

“Yes.” I closed my eyes, grateful that at least
he
could say the words that I’d been unable to spit out for whatever ridiculous reason.

He squeezed my hand and lowered his forehead to rest it against mine for a moment as he tried to calm his breathing. Then he rolled onto his side, facing me, and pulled my bra back into place before bringing the two sides of my shirt loosely together.

“Wow,” he said, resting his hand on my stomach.

“Sorry. I’m
so
sorry. I completely forgot. I didn’t mean to lead you on.”

“It’s okay. Stop apologizing.” He kissed me gently.

I hooked my fingers into the waistband of his pants. “If you want, I could…”

He took my hand, threading his fingers through mine, mimicking the way I’d retrieved his hand a few moments before. Then he looked down at me, his face awash with emotion.

“This isn’t about wanting to come, Aubrey. It’s about wanting
you
.”

I gaped up at him, speechless.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m fucking frustrated as hell,” he said. “I feel like I’m about to explode, but I suppose it’s for the best. This wasn’t exactly how I envisioned things happening. I mean, not here, in Penny and Brad’s spare room.”

“I know. Me either.”

He shook his head, casting his eyes up and down my body, taking in my mussed hair and partially clad state.

“You are so fucking hot. Now I
really
can’t wait until the weekend.” He cradled my cheek and gave me a sweet kiss. Then he narrowed his eyes. “About the timing—will you be, you know…”

“Will I be done by Friday?” I smiled. “The timing was shitty for today, but I started on Sunday. It’ll be over by Friday.”

“
Friday
. Right. About that…” He winced.

I pushed myself up onto my elbows. “No. Don’t tell me…”

“I’m sorry, it’s beyond my control.”

“What is? What’s going on?” I struggled to contain my aggravation.

He sighed and tucked my hair behind my ear.

“Martin has asked me to meet him at his office on Friday afternoon. He wants to compare notes and evaluate a few exams together. He said it would be a good exercise to do some comparative assessment.”

“Okay, well, that’s not a big deal. What about afterward?”

He shook his head. “It’s my dad’s last day as dean on Friday, and there’s a reception for him at Vic from five fifteen until seven fifteen.”

“There is?”

“University types, administration, that sort of thing. My family will be there too. After that, we’re going out for a family dinner. I don’t imagine we’d be finished much before ten thirty or eleven. I suggested you might be able to join us, but my mom’s invited Verna and Bruce Atkins. They’re Sabrina’s parents.”

“What? Why would they be there?”

“Bruce is my dad’s best friend.”

“Seriously?”

“They’ve been playing golf together for years. That’s actually how I met Sabrina back in high school. Family get-togethers.”

He grimaced, and I flopped back onto the pillow.

Don’t over-react.

“My mom thought you might be uncomfortable if they were there, and I was inclined to agree. Was I right?”

I tried not to pout. But really, did I want my first public appearance to take place in a room with Sabrina’s mother and father? Not really.

“Please don’t be upset,” Daniel said, pulling me back to lie on his chest. “I’ll pick you up first thing Saturday morning. I know it’s hard to take after all this waiting, but my hands are tied. You understand, right?”

I ran my fingers aimlessly through his chest hair, maneuvering myself so that I could take advantage of the opportunity to feel the warmth of his body against my bare skin.

“Yes, I understand,” I said grudgingly.

What I understood was that the world was one big cock-blocking asstard, but I kept that opinion to myself.

“Can we sneak in a visit on Thursday afternoon? Technically that i
s
after exams.”

He shook his head. “There’s somewhere I need to go on Thursday. It’s important. There’s no other time I can do it.” In response to my inquisitive look, he swept my hair back off my face. “And no, I can’t tell you. It’s a surprise.”

There was no point fighting with him. His week was mapped out.

“All right,” I said. “You win. Saturday it is.”

“I didn’t win, sweetheart. This isn’t about winning and losing. Just circumstances, that’s all. Now can we try to enjoy our time together? I distinctly remember you once telling me you’d be happy to sit and watch paint dry with me. We could do that right now. There’s some very fresh paint in here.”

“I did say that, didn’t I?”

“You did. So, what do you say? You up for it?”

I could either sulk like a petulant child, ruining whatever time we had left together, or I could enjoy the time we
did
have, even if we could only lie in each other’s arms.

“Absolutely.” I snuggled up to him as he ran his hand inside my shirt, rubbing my back gently. “Mmm, that feels nice.” I sighed, pressing myself against him, the heat of his skin warming my bare tummy. I tried unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn and felt him chuckle.

