Beautiful Child (6 page)

‘Thanks for bringing these in, baby,’ said Susie as she placed the last piece of her Tuna salad sandwich in her mouth. ‘I wouldn’t have had time to go out for anything’

Angus had brought his chair round to her side of the desk and leaned forward and kissed her. ‘All part of the service’

She gently stroked the side of his face. He still gave her the butterflies. He worked on weights at the gym and his shoulders looked like they could raise his Airbus jet off the ground by themselves. He was in a black polo shirt and blue jeans and his thick, strong arms tapered into slim wrists and big hands. His wide chest did the same into his waist before giving way to his tree trunk legs. His hair was jet black and his dark eyes and square jaw gave him the look of someone off the cover of a man’s fitness magazine. She was so consumed with lust whenever he was around. She knew she was a lucky girl.

‘I missed you last night,’ Susie said at last.

‘You can show me how much later.’

‘I shall look forward to that.’ said Susie. ‘So how was your night flight?’

‘There and back to Ibiza’ said Angus who’d only had a few hours sleep but didn’t feel too bad. ‘Nice and short, no dramas.’

Angus had been born and brought up in Surrey and had come up to the north for his first job after qualifying as an airline pilot. On his first night out in Manchester he’d met Susie who’d told him there and then that he was coming home with her. This wasn’t difficult for Angus. Their mutual attraction was strong. That weekend he stayed at Susie’s place and a couple of months later he gave notice at the shared house he’d been renting with two other pilots in Macclesfield. He hadn’t anticipated meeting anybody as quickly as he’d met Susie. He’d been looking forward to playing the field where girls were concerned and having boys’ nights with his housemates. But that wasn’t to be and he wasn’t complaining. Susie was the girl for him and he’d never given it a second thought that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

‘I’m looking forward to becoming Mrs. Angus Carleton too,’ said Susie.

‘Not long now. Just two short weeks.’

‘I spoke to your Mum this morning,’ said Susie. ‘It’s such good news about your Dad.’

Angus had spoken to his mother that morning too and she’d managed to settle a growing anxiety he’d had about the wedding. His parents were divorced and his father now lived in Hong Kong with his new wife. His father had been threatening not to come over for the wedding until Angus’s mother apologised for remarks she’d made to his new wife on their most recent visit home to the UK. Angus’s mother had finally found it in her heart to do that for the sake of her son’s happiness.

‘I couldn’t have had the wedding without my Dad being there.’

‘Well you don’t have to now,’ said Susie, ‘but I think we owe your Mum one. It must’ve taken a lot for her to back down. And if truth be told I don’t know if I could’ve.’

‘In front of the whole family she called Nancy a Chinese whore who should stick to frying rice.’

‘I know,’ said Susie, ‘and that was unpleasant.’

‘And it was racist.’

‘Yes I know but taking that away and every wronged first wife would be able to identify with the feelings behind what your mother said. I’ve really got to know your Mum over the last few weeks and I like her, Angus. And she’s not a racist.’

‘I know that, Susie,’ said Angus, ‘I just wish she hadn’t said it.’

Susie took hold of Angus’s hand. ‘I think she wishes that too, baby.’

‘And why doesn’t she move on? Malcolm has been part of her life for a long time now and he adores her. I know he’s asked. So why doesn’t she?’

‘Because she hasn’t quite stopped loving your father yet and until she does she won’t be asking you to walk her down the aisle to marry another man, however lovely Malcolm is.’

‘Well I love my Mum and I love my Dad and I’m relieved they’ll both be there on the happiest day of my life.’

Susie kissed him. ‘Me too. Now darling, can I ask you something?’

‘Sure,’ he said as he ran his fingers up and down her arm.

‘You work with a lot of gay men in the airline business, don’t you.’

‘Yeah?’ said Angus, munching on his chicken and bacon tortilla wrap. ‘Where’s this going?’

‘ Well have you ever been tempted? I mean, they say that the difference between a straight man and a curious one is six pints of lager.’

‘I kissed a guy once, yeah.’

‘Kissed him?’ asked a startled Susie. She hadn’t expected him to say yes.

‘Well I suppose you could say I snogged him to be honest.’

‘Tongues?’

‘Oh yeah.’

‘Fuck’s sake! Tell me more’

‘He was a friend of mine at university’ said Angus. ‘One of my best friends actually. He was gay and I knew he was into me but I just ignored it because we were mates. Anyway, one night it just happened. We were drunk, we’d had a great evening out at the pub and it just happened.’

‘But what did happen?’

‘We were sitting together on the sofa, we were close and the next thing he kissed me. And I responded.’

‘You responded?’

‘I wanted to see what it felt like, yeah,’ said Angus. ‘but within seconds I knew that I wasn’t even a little bit gay or even bisexual. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like the feel of stubble against stubble.’

‘ Did you get a stiffy?’

‘ Semi, yeah’ said Angus. ‘But it went down again once I’d realised it wasn’t what I was into.’

‘How did your friend react?’

‘He called me a prick tease’ said Angus, ‘we were never the same after that.’

‘The poor baby was in love.’

Angus blushed. ‘Yeah, it seems that way.’

‘Where is he now?’

‘We graduated the same time and he joined the RAF. He’s flying the Eurofighter now. The last I heard he was part of a squadron that’s seeing action in the Middle East somewhere. I’ve nothing but respect for him and I always wanted to forget about what had happened and stay friends. You know it makes no difference to me if someone is gay. But he felt differently.’

‘You broke his heart.’

Angus blushed even more. ‘Well if you want to put it like that.’

‘Well how else could I put it?’

‘Yeah, point taken.’

‘So all those gay boys at work? There must be tons who fancy you?’

‘Yeah, and I flirt and have a laugh but that’s as far as it goes,’ said Angus, ‘but why all these questions about me and man love?’

