Becoming (3 page)

The fury was now bubbling up and boiling inside. Gaia wanted to slap his face, but she needed to remain calm, and find out more.

‘Let’s suppose I overlooked your snooping about, and we assume I did want to escape the island. It’s near impossible to get off here. So come on, humour me. What’s the big plan?’

Aran laid the candle on the floor between them. There was just enough light to highlight part of their faces, while shadows danced upon the rest. She could see his sharp features wrapped in the soft golden glow. He looked down at the floor, playing with his hands, then stared at her, an intense look on his face.

‘Everyone thinks the only way on and off the island is by boat. It’s an island, of course and we’re surrounded by sea. Why would you question that? Well, it’s not the only way. For the most part we’re cut off, but not always.’

Gaia was alert now, a tingle of excitement rippled through her. She had always assumed that escaping the island would mean stealing a boat. Swimming would be treacherous, suicidal. There were strong currents, the creatures in the water. Gaia had been developing wild and creative alternative ways of escaping for some time, but she knew most were fanciful. Her plans had reached a dead end, and as the becoming neared she was resigned to her fate. This had stirred the excitement again.

‘Go on then. Tell me.’

‘On the far side of the island there’s a causeway. It’s why we’re restricted from going there. At low tide you can see it. It’s only there for a few hours until the tide rises. It’s narrow, and is about a mile long. It was built in the old days, for vehicles. It’s just a road really, lined with rocks, but it’s pretty solid still. It was the main means of getting to and from the island in the past. Now, it’s a weakness and the best means of escape. They don’t want us to know about it.’

‘So how did you find out about it?’

‘A couple of years ago, I became friends with an older boy. He told me he was planning an escape, and asked me to go with him. I reacted just like you, but he told me about the causeway. I was tempted, but I wasn’t ready. I was too young and scared.’

Aran paused. They both listened to the silence beyond the leafy walls of the lair. They were both nervous, still checking they were alone.

‘Let’s just say I’ve had enough now. I need to get out of here. The boy told me there’s a community in the hills, and that the rumours were true. He had proof and was going to find them.’

Gaia could feel the heavy thud of her beating heart. Her voice remained just a whisper.

‘So what happened to him?’

‘He and another boy took off, but I never heard from them again. I’ve no idea if they made it, but they never came back and there was never any mention of them here, or of their escape. You might remember them disappearing when we first arrived from the mainland.’

Gaia had a vague recollection of something. There were rumours all the time about young people going missing. Some would say they had tried to escape, others suggested more sinister things. She tended to ignore them, as the possibilities were too disturbing.

‘So you don’t actually know if this causeway exists or not? You’ve only got his word for it.’

‘No. I was curious about it, and wanted to see it for myself, so one afternoon, in free time I ran across the island to find it. I followed the beach. It was a bit of a hike and it was a tight thing getting there and back in time. I only just made it. I was sure they’d rumble me, but I got away with it.’

‘So you saw it and it’s possible to cross?’

‘Yes. From this side getting across doesn’t look too bad. It’s all about the timing cos of the tides. We’d need to make sure we have enough of a head start. The last thing we want is the leaders finding out we’re missing before we reach the mainland. Once we’re across and the tide is in again we’d have a good lead on them. The plan is to make for a river and follow it upstream to the hills.’

Aran paused again, and gave her time to take it in. Gaia was cooling now, and heartened that he had chosen her. That he trusted her. He continued.

‘If we get to the hills there’s a chance the other community hiding there will find us. It’s risky, I know, but there’s a chance. What’s the other option? If we stay here we’ll spend the rest of our lives under their control. Who knows what’ll happen when they ship us off to the haven. If we make it we get a chance to build our own lives.’

Gaia put her head in her hands. This was a lot to process and her brain was burning with energy and excitement. For a long time her plans had been just dreams, and of late they had been crumbling in despair. This changed everything.

