Belly of the Beast (7 page)

“What is this place?” Niki asked as Yuri led her on to the front porch.

 “A refuge for lost souls left outside after the Cold War, a place to die without being killed. I must warn you, your mother is not the athlete you saw sprinting away from you fifteen years ago. I hardly recognized her when a friend brought her here.” Yuri unlocked the front door and led Niki upstairs.

In the front bedroom on the second floor, Lana sat like a neglected plant, pale and limp. No expression traced the thin-skinned lines of her skeletal face. Niki looked away.

From the bed on the other side of the room, a woman cleared her throat. Gray hair spread across her pillow like roots of a willow tree; above recessed eyes, deep furrows crossed her forehead.

Niki thought,
this is hardly living,
but politely asked,
“Who takes care of them?”

“Thomas. He’s probably in the kitchen.”

Niki looked back toward her mother. “She got old. God, she’s not even sixty.”

Lana didn’t move, her eyes fixed on a small rainbow cast on the window casing by sun shining through a crack in a windowpane.

Niki studied the lumpy veins on the back of the old hands. She looked at her own hands, smooth and tan. “Maybe she’s not my mother.”

“Actually, I’m sure she is,” said Yuri. “I have seen you both ski.”

Niki thought for a moment about growing old, about what lay ahead for herself.

“That leaves the date or the place,” Yuri continued, “but I doubt we’ll ever know.”

Niki shook her head as if to clear it and pulled a syringe from her pocket. “Alex is all that matters.”

Yuri stepped forward. “What are you—”

“Doing what I came here to do.” Niki took out a vial half-filled with yellow liquid.

Yuri moved between Niki and Lana.

“I’m just getting blood samples,” said Niki as she took out more vials.

“You are not exactly a nurse, are you?”

“I’ve done this before; hold these.”

Yuri took the vials and stood back as Niki rolled up Lana’s sleeve.

“There must be some consent required,” Yuri added.

“She didn’t ask for consent to leave me.”

“You got all this stuff from
Bay Area Nursing
when I let you out.”

Niki nodded. “I left a note. I’m going to pay them back.”

Niki drew blood; Lana never even blinked.

“Let’s go,” said Niki as she put the vials in her jacket pocket and stepped toward the door.

“Don’t you want to say anything to her?”

Niki turned. “If you’re a match for Alex, we’ll be back.”

Yuri shook his head. “A little compassion wouldn’t hurt.”

“
She
abandoned
me
! Where was
her
compassion? Do you know what my life was like? I was fourteen years old. I had to lie about my age just to wait tables.”

Yuri led Niki to the hall, shut the door, and turned her toward him. “I know you’ve got a lot on your mind, but think about what she did, what she had to do.” Yuri paused a moment, then added, “Does Alex understand every time you have to leave him?”

“I would never leave Alex.”

“You came to San Francisco without him.”

“Of course, I had to.”

“And his young mind understands?”

“He was upset that I couldn’t take him shopping, but I’m doing what’s best for him.”

“Your mother did what she thought was best for you.”

“But—”

“Let me finish. She didn’t escape from Russia to find a better life, and she didn’t escape on principle. As far as we know, she never revealed a single Soviet secret. She risked her life to get you, her unborn child, away from the radiation she knew would hurt you. From then on most of her decisions were made in desperation. She may not have known how to do it well, but she just wanted you to be safe. She is not unlike you going to a Russian stranger in a deserted parking lot at night. That wasn’t very smart.”

“I didn’t know what else to do. Don’t you understand? I have to save Alex.” Niki paused. “I guess you do understand. I guess I was desperate too.”

“Would Alex understand all this?”

Niki drew a deep breath. “Could we go back inside for a moment?”

Yuri opened the door.

Her lip trembling, Niki walked to her mother’s side and gently picked up her hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. If only you had told me what really—”

“She couldn’t,” Yuri said softly.

“The snow was crimson,” said the old woman from the other side of the room.

Niki turned.

“That’s just Galina,” Yuri whispered. “Years ago, she was a courier who learned too much. Now, no one on either side cares enough to kill her or care for her.”

“I guess someone cares,” said Niki. “Thank you, Yuri, for taking care of my mother too.”

Yuri shrugged. “Taking care of some of my own is the least I can do.”

“Green base, blue kicker,” said Galina in drawn-out English. “Slide on the glide.”

Niki spun back toward the old woman on the bed. Galina slowly closed her eyes and smiled as if a big fish had just chomped a baited hook.

“What did you say?” demanded Niki.

Galina frowned, eyes still closed. “Nothing.”

Niki grabbed Yuri’s arm. “My mother always said that when we waxed skis.”

Yuri turned to Galina. “How do you know about Lana?”