‘I was just thinking about my brother Matt,’ said Susie, ‘he’s good looking, he’s funny, he’s intelligent …’

‘…and he can’t find anyone.’

‘And he won’t find anyone,’ said Susie, ‘because of Charlie fucking Baxter. God, I loathe that man. My brother is wasting the best years of his life over that user.’

‘Are you sure Matt has got a thing for him?’

‘Absolutely sure,’ said Susie. ‘You don’t think he has?’

‘I agree that all the evidence is there,’ said Angus, ‘but what can we do?’

‘I don’t know but I just worry about him ever finding happiness, Angus. I mean in gay years he’s getting old.’

‘You make him sound like a dog.’

‘You know what I mean.’ said Susie. ‘Gays are so fucking youth orientated. I don’t want him to be lonely, Angus.’

‘You can’t help who you fall in love with, Susie.’

‘No. But if it remains unrequited then you have to dump it and Matt is doing the opposite of that when it comes to Charlie Baxter.’

*

Rita Makin had been a widow for ten years. Her late husband George had worked at the local factory manufacturing shampoo and other personal hygiene items for all their married life but the pension still had to be supplemented by the state. Rita had worked all that time too. She’d worked in Catholic children’s homes until vicious nuns had sacked her for wanting to show the kids some love. Then she’d spent the rest of her working days in a local flower shop, working alongside an owner whose husband had bought the shop for her as a means of tax avoidance. Rita had never been able to give herself to such luxurious thinking. She’d simply needed the cash and her boss, though friendly, had often subtly reminded Rita of their respective places in life. Rita had never really thought of herself as downtrodden. But she’d grown older believing that life could’ve offered her just a little more.

Which was why she wasn’t feeling guilty about what she was doing now.

It had been difficult to get used to at first. She’d only ever been with one man before and neither she nor George had ever been particularly adventurous in the bedroom department. So the first time she’d been nervous. It had been painful as he’d initially penetrated her and a selection of creams and lubricants had been needed to ease his way inside her. But it hadn’t been long before a whole wealth of feelings had gradually overwhelmed them both and she’d been as frustrated as him when he came too quickly. That had been an expression of his nervousness. So they’d practised their intimacy until now she felt like a woman should feel about having sex with a man who clearly loved her despite the circumstances. But she closed her eyes to all that and celebrated the fact that this could happen to her at this time in her life. They’d both needed comfort. That’s how it had happened. They’d each seen through the tears to something beyond. Now there wasn’t a cloud in the sky when he smiled at her. That’s what gave her the thrill she’d never known had been possible.

She still went to church, the same one that had once been attached to the children’s home where she’d worked all those decades ago. When she thought back to all that she had seen and heard back then she knew she should’ve spoken up for those poor kids who suffered unmercifully at the hands of those sadistic bitches who called themselves Nuns. Discipline and obedience were all that they dished out to the poor little mites and they could be savage with it, causing many a child to cry themselves to sleep in pain at the physical treatment they’d been subjected to. If it had been this day and age she’d have reported them all. Just because they were Nuns didn’t mean that they were above the law. She would’ve found it easy to report them now because the authorities these days made it easier for people like her to come forward and expose wrongdoing, particularly abuse against children who were supposed to be in someone’s care. But back then it was a lot more difficult and almost impossible to go against authority, whether it was some public body or something like the church. Over the years she’d lost all faith in the structures of the church. She continued to go because her faith in God had remained constant and she used her prayers as a private conversation with Him and to ask him to take care of all the children who’d been so badly treated. She also prayed for the Almighty’s forgiveness for not having spoken up to protect them.

She’d luxuriated in a long soak in the bath. Her cousin down in Derby had sent her some bath oil last Christmas and she kept it for special occasions such as when ‘he’ was coming round. The trouble was, she was having so many special occasions with ‘him’ that the bath oil was rapidly running down. She’d have to treat herself to another bottle.

She knew her body wasn’t what it used to be but he didn’t seem to mind. Her breasts were a joke compared to what they’d been when she’d married George but she couldn’t help that. And it was another thing that he didn’t seem to mind about. He seemed to celebrate the fact that she was a woman of advancing years who could still show a man how much she cared about him when they twisted their bodies together. She’d never known passion with George. It was always done in exactly the same way and in complete silence. George used to say that even any whispers and moans put him off. Now it was as if she’d been born into another world where the sheer pleasure found it’s way into both their voices. She wanted to shout about it from the rooftops but she couldn’t. This was their private world and would have to remain so until one day when perhaps the circumstances might change. God was really going to hate her for this. Every Catholic knows that adults shouldn’t indulge in pleasure unless it resulted in children or misery. That way the church could claim responsibility for the child’s welfare or the adults’ salvation. Well Rita had decided that she didn’t need saving. And more importantly, she didn’t want to be saved. 

She drew the curtains in the small conservatory at the back of the house and took her now empty coffee mug into the kitchen. She’d put on her best dress, the one he liked with the velvet collar, she’d taken great care over her make-up, and there wasn’t a single hair out of place. She’d even been to one of those lingerie boutiques and got herself something that she knew he’d like once her dress was off. She was excited. She felt that catapult in her stomach as the time drew near for him to arrive. She looked at her watch and saw that there was still half an hour to go. What on earth was she going to do to fill the time? She could try munching on something, nothing heavy, just a bit of salad but with no onions to linger on her breath.

She was just about to open the fridge door when she realised there was someone else in the room. She turned around and immediately recognised her visitor.

‘How did you get in?’

‘You shouldn’t leave your back door unlocked, Rita,’ he said. ‘I’ve been telling you that for weeks.’

‘Well forgive me but what do you want at this time of night? And why didn’t you knock?’