Betrayed (5 page)

“What?”

“Shirley Cannigan and your father. I know about their affair.” He watched the color drain from her face as she stared at him.

“How did you know about that?” she whispered, looking into Rick’s expressionless eyes.

“It doesn’t matter. People don’t know about it. It may affect him in the election if the news is leaked out.”

“What are you trying to say, Rick?”

“I know a journalist. He’s a friend of mine.”

Her face was pale,
and her eyes began to flood. Rick watched her, unable to feel anything, as if in a trance. Every bit of his emotions had turned into fear for Tracy’s life.
She will be murdered
, the voice repeated. They stared at each other for about five minutes, unable to comprehend the sudden turn of events. Regan was the first one to gain control of herself. She took a deep breath, her eyes red and moist.

“Who are you a
nd what do you want?” she asked in a dead tone.

“
I am the same person, and I want thirty grand.”

“This was about money? If you just wanted money why did you play this game? Why did you play with my emotions? You just had to ask
,” she cried in surprise, controlling herself. “You are pathetic.”

She stood up and walked away. The moment Rick lost contact with her eyes, his he
art ripped to shreds. He felt it rip and could do nothing. He continued to look at the empty chair and a minute later he heard the trucks arrive. It was time to go back to the real world.

CHAPTER 5

“Careful. Do you want me to call the doctor?”

“No
, I’m fine.”

Tracy dragged herself across the hall and into the
bedroom where she sat down on the bed doing nothing, tears streaming down her face. Rick stood by the door deciding if he should talk or comfort her. But he didn’t know how or what he was supposed to say or do.

“I’ll make some coffee. Maybe we can, uh, talk?” he said, trying to tread lightly, not even wanting to think about what Tracy had been through at the hands of her kidnappers.

It was late in the evening of the same day he had woken up with the bad hangover, and the coffee did him some good. Sitting beside Tracy, both of them drinking coffee, was something very normal and quite comfortable too, but tension filled the air and there was no spark of sentiments between them. This realization hit Rick for the very first time. They had wild sex frequently but now it seemed more of a mechanical need than an act of love.
Love? Had he ever loved Tracy?

“Did they treat you bad?”

“They kept me locked in a basement but gave me food and water,” she said, watching the sun trying to squeeze in through the thick clouds from the window. The white canvass from the basement flashed through her mind. She blinked it away.

“
It was so cold in there, I was almost certain I would die but at the verge of my last breath I was given warm blankets.” A fuzzy image of turquoise eyes and warm hands enveloping around her made her shudder and swiped across her memory, filling her eyes.
Soon Tracy, soon,
she thought to herself.

“Are you still feeling cold?”

Tracy turned to look at Rick. “No, I’m alright. So tell me, how did you get hold of the money, finally?”

“Well, umm, I got some from Steve and the rest, you know, I tried around, people were there. Just asked. You know, I managed.” 
He stumbled for words but the episode ran clearly in his mind. He knew he would never recover from what he did to Regan.

****

His mind went back to the worst day of his life. It was late in the afternoon, and the guests had all cleared out, getting back to their real world with rushed appointments. The lobby was almost empty, and Rick was the only one seated in the waiting area, looking beaten. He hadn’t seen Regan since the breakfast disaster.

Regan had stormed off, and he had gone back to his room to gather up his things. He returned to the lobby, half expecting Regan to show up with money but she never came back
although he sat there for hours. He had finally decided to go to the cops and started to walk out the door but had bumped into a man. The man looked up in annoyance ready to curse but stopped short.

“Mr. Rick?”

“Um, yes?”

“This is for you.”

He handed a package to him and went back to the awaiting car outside. Rick took the parcel back inside the hotel and started to unwrap it. Inside, was another plastic bag with a note on top of it. He opened the note, and his heart gave a jolt.

I love my father.

There was exactly thirty thousand inside the bag. After a minute’s regret along with the urgency of it, Rick pulled himself together. He added Steve’s money along with the thirty thousand and rushed to West Care. The short journey was intense for Rick. He thought about Tracy and all the years he had had with her. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if anything happened to her.

****

“I’m glad,” Tracy said, jolting Rick back to the present. He was glad she didn’t try to get the story out of him although usually she would hound him until he told her every little detail. Red flags welled up inside him but he shook the thoughts away. She was acting strange but he understood why.

“Get some rest, Tracy. You
’re still shaken. I need to go to the office and check if I still have my job.”

“You didn’t go all these days?”

“Um, no. I was snowed in in the North side because of the snowstorm.”

“Oh, ok.”

She got under the sheets without another word and closed her eyes. The panic and fear had sunk deep into her soul, and she tried hard to forget the trauma she had just been through. She had come close to death in that basement but had managed to survive and get her body away from the clutches of death but her soul was lost, and her heart was frozen. She didn’t know how much more of this she could take.

             
****

“Hey! How was your day?”

“It was alright, just a bunch of cranky clients,” Rick said, loosening his tie and getting the food out of the microwave. “How was yours?”

“It was hectic! I
got home only an hour ago and ordered pizza,” Tracy said, her eyes glued to the TV screen.

Rick took a bite of the chicken pizza and walked towards the couch. “What
are you watching?”