‘OK, so you know there’s a causeway. It sounds as though we’ve got a chance if we can get there. But I can still pick a load of holes in your plan. I mean there’s how and when we get away from here, making sure we don’t get found before the tide is in. It needs a lot of thinking through. This causeway. Why didn’t they use it to get us here? I can remember the journey from the schools on the mainland. We reached the island in a boat. I’m sure of it.’

‘How do you know?’

‘You could tell. You could feel it.’

‘Exactly. They had to do that so no-one realised. The best way of keeping us here is for us to think there’s no way to escape. This whole place is a lie built to control us. The causeway is just another part of it.’

Something else was troubling Gaia.

‘This other community in the hills. How can you be so sure they exist? We’ve all heard the tales about the place, but it could be just wishful thinking. What if we get all the way there and there’s nothing?’

There was a long pause, then Aran leant forward close to her face.

‘I know it exists. I’ve seen proof.’

Gaia was struggling to contain herself now. A midnight candlelit conversation in a hidden camp in the woods was turning her world upside down. All she had hoped might be possible was becoming real. She tried to keep her voice down and suppress her emotion.

‘So show me!’

‘When I knew the boy was planning to escape I followed him here to the camp. I came back when he wasn’t here, and found some stuff hidden. There were some papers, maps, letters. One of the letters was from the community. I’ve still got it here. Look.’

Aran stood and moved to the back of the camp. The candle was still flickering by Gaia’s feet, casting the same discerning glow. She was nervous and excited, trying to process all that had been thrown at her. There was some shuffling, a pause, then Aran appeared and sat in front. There was something in his hands which he handed to her. As Gaia moved it into the glow of the candle she saw a small piece of folded paper. It looked grubby, and felt damp. Aran spoke.

‘Go on. Read it.’

Gaia unfolded it, struggling to see in the dim light. The hand-writing was rough, difficult to read, the letters were large and flowery, ornate. She tilted the letter further towards the light, her eyes squinting:
‘Dear Savas
Hopefully you will get this letter. Everything is in place as planned. We are waiting for you. Just head to the hills and we will find you.

Good luck
 

M’
 

Gaia read it again, her heart fluttering and hands trembling. She paused, took a deep breath, attempted to compose herself, needing to think this through. This was all that she had dreamt of, but this needed to time. There were many risks to consider.

‘I guess it looks genuine. I assume Savas was the boy you spoke of.’

‘Yes. I don’t know how he was communicating with them, or how he got the letter.’

‘Let’s say this all stacks up. We’ve got the causeway as an escape route. If that comes off, and it’s still a big if, then we have to find our way across the mainland, somewhere we know next to nothing about. We have to find a river, follow it to the hills, and hope this community will find us. All on the strength of a note for someone else that’s now a few years old. And you can guarantee the leaders will send out a pursuit party with dogs to track us down. Not to mention any other delights waiting out there to surprise us. And there’ll only be the two of us! As plans go, it doesn’t sound the best, does it?’

‘Look I know it’s a long shot, but there won’t be just the two of us.’

Gaia twisted her face, leant forward, drawing closer.

‘There are more?’

‘Yes. I’ve asked a few others.’

She snarled, spitting the words out.

‘How many? Who?’

‘If they all agree, there’ll be four of us. I’m not saying who though. I want to protect everyone. I’m the one taking the risk at the moment. If we’re found out before we manage to get away I don’t want to drag others into it. This is the best way. Trust me.’

Gaia laughed and shook her head.

‘This just gets better and better! No, I won’t do it Aran. It’s too big a risk. There are too many holes in it. You’re asking me to put everything on the line and all I can see is danger. I know things are bad in this place, but I’d rather wait and get through the becoming, then take my chances in the haven. Thanks for the offer, but count me out.’

Aran put his head down, and picked a small stone from the dirt, rolling it between his fingers.

‘I’m disappointed, but I understand. If you change your mind let me know. There’s still a place open for you. I want to go soon, but we’ve got a couple of weeks yet.’

Aran stared at her, the light from the candle giving his expression a sinister edge.