“Lana?” said the old woman. “What do I care about her? I was going to tell you about me.”

“Perhaps another time.”

“Wait,” said Niki, “she knows something.”

“I was going to tell you how to wax skis,” said Galina, “but I need cake. Chocolate cake with coconut. We will have a party.”

Yuri nodded. “Yes, Galina, a party for you just like the old days. I’ll come back in a few days.”

“No,” said Niki. “Crimson snow. Alex vomited blood on the snow before we realized he had Leukemia. Somehow she knows about him.”

“She couldn’t,” said Yuri. “She’s been in this room with Lana for three years. You have the blood sample. Isn’t that what’s really important? Let’s go.”

Niki nodded and followed Yuri toward the door.

“Fifteen January,” said Galina. “The snow was red with the afterbirth. I know everything. Lana don’t know nothing about birthing no babies.”

Niki grabbed Yuri’s arm again. “Wait. She knows about my birthday too.”

“I would like tea with my cake,” said Galina with a smile, “in a silver samovar. Three o’clock, and bring presents.”

“The bit about birthing babies is a line from a movie,” Yuri whispered. “Galina would say she was Scarlet O’Hara herself just to get attention.”

Niki followed Yuri to the hall. “But she knew my birth date.”

“We were all trained to gather information. Maybe your mother talked to Galina before she got here. Galina knew about you and the cat in the tree, but these days, Galina is confused about everything”

“She wasn’t confused about my birthday.”

“But we’re not even sure of that date, are we? Let’s get your samples checked so you can return to your son.”

Niki nodded. “I guess that’s the important thing.”

Yuri led Niki to the car. “Where to?”

“The University Hospital on Divisadero.”

“Next to the urology clinic? I know exactly where it is. Your mother will be a good match with Alex, and everything will be fine.”

“But what if she’s not?”

Yuri drove.

Niki took notes.

“What are you writing?”

“Nothing. Everything. Plan B. If my mother is not a match, I need to find Malenkov.”

“That’s not likely. Let’s hope your quest ends here. You’re not writing about me and my
rest home
, are you?”

“No,” Niki lied as she closed her notebook. “I know that’s secret.”

Yuri lit a cigarette. “You’ve drawn blood before.”

Niki stared at nothing out the side window. “I learned when I took courses to be a medical technician so I could work on an ambulance. It didn’t work out.”

Yuri pulled onto the expressway heading back north. “I couldn’t deal with blood and guts every day either.”

“It wasn’t that,” Niki said brusquely. She remained taciturn most of the way back to the city, then said quietly, “My first patient died.”

“You can’t save everyone.”

“This was different.” Niki drew a deep breath and closed her eyes. “After I got out of the hospital, I burned my birth certificate. I know it was stupid, but I was fourteen. I lied and said I was sixteen so I could work at Sonic Burger, but then I wanted a real job. A Mexican guy got me a fake high school diploma and a driver’s license that said I was eighteen. Fortunately, everyone under thirty was trying to look like Twiggy then, so most people didn’t question my age because of my skinny body, and I was almost as tall then as I am now. I didn’t speak like a typical teeny-bopper either. Mother had taught me French, German, Russian, and proper English, so people assumed I was older. Except for some science which Mother had neglected, it didn’t take much to get an Emergency Medical Technician certificate. In three months, I was on my first ambulance run. A jeep was upside down in the San Juan River.”

Yuri listened quietly.

“A baby died. I just couldn’t make myself put my head under water to reach inside and pull her out. They said I couldn’t have known someone was inside. They said EMTs weren’t trained for river rescues.”

“So it wasn’t your fault.”

“There was a trail of junk where the jeep had rolled down the bank, groceries and stuff. I saw a baby shoe and some toys.”

“A jeep? Everyone was probably crushed when it rolled.”

“The mother was thrown clear; the other EMT was busy with her. Later, they found that the baby was strapped in and the jeep had a roll bar. In my heart, I had known that baby was there, but I didn’t save her. I’ll live with that for the rest of my life.”

“We all must live with failings.”

“Not like that. I can’t fail Alex like I did that poor baby. I’ll do whatever it takes to save him. I guess finally confronting my mother was a bit like sticking my head under water.”

Yuri slowed and turned off the freeway. “Well, let’s hope that’s the worst of it. It’s good you can talk about it.”

“What happened with the baby wasn’t exactly a secret.
Mercy Hospital Hires Fifteen-Year-Old Ambulance Attendant
was the headline the day after the inquiry. The hospital was sued and they threatened to prosecute me for falsifying records and reckless endangerment or something, but one of the men at the inquiry said he would sponsor me. He had a rest home, gave me a job, and paid me under the table. When I finally turned sixteen, he helped me get a certificate of citizenship and enrolled me in nursing classes. I actually leased the land by the river and started fixing up the trailer where I’d been living.”

 “You got your life together.”

“Sort of. Christina, an ambulance attendant who was my only real friend, helped me replace broken windows in the trailer, and she lent me an old three-speed bicycle so I could get around. Then things started to fall apart. When the nursing school learned I didn’t have a real high school diploma, I had to take GED courses too. I was always tired what with work and all the classes, and with trailer repairs, textbooks, school supplies, and rent, I was always broke. Then one day I lost my grocery money. I’m sure I had safely tucked it in my pocket, but I couldn’t find it. I was too proud to ask for help. Instead, I took some food from the nursing home kitchen.”

“Hardly like shooting a man.”

“I was going to pay them back, but I knew it was wrong. I guess I got what was coming to me. I was on Christina’s bike, the sack of food in my basket. I was almost home when I realized I was being followed. At first, I thought it was someone from the nursing home, but it was a welding rig. I saw the logo later.
Crescent Oil and Gas
. A guy was driving slowly behind me, lights off.”

Niki looked nervously over her shoulder.

“We’re almost there,” said Yuri.

Niki nodded.

“Don’t stop talking,” said Yuri. “What happened?”

“I knew I couldn’t outride him on the highway,” Niki continued, “so I turned off, dropped my bike, and ran through the cottonwood grove toward my place. I hadn’t gone far when I tripped on a tree root. He grabbed me as I was getting up.”

“You must have been terrified.”

“Beyond. I screamed. The bastard clamped his hand over my mouth. ‘Don’t move birdie,’ he said in a voice that seemed familiar, maybe a roughneck from the Sonic Burger. I bit his hand. His fingers were just stubs.”

Yuri pulled abruptly to a parking space. “A big man with missing fingers?”

“Roughnecks are all big,” said Niki. “They work on oil rigs and lose fingers.”

“I should have killed him.”

“What are you talking about? Don’t tell me you were there too.”

“I didn’t know about it until now, but it had to be Malenkov. I should have finished him off at Hunter Creek. He’s a bad seed. What year was that?”

Niki digested what Yuri was saying. “It was 1978. You think my own father was trying to rape me? It couldn’t be. Besides, you said he was in Russia.”

“We don’t know that he’s your father, but it definitely was Malenkov who attacked you.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Yuri turned to face Niki. “When he was a boy, he hunted birds. Once he wounded one and spent six hours crawling through a swamp to catch it. ‘Don’t move birdie,’ he said when he showed it to me.”

“He didn’t want to hurt it?”

“He smiled at me, then snapped the bird’s neck and tossed it in the ditch. ‘You let one get away and you set a bad example,’ he said to me. He couldn’t let it win. Just like the bird, he was obsessed with finding your mother; she was winning. You were a way to get to her, perhaps he even saw you as your mother. He was always weird.”

“You knew Malenkov as a boy?”

Yuri shrugged.

“You’re not telling me everything.”

“I’m telling you what you need to know.”

“Then how did Malenkov get back? How did he find me?”

“1978. You had just gotten citizen papers. You filled out government forms. Did you mention your mother was Russian?”

“Maybe I said she spoke Russian.”

“Your government called my government. Information was exchanged. Somehow Malenkov had access.”

“You said he was crazy.”

“Well if you must know, Malenkov regained some credibility in ’76, the year my career took a turn. I switched allegiances, and my denunciation of Malenkov was reconsidered by the KGB. I became the bad guy.”

Niki turned to look at the old man beside her. “But you keep referring to Russia as
my
country.”

“I will always be Russian.”

“I don’t understand. You’re using your real Russian name, and the people at the consulate know who you are. Why don’t they kill you?”

“Profile, for one. I keep a high profile, meet with important people. The consulate does not want to create an international incident. And I have insurance.”

“Insurance?”

“I let them know that if I die an unnatural death, a letter is to be opened. It contains information they would not want aired. But of course Malenkov is a different story. I suspect he’d kill me in a heartbeat.”

Niki turned and clenched her fist. “If I ever see him again, I’ll kill him—after I rip out his bone marrow.”

“So he raped you?”

Niki didn’t answer.

“Mother of God, do not tell me he could be your son’s father.”

“No. I didn’t get pregnant until three months later. Alex’s father is the guy who rescued me. He saw my bike by the road and heard me yell. He kicked the shit out of Malenkov; I thought he was going to kill him. Rob turned out to be the only guy who really cared about me. I need to call and let him know what’s happening. We need to get Lana’s blood tested. I need to get home to Alex.”

Yuri pulled back onto the road.