“
News. Did you hear that Solinski won the elections? They were just telecasting the - oh there it is again. It was quite an obvious win, don’t you think? That’s his daughter there, she’s going to work along with her father. She looks pretty, huh?”

It had been a month since he saw her. Since she walked out of his life after he hurt her. Since she gave him the money to save his
fiancée.  The same eyes and the same smile but her red streak was gone. His heart gave way to pain, his lips began to quiver, and his breath seemed to have doubled back. Pushing his plate away, he got up.

“Where are you going?”

“To bed.”

             
                                                                                ****

The urgency was unmistakable
, and the desire had been teeming after the bottle of vodka. He pushed harder, and the adrenaline ran its course through his body. He watched her naked body as it synced in with his rhythm. When he reached the peak, he grunted and increased the tempo, the world around him blurred - his mind woozy with alcohol. Every drop of his blood surged with the climax and then died down. He mounted off Tracy and lay on the bed, breathing fast.

“Rick, I need to ask you something.”

“Now? I just want to go to sleep.”

“It’s important.”

“Alright.”

“Why don’t we have a kid?”

The question hit him right in the gut, exploding the fatigue out of him. He turned around and looked at her. She was staring at the ceiling, her eyes clouded with something Rick was not familiar with. It had been two months since the kidnapping, and her eyes hadn’t changed. It had scared Rick initially.

“What do you mean?”

“We have been together for years. We never talked about having kids. We never talked about starting a family. I’m thirty five and still don’t have a child. Why?”

Rick sat up
, bewildered by the sudden ambush of delicate questions. It was true, he knew that. They
had
never talked about having a baby and being parents. Their life revolved around work, holidays and sex. But neither of them had complained or felt the need to think about starting a family and now the sudden outburst from Tracy had Rick confused and bewildered.

“I never knew you wanted that. Why didn’t you say something before?”

“I didn’t, and I don’t. That’s the point, Rick. Why? I’ve been engaged, I have a career, and I’m certainly not growing any younger. Then why am I
not
thinking about having kids with you? And even if I did, would you agree to it?”

“I
- I don’t know but . . .”

“No. No you wouldn’t.”

“How can you. . .”

“Let me finish. I never said I want kids
; I only asked why don’t we want to? Why don’t we talk about it? Why? And frankly speaking, I don’t think you love me and -”

“How dare you? You can’t just assume things like that! I’ve been wi
th you and taken care of you! And you say I don’t love you?”

“Will you please let me finish? I don’t think you love me nor do I love you. This is a loveless
relationship.”

Rick was shocked. His brain was alert
, and his heart was pumping with rage. He wanted to shake her but all he could do was shake his fist and splutter. He didn’t know what to say, and he looked at Tracy who just appeared calm and unemotional.

“I never once thought about you when I was kidnapped
; all I wanted was to escape. For two months, I’ve been able to look deep into our relationship, and it’s obvious we never really had one.”

“What’s wrong with you? How can you be so cool about it? You
’re telling me our relationship has failed as if we just flunked a fifth grade examination. You’ve completely changed in two months! You are not the person you were.”

“And yet it doesn’t bother you.”

“Yes it does! I was worried!”

“No, Rick. You were just scared
and guilty. It was not about me, it was about you. Ironic statement, isn’t it?”

Rick’s temper reached its peak
, and he displaced it on the night lamp. There was a shatter and a far-reaching black out.

“Think about it. Good night.”

“No! There is nothing to think about! You are telling me you don’t love me, you don’t believe in us, I don’t want a family! There is nothing to think about! You just shredded our relationship!”

“Rick, all you had to do
now was tell me you loved me, you wanted kids, and you believe in us. You did none of the above instead you lost your temper in denial. Deep down you know what I said is true.”

He
snatched his pants and charged out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Cursing her, he yanked the refrigerator open and pulled out a beer bottle. It took him four bottles and an hour of rage and cussing to calm down and look at the real picture. He heard the bedroom door open behind him. Tracy, in her dressing gown, walked to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water without a glance or a word to Rick. As she was about to go back to the room, Rick stopped her.

“Trace. I need to tell you something. Could you sit down for a bit?”

“Sure.” She put the glass of water on the kitchen table and sat on the couch next to him.

“I got a little money from Steve and the rest from Regan Solinski.”

“Solinski’s daughter? How? You knew her?”

“No. But I heard about her father’s affair
, and I decided to use it against her. But I - I mean, I was stuck in the snowstorm at the hotel with her and - I didn’t expect it but - I liked her. But when I heard from the Green brothers that if I didn’t give them the money back they would kill you, I ended up blackmailing her.”

“Are you trying to tell me that because of me you lost what you had for her?”

“No!” He took a deep breath to calm his agitated nerves.” What I’m trying to say is that I care for you. I really do, Trace. I was scared for you, and I wanted to get you out of there safe.”

“Thank you, Rick. I
care
for you too,” she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “See what I mean now? Caring is not love, Rick. You know as well as I do that this relationship has been over for years.”

They talked for three hours straight over coffee and ice cream and
decided it was time to finally take the right path and end the relationship. There was no bitterness, no rage or regret. They cared and respected each other but the deception of love under the raw lust was lifted. Tracy smiled silently in her heart; it was time to end this charade. Rick felt like an entire mountain had been lifted off his chest, and hoped Regan would forgive him.