‘And I can rely on you to keep quiet about this?’

Their eyes locked as Gaia returned the stare.

‘Of course. However crazy this is, and however pissed off I am that you’ve dragged me into it, I’m no snitch. You can trust me, but the same goes for you too though. I know nothing, right?’

‘No problem.’

There was a sound outside, something above them. The branches shook, but only for a moment. They both froze, their breath slowing to nothing. The slightest noise seemed to echo around them. All they heard were the incidental sounds of the woods, the gentle purring of nocturnal living. The branches shook again. This time it was more vigorous, followed by a flapping sound and a loud, rapid clicking. Gaia looked at Aran, alarm on their faces. He gestured and threw her a quizzical look. She frowned and mouthed to him:

‘
Night birds.’

Aran shook his head, but Gaia nodded. She was sure, and had heard this before. The candle was still lit, so she licked her fingertips and snuffed it out, plunging them into pitch black. Aran grabbed her arm. Gaia eased her hand forward feeling his knee, and leant towards him, her head seeking to find his. She wanted to whisper to him. Her head searched the darkness, trying to sense where his face was, to feel the warmth of his body, and the faintest indication he was near. She felt the heat of his panting breathe. His face was close. Angling her lips reaching for his ear, desperate to release her whisper, she inched towards him. Her lips glanced his skin, the faintest brush of his smooth and delicate cheek. She moved them along the line of his face towards his ear. All the while Aran was still, frozen like stone. Her lips stroked his ear, like fingertips, and Gaia whispered.

‘It’s the night birds. I know it is. We need to get out of here now.’

Gaia felt his head move in a nod, Aran took her arm and together they stood. She moved behind him, her finger hooked through one of his belt holes. He edged forward step by step, tiptoeing his way towards the entrance, as she shuffled behind, feeling her way in the pitch black, clinging to him. They could see nothing, but he knew the layout well enough to feel their escape. Together they eased through the dirt, inching forward. Her senses had awoken and come alive, her hearing picking up every rustle, the buzz of the silent air, and the occasional flurry of the clicks and flapping from above. The violent shaking had stopped, but they knew they were still there. Her feet reached forward, stroking the darkness and the ground below. Aran stopped at the entrance, turned and took Gaia by the arm. His fingertips touched her face and moved to her chin. Gaia sensed his lips as they moved to her ear.

‘What now?’

Gaia could only just make out his words. Aran did not speak, rather let them drift from his breath. She put her head to his, and traced her lips across his face again. For a moment their lips brushed, not a kiss, just the softest connection. She whispered again, only the delicate waves of her breath carrying the words.

‘Open the door and we run for it. If we split up I’ll meet you at the edge of the woods.’

Gaia felt Aran’s hand grip her arm, as his other hand reached out and took the branches of the door. He squeezed harder, and moved the branches back, the glow from the light of the crescent moon appeared as they parted. They both stepped out, as Aran eased the branches back. In an instant they darted into the woods. Gaia was quick, but she let him lead, tucking in behind, as he weaved his way, this way and that. At first they heard nothing but the crack of the branches underfoot and their own panting. Then they heard them overhead, swooping sounds as the birds dived towards them. The noise of the clicking growing louder and softer. Soon Aran and Gaia reached the edge of the woods and stopped. Aran lent on a tree to gather his breath as Gaia peered out into the opening, looking for any signs of movement, listening for any more noises. There was nothing. They were safe for now, waiting while their breath slowed. Gaia spoke, her voice a soft whisper.

‘Looks like they’ve gone, but we need to get back to our dorms quickly. What happened tonight stays between us.’

Aran stood up straight, and reached out and held Gaia by the arm. He looked at her, his face pleading. Her eyes locked onto his lips, with the thought of them touching only moments ago. She watched as they moved, carving out his words.

‘Think about what I said Gaia. This is the best chance you’ll get to escape. Trust me!’