“Am I boring you?” he asked.

“No, I’m just so comfortable, and that music is relaxing. What’s this song called?” I asked, nestling my face into his neck.

“It’s a remake of The Beatles’ song ‘Golden Slumbers.’”

“Mmm, slumbers,” I mumbled.

“You tired?” he whispered.

“A little.”

“You can take a nap if you want.”

“No, it’s okay.”

“I don’t mind. I’ll even let you drool on me.”

I smiled and tucked my right hand into his side, wrapping my other arm around him. “You must love me.”

“I do. I love you more every day. Please don’t feel bad if you fall asleep. You’ve been going non-stop.”

“I
am
tired, but if I go to sleep I might miss something.”

He brushed his lips against my forehead. “I promise not to do anything fascinating while you nap. You sleep, my lovely. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

I wanted to object, but I couldn’t. With Daniel rubbing my back like that, I was fighting a losing battle. I gave in to the feeling, relaxing with a contented sigh.

Daniel sang to me quietly as his fingers moved in gentle circles on my back. I was floating—hovering in that warm place between sleep and wakefulness. Then I crossed over, slipping into a lovely dream. Daniel and I were sitting under a tree in the Vic quad. He was kissing me, and we were both oblivious to the people walking past and staring.

We were in love, and neither one of us cared who knew the truth.

Chapter 25

Love and Honesty

I know thou’rt full of love and honesty,
And weigh’st thy words before thou givest them breath,
Therefore these stops of thine fright me the more…
(
Othello
, Act III, Scene 3)

A
LONG
T
HE
P
ATHS
T
HAT
C
RISSCROSSED
Queen’s Park, squirrels busied themselves among the gnarled roots of the trees while people jogged, walked, or stood talking in groups with friends. I passed all of this feeling entirely disconnected.

I was finished with university.

Now what? For the past four years, I’d had a purpose, a goal to achieve when I’d woken up every morning. What was my goal now? To bed Daniel on Saturday and then continue to do so as frequently as possible thereafter? A fabulous plan, but not exactly a
career
prospect. Talk about feeling aimless.

I reached Jackman and stood in the front hallway of the apartment for a moment, listening for signs of life. Nothing. I was alone. I sighed and made my way to my room, kicking off my shoes inside the door. A flash of color across the room caught my eye. There was a huge bunch of tulips and daffodils arranged in a cut-glass vase in the center of my desk. How beautiful! Two envelopes rested against the vase, along with a Post-it note in Matt’s writing.

Jeremy dropped these off this afternoon. I’m at Sarah’s. Talk to you later...or tomorrow. Oh, and congrats on being done. ~Matt

Jeremy had dropped off flowers for me?

I picked up the envelopes. “
Thursday”
was printed on one, and the other one read, “
Open on Friday, May 1st
.” I opened the smaller envelope to find a handwritten letter from Daniel.

Aubrey,

I know you’ve already opened a card from me today, but I had to mark this special day in some way. Remember Patty’s story-how she’d received a bouquet of roses from my grandfather on the day she graduated? Waiting until June is not an option, so I chose to acknowledge today with flowers. And yet, thirty-one days ago, I made you a promise. I curse that promise every day, but I’ve taken such pains not to break it.

These flowers are from Penny’s garden. I
hope they lift your spirits and make you think of me. To plunder again…this time the words of Alfred Lord Tennyson: “If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever.”

As you read these words, I would hazard a guess that I’m at Martin’s office, having just returned from my day’s “outing,” and I’m now preparing to take home exams which I must mark my share of tonight. And you have just finished writing your exam-the final exam of your undergraduate career. Congratulations, my love. I’m sure you did well. I
suppose I’ll find out shortly, won’t I?

I’m taking the evening to finish my course responsibilities, but I’ll see you soon, sweetheart. Enjoy the flowers.

All my love,~D

xo

“Thank you, Daniel,” I whispered, immediately comforted by his reassuring words.

I picked up the other envelope. Another homemade card? A late addition in light of the fact that we wouldn’t be able to be together tomorrow night as we’d originally planned? I would wait to open it—maybe save it for Friday evening when I was feeling sorry for myself, unable to join Daniel and his family at their celebrations.

I placed the envelope on my bookshelf, slightly bitter that I’d been left out of the entire evening’s events. I paused again to look at the pictures on the front of the other cards.

As the week had progressed, the photos had continued to represent the places we’d been together, places that held significance, but today’s card was my favorite—the fallen tree log in the woods in High Park where we’d first admitted that we loved each other. I needed to read it again.