With that Aran headed out into the opening and across the field towards his dorm on the far side of the encampment. Gaia watched as his shadowy outline moved away, lit by the moon, but drifting out of view. She steadied herself before setting off. There was a lot to think about, but now was not the time. Moving across the field to the dorm, Gaia paused outside the entrance, listening for any trace of sound or movement inside. There was nothing, so she tried the handle and pulled the door. It did not move. Gaia tried again, arching the handle further to make sure it was not caught, but still it failed to budge. She tugged again, a little harder, but fearful the noise might alert Hakan.

Gaia’s thoughts drifted back to leaving earlier, retracing the steps in her mind. She was sure the door was not locked, but doubts set in. A flash of panic ran through her as she wrestled with the images in her head. Fumbling for the key in her pocket, Gaia placed it in the lock, turned it and felt the click. As the handle moved the door eased open. She crept through the narrowest of openings and closed it. Tiptoeing through the passage towards the main sleeping area there was a voice, echoing in the passage.

‘Good evening thirty seven.’

Gaia jumped and turned. Hakan was there. Standing in the shadows at the far side of the passage by the bedroom door. His body was smothered in darkness, but the face was clear as he lent forward into the light, eyes dark and intense.

‘Where’ve you been?’

Gaia’s heart was like a hammer smashing at her chest. She could not breath, her mind was whirling with panic, her mouth felt dry and rancid. Survival mode kicked in. Despite the chaotic churning of her body and mind, the brain took control forcing out some words.

‘Sorry leader, I felt ill and needed some air. I didn’t want to disturb anyone. I didn’t go far. Just for a short walk.’

There was a long pause. The knife was in. Hakan wanted to twist it.

‘Mmmmmm, ill. You do seem a little anxious, let’s say off colour. How did you manage to get outside given that the door was locked, of course?’

Gaia’s heart was in her mouth.

‘There was a key in the door. This one. I assumed it was yours.’

Gaia reached in her pocket and held out the key. Hakan stepped out of the shadows and towards her. He was wearing pyjama bottoms, but no shirt. She could see his naked torso, covered in thick black hair. He shuffled across the hall, bare-footed, silent, stopping just in front. Hakan waited, looked down at the key in her hand. He took it and lifted it close to his face twirling it in his fingers, studying it, staring at Gaia, leaning in close.

‘So it is.’

Hakan winked, and eased his head back. There was a long pause and silence. Gaia could smell his stale breath. A grin crept across his face, as his pale blue eyes pierced hers. He stood silent, staring, waiting for her to speak or move.

‘Now get back to your dorm and we’ll keep this our little secret, shall we? But you owe me, and I’ll expect something as a token of your gratitude for my silence and discretion. Just let me have a think about it. Now off you go.’

‘Thank you leader.’

Gaia turned and made her way to the door of the dorm. She grabbed the handle, and was just about to open it when Hakan spoke again in a low, sinister snarl.

‘Good night Gaia. Remember, this is our little secret.’

Gaia opened the door and rushed over to her bed, undressed and climbed into bed staring at the familiar patterns of the bunk above. Her head was awash with the events of the night, her veins pumping adrenalin and fear through every muscle and sinew. Fists were clenched in anger and frustration. She was vulnerable now, and knew it was only a matter of time. Hakan had something over her, the power to manipulate her for his own ends, and Gaia knew what that meant. There was the meeting with Kali in the morning and whatever that would bring. There was a lot to consider, and she needed to sleep, but it was elusive that night. Gaia drifted into a state of semi-consciousness, neither asleep nor awake. Nightmares plagued her, as all her worst fears played out.

Morning came, and the light of the sun crept through the cracks in the curtains. The sharp, piercing shafts penetrated the windows, and pinned the wooden floors. Gaia gazed at them, and tried to count them, feeling their warmth as they grew in number and intensity. She was trying to forget the night before, but there was no avoiding the truth. Gaia had mulled the thoughts, possibilities and implications over and over, tossing and turning them all night. She had wrestled and weighed them a thousand times, now knowing what had to